Dorian Yates talked about this , steroids are like cigarettes some people can smoke 3 packs a day for 50 years and never have a problem , other get cancer. The problem is you don't know which of those people you are until you roll the dice.
well, all in all you still reduce your lifespan using both, a lifespan that would have been longer if you didnt consume anything at all. I am sorry for him but man, did he do his best to get there. I feel sad cause i somehow "know" him, i know he was just insecure and a jerk, not a bad man, he was unable to keep a good woman, unable to find a real job, probably had huge family issues he will never solve, and i dont know the little kids or other people who suffer from the same kind of stuff so i cant take them into pity. He always struck me as a guy who was stuck in a low quality life. Studies , family etc where outof reach for him.
All it makes me think about is the absurdity of life. The butchery of life. I mean you guys realize at any given moment, tons of people die of many stupid reasons, suffering or not. We re just born, to die, and between birth and death, there's only struggle. You sometimes feel good when you successfully survive difficulties, but it's only to see your last victory being destroyed blindly by another difficulty until one day, you cant take it anymore.
He's probably sad because he knows he s going to die, I'm sad cause I know we , as a specie, will all die one day because we are animals and we can do nothing but kill between two peaceful phases. Rest is only a preparation of the next fight, struggle.
We all have our problems it seems, pick your poison! I hope he will have happy final days surrounded by people who love him , at least. That's funny , i dont even know why i wish him that, where does this empathetic thought come from. Wether he dies in peace or not, why would i care? In fact i probably dont genuinely care, it's just that i hope that myself the day i'll die, i'll be surrounded by loved ones instead of being alone. I'm not interested in his life, suffering or death, I'm just interested in understanding how not to repeat the same mistakes to optimize and increase my own odds of survival and those of my offspring.
We should all stop the bashing now. He abused everything under the sun, was dumb, ignorant, an asshole, despicable, but this stuff happen to people who did a lot more better with their lives. This is the real question how do you explain the randomness of all of that. We all have beliefs, thought processes, to give a meaning to what intrinsically, has none. To survive, our brains lie to us. It could happen to any of us. As if, there was no justice, just randomness, things happen and that's about it. Now what is interesting is the "meaning" we all fabricate to make the absurd daily reality tolerable. Life just makes no sense, but our brains are wired to give meaning to what intrinsically has none. When you re in the flow of life, working, having significant relationships and so on, you rebound a lot easier, you cope with the blows with more ease. When you look at life from a distance whatever the reason -being handicaped, unemployed, old , wounded, etc- and its absurdity, the fact we re just animals randomly killing and getting killed simply because "that's just the way it is" , you dont feel very good about the whole thing. It's even tougher when you feel like you dont contribute, dont participate in anything, when you feel like you re useless. This is what motivate people with nothing, to destroy what others have, or try to steal it, and the cycle keeps repeating itself over and over again.The biggest irony of life is that we probably all think we are right in everything we do to insure our survival.
I guess the right thing to do in all of this is to follow the Bible, God, and do your best to be nice to everyone, work, contribute, transform yourself to be better while motivating other people to do the same. Then you can be proud of your success, and nobody will want to destroy it. If you re really an expert, nobody will even be able to replace you so you dont have to worry about that. Sublimation, perfection. That way you should have all the pros without the cons of life? Lifting weights, playing some sports, working, taking care of family...being with people, helping them... making money excelling at what you re doing...helping other people do the same without fearing they might backstab you or replace you...
It's all nice and rosy but if only it was that easy. Can you do that? That's probably the thoughest shit to do in this life. Fact is most people want to fuck you up, abuse you, dominate you, every time you interact with them and you have to make your boundaries clear and enforce them if and when needed. Life, is war, on all levels. Not getting angry at other people, not continuing their bad behaviors, falling for their games, becoming just like them. Can you keep your inner peace, while seeing people do you or your loved ones harm? No, in these moments the cold reality of what life truly is take over. We re just animals. It's killing, or getting killed. That's the only meaning of life, and all lifeforms have no other -blind- purpose but to reproduce indefinitely and adapt to...survive.
We re all facing people who have it all and in all impunity seem to be able to crush other people lives without ever being worried. So at this point yeah, we all start to doubt the utopic religious view, meaning of life. We just see each others as animals who have no other purpose but kill or get killed.
In real life, we re all forced to see other people animalistic behaviors, and to realize we re just the same, that at its core, life is just about life forms trying to adapt at all costs, being able to do so (using brains, or muscle etc) whatever the way you discover to survive facing the competition , makes you happy, failing makes you frustrated, stressed, wanting to die.
Derek could have chosen a better path, lifting naturally, not doing roids, synthol, rec drugs, not posing in front of a webcam for schmoes as a living... but in the end he would have died too. What probably makes hi sad is what he hasnt been able to achieve before dying; building a healthy, happy family, doing better with what he inherited and acquired. That's probably his only regret. And the shame of having been exposed, laughed at, for so long, reading that many people will enjoy his death.
But...what about the other men who live the same lifestyle, and arent about to die? Lot of males do the same stuff as a living, but their health is ok, maybe later it will worsen, but why DA has to die now ? Because he really , really, abused more than they do? Many people deserve to die more than him, murderers etc, still, they ll live longer lives. How comes? Where is the justice in all of that?
There's probably none. That's just the vain, absurd, stupid way it is, life is. Can anyone come up with something more optimistic?
We all try to survive, and feel somewhat good to see other die as it subconsciously mean we have been spared, all of this developed during millions of years of evolution, that's just how all lifeforms are. We re only sad when someone who was important to our own survival dies. We all try to adapt, and have to step on other people in many occasions to insure our own survival. Even if we didnt want to, we would still have to, cause that's just the way it is.
One thing is sure, Heaven is not on earth. And the funny is that all winners, finally lose one day, hapiness is probably seeing others fail before you do.
