Brian, no one thinks your current shit pile is fake. What we do think is that you suddenly developed an obsession over the past year when you thought you were going to be a hot-shot lawyer and you needed to blend in, so you went nuts and bought a massive collection with zero thought involved.
Crappy two-tone Tudor. Bog-standard Datejust. Ubiquitous Speedmaster. Boring stainless steel Tank. You speed-ran through every popular reference not because you have any passion for them, but because you hoped that the brand names could compensate for the gaping void where your personality should be. They are a polished reflection of your character: devoid of any substance.
You can't even pronounce the word 'tourbillion' and yet you just dropped 13 grand on one that will have the resale value of a used condom. When you croak in the next couple of years, what is your family supposed to do with 100 stupid micro-brands and Chinese shitters? I don't think you've ever made a sensible purchase in your life.
By the way, Heck is destroying you on Facebook. Is it true that you've been booted from every group you posted on for issuing empty threats?
