Addiction is hereditary, so doing it habitually is an issue for you, Ive never been an addict, but Ive been a serial binger, work all week, train all week, then hit it saturday afternoon and night to de stress, I deserved it, I earned it, now i accept that was wrong. I also come from a family background that have issues around addiction.
I have drank 4 times this year, each time a reminder of why I don't as I consume too much and I drink to get drunk, not to be social, although it starts that way.
Took me a few years of weekly sessions to work myself out, as it will you if you want to change, I no longer blindside myself getting drunk, I'm aware of stress, how i manage stress, acting on impulses triggers etc. I still fall of the wagon occasionally, but as I tell my therapist, i do it from a far more informed position.
You need to go and get some professional help, I was the last person who would ever have contemplated going and as I was only doing the weekend binge and I didn't think i needed help, but i did, i needed to face what I was escaping from in a different way, and I no longer drink as I'm stressed or had a hard week at work, and I have a shiteload of responsibility and stress with a lot of people counting on me to pay their mortgages and feed their families, it ways heavy on me, but even heavier from a point of the next day after a bender.
Get some help, understanding how your body and mind manipulates your subconscious is what you need to learn and understand, as long as you want to change and are prepared to, your life will improve with or without her. You can't make life decisions whilst your drinking.
Good luck