At the end...she was just still looking to reclaim her lost faith. "Such deep longing for God… Repulsed, Empty, NO faith, NO love, NO zeal," she said. As her fame increased, her dying faith refused to return. Her smile, she said, was a mask. Fake. A Facade. "What do I labor for?!" she asked in one letter. "If there be NO God, there can be NO soul. If there be NO soul, then, Jesus, You also are NOT true."