a warning.. please read.

[SmoofCat]

one of my best buddiesm he was 255 on stage, around 280-290 offseason, huge guy, and goodlooking as fuck ( no homo). one of the best kids i ever knew... he started with the whole tren,HGH test, and alcohol,then added oxy, and eventually cocaine

i was at the club 3-4 years ago, he came in, he was the life of the party, we all knew eachother, almost half the club knew us, so we hung out and shit, then he asked me if i wanted to bounce to another club with him, at that time i was talking to hot ass blonde chick who was there with her friends, so i couldnt just grab her hand and tke her with me, she wanted to be with her friends a bit longer... anyways, my boy went to the other club, my phone was on silent,i talked to the girl for the rest of the night and about 30 minutes later i took her back to my place and told her friends i'll drop her off in the morning...

next morning i wake up, i will never forget this, i took my phone out of my pocket and saw 37 missed calls and 59 new text messages... i do get quite a few texts and calls, but those #s were ver high, so i knew something was wrong... lol im kinda choking up now so i'll just get to the point without explaining more, my boy had collapsed on the stairs walking up to the other club... at the age of 27 ..RIP

Yeah this is terrible . It's Sad this thread has so many stories now, and it's hard to read but it's so necessary.

[Overload]

problem nowadays is that people just read the BENIFITS of the drugs, and they dont worry about the risk of running several drugs together... There are people that will say that tonight im going to :

1)Drink alcohol to get a good buzz and feel good
2) smoke a joint to become mellow
3) but i also want to party and have have energy, so i'll do some coke
4) oh, i wanna look good too, so im already doing tren or any AAS
5) fuck, why am i a lil anxious, let me take some xanax or lorazopam
6) fuck, its 8am the next day and i need to sleep so i can hit the gym later, let me take some sleeping pills

Excellent post man.

I know so many people just like this from back in my party days. I used to party until the sun came up all the time and we used to throw massive beach parties back when i was in college. The 6 steps you just mentioned seem to be very true and i have literally watched people go through the exact motions you just mentioned. I always had control over my drug use, but i had a lot of friends who would "create" a reason to use certain drugs on a daily basis.

Smoof, that was some real speech man and i truly appreciate you sharing all of that with us. This is the type of help a lot of guys need and sometimes reading posts from other people can hit home or help wake people up from issues in their lives. I had a very good friend growing up who went through a similar childhood as you did, his dad beat the shit out of him with a massive leather belt at least 3-5 times a day just because he was an angry drunk fuck. When we got to be 15 and i started driving we waited until his old man passed out and tied the old fuck the his sleeping chair and i drove my friend Andy to his grandparent's house about 1 hour away. The crazy part was that his old man didn't even look for him after he ran away, he just kept drinking and died in his sleep about 3 years later. Unfortunately my friend got into heavy drugs by the age of 21 and died after drinking too much and mixing it with xanax, he passed out and never woke up. I still remember his sister calling me to tell me about it, i was blown away. I still have a picture of the two of us sitting on the tailgate to my truck from when we were 16. I keep this picture framed in my study room and i look at it almost every day. He died 13 years ago next month.

I'm very lucky to have a good upbringing and good family. I grew up on a farm and was mending fences at 5 years old, but it taught me the value of hard work. Hell my grandfather was farming cotton and chunking 50 pound hay bails into his truck at 94 years old. When you are brought up tough, you are tough for life. I used to hate the fact that i did adult chores as a child but once i got older i realized it made me a much better person. My father taught me the most valuable lesson at a young age...hard work pays off.

Thanks for sharing all of this info guys, I'm sure it helped many people. It really had me thinking about my past for sure.

[SmoofCat]

Excellent post man.

I know so many people just like this from back in my party days. I used to party until the sun came up all the time and we used to throw massive beach parties back when i was in college. The 6 steps you just mentioned seem to be very true and i have literally watched people go through the exact motions you just mentioned. I always had control over my drug use, but i had a lot of friends who would "create" a reason to use certain drugs on a daily basis.

Smoof, that was some real speech man and i truly appreciate you sharing all of that with us. This is the type of help a lot of guys need and sometimes reading posts from other people can hit home or help wake people up from issues in their lives. I had a very good friend growing up who went through a similar childhood as you did, his dad beat the shit out of him with a massive leather belt at least 3-5 times a day just because he was an angry drunk fuck. When we got to be 15 and i started driving we waited until his old man passed out and tied the old fuck the his sleeping chair and i drove my friend Andy to his grandparent's house about 1 hour away. The crazy part was that his old man didn't even look for him after he ran away, he just kept drinking and died in his sleep about 3 years later. Unfortunately my friend got into heavy drugs by the age of 21 and died after drinking too much and mixing it with xanax, he passed out and never woke up. I still remember his sister calling me to tell me about it, i was blown away. I still have a picture of the two of us sitting on the tailgate to my truck from when we were 16. I keep this picture framed in my study room and i look at it almost every day. He died 13 years ago next month.

I'm very lucky to have a good upbringing and good family. I grew up on a farm and was mending fences at 5 years old, but it taught me the value of hard work. Hell my grandfather was farming cotton and chunking 50 pound hay bails into his truck at 94 years old. When you are brought up tough, you are tough for life. I used to hate the fact that i did adult chores as a child but once i got older i realized it made me a much better person. My father taught me the most valuable lesson at a young age...hard work pays off.

Thanks for sharing all of this info guys, I'm sure it helped many people. It really had me thinking about my past for sure.

Thank you. I don't know why I exposed myself so much in this thread. Part of it is I am experiencing some emotions I have never felt before knowing I will be a father. It made me think about Getting physically abused by a 240 lb man until I was 13. He had gone off gear and shrunk down to 200 lbs and he had a shoulder surgery. He started strangling me, and I grabbed his bottle of stoli off the table and smashed it over his head and then just beat him until I knew he wasn't getting up again.

He never hit me again and was dead within 2 years of an overdose.

Been flooded with feelings about how I will never lay a hand on my kid and raise him right and never touch another drop of alcohol or drug again in my life. Because I am a physically mirror image of my father. Every feature is the same , except he had 10-15 lbs of fat and water from a poor diet and alcohol, making him 240 and me 225.

And I fear that deep inside me there may be something bad, the  same evil that was in him. And I know alcohol and narcotics with the constant use of grams of hormones (he basically only used deca d bol test, not that this matters) brought it out of him. Because at 25 he was a graduate student and by all accounts a great guy, like me. Something terrible happened when I was born, induced by stress, which led to the drugs.

And I am in fear of the precedent repeating itself if I am not aware and conscious of my flaws as a human .

[Overload]

Thank you. I don't know why I exposed myself so much in this thread. Part of it is I am experiencing some emotions I have never felt before knowing I will be a father. It made me think about Getting physically abused by a 240 lb man until I was 13. He had gone off gear and shrunk down to 200 lbs and he had a shoulder surgery. He started strangling me, and I grabbed his bottle of stoli off the table and smashed it over his head and then just beat him until I knew he wasn't getting up again.

He never hit me again and was dead within 2 years of an overdose.

Been flooded with feelings about how I will never lay a hand on my kid and raise him right and never touch another drop of alcohol or drug again in my life. Because I am a physically mirror image of my father. Every feature is the same , except he had 10-15 lbs of fat and water from a poor diet and alcohol, making him 240 and me 225.

And I fear that deep inside me there may be something bad, the  same evil that was in him. And I know alcohol and narcotics with the constant use of grams of hormones (he basically only used deca d bol test, not that this matters) brought it out of him. Because at 25 he was a graduate student and by all accounts a great guy, like me. Something terrible happened when I was born, induced by stress, which led to the drugs.

And I am in fear of the precedent repeating itself if I am not aware and conscious of my flaws as a human .

I think we have different emotions once we realize we are bringing another life into the Earth. I don't have kids, but all of my friends who have kids started getting more strict about their lives when they knew they had a baby on the way. Many of my friends straightened up and quit going out to party once they had a bun in the oven.

I think you are right, sometimes people are driven to insanity and we never will know what drives men to do this to their children. I cannot fathom laying a hand on a young child in an abusive fashion. The part that i cannot understand and it's perhaps the most troublesome part of all this, is that "something" had to change in these people's minds to drive them to do such things to their children. My mother is a Psychology Professor and this is a subject that drives her nuts. She always said that after she had a child she was so protective of the child that she barely let anyone else touch us as infants. Yet somewhere deep inside, there is an evil that cannot be explained. THAT is what scares me...there must be something that led to the drugs and booze, after the drugs and booze addiction kicks in, men tend to get mean.

I'm glad you are speaking about this and i wish you the best of luck with your child. At least you are aware of these traits and can watch out for any strange feelings. My mother once showed me an article that was based on a bunch of Central American women and these women were dumping their babies in a river to protect them from evil...weird.

[Marlo Stanfield]

I'm going to get a little personal here, and I don't like exposing myself like this. But I received some amazing PMs from some guys this weekend, a huge number thanking me for this thread, telling me how it reached them, and I spent a huge amount of time responding especially to the guys who told me they needed help. I hope a few of them really opened up to their loved ones this weekend about their narcotic addictions and that will be the first step towards recovery.

I don't know much about roid rage. I know that tren ace can affect my thought process when I introduce it at too high of a dosage when I have been off it for a while. There is however no outward manifestation of the tren induce convolution of my thought process. It is all in my head. And I actually have notice that I smile and laugh a lot on high doses of trenbolone. The drug makes me feel extremely confident in myself, and I always walk around with my head way up, and I find myself slightly more engaging and personable when talking to people who I don't particularly want to talk to (girlfriend's friends, certain work/school associates, etc'). I never have had one roid rage incident in my life.

Having said all that, I used to get locked in a pitch black basement for up to 24 hours with no food or water or human contact, or anything by a man who used hormones, alcohol and cocaine. I would get beat so severely I wound up in the hospital on 5 occasions, and on a 6th, when I truly should have gone, I ended up getting stitched up by my neighbor who was an EMS, because child services had me on a watch list. I had my arm placed on the edge of a table and held down, and then cleanly broken in two by a swing of a broken piece of table, which he had coincidentally smashed the week before.

am I mad? he's dead. he was 230 lbs and appeared to be strong,and he was walking dead for 10 years before he collapsed in the grocery store.

so i guess you can say i learned early. and there is no misinformation here in this thread. you mix narcotics and alcohol with hormones and terrible things happen.

no variable of roid rage. we are not discussing roid rage. roid rage does not exist. however mix narcotics and hormones and something else happens, something called drug induced psychosis, and it is not your normal narcotic induced psychosis. something very unique happens when you mix 200 mg tren ace with a gram of cocaine or some oxy and- but not necessarily- some booze, and you don't die. you are a fucking psychopath as the walking dead in this state. and don't try to get into semantics with me on this issue!!!! i am not defending "roid rage". i do not believe in it! however, narcotics+hormones=  UNIQUE drug induced psychosis!!

Thanks for sharing man... alot of people on this board have been through alot...
here is a link to another thread ( no im not whoring my thread), it has some great posts in it:

http://www.getbig.com/boards/index.php?topic=416442.0

[hematocritter]

I just went through this thread again and wanted to give my thoughts on the roid rage thing.
I think that people who experience 'roid rage' are already angry people to begin with, and the
hormones just make it worse. In my opinion, most drugs(hormones included) just magnify whatever
traits you already have.
I have never experienced roid rage in the ten years that I have been using AAS.
When I was young and stupid, I would be on hormones while also using GHB and cocaine. Not once
did I act aggressive, or do anything other than try to have a good time. I can't stand conflict, and
I don't enjoy being angry.... so even on drugs, that part of my personality remains the same.
I avoided fights even when someone was trying to instigate something, and I just had no interest
in being 'that guy'. Every time I saw a roided out douche when I was out partying, I just laughed
at their bulging eyes and hardcore stare, while they tried to intimidate every male in the room.
If you are a frustrated and angry person while sober and off hormones, you will probably have
those issues magnified if you use recs or hormones.
Just my opinion.

[DK II]

I just went through this thread again and wanted to give my thoughts on the roid rage thing.
I think that people who experience 'roid rage' are already angry people to begin with, and the
hormones just make it worse. In my opinion, most drugs(hormones included) just magnify whatever
traits you already have.
I have never experienced roid rage in the ten years that I have been using AAS.
When I was young and stupid, I would be on hormones while also using GHB and cocaine. Not once
did I act aggressive, or do anything other than try to have a good time. I can't stand conflict, and
I don't enjoy being angry.... so even on drugs, that part of my personality remains the same.
I avoided fights even when someone was trying to instigate something, and I just had no interest
in being 'that guy'. Every time I saw a roided out douche when I was out partying, I just laughed
at their bulging eyes and hardcore stare, while they tried to intimidate every male in the room.
If you are a frustrated and angry person while sober and off hormones, you will probably have
those issues magnified if you use recs or hormones.
Just my opinion.

I totally agree with this.

If you have issues without steroids, you will have bigger issues with steroids. Throw some other drugs in the mix for an already emotionally unstable person, and you have a ticking time bomb waiting to explode any time.

[Marlo Stanfield]

i did the combination for a long time. Since i started with hgh i stopped doing coke, ofcourse gains are 10 times better!! Now i only drink once a month, try to stick to beer and no hard liqoirs... bacardi and testostrone is a killer combo, you'll def get into a fight.. hahaha

edit: add some tren and you're done;) haha

See... i dont agree with this

Its all the MENTALITY of the person.  If i tell you to NOT think about a pink elephant fucking a yellow pig, what are you thinking right now about ? a pink elephant fucking a yellow pig !

There were times when i would go out with my boys and for some fucked up reason we were so high on life, my buddies would say " lets go out tonight and fuck some people up", and guess what ?9 out of 10 nights we would end up in fights those nights...and the other one night would be that the other dudes were too scared to do anything

There were some nights that 3-4 of us will go out and say "we're gonna fuck some bitches tonight", and guess what, we would leave there witha  group of girls and all get laid


My point is, its all about the personality and the mentality of the person.

alot of people have heard about roid rage, so their mentality is " im gonna shoot 200mg of tren ace EOD and become a fucking psycho at the gym and my oh my if someone starts to get on my nerves, i will fuck them up"... and guess what? 3 days later some twink asks to "jump in" a set with you and you unleash on him

its all in the MIND !!!

Ever had a panic attack? you can pretty much lay there in you bed, and jack up your heart rate to 170 bpm ! just by shit that goes in your mind... you'd have to be sprinting 2+ mins at 10+mph speed to get that heart rate

   so when you say "edit: add some tren and you're done;) haha", that shows your mentality. I can see folks like you that took tren, and are at a bar, and they are like " well i took tren, and i had a drink, oh boy, its gonna happen, shit is gonna go down any minute".. so without knowing it, your asking for it. Then some poor guy accidently bumps shoulders with you, and you smash a bottle in his head... when i say YOU i dont mean you personally, i have buddies just like that..

[falco]

I don't denny the power of sugestion but at least in my case i have some personality changes with some specific steroid/steroid combinations.
Doctors say that the worst drug to increase violence is alcohol: I know this but when i drink to much i just laugh and laugh and never ever i had been agressive on it. With some steroids i can't say the same.

[DK II]

The Problem in modern society is, that it is expected of you to be an A-player at all times in every field.
If you're out to party and you're tired from work, you're a bore. If you have a shitty day at work, people start wondering if you don't take your job serious enough, you will get problem s with the wife if you are too exhausted or don't earn enough, and overall you need to look great, be in shape and so on.

Nobody ever says anything about your drug use if it helps you to reach expectations or overperform. They rather drive you deeper into it .

[Arnold jr]

If there ever was a scam, it's roid rage. If there was ever an idea that affects people by the power of suggestion to the ultimate degree, it's once again roid rage.

There's two things:

*Roid rage is used by anti-steroid people as a scare tactic...despite supporting evidence.

*Roid rage is claimed by performance enhancers because the idea has been beaten into their brain...however, that doesn't make it real.

Of course, some like to say "well, maybe it's not real for me but I know what I take XYZ steroid I have a problem." Really, do you? Based on what we know about steroids from this aspect, that's like saying "well, water may quench your thirst but I know when i drink it I get dehydrated." Or if we use a drug "well, Tylenol may help your headache but it gives me bigger longer lasting erections." That's all fine and well, but obviously impossible and no one would make claims like that, but that's exactly the kind of claims people make when it comes to roid rage.

Impossible cannot exist just because you believe hard enough.

[tbombz]

The Problem in modern society is, that it is expected of you to be an A-player at all times in every field.
If you're out to party and you're tired from work, you're a bore. If you have a shitty day at work, people start wondering if you don't take your job serious enough, you will get problem s with the wife if you are too exhausted or don't earn enough, and overall you need to look great, be in shape and so on.

Nobody ever says anything about your drug use if it helps you to reach expectations or overperform. They rather drive you deeper into it .

yes.

alot of people are very tempermental and sensitive about fucking with their mood(s)/the mood/energy of an atmosphere or environment.. bar scene, the club, professional environment, family, ect. everything is compartmentalized in a sense and if you bring one into the other its as if your intruding on their space so to speak.

we have our funny rules , do this at that time, that at the other time, and that other thing at another time. right now were doing this. you cant be doing that. be happy ! be sad ! dont think that, think this. dont move that way, move this way. talk this way. dress this way.

its called societal norms !


we are supposed to be happy at parties because happy people party for the reason of getting more happy, everyones trying to be happy and your weighin it down with your sorrows !        fucking crybaby

[SmoofCat]

If there ever was a scam, it's roid rage. If there was ever an idea that affects people by the power of suggestion to the ultimate degree, it's once again roid rage.

There's two things:

*Roid rage is used by anti-steroid people as a scare tactic...despite supporting evidence.

*Roid rage is claimed by performance enhancers because the idea has been beaten into their brain...however, that doesn't make it real.

Of course, some like to say "well, maybe it's not real for me but I know what I take XYZ steroid I have a problem." Really, do you? Based on what we know about steroids from this aspect, that's like saying "well, water may quench your thirst but I know when i drink it I get dehydrated." Or if we use a drug "well, Tylenol may help your headache but it gives me bigger longer lasting erections." That's all fine and well, but obviously impossible and no one would make claims like that, but that's exactly the kind of claims people make when it comes to roid rage.

Impossible cannot exist just because you believe hard enough.

1. every post is interesting on this last page. very deep thoughts, very interesting concepts brought up.

2. i want to address this topic again, of roid rage. the only people who get "roid rage" are people who used to lose their temper before they started using steroids. i have never seen a good person ruined by steroids. i have never even seen a personality really change, other than a gain of confidence. the only time i have seen a person ruined is by narcotics. and i have seen plenty of bodybuilders go down this path, because narcotics have a unique interaction with hormones. i don't even care to see a study backing or disputing my point. i have never been more certain of something in my life.

[Arnold jr]

1. every post is interesting on this last page. very deep thoughts, very interesting concepts brought up.

2. i want to address this topic again, of roid rage. the only people who get "roid rage" are people who used to lose their temper before they started using steroids. i have never seen a good person ruined by steroids. i have never even seen a personality really change, other than a gain of confidence. the only time i have seen a person ruined is by narcotics. and i have seen plenty of bodybuilders go down this path, because narcotics have a unique interaction with hormones. i don't even care to see a study backing or disputing my point. i have never been more certain of something in my life.

I agree, but when it comes to what you said here:
"the only people who get "roid rage" are people who used to lose their temper before they started using steroids"
I still wouldn't call that roid rage.

Those people are already assholes. Yes, steroids can increase aggression and if you're an asshole and you use steroids you might be a more aggressive asshole...but the steroids did not change your personality. They did not create the anger or desire for violent behavior or outburst.

I think you'd agree with this...I'm stating it the way I did for others.

[SmoofCat]

I agree, but when it comes to what you said here:
"the only people who get "roid rage" are people who used to lose their temper before they started using steroids"
I still wouldn't call that roid rage.

Those people are already assholes. Yes, steroids can increase aggression and if you're an asshole and you use steroids you might be a more aggressive asshole...but the steroids did not change your personality. They did not create the anger or desire for violent behavior or outburst.

I think you'd agree with this...I'm stating it the way I did for others.

totally agreed.

but add in narcotics, and even a very good person who has never had an issue with temper or violence once in their life can fall into some very weird behavior.

[Arnold jr]

totally agreed.

but add in narcotics, and even a very good person who has never had an issue with temper or violence once in their life can fall into some very weird behavior.

Yep, that's true. But it's true with or without steroids. An exgirlfriend of mine, she was as normal, calm and as sweet as can be...she got hooked on roxies and oxy...turned her into a lunatic and caused some major problems in my life.

[Spidey]

Great thread man.
I can't tell you much about rec drugs because i never smoke even a cigarette or touched alcohol in my life but i see what it does to my friends. You sometimes say that a 20yo bodybuilder looks like he's 40 right? Well i have friends that never trained and never did AAS are about my age (27) and look like 50 and when you bring the subject up they get defensive and say it's only this and only that, i just use it for this and that and i look at their faces all fucked up, aged like hell all out of shape and i feel sorry for them.

You might find this funny but my friends who train with me at the gym and ask for hook ups i only give it to them if they stop drinking at least while they're on. Some of them agree and at least while i'm with them they don't drink and feel kinda embarassed if someone rats them out if they slip when i'm not around.