most animals instinctively abandon weaker animals to their death if they re risking their own survival in helping them. We all abandon weaker ones at some point, no matter how hard we pretend to "love" them. Because our instinct of survival, the survival of our own body, our deep inner desire to still dominate, have fun, have pleasure, is the only thing that matters. At this point we see ourselves and others for what they truly are; machines, animals, and everything else we say, think, is just fairytales. We re constantly lying to ourselves and others about our intentions.
We only stay with others because of mutual shared interests, and if these interests vanish, we throw each others into the trash bin without a second thought just like we trash material objects which are of no use anymore with relief. The biggest "love" becomes the biggest hate, two sides of the same coin.
This is our true nature. We all abandon others, and we all get abandonned by them.
Rest is fairytales. The concept of "love" is a joke. Behind "love", there are interests, and survival.
All religions and philosophies came to the conclusion the point of life for a human being was to be happy. Science proves more and more that what underlies hapiness, the feeling of hapiness, of pleasure, is to actually be able to dominate other lifeforms.
Only the strong enjoy life, while his, her position of domination lasts. The weak "hope" he or his offsprings will dominate. If for some reason he realizes he or his offsprings wont be able to dominate, life gradually loses its taste.
Basically the strong always need to see the weak suffer, in order to feel better, to feel good. And we only help others who are important to our survival, who we identify with, while ignoring those who are of no use in our own survival.
Life is brutal from the very beginning to the very end no matter how hard you try to sugarcoat it. There is somehow, some perversity in lying to your kids, in giving birth to them, in spawning them into this hell known as "life". Humans are definitly sadistic, hypocritical duplicit animals who spend most of their lives enjoying other people demise and suffering.
Prime, you spent a lot of time pretending to be happier than you actually were, and now you re exposing what most of us were able to see; your life was as much pointless and painful than anyone else's existence.
Most people spend their lives pretending to be happier than they are. We all end miserable wondering what kind of sad joke life is, and how hard we ve been owned originally by those who gave birth to us.
You can try to focus on "new stuff", think about something else than the cold hard reality, in the end it always win, we all slowly, gradually realize the true nature of existence, our true animal nature, and how vain the whole process of life is at its core. Even those who successfully by different methods, spend their lives willingly ignoring death, absurdity, randomness, die because their organs fail at some point. For others, the body still work, but the mind have seen it all too soon.
And there is no coming back , no possibility to become an ignorant, innocent child again, it's a one way travel.