Here it is:
The Theory of Hanky Time Relativity:
Anything positive done by Hanky ever (amount lifted, time breath held, fights/matches "won," condition or weight achieved, etc.) counts forever for him as his ability right now. Anything positive achieved by another must be achievable by them right now or it doesn't count.
Any negative failure attributable to Hanky (Rocked by Clegg, quit on stool, DNF quit at show, Curl record denied, etc.) happened only on that one day, hour, minute, or second and has no relation to what he could do the next second, can do now, or will do in whatever arbitrary future period he chooses. All failures of others are eternally attributable to them now.
This is applied over and above any excuses, Semhanktics or explanations he gives for his failures.