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Getbig Main Boards => Gossip & Opinions => Topic started by: Thong Maniac on June 21, 2016, 04:58:59 PM

Title: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: Thong Maniac on June 21, 2016, 04:58:59 PM
just found out my new neighbors are absolute ass holes. the kind who bitch about anything and everything and thrive off of it. they want it their way, on everything. rude, confrontational people. retired, bizy bodies who want control of the neighbor hood. just bullies.

my deamnor is very beta and uber respectful conscientious  (like too much) in public, so i shy from confrontation at almost all costs. that is my problem as i try to "man up" in the face of this issue.

as im sitting her debating what to say to neighbors, for example, if i put something on the my side of the yard, they dont like, and so i sit here wanting to think of what im going to say back...i have this rushing, almost crippling anxiety/brain fog. i can hear my pulse, and just feel so bottled up and repressed, but at the same time annoyed with myself that im even feeling that way just THINKING of what i would say/do in a situation. juts crippling nervousness. when confronted with "travis u cant do that, im going to call the city and take u to court", i like freeze up with panic. im not quick on my feet to begin with, but when confronted with confrontation i almost short circuit.

how do i channel this? any experiences with how to be a real man, and relaxingly troll a neighbor who hates you? i would love to just laugh and smile and wave as he yells or complains. but im so nervous it would feel fake.

times like these i wish i was a sociopath
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: Wiggs on June 21, 2016, 05:03:04 PM
Overcome fear of confrontation. Let them talk but never show your hand, act accordingly and use all available resources. In that order.
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: Thong Maniac on June 21, 2016, 05:04:57 PM
Overcome fear of confrontation. Let them talk but never show your hand, act accordingly and use all available resources. In that order.

thanks for the advice, but how do u overcome the fear of confrontation? 
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: Chacka on June 21, 2016, 05:06:52 PM
never show your hand

THIS
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: Army of One on June 21, 2016, 05:19:25 PM
Have sex with the husband to assert dominance
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: Andy Griffin on June 21, 2016, 05:21:41 PM
just found out my new neighbors are absolute ass holes. the kind who bitch about anything and everything and thrive off of it. they want it their way, on everything. rude, confrontational people. retired, bizy bodies who want control of the neighbor hood. just bullies.

my deamnor is very beta and uber respectful conscientious  (like too much) in public, so i shy from confrontation at almost all costs. that is my problem as i try to "man up" in the face of this issue.

as im sitting her debating what to say to neighbors, for example, if i put something on the my side of the yard, they dont like, and so i sit here wanting to think of what im going to say back...i have this rushing, almost crippling anxiety/brain fog. i can hear my pulse, and just feel so bottled up and repressed, but at the same time annoyed with myself that im even feeling that way just THINKING of what i would say/do in a situation. juts crippling nervousness. when confronted with "travis u cant do that, im going to call the city and take u to court", i like freeze up with panic. im not quick on my feet to begin with, but when confronted with confrontation i almost short circuit.

how do i channel this? any experiences with how to be a real man, and relaxingly troll a neighbor who hates you? i would love to just laugh and smile and wave as he yells or complains. but im so nervous it would feel fake.

times like these i wish i was a sociopath

Be totally passive-aggressive.

Shy away from them in public but order tons of gay pr0n and have it sent to their address.  Also create fake FB pages in their names and target local black men online, referring to them as "boy" , "jigaboo" , and such while at the same time expressing curiosity of this whole "cuckolding" thing.  Visit websites of local businesses and leave incendiary comments in these people's names.  

Proactive steps like this can help end conflict quickly.  You're welcome.

Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: Tapeworm on June 21, 2016, 05:24:05 PM
Excuse yourself from uninvited conversations by saying you've got a lot to do.  If they're making demands that you cut your grass 1/4" shorter so it looks like theirs etc, simply say you'll think about it and, again, make an exit.  Hopefully they'll take the hint and quit hassling.  If things get really unpleasant, or you think they might, document everything with dates and send all communication through a lawyer, but this will get costly.

There's no magic words that makes pain in the ass people suddenly stop being pains in the ass and confrontations/heel digging are only going to add fuel to the fire.  Sorry they live next door to you.  The difference between a good neighbor and a bad one is about 500 yards imo.  If you successfully murder these two and get away with it, what's to stop the next two being equally pesky?  Move out of the suburbs.
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: Andy Griffin on June 21, 2016, 05:27:48 PM
Just fucking man up and speak your mind. What the fuck is wrong with you.

Your father would probably slap you across the head and shake his head at you. You're going to let some old fucks tell you what to do? You fucking low test or something?

You have given the best advice of all.  While I attempted to help the OP work within his self-imposed limitations, you did the kindest thing by telling him to man the fuck up.  Well done, sir.
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: The True Adonis on June 21, 2016, 05:28:23 PM
just found out my new neighbors are absolute ass holes. the kind who bitch about anything and everything and thrive off of it. they want it their way, on everything. rude, confrontational people. retired, bizy bodies who want control of the neighbor hood. just bullies.

my deamnor is very beta and uber respectful conscientious  (like too much) in public, so i shy from confrontation at almost all costs. that is my problem as i try to "man up" in the face of this issue.

as im sitting her debating what to say to neighbors, for example, if i put something on the my side of the yard, they dont like, and so i sit here wanting to think of what im going to say back...i have this rushing, almost crippling anxiety/brain fog. i can hear my pulse, and just feel so bottled up and repressed, but at the same time annoyed with myself that im even feeling that way just THINKING of what i would say/do in a situation. juts crippling nervousness. when confronted with "travis u cant do that, im going to call the city and take u to court", i like freeze up with panic. im not quick on my feet to begin with, but when confronted with confrontation i almost short circuit.

how do i channel this? any experiences with how to be a real man, and relaxingly troll a neighbor who hates you? i would love to just laugh and smile and wave as he yells or complains. but im so nervous it would feel fake.

times like these i wish i was a sociopath
Give me some examples of what you are doing that they don't like and I will tell you the truth of what you can or should do.
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: cephissus on June 21, 2016, 05:33:51 PM
Just fucking man up and speak your mind. What the fuck is wrong with you.

Your father would probably slap you across the head and shake his head at you. You're going to let some old fucks tell you what to do? You fucking low test or something?

So what if he is?  Still a case of 'just manning up' ???
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: Thong Maniac on June 21, 2016, 05:50:47 PM
Give me some examples of what you are doing that they don't like and I will tell you the truth of what you can or should do.

calling our house to complain that an interior light was left on during the night and it kept her awake because she could see it on (this is not a flood light, this is a lamp, fyi-inside my own house.
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: Wiggs on June 21, 2016, 05:56:32 PM
Consider the use of Hegelian Dialectic tactics, false flags, neurolinguistic programming and other advanced strategies.
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: Andy Griffin on June 21, 2016, 06:07:18 PM
Consider the use of Hegelian Dialectic tactics, false flags, neurolinguistic programming and other advanced strategies.

Or just egg his house. 
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: Tapeworm on June 21, 2016, 06:22:27 PM
Bunch of confrontational neighbors in this thread more worried about soothing a bruised ego than being left in peace.

This is not a man-up scenario.  This is a distance yourself from the loony who is still going to be there tomorrow and have him accept the distancing scenario.  Kicking off a feud is nothing but stupid.  The mission is to be left the fuck alone, not to create a battle so you can win it.

That said, it depends what they're doing.  How exactly are they accosting you?  Are they knocking on your door?  Some line drawing may be called for.  Politely.  "I'm very busy here so please don't disturb me by knocking on my door in the future.  No I don't have any time to talk.  Have a nice day."  That's better than being the roid ragey gymrat who screamed bloody murder at the sweet old couple, which is how everyone will view it if you lose your shit.  And better than petty retaliation like knocking on their door in return.  Ignore when you can.  Shoo when you must.

I strive for a nodding acquaintanceship with neighbors.  Good morning.  Good afternoon.  Good day to you then.  I don't want to know your name or your story.

calling our house to complain that an interior light was left on during the night and it kept her awake because she could see it on (this is not a flood light, this is a lamp, fyi-inside my own house.

There's your answer.  "Yes, that would be a lamp in my house.  I'm very busy here so please don't call again.  Thanks.  Bye bye now."

Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: Dave D on June 21, 2016, 06:30:19 PM
calling our house to complain that an interior light was left on during the night and it kept her awake because she could see it on (this is not a flood light, this is a lamp, fyi-inside my own house.

Bro you won't win with people like this. They have severe and deep rooted control issues. Nothing you do will satisfy them, if you realize this fact you can plan accordingly.

Being anti confrontational can sucks but the good news is that they're older ( I think I read this) and basically powerless. This couple is a good way to start being confrontational in a non agressive manner .

 They perceive your kindness and youth as a weakness, remind them it's not. You're an adult and you will be treated with respect. If they call or complain again kindly suggest they buy curtains or shades as its very disturbing to you that they'd be looking into your windows at night. 

I'd leave the lamp on until they get the hint. Good luck.
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: Never1AShow on June 21, 2016, 06:31:34 PM
Have a friend dress up in a dark suit and knock on their door pretending to do a background check on you for a very prestigious government position that requires a re-up of your security clearance.  Have him say, I can't tell you exactly what the position is, but you should feel very happy and safe to have a guy like that as your neighbor.  He also could probe them for any dirt on you.
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: K-1 on June 21, 2016, 06:34:37 PM
thanks for the advice, but how do u overcome the fear of confrontation? 

Sweep the leg!

No Mercy!

Do you have a problem with that?
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: Wiggs on June 21, 2016, 07:07:54 PM
Or just egg his house. 

 ;D
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: spiro on June 21, 2016, 07:19:31 PM
I have similar issues about confrontation I don't enjoy it. But you are in the right these people sound like assholes You aren't doing anything to purposely bother these people. They are harassing you. When you are in the right it will give you more courage. Don't think about what you are going to say. The more spontaneous the better you will do.
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: Marty Champions on June 21, 2016, 07:38:59 PM
just found out my new neighbors are absolute ass holes. the kind who bitch about anything and everything and thrive off of it. they want it their way, on everything. rude, confrontational people. retired, bizy bodies who want control of the neighbor hood. just bullies.

my deamnor is very beta and uber respectful conscientious  (like too much) in public, so i shy from confrontation at almost all costs. that is my problem as i try to "man up" in the face of this issue.

as im sitting her debating what to say to neighbors, for example, if i put something on the my side of the yard, they dont like, and so i sit here wanting to think of what im going to say back...i have this rushing, almost crippling anxiety/brain fog. i can hear my pulse, and just feel so bottled up and repressed, but at the same time annoyed with myself that im even feeling that way just THINKING of what i would say/do in a situation. juts crippling nervousness. when confronted with "travis u cant do that, im going to call the city and take u to court", i like freeze up with panic. im not quick on my feet to begin with, but when confronted with confrontation i almost short circuit.

how do i channel this? any experiences with how to be a real man, and relaxingly troll a neighbor who hates you? i would love to just laugh and smile and wave as he yells or complains. but im so nervous it would feel fake.

times like these i wish i was a sociopath
your aggrivated as fuck thinking the "right" or perfect thing to say
i drink to come up with genious shit because you cant deal with dumbasses and assholes sober because its more challenging when sober
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: Marty Champions on June 21, 2016, 07:41:34 PM
Just fucking man up and speak your mind. What the fuck is wrong with you.

Your father would probably slap you across the head and shake his head at you. You're going to let some old fucks tell you what to do? You fucking low test or something?
doesnt work speaking my natural sober mind id say fuck u u dumb guy bitch i want to kick ur ass
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: calfzilla on June 21, 2016, 07:44:06 PM
calling our house to complain that an interior light was left on during the night and it kept her awake because she could see it on (this is not a flood light, this is a lamp, fyi-inside my own house.

Post pics of her tits ASAP
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: drkaje on June 21, 2016, 07:47:24 PM
Just fucking man up and speak your mind. What the fuck is wrong with you.

Your father would probably slap you across the head and shake his head at you. You're going to let some old fucks tell you what to do? You fucking low test or something?

You're a 1%er, FroZZoR.

Only 1% of advice given on this site is worth a fuck.
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: Marty Champions on June 21, 2016, 07:54:08 PM
trust me i know how to deal with lowlifes who act like they got nothin 2 lose

get a easy buzz go over say what r u doin boy? then apoligize ask for some beer then say naw im kidden i got one more 4 u n 12 more for me if he wont drink leave him alone

if he accepts drinking you proceed to intimidate him indirectly in a friendly way, ask if they need help with anything theyll say no . tell them u used 2 have the state record in in this n that ask if they need hel p be repetive and drunk but be robust hyper and strong people respect that tell him your the man bro , ask are you alright? do u want a beer? ask him for 2 dollars for beer

hell either be your friend or he will avoid you.....win win
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: Walter Sobchak on June 21, 2016, 08:40:16 PM
just found out my new neighbors are absolute ass holes. the kind who bitch about anything and everything and thrive off of it. they want it their way, on everything. rude, confrontational people. retired, bizy bodies who want control of the neighbor hood. just bullies.

my deamnor is very beta and uber respectful conscientious  (like too much) in public, so i shy from confrontation at almost all costs. that is my problem as i try to "man up" in the face of this issue.

as im sitting her debating what to say to neighbors, for example, if i put something on the my side of the yard, they dont like, and so i sit here wanting to think of what im going to say back...i have this rushing, almost crippling anxiety/brain fog. i can hear my pulse, and just feel so bottled up and repressed, but at the same time annoyed with myself that im even feeling that way just THINKING of what i would say/do in a situation. juts crippling nervousness. when confronted with "travis u cant do that, im going to call the city and take u to court", i like freeze up with panic. im not quick on my feet to begin with, but when confronted with confrontation i almost short circuit.

how do i channel this? any experiences with how to be a real man, and relaxingly troll a neighbor who hates you? i would love to just laugh and smile and wave as he yells or complains. but im so nervous it would feel fake.

times like these i wish i was a sociopath

Really?

Let's start with question #1....why do they have your phone number?

Then we will move on to discussing why you're such a pussy
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: The Abdominal Snoman on June 21, 2016, 09:16:52 PM
thanks for the advice, but how do u overcome the fear of confrontation? 

Put up a vinyl fence you can't see through at the cities max height. Than plant 20 foot tall evergreens...And never allow him in your yard. If and when he bitches about the evergreens, call the police and have them come out. Tell the cops he threatened you if you didn't take them down. Just say he said-you better take them down or else. Tell them that your wife or girl saw him do a slashing motion across his neck. But you didn't see it. Tell them you want a restraining order against him .

(http://www.greatgardenplants.com/files/GGPimages/product/300/THUEM2Q.jpg)
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: The Abdominal Snoman on June 21, 2016, 09:20:05 PM
Consider the use of Hegelian Dialectic tactics, false flags, neurolinguistic programming and other advanced strategies.

lolz
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: The Abdominal Snoman on June 21, 2016, 09:29:06 PM
Send him this letter

I don't take kindly to disrespect. not on the internet, not in person, not in a grocery store parking lot, not in like at walmart, not in a restaurant, not at the beach, not at the dry cleaners... anywhere.

ppl talk about the 'pussyfication' of America, yet they run their mouths thinking they won't get slapped and get their arm broken in front of their friends.

spent many yrs in a place where if you talk slick and say something out of line to somebody, you know that when you say it, you better be ready for what happens. most ppl here in the 'real world', aren't ready for what could happen.. and run their mouths like the world is a make believe cartoon. despite wearing nice slacks, polished shoes and a nice shirt, the guy you steal that parking spot from at the grocery store and proceed to flip off, may have just gotten out of prison and will have no problem identifying they bitch in you and proceed to teach you a lesson by taking you down to the ground and kicking out your teeth before you even know what happened.

the guy who's willing to go the furthest, wins. if you're not willing to go all the way, it's best you keep your mouth shut and move on, and make it to the next day.


                                                             ---Your Neighbor
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: BIG DUB on June 21, 2016, 09:31:11 PM
Put up a vinyl fence you can't see through at the cities max height. Than plant 20 foot tall evergreens...And never allow him in your yard. If and when he bitches about the evergreens, call the police and have them come out. Tell the cops he threatened you if you didn't take them down. Just say he said-you better take them down or else. Tell them that your wife or girl saw him do a slashing motion across his neck. But you didn't see it. Tell them you want a restraining order against him .

(http://www.greatgardenplants.com/files/GGPimages/product/300/THUEM2Q.jpg)

 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: calfzilla on June 21, 2016, 09:47:34 PM
You already know how Craig Titus would handle this.
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: Bossa on June 21, 2016, 10:11:59 PM
When it comes to neighbours the old adage "familiarity breeds contempt" is exactly why I leave it at a brief hello.

As for dealing with people like this you just need to learn to tell someone to fuck off (while not actually saying that) with a big smile on your face, maybe while feigning concern.  for example to the call you could have said "oh is your insomnia age related? I understand its difficult to sleep through the night when you are older I remember my grandparents going through this.  Perhaps you should look into melatonin."  then say you have to go and end the conversation.  That way you have disregarded their ridiculousness and pointed out that maybe they are the one with the problem.  Or you could just laugh it off and make a comment about your hydro bill.  Unfortunately because they are your neighbours you will have to be somewhat cordial...at first.  Just do not apologize if you haven't done anything wrong like so many people do today.

If that doesn't work then I would just come out and say you don't have time for their nonsense....something to the effect are you calling me because I left a light on in my own home?  I hear home depot has a sale on blinds right now have a nice day.

Failing that just leave a burning bag of dog shit on their door step billy Madison style  ;D
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: Master Blaster on June 21, 2016, 10:24:04 PM
Just do whatever they say.
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: Wiggs on June 21, 2016, 10:26:19 PM
Just do whatever they say.

lol
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: Master Blaster on June 21, 2016, 10:33:26 PM
lol

 ;D
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: C-BuZz on June 21, 2016, 10:44:00 PM
Could not imagine living life as such a beta. Must really suck to be you.

Seriously, what's the worst he's going to do if you tell him to go fuck himself? Hopefully punch you in the face for being such a beta.
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: Kim Jong Bob on June 21, 2016, 11:50:00 PM
thanks for the advice, but how do u overcome the fear of confrontation?  
just ignore them when they bitch about something if you have a fear of confrpntation.... People like that love when ptherxpeople react to there complaints they live for that so you have only two choiches ignore them or do like i did to my mothers neighbour who was like that - threaten to kill them
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: Henda on June 22, 2016, 12:00:47 AM
Once a neighbour who was an absolute jerk had reported us for some shit that I can't remember so one Saturday night I pissed through their letterbox, a day or so later his lass wrote a letter to our lass wanting to put everything behind them. Later it flared up again and had to threaten him with battering him, and from then on made a point of loudly mocking him when I was in the back garden. I know I sound like a wanker here but this fat fuck got in wor lasses face shouting when I was at work one day and was just downright creepy
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: Kwon on June 22, 2016, 01:13:53 AM
calling our house to complain that an interior light was left on during the night and it kept her awake because she could see it on (this is not a flood light, this is a lamp, fyi-inside my own house.

Then tell them/her to get darker curtains or use sleepingpills.

Or just build a HUGE fence so they can't see in on your side
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: irishdave on June 22, 2016, 02:03:01 AM
Do they have a dog? I like dogs but if you want to scare them into backing off - quickest and easiest solution is to cut off the dog's head and leave it at the back door
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: DroppingPlates on June 22, 2016, 02:11:29 AM
thanks for the advice, but how do u overcome the fear of confrontation? 

By not giving a piss about the possible outcome. Just stay calm, don't hold your breath, keep your head up, look them straight into the eyes and tell them respectfully what's on your mind without a sea words.
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: Army of One on June 22, 2016, 02:40:24 AM
Post this question up on Jason Blahas YouTube, and ask him to make a video on it, I'd like to see his thoughts.
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: d0nny2600 on June 22, 2016, 04:02:42 AM
Giving out about a light on inside your house?

Go out and purchase many disco lights. Put these on all night in the rooms you aren't sleeping in. Repeat this until they get the picture.

If that fails go shit on their lawn.
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: Thong Maniac on June 22, 2016, 05:06:02 AM
When it comes to neighbours the old adage "familiarity breeds contempt" is exactly why I leave it at a brief hello.

As for dealing with people like this you just need to learn to tell someone to fuck off (while not actually saying that) with a big smile on your face, maybe while feigning concern.  for example to the call you could have said "oh is your insomnia age related? I understand its difficult to sleep through the night when you are older I remember my grandparents going through this.  Perhaps you should look into melatonin."  then say you have to go and end the conversation.  That way you have disregarded their ridiculousness and pointed out that maybe they are the one with the problem.  Or you could just laugh it off and make a comment about your hydro bill.  Unfortunately because they are your neighbours you will have to be somewhat cordial...at first.  Just do not apologize if you haven't done anything wrong like so many people do today.

If that doesn't work then I would just come out and say you don't have time for their nonsense....something to the effect are you calling me because I left a light on in my own home?  I hear home depot has a sale on blinds right now have a nice day.

Failing that just leave a burning bag of dog shit on their door step billy Madison style  ;D

i think this is likely the best apporach. have you had to do this as well? i will be respectful as possible but just like u said it "hey Will, im busy now, feel free to write me a letter addressing your concerns" with a kind of passive aggressiveness approach. right?


as for Donny, yeah that sounds good in practice with the disco light but wouldnt that just create more rage to the point where their life mission becomes to find shit wrong with you or against code, and press those issues from a more legal standpoint?

other getbiggers, thanks for the reply here this has definitely been helpful to me.

i will be putting up a fence as well, which may cause even more issues and animosity unfortunately.
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: Thong Maniac on June 22, 2016, 05:10:35 AM
Bunch of confrontational neighbors in this thread more worried about soothing a bruised ego than being left in peace.

This is not a man-up scenario.  This is a distance yourself from the loony who is still going to be there tomorrow and have him accept the distancing scenario.  Kicking off a feud is nothing but stupid.  The mission is to be left the fuck alone, not to create a battle so you can win it.

That said, it depends what they're doing.  How exactly are they accosting you?  Are they knocking on your door?  Some line drawing may be called for.  Politely.  "I'm very busy here so please don't disturb me by knocking on my door in the future.  No I don't have any time to talk.  Have a nice day."  That's better than being the roid ragey gymrat who screamed bloody murder at the sweet old couple, which is how everyone will view it if you lose your shit.  And better than petty retaliation like knocking on their door in return.  Ignore when you can.  Shoo when you must.

I strive for a nodding acquaintanceship with neighbors.  Good morning.  Good afternoon.  Good day to you then.  I don't want to know your name or your story.

There's your answer.  "Yes, that would be a lamp in my house.  I'm very busy here so please don't call again.  Thanks.  Bye bye now."



thanks Tape, this sounds good to me as well
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: drkaje on June 22, 2016, 05:14:00 AM
Fences make good neighbors.

If they ask just say "I got tired of listening to you bitch" and be done with it.

Passive/aggressive is bullshit and the target usually doesn't give a fuck about you or anything else aside from getting their way.
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: Conker on June 22, 2016, 05:31:23 AM
calling our house to complain that an interior light was left on during the night and it kept her awake because she could see it on (this is not a flood light, this is a lamp, fyi-inside my own house.

start playing really loud heavy metal music late at night, when they come and complain apologise to them but explain you were abused as a child and to get to sleep you either need to leave a light on or listen to loud music. then offer them the choice of which they'd prefer.

failing that just tell them to go fk themselves.
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: R.A.M. on June 22, 2016, 06:05:07 AM
man you came to the wrong place for advice.  ;D..

I'd kidnap them and beat them with a pillow case full of door knobs.
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: Grape Ape on June 22, 2016, 06:11:09 AM
man you came to the wrong place for advice.  ;D..

I'd kidnap them and beat them with a pillow case full of door knobs.

I wouldn't fill it.  Would not leave enough pillow case to grip and be awkward to swing.   I think 1-4 door knobs would do.
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: Bossa on June 22, 2016, 06:54:37 AM
i think this is likely the best apporach. have you had to do this as well? i will be respectful as possible but just like u said it "hey Will, im busy now, feel free to write me a letter addressing your concerns" with a kind of passive aggressiveness approach. right?


as for Donny, yeah that sounds good in practice with the disco light but wouldnt that just create more rage to the point where their life mission becomes to find shit wrong with you or against code, and press those issues from a more legal standpoint?

other getbiggers, thanks for the reply here this has definitely been helpful to me.

i will be putting up a fence as well, which may cause even more issues and animosity unfortunately.

Its not passive aggressive you need to use a firm tone while not being overly rude and DO NOT get in to letters that is way too formal. It comes down to being nice until someone stops affording you the same treatment.  In this case they have obviously aggravated you so I would keep my distance, wave when you see them but the next time they call you tell them to come see you in person if there is an issue but not to waste your time with petty nonsense like an interior light that is not their concern.  

For the fence I would TELL them you are building one ahead of time and ask if they would like to pay half as that is the proper way to do it. if they say no but try to argue or give input just tell them you are letting them know it is being built and its not up for debate and walk away.  Just make sure you build it in from the property line so legally they can't say anything if it comes down to it.

Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: d0nny2600 on June 22, 2016, 06:59:16 AM

as for Donny, yeah that sounds good in practice with the disco light but wouldnt that just create more rage to the point where their life mission becomes to find shit wrong with you or against code, and press those issues from a more legal standpoint?

other getbiggers, thanks for the reply here this has definitely been helpful to me.

i will be putting up a fence as well, which may cause even more issues and animosity unfortunately.
Sorry man I wasn't really being helpful. Honestly I would have told them to fuck off.
I'm not sure what outcome you want? You can either abide by their rules and let them dictate what you do or tell them to fuck off and worry about something else.
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: spiro on June 22, 2016, 12:26:14 PM
In this day and age can you really tell people to fuck off? Seems like it would be violating one of their "civil rights" everyone's such a pussy now a days.

Like others said he firm if you aren't doing anything wrong say sorry I can't help you with that and tell them not to disturb you. These people sound like fuck tards.
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: funk51 on June 22, 2016, 12:34:38 PM
just found out my new neighbors are absolute ass holes. the kind who bitch about anything and everything and thrive off of it. they want it their way, on everything. rude, confrontational people. retired, bizy bodies who want control of the neighbor hood. just bullies.

my deamnor is very beta and uber respectful conscientious  (like too much) in public, so i shy from confrontation at almost all costs. that is my problem as i try to "man up" in the face of this issue.

as im sitting her debating what to say to neighbors, for example, if i put something on the my side of the yard, they dont like, and so i sit here wanting to think of what im going to say back...i have this rushing, almost crippling anxiety/brain fog. i can hear my pulse, and just feel so bottled up and repressed, but at the same time annoyed with myself that im even feeling that way just THINKING of what i would say/do in a situation. juts crippling nervousness. when confronted with "travis u cant do that, im going to call the city and take u to court", i like freeze up with panic. im not quick on my feet to begin with, but when confronted with confrontation i almost short circuit.

how do i channel this? any experiences with how to be a real man, and relaxingly troll a neighbor who hates you? i would love to just laugh and smile and wave as he yells or complains. but im so nervous it would feel fake.

times like these i wish i was a sociopath
    put on a thong a hockey mask and rev up your chainsaw usually works.
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: Thong Maniac on June 22, 2016, 01:35:38 PM
In this day and age can you really tell people to fuck off? Seems like it would be violating one of their "civil rights" everyone's such a pussy now a days.

Like others said he firm if you aren't doing anything wrong say sorry I can't help you with that and tell them not to disturb you. These people sound like fuck tards.

this, i think this would really just add fuel to the fire. its probably best just to say "u done? i got things to do. bye"

this of course will piss them off too but it will make them look crazy and u sane
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: Primemuscle on June 22, 2016, 01:47:19 PM
just found out my new neighbors are absolute ass holes. the kind who bitch about anything and everything and thrive off of it. they want it their way, on everything. rude, confrontational people. retired, bizy bodies who want control of the neighbor hood. just bullies.

my deamnor is very beta and uber respectful conscientious  (like too much) in public, so i shy from confrontation at almost all costs. that is my problem as i try to "man up" in the face of this issue.

as im sitting her debating what to say to neighbors, for example, if i put something on the my side of the yard, they dont like, and so i sit here wanting to think of what im going to say back...i have this rushing, almost crippling anxiety/brain fog. i can hear my pulse, and just feel so bottled up and repressed, but at the same time annoyed with myself that im even feeling that way just THINKING of what i would say/do in a situation. juts crippling nervousness. when confronted with "travis u cant do that, im going to call the city and take u to court", i like freeze up with panic. im not quick on my feet to begin with, but when confronted with confrontation i almost short circuit.

how do i channel this? any experiences with how to be a real man, and relaxingly troll a neighbor who hates you? i would love to just laugh and smile and wave as he yells or complains. but im so nervous it would feel fake.

times like these i wish i was a sociopath

Using the example you gave about putting something on your side yard that might offend your bitchy neighbors, I offer this. If you are not violating the law or neighborhood association requirements, you should learn to be more confident. It is your property after-all. If these neighbors threaten you with police or legal action, you could either ignore their idiocy or counter with something like, "whatever suits you". I would not argue with them in any case. Not smiling or waving is fine, in fact it could escalate the situation. As I mentioned, a better tactic is to simply ignore them....that is being manly. Showing them they've upset you by responding whether verbally or visually, is just the reaction they are looking for.

The neighbor's side yard faces my back yard and thus the back of my house. He stores a variety of things there. Most of it I don't see because my fence blocks it. One day awhile back, he was attempting to hang his two kayaks vertically on a pulley system. If his plan had worked I'd be looking at a bright yellow and a red kayak out my kitchen window. Fortunately, his plan failed and they are mounted on the side of his house in a horizontally. He would not have been violating any codes or laws, which means I would need to have been very diplomatic in how I approached him if I wanted to be a good neighbor.  
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: Thong Maniac on June 22, 2016, 01:53:59 PM
Using the example you gave about putting something on your side yard that might offend your bitchy neighbors, I offer this. If you are not violating the law or neighborhood association requirements, you should learn to be more confident. It is your property after-all. If these neighbors threaten you with police or legal action, you could either ignore their idiocy or counter with something like, "whatever suits you". I would not argue with them in any case. Not smiling or waving is fine, in fact it could escalate the situation. As I mentioned, a better tactic is to simply ignore them....that is being manly. Showing them they've upset you by responding whether verbally or visually, is just the reaction they are looking for.

The neighbor's side yard faces my back yard and thus the back of my house. He stores a variety of things there. Most of it I don't see because my fence blocks it. One day awhile back, he was attempting to hang his two kayaks vertically on a pulley system. If his plan had worked I'd be looking at a bright yellow and a red kayak out my kitchen window. Fortunately, his plan failed and they are mounted on the side of his house in a horizontally. He would not have been violating any codes or laws, which means I would need to have been very diplomatic in how I approached him if I wanted to be a good neighbor.  

thanks prime, ive thought about sending them an official state signed notice to not trespass sent directly to their house as my sister did this a while back to someone she didnt want bothering her anymore. this is a good way to put contact with someone at a quick end, because you have cause to then call cops even for them speaking to you (so ive heard)

how about "thanks for voicing your opinion, feel free to contact my lawyer for these types of inquiries or complaints". i dont have a lawyer really but it might deflect and give them the idea its not ok to complain about shit involving my property.

so the canoe issue you mention, its not illegal, so why bother complaining? i mean who cares really
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: El Diablo Blanco on June 22, 2016, 01:58:28 PM
had neighbors like this.  You react to their idiocy and they have the Sheriff on speed dial.  I can go into lots of details of small things I did to drive them out, some possibly illegal but they were too dumb to figure it out.  First thing is become friends.  They'll never suspect you when little things bad start happening to them.
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: deadz on June 22, 2016, 02:01:15 PM
Neighbors are best seen not heard!
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: Primemuscle on June 22, 2016, 02:01:57 PM
thanks prime, ive thought about sending them an official notice to not trespass sent directly to their house as my sister did this a while back to someone she didnt want bothering her anymore.

how about "thanks for voicing your opinion, feel free to contact my lawyer for these types of inquiries or complaints". i dont have a lawyer really but it might deflect and give them the idea its not ok to complain about shit involving my property.

so the canoe issue you mention, its not illegal, so why bother complaining? i mean who cares really

I like your suggestion about how to deal with your neighbor. It's polite and to the point. You do have a lawyer if you have homeowners or renters insurance. This protects you should they file a lawsuit, frivolous or not.

I would not 'complain' to my neighbor if it jeopardized our longstanding good neighborly relationship. He's very congenial. I would have mentioned to him that if he could figure out another way to store the kayaks,  which was less visually intrusive, I'd be very appreciative.
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: Thong Maniac on June 22, 2016, 02:02:41 PM
had neighbors like this.  You react to their idiocy and they have the Sheriff on speed dial.  I can go into lots of details of small things I did to drive them out, some possibly illegal but they were too dumb to figure it out.  First thing is become friends.  They'll never suspect you when little things bad start happening to them.

do share. friends, not likely. they already basically made it clear they are bullies with too much time to complain
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: Primemuscle on June 22, 2016, 02:02:56 PM
Neighbors are best seen not heard!

And I thought it was children.....at least that's what my mom told me.  ;D
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: zedzedeleven on June 22, 2016, 02:11:48 PM
In this day and age can you really tell people to fuck off? Seems like it would be violating one of their "civil rights" everyone's such a pussy now a days.

Like others said he firm if you aren't doing anything wrong say sorry I can't help you with that and tell them not to disturb you. These people sound like fuck tards.
Yeah you can tell them to fuck off. I did it today in a way. Over the years I have said " good morning" to a guy that lives in a nearby street and rarely got much of a reply. Greeted him again this afternoon and as usual got blanked. Something snapped. "Well fuck you then!" I shouted. Stopped him in his tracks and as I walked by he was spluttering something, couldn`t quite catch it. Last time I ever do him the courtesy of acknowledging his existence.
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: El Diablo Blanco on June 22, 2016, 02:17:58 PM
do share. friends, not likely. they already basically made it clear they are bullies with too much time to complain

First thing is what kind of home is it?  
Are they apt neighbors or are they single family residences?  
Do they have a green lawn they maintain?  
Do they have a pool.  
Do they spend a lot of time keeping their home looking nice.  
Do they have kids, pets or family living there?  
Can you see all sides of the house from different vantage points without someone else spotting you?  The overall layout, streets behind the home, alley ways etc...  These all matter.  
Do they have their breaker box on the outside of the home like we do in Cali?  
Can you access their water meter or gas meter?  
Do they ever leave the house unattended?  
Do they stay up late at night?  
Do they work, do you know where, what do they do?  
Do they call the police often?  
Do they complain when someone parks in front of their home?  
Can you buy an old broken down car that is still running from a junkyard, cash, no paperwork?  
Do they own cars?  
Where do they park them?  
Do you know how to make disguises, if not learn on youtube.

A lot of info gathering is important up front before even trying to plan or do something or you'll most likely get caught doing it.
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: Taffin on June 22, 2016, 02:30:12 PM
Thread just got x1000 more interesting with El Diablo Bateman's input here...  :D

First thing is what kind of home is it?  
Are they apt neighbors or are they single family residences?  
Do they have a green lawn they maintain?  
Do they have a pool.  
Do they spend a lot of time keeping their home looking nice.  
Do they have kids, pets or family living there?  
Can you see all sides of the house from different vantage points without someone else spotting you?  The overall layout, streets behind the home, alley ways etc...  These all matter.  
Do they have their breaker box on the outside of the home like we do in Cali?  
Can you access their water meter or gas meter?  
Do they ever leave the house unattended?  
Do they stay up late at night?  
Do they work, do you know where, what do they do?  
Do they call the police often?  
Do they complain when someone parks in front of their home?  
Can you buy an old broken down car that is still running from a junkyard, cash, no paperwork?  
Do they own cars?  
Where do they park them?  
Do you know how to make disguises, if not learn on youtube.

A lot of info gathering is important up front before even trying to plan or do something or you'll most likely get caught doing it.
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: Thong Maniac on July 01, 2016, 04:10:25 AM
had my first "run in" with one of them last night. i kind of melted a bit, raised my voice and argued. i should have just ignored and said i "dont have time, sorry", or "contact my lawyer if you have a problem".

still got the "rush" of panic/fast rate rate and dry mouth when it was going down. annoying that i cant handle myself better
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: mazrim on July 01, 2016, 05:50:50 AM


The neighbor's side yard faces my back yard and thus the back of my house. He stores a variety of things there. Most of it I don't see because my fence blocks it. One day awhile back, he was attempting to hang his two kayaks vertically on a pulley system. If his plan had worked I'd be looking at a bright yellow and a red kayak out my kitchen window. Fortunately, his plan failed and they are mounted on the side of his house in a horizontally. He would not have been violating any codes or laws, which means I would need to have been very diplomatic in how I approached him if I wanted to be a good neighbor.  
Wow, you sound like his neighbors if that is a big deal to you.
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: Primemuscle on July 01, 2016, 02:04:45 PM
Wow, you sound like his neighbors if that is a big deal to you.

It is not a big deal. He mounted them horizontally so they aren't that visible.

In my neighborhood, parking one's RV along side their home is not permitted unless it fits inside the garage where it cannot be seen. There is a large parking lot where people rent space for their RVs.
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: anabolichalo on July 01, 2016, 02:06:26 PM
Overcome fear of confrontation. Let them talk but never show your hand, act accordingly and use all available resources. In that order.
u mean hide your hand holding a shank?

or u mean dont show your intentions and or advantages?
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: Princess L on July 01, 2016, 04:34:47 PM
When it comes to neighbours the old adage "familiarity breeds contempt" is exactly why I leave it at a brief hello.

As for dealing with people like this you just need to learn to tell someone to fuck off (while not actually saying that) with a big smile on your face, maybe while feigning concern.  for example to the call you could have said "oh is your insomnia age related? I understand its difficult to sleep through the night when you are older I remember my grandparents going through this.  Perhaps you should look into melatonin."  then say you have to go and end the conversation.  That way you have disregarded their ridiculousness and pointed out that maybe they are the one with the problem.  Or you could just laugh it off and make a comment about your hydro bill.  Unfortunately because they are your neighbours you will have to be somewhat cordial...at first.  Just do not apologize if you haven't done anything wrong like so many people do today.

If that doesn't work then I would just come out and say you don't have time for their nonsense....something to the effect are you calling me because I left a light on in my own home?  I hear home depot has a sale on blinds right now have a nice day.

Failing that just leave a burning bag of dog shit on their door step billy Madison style  ;D

This is the best real life advice offered here.
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: Disgusted on July 01, 2016, 07:21:37 PM
Fuck this. I had problems with mine. One day my neighbor was outside with his dad. I walked up to his property and called him everything but a white boy and then started on his dad. I dared him to come out of his yard he started to and thought twice. The whole block heard me but sometimes you just gotta say fuck it. We now get along decent and nod to each other.  ;)
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: a_pupil on July 01, 2016, 08:21:01 PM
If you get jittery try propranolol. This will calm your nerves and steady your hand so you can enforce the Texan castle doctrine
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: Disgusted on July 01, 2016, 08:28:12 PM
If you get jittery try propranolol. This will calm your nerves and steady your hand so you can enforce the Texan castle doctrine


I've heard about this stuff I actually have some. So does it really work?
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: rocket on July 02, 2016, 02:36:23 AM
These people are a godsend for you.

They are doing you a favour.  They are desensitising you to confrontation by forcing you to experience it.  Every time they pull this shit, simply do what you can until you're finally doing what you want to do.

It won't take long.  I mean, you might shit your pants jumping out of a plane the first time, but on the tenth, you'll just be enjoying the ride.  That is what being human is about, really - adapting.

In the interim, if you want to feel safer, go box or do MMA and learn how to protect yourself in the event of violence, which will definitely translate to an increased calm (or increased skill in confrontation).  It isn't about threatening someone or anything like that, not about being macho, it's just about reinforcement that confidence in physical confrontation will give you.
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: anabolichalo on July 02, 2016, 12:23:16 PM
These people are a godsend for you.

They are doing you a favour.  They are desensitising you to confrontation by forcing you to experience it.  Every time they pull this shit, simply do what you can until you're finally doing what you want to do.

It won't take long.  I mean, you might shit your pants jumping out of a plane the first time, but on the tenth, you'll just be enjoying the ride.  That is what being human is about, really - adapting.

In the interim, if you want to feel safer, go box or do MMA and learn how to protect yourself in the event of violence, which will definitely translate to an increased calm (or increased skill in confrontation).  It isn't about threatening someone or anything like that, not about being macho, it's just about reinforcement that confidence in physical confrontation will give you.
for most people, martial arts is about fear management, and quite the opposite of danger management, since their acquired skills do not even begin to match the inflated sense of self confidence they gain from practicing martial arts
Title: Re: Question about handling emotions during altercations or confrontations getBIGger
Post by: a_pupil on July 02, 2016, 01:19:30 PM

I've heard about this stuff I actually have some. So does it really work?

it is the cure for stage fright. It deffo works. I used be shit at presentations after a bad experience and this literally took away all of the problems I had.

the long acting one (don't remember the compound name) isn't as potent as propronolol

I've heard archers use it as well.