The only other thing is The kids are not mine. I guess maybe I love the kids and stick with them and is probably not the right answer because I don’t want them to feel as if I abandoned them like I said the last father and I don’t wanna mention now but depression was a part of it. Now I’m going down the same road, I was born with addictive personality and heart those two together go hand in hand and it’s not a good thing.
Before you think about others you have to take care of yourself. If you are on limp mode you are not a good influence on the kids.
Abusive women can and will destroy you. Leave her. Just like that. Love yourself before anything else.
Otherwise you will end up losing you sanity, health, job, your source of income, and inherently she will leave you.
When you leave her, prepare yourself to face some sort of child support demandings from her, regardless of whose the father.
Remember: you first. It's not about selfishness, it's about survival.
The booze will fade away once you have balance in your life. Live alone for a while. Or forever, for that matter.