I'm not saying cops aren't stupid but if I were an american citizen I would hugely object to having someone so clearly lacking in intelligence and good judgement policing the population.
derek is perfect for the job. they'll love all the info he can give re his connections and he'll get his revenge on all you fuckers.
it'll finally give him a sense of worthiness and focus, and of course he doesn't mind sucking some dick or taking it in the pooper.
shit, he'll probably go all the way to the top of the fbi.