Author Topic: ladies please explain this chick to me  (Read 17400 times)

Wanocki

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ladies please explain this chick to me
« on: March 14, 2007, 10:41:15 PM »
Three years ago there was this girl at my college who showed a ton of interest in me.  I haven't seen her since then but just found her on Myspace.  She now lives out of state.  This girl made me feel like I was some sort of celebrity the way she would act around me.  Every time she would look at me it was either with a big smile, pupils dilated, or like a deer caught in headlights.  I never smiled at her once even though I really liked her.  We didn't know each other but we often saw each other in the hallways. 

One time I was sitting by myself in the hallways reading my notes when all of a sudden I noticed her and her girl friends peaking at me.  It was one of those moments where you just felt like you were being watched but i wasn't sure.  Then all of a sudden she walks by from a bit of a distance but it looked like she was smiling in my direction.  The professor for her class wasn't there yet so she shouts out "lets go down here."  Her and her girlfriends come over and she then jumped up on to a wall about 6 - 8 feet away from where I was sitting.  I was very shy at the time and I was in a relationship and wasn't thinking about making a move.  After about a minute of her being there I look in her direction and she's glaring at me.  I looked away quickly being the wuss that I am.  A few minutes went by and the teacher finally showed up and they left.  She didn't look in my direction as much after that but a few times we were in the same area she did things that made me think she was trying to make me jealous like tell other guys they are sexy.  The very last time I saw her she was staring at me like she was sad and confused.

I found her on myspace while browsing other profiles just recently.  I haven't seen her in 3 years but I decided to send her a message telling her that I wanted to talk to her then but I had a girlfriend at the time.  I apologized for ignoring her.  I said many nice things about her too and they weren't about her body or anything.  She is completely ignoring my message.  No response at all.  I thought she would've been happy to talk to me and happy that I apologized and let her know that I liked her then. Why is she ignoring me?  Is she ignoring me because I ignored her and now she's getting even?  Does she just not like me now for whatever reason?  Did I come off as creepy by finding her on myspace?

please any serious feedback will be appreciated


Wanocki

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Re: ladies please explain this chick to me
« Reply #1 on: March 14, 2007, 10:49:35 PM »
it's been 3 weeks since I sent her the message so it's not like she's away or anything plus I can see she has logged in just about every day since then

tu_holmes

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Re: ladies please explain this chick to me
« Reply #2 on: March 15, 2007, 12:10:30 AM »
Um... you've moved on and so has she... Next.

Playboy

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Re: ladies please explain this chick to me
« Reply #3 on: March 15, 2007, 05:58:11 AM »
Three years ago there was this girl at my college who showed a ton of interest in me.  I haven't seen her since then but just found her on Myspace.  She now lives out of state.  This girl made me feel like I was some sort of celebrity the way she would act around me.  Every time she would look at me it was either with a big smile, pupils dilated, or like a deer caught in headlights.  I never smiled at her once even though I really liked her.  We didn't know each other but we often saw each other in the hallways. 

One time I was sitting by myself in the hallways reading my notes when all of a sudden I noticed her and her girl friends peaking at me.  It was one of those moments where you just felt like you were being watched but i wasn't sure.  Then all of a sudden she walks by from a bit of a distance but it looked like she was smiling in my direction.  The professor for her class wasn't there yet so she shouts out "lets go down here."  Her and her girlfriends come over and she then jumped up on to a wall about 6 - 8 feet away from where I was sitting.  I was very shy at the time and I was in a relationship and wasn't thinking about making a move.  After about a minute of her being there I look in her direction and she's glaring at me.  I looked away quickly being the wuss that I am.  A few minutes went by and the teacher finally showed up and they left.  She didn't look in my direction as much after that but a few times we were in the same area she did things that made me think she was trying to make me jealous like tell other guys they are sexy.  The very last time I saw her she was staring at me like she was sad and confused.

I found her on myspace while browsing other profiles just recently.  I haven't seen her in 3 years but I decided to send her a message telling her that I wanted to talk to her then but I had a girlfriend at the time.  I apologized for ignoring her.  I said many nice things about her too and they weren't about her body or anything.  She is completely ignoring my message.  No response at all.  I thought she would've been happy to talk to me and happy that I apologized and let her know that I liked her then. Why is she ignoring me?  Is she ignoring me because I ignored her and now she's getting even?  Does she just not like me now for whatever reason?  Did I come off as creepy by finding her on myspace?

please any serious feedback will be appreciated


The answer is cut and dry. You snubbed her off back in college when she liked you so she moved on. It was all bad timing. You had a GF so you respectfully couldn't make a move. Sometimes its just like that. Accept it and move on. Surely after snubbing her off you can't expect her to come running back to you. She probably lost interest and is seeing other guys. Move on. There are lots of girls out there.

PB

michael arvilla

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Re: ladies please explain this chick to me
« Reply #4 on: March 15, 2007, 09:55:59 AM »
Three years ago there was this girl at my college who showed a ton of interest in me.  I haven't seen her since then but just found her on Myspace.  She now lives out of state.  This girl made me feel like I was some sort of celebrity the way she would act around me.  Every time she would look at me it was either with a big smile, pupils dilated, or like a deer caught in headlights.  I never smiled at her once even though I really liked her.  We didn't know each other but we often saw each other in the hallways. 

One time I was sitting by myself in the hallways reading my notes when all of a sudden I noticed her and her girl friends peaking at me.  It was one of those moments where you just felt like you were being watched but i wasn't sure.  Then all of a sudden she walks by from a bit of a distance but it looked like she was smiling in my direction.  The professor for her class wasn't there yet so she shouts out "lets go down here."  Her and her girlfriends come over and she then jumped up on to a wall about 6 - 8 feet away from where I was sitting.  I was very shy at the time and I was in a relationship and wasn't thinking about making a move.  After about a minute of her being there I look in her direction and she's glaring at me.  I looked away quickly being the wuss that I am.  A few minutes went by and the teacher finally showed up and they left.  She didn't look in my direction as much after that but a few times we were in the same area she did things that made me think she was trying to make me jealous like tell other guys they are sexy.  The very last time I saw her she was staring at me like she was sad and confused.

I found her on myspace while browsing other profiles just recently.  I haven't seen her in 3 years but I decided to send her a message telling her that I wanted to talk to her then but I had a girlfriend at the time.  I apologized for ignoring her.  I said many nice things about her too and they weren't about her body or anything.  She is completely ignoring my message.  No response at all.  I thought she would've been happy to talk to me and happy that I apologized and let her know that I liked her then. Why is she ignoring me?  Is she ignoring me because I ignored her and now she's getting even?  Does she just not like me now for whatever reason?  Did I come off as creepy by finding her on myspace?

please any serious feedback will be appreciated





   YOU BLEW IT PAL!!!.....................THE BEST THING THAT WAS EVER GOING TO HAPPEN TO YOU WAS HER
     (just kidding  ;D   )

knny187

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Re: ladies please explain this chick to me
« Reply #5 on: March 15, 2007, 10:16:31 AM »
Although you may have felt that you had her in that moment back then....because in never came to be....it never was.  Make sense?

Guys are alot more acceptable to say a cordial "hello" back if the same exact role was reversed.  Girls tend to simply "move on" especially being 3 years.  It may seem difficult to reason..but just accept it.  Girls tend to express feelings & emotions differently than guys & they also "pack them up" alot differently than guys when it's been a few years.  Also, your message (to you) may have been a simple "hey hello how's it been?"....but go back & reread it word for word.  Most likely, you may had said a little too much feelings about the past.  If she's moved on & even has a life with someone, she may look at it as being a weird "stalking" type situation.

There's a very small chance she's nervous to reply...but I place this in less than a 1% chance.



BTW...small advice....by stating she's been logging on every day for the last 3 weeks shows that she really has no interest.  You contacted her....you made the move.  The ball is in her court...she's not picking it up to play.  Game over.

Chalk it up as a lesson in life.

Wanocki

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Re: ladies please explain this chick to me
« Reply #6 on: March 15, 2007, 10:36:01 AM »
Um... you've moved on and so has she... Next.

I didn't try to get a date with her or anything with her being in another state now.  I just said hello and apologized for ignoring her back then.  Why can't she atleast say something back?

Wanocki

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Re: ladies please explain this chick to me
« Reply #7 on: March 15, 2007, 10:37:30 AM »
The answer is cut and dry. You snubbed her off back in college when she liked you so she moved on. It was all bad timing. You had a GF so you respectfully couldn't make a move. Sometimes its just like that. Accept it and move on. Surely after snubbing her off you can't expect her to come running back to you. She probably lost interest and is seeing other guys. Move on. There are lots of girls out there.

PB

That's the thing my intention by sending her the message wasn't to get with her.  She lives in another state.  Why doesn't she have the decency to atleast say hello?

Wanocki

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Re: ladies please explain this chick to me
« Reply #8 on: March 15, 2007, 10:38:18 AM »


   YOU BLEW IT PAL!!!.....................THE BEST THING THAT WAS EVER GOING TO HAPPEN TO YOU WAS HER
     (just kidding  ;D   )

that is a possibility and it tears me up inside >:( :'(

Wanocki

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Re: ladies please explain this chick to me
« Reply #9 on: March 15, 2007, 10:48:07 AM »
Although you may have felt that you had her in that moment back then....because in never came to be....it never was.  Make sense?

Guys are alot more acceptable to say a cordial "hello" back if the same exact role was reversed.  Girls tend to simply "move on" especially being 3 years.  It may seem difficult to reason..but just accept it.  Girls tend to express feelings & emotions differently than guys & they also "pack them up" alot differently than guys when it's been a few years.  Also, your message (to you) may have been a simple "hey hello how's it been?"....but go back & reread it word for word.  Most likely, you may had said a little too much feelings about the past.  If she's moved on & even has a life with someone, she may look at it as being a weird "stalking" type situation.

There's a very small chance she's nervous to reply...but I place this in less than a 1% chance.



BTW...small advice....by stating she's been logging on every day for the last 3 weeks shows that she really has no interest.  You contacted her....you made the move.  The ball is in her court...she's not picking it up to play.  Game over.

Chalk it up as a lesson in life.


It says single in her profile but yeah i'm sure she's been with quite a few guys since then.  Back in college she was always the type that had tons of guys talking to her.  I was the guy that never flirted with her at all yet she showed tons of interest in me.  I thought she would've wanted to say something back.  About the stalker thing yeah I was definitly worried about that but I felt I had nothing to lose by sending a message. Her profile is still public so I wouldn't think I creeped her out that much.

Also two days after I sent the message i noticed one of her guy friends wrote on her wall saying "you texted me needing advice about such and such yesterday, I'll talk to you on the PM."  Being that it was two days after I sent the message I think maybe she asked for advice about me.  That guy had several wall comments on her page and they now are all gone.  Does that mean they are no longer myspace friends?

I'm so confused, when I sent the message I had no idea how she would respond but I never thought she wouldn't respond at all.

thanks to all who had some insight

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Re: ladies please explain this chick to me
« Reply #10 on: March 15, 2007, 10:52:54 AM »
That's the thing my intention by sending her the message wasn't to get with her.  She lives in another state.  Why doesn't she have the decency to atleast say hello?
Because either she's currently with someone else or you pissed her off by sunbbing her off in college that she wants nothing to do with you.

PB

Wanocki

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Re: ladies please explain this chick to me
« Reply #11 on: March 15, 2007, 10:55:45 AM »
Because either she's currently with someone else or you pissed her off by sunbbing her off in college that she wants nothing to do with you.

PB

It says single in her profile.  I apologized, I explained that i had a girlfriend and didn't feel right about talking to other attractive girls.  Why does she have to hold a grudge?  I would rather her respond back and call me an ugly loser than ignore me altogether.

Playboy

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Re: ladies please explain this chick to me
« Reply #12 on: March 15, 2007, 11:25:00 AM »
It says single in her profile.  I apologized, I explained that i had a girlfriend and didn't feel right about talking to other attractive girls.  Why does she have to hold a grudge?  I would rather her respond back and call me an ugly loser than ignore me altogether.
Regardless, she might still be dating someone and she hasn't updated her profile. If she really wanted to contact you, believe me she would. Just move on.

PB

knny187

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Re: ladies please explain this chick to me
« Reply #13 on: March 15, 2007, 11:28:32 AM »
It says single in her profile but yeah i'm sure she's been with quite a few guys since then.  Back in college she was always the type that had tons of guys talking to her.  I was the guy that never flirted with her at all yet she showed tons of interest in me.  I thought she would've wanted to say something back.  About the stalker thing yeah I was definitly worried about that but I felt I had nothing to lose by sending a message. Her profile is still public so I wouldn't think I creeped her out that much.

Also two days after I sent the message i noticed one of her guy friends wrote on her wall saying "you texted me needing advice about such and such yesterday, I'll talk to you on the PM."  Being that it was two days after I sent the message I think maybe she asked for advice about me.  That guy had several wall comments on her page and they now are all gone.  Does that mean they are no longer myspace friends?

I'm so confused, when I sent the message I had no idea how she would respond but I never thought she wouldn't respond at all.

thanks to all who had some insight

Honestly...I'm not surprised at all she didn't respond.

It's one thing if you 'felt' she liked you...it's another if you actually had feelings with her.  Since you never took the time to figure that out back then, you'll never know.  Since you were in a relationship back then..it's understandable.

Just move on.  If she wants to respond...she will.

Heck...whats the chance she has no clue who you even are?

Wanocki

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Re: ladies please explain this chick to me
« Reply #14 on: March 15, 2007, 11:37:36 AM »
Honestly...I'm not surprised at all she didn't respond.

It's one thing if you 'felt' she liked you...it's another if you actually had feelings with her.  Since you never took the time to figure that out back then, you'll never know.  Since you were in a relationship back then..it's understandable.

Just move on.  If she wants to respond...she will.

Heck...whats the chance she has no clue who you even are?

After all the things she did she would have to be a complete nutjob to not like me back then.  The very first time she made eye contact with me she raised her eyebrows like she was saying "I like what I see."  Plus don't forget all the things I mentioned in my first post.  I don't think a girl forgets a guy that caused her to do all those things and a girl like her isn't used to getting rejected.  You always remember the ones that rejected you.  I specifcally mentioned the time where she sat on the wall in the message I sent her.  I can't imagine having a memory that bad where she would actually forget that. 


michael arvilla

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Re: ladies please explain this chick to me
« Reply #15 on: March 15, 2007, 12:21:44 PM »
Can you give us the link to her My-space page?

Butterbean

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Re: ladies please explain this chick to me
« Reply #16 on: March 15, 2007, 12:36:05 PM »
Some possibilities (some are repeats of above posts):

1)  You were mistaken that she had a crush on you.
2)  She doesn't remember you.
3)  She had a crush on you, and remembers you, but you ignoring her hurt her/made her mad enough that she wants you to feel some hurt.
4)  She was so hurt back then that she wants to forget the hurt.
5)  She is too busy to respond.
6)  She is in a relationship.
7)  She liked you then but you would not be her current "type" and she doesn't want to encourage you by responding.
8 )  She is a nutjob that you are better off not being involved with.


I'm not that familiar w/myspace, but is it possible she didn't receive your message?  If that is not a possibility, I wouldn't contact her again.  As others have stated, it's time to move on.  Do not let this occupy your brain so much.  There are literally approximately 3 billion other girls out there.  You did the right thing by apologizing....now it's up to her.  Sorry you're having a bad time right now :(  but it will pass!  :)



 
R

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Re: ladies please explain this chick to me
« Reply #17 on: March 15, 2007, 12:56:24 PM »
Can you give us the link to her My-space page?
Oh oh...your going back to the dog house if Cheri see's this :)

PB

Wanocki

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Re: ladies please explain this chick to me
« Reply #18 on: March 15, 2007, 12:57:17 PM »
Can you give us the link to her My-space page?

sorry but i'm sure soembody here would send her the link to this thread

michael arvilla

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Re: ladies please explain this chick to me
« Reply #19 on: March 15, 2007, 12:57:41 PM »
Oh oh...your going back to the dog house if Cheri see's this :)

PB


 Just trying to help you out player.................. ............ ;)

Playboy

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Re: ladies please explain this chick to me
« Reply #20 on: March 15, 2007, 01:06:57 PM »

 Just trying to help you out player.................. ............ ;)
Well you are right...less is better.

PB

Wanocki

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Re: ladies please explain this chick to me
« Reply #21 on: March 15, 2007, 01:17:16 PM »
Some possibilities (some are repeats of above posts):

1)  You were mistaken that she had a crush on you.
2)  She doesn't remember you.
3)  She had a crush on you, and remembers you, but you ignoring her hurt her/made her mad enough that she wants you to feel some hurt.
4)  She was so hurt back then that she wants to forget the hurt.
5)  She is too busy to respond.
6)  She is in a relationship.
7)  She liked you then but you would not be her current "type" and she doesn't want to encourage you by responding.
8 )  She is a nutjob that you are better off not being involved with.


I'm not that familiar w/myspace, but is it possible she didn't receive your message?  If that is not a possibility, I wouldn't contact her again.  As others have stated, it's time to move on.  Do not let this occupy your brain so much.  There are literally approximately 3 billion other girls out there.  You did the right thing by apologizing....now it's up to her.  Sorry you're having a bad time right now :(  but it will pass!  :)



 

1.) after all the things I listed how could I be mistaken? who does those things to somebody they don't like?
2.) how do you completely forget someone 3 years later when they clearly knew you existed?
3.) that's a possibility I think
4.) that's a possibility I think, remember the last time we saw each other she was staring at me looking pretty sad
5.) she logs in every day and nobody is too busy to type out a simple paragraph
6.) it says single in her profile and she's updated 3 times since I found her page
7.) I guess that's a possibility but how do you go from acting like somebody is your exact type to not liking them at    all?  See made me feel like I was Brad Pitt the way she looked at me. I've leaned out somewhat since she last saw me and everybody says I look better.  Unless she has a thing for chubby cheeks I don't know, i can't imagine anybody thinking I looked better then.
8.) I think she may be a nutjob.  Remember I said it seemed she was trying to make me jealous.  It's kind of stange how she walks right by me with another guy and she says to him "you're sexy" what a coincidence ::) and she didn't just say it she practically shouted it, also i would think a normal person would reply with some sort of response after somebody says nice things about you.  If some girl I thought was completely unattractive said the same to me on myspace I would atleast thank them and try to find something nice to say about them. 

I actually don't use myspace often either but I created another profile just to send my message to see if it worked and it did work.  The message i sent her is also in my "sent item" folder.  I know I should move on but it's easier said than done.  She honestly was one of the most physically attractive girls i've ever seen and I can't say i've seen many girls as good as her since then. I haven't had much luck with the ladies since then and not getting a simple response from her is very disappointing and confusing.  I just wanted to communicate with her that's all, she moved thousands of miles away so I didn't make it out to her like I wanted to get together with her soon.

Thanks for your input

knny187

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Re: ladies please explain this chick to me
« Reply #22 on: March 15, 2007, 01:45:49 PM »
3 years is plenty of time to forget about someone & move on.....especially for women.

I have a couple of questions.....

(a) How old are you?

(B) what kind of "SUBSTANTIAL" conversation did you share or physical contact? (other than eye contact).



The reason why I ask is that it's in my belief that most guys really have no idea what constitutes a serious "I like you" from a girl unless she clearly states it...or physically does something like kiss you.

Girls like to flirt....but I wouldn't necessarily would say that means they "like you".  Girls, just like guys like to flirt & be friendly.  I can give you some own personal experience where a girl is flirting & a friend will observe & tell me later "she really likes you".  I usually reply..."no...she's just flirting...there's a difference".  I used to know a girl that would flirt with almost every guy they come across.  I asked them why & she replied "because its fun".  "So how does a guy know when you really like them"?  She replied "oh...they will know because I'll let them know or tell them."

So what I'm trying to get to is...How do you know she really liked you?  Maybe you just misunderstood her flirting.  Since you never inquired on it (3 years ago) & she's not replying to you....I would say the answer is quite clear.  Honestly...I usually think "first" that when a girl is flirting...they're just being friendly.  It's never more that that in my mind unless something more substantial is in play.

Wanocki

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Re: ladies please explain this chick to me
« Reply #23 on: March 15, 2007, 01:59:21 PM »
3 years is plenty of time to forget about someone & move on.....especially for women.

I have a couple of questions.....

(a) How old are you?

(B) what kind of "SUBSTANTIAL" conversation did you share or physical contact? (other than eye contact).



The reason why I ask is that it's in my belief that most guys really have no idea what constitutes a serious "I like you" from a girl unless she clearly states it...or physically does something like kiss you.

Girls like to flirt....but I wouldn't necessarily would say that means they "like you".  Girls, just like guys like to flirt & be friendly.  I can give you some own personal experience where a girl is flirting & a friend will observe & tell me later "she really likes you".  I usually reply..."no...she's just flirting...there's a difference".  I used to know a girl that would flirt with almost every guy they come across.  I asked them why & she replied "because its fun".  "So how does a guy know when you really like them"?  She replied "oh...they will know because I'll let them know or tell them."

So what I'm trying to get to is...How do you know she really liked you?  Maybe you just misunderstood her flirting.  Since you never inquired on it (3 years ago) & she's not replying to you....I would say the answer is quite clear.  Honestly...I usually think "first" that when a girl is flirting...they're just being friendly.  It's never more that that in my mind unless something more substantial is in play.

Obviously she has moved on but I can't imagine her forgetting me, lets not forget she is looking at my pics on myspace.  I am 24 and we had no conversation.  Like i said this girl just couldn't seem to keep her eyes off of me.  Trust me i'm always pessimistic when a girl talks to me or look at me.  I'm not the type that thinks "she glanced my way once or twice she must like me" she did it far too often for her to not have some sort of interest.  If she wanted to just flirt with me than why didn't she say anything?  Why would she jump on to that wall?  Why would she smile at me numerous times without knowing me, even when i didn't smile at her once?  Why did she stare at me like a deer caught in headlights numerous times?  Why did she seem to try and make me jealous after I ignored her when she was on the wall?   It was after that when she would stare at me like the deer caught in headlights, she only did it once before this incident.  Why did she stare at me like she wanted to cry when she last saw me.  Also another time I didn't mention she stared at me like a tiger about to attack it's prey when I walked by her when she was sitting in the hallways one time.  That was before she would've felt rejected by me.  I never stared at her or smiled at her once, i was too insecure to do that. For her to just have been trying to get me to give her some kind of attention after all of those things she would be beyond crazy and needs serious mental help. 

Wanocki

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Re: ladies please explain this chick to me
« Reply #24 on: March 15, 2007, 02:06:16 PM »
Also if she is dumb enough to actually have forgotten me I would think that I refreshed her memory with my pics and me bringing up the time she jumped on to the wall.  How do you forget a guy snubbing you in front of your girl friends?  It was a small school with less than 2000 people.  I basically saw the same people every day and i'm sure it was the same for her.