Brian will never leave us; we are the only friends he's got. He's just having another emotional episode and he's finding it all a bit overwhelming - like the women with borderline who threaten suicide every time you upset them. We just need to be a bit more understanding of his condition and show a little more positivity. The last thing anyone wants is another snapped skateboard.
He didn't even realise he was bald before we told him. Now he's wearing hats all the time and pretending that he doesn't desperately want to get a hair transplant because it would be a sign of him conceding defeat to us. The thing is, Brian, we aren't at war with you. We WANT you to be the best version of yourself. If you ditched the Krusty the Clown hairdo and bought some decent clothes that fit, we'd congratulate you and support you.
Brian, when you've calmed down, come back and tell us all about your curling session. Was it arduous? What did you have to eat afterwards? I bet it was a big meal!
