HAHAHAHA @ Tools afraid of flying..

[Tapeworm]

Gee, thanks for convincing me to NEVER fly again. You just ruined the rest of my life and now you are......SUED!

 

"So... ya got your Last Will in order?"
"Promise me you'll look after my boy if I don't make it."
"I heard this is the last time they're gonna let this particular plane fly."

All excellent ice breakers with your new plane buddy.

[Disgusted]

Omg   

[Fatpanda]

i'm so afraid of flying that i take a holdall that contains what i call my survival pack:

clear plastic bag ( to put over my head if we crash in the atlantic ocean, it will give me valuable extra air and allow me to look for the exits)
a set of goggles to see under water
an underwater flashlight
some potatoe chips, candy bars and water (all sealed air tight)
mobile phone fully charged ( in water proof bag)

basically this all counts on the fact that we will crash in the ocean/sea.

i also have other survival packs for other situations 

yes i have issues 

however if you fail to plan you plan to fail. 

[gracie bjj]

i am terrified of flying also,i do it but not without my benzo,s

[webcake]

A lot of bitches in this thread...

[Nordic Beast]

Know how they say you're supposed to picture members of an audience naked in order to calm yourself down for public speaking?  

Next time you board a plane, just imagine what everyone in there would look like screaming and freaking out moments before impact.  Envision the people in the back crying out for help as the fuselage snaps in half and they get sucked out of the plane and fall away screaming into the inky blackness of the cold night sky.  See the polite strangers sitting next to eachother exchange a final look of terror through the liquid fire atmosphere with their precious oxygen masks melting to their charred skin, before their eyeballs boil out of their skulls and they endure their final moments in a sightless deafening world of hellish agony.

That always cheers me up.

If it doesn't work, just talk to the person next to you.  "You know, I may be the last person you'll ever see" is a pretty good opening line.

you just gave me a raging boner

[Tapeworm]

you just gave me a raging boner

Excuse me stewardess.  I'd like to change seats if possible.

[Nordic Beast]

Excuse me stewardess.  I'd like to change seats if possible.

do you know how to fly "stick"??

[spinnis]

Flew in from SAN to PDX earlier today...

I get to Alaska's counter to get first class upgrade.. nice, spot available; this should be short and sweet, hope they have spicy tomato this time, I like my bloody marrys spicy.

As I sit down and put my headset on, I notice that nervous sweating tool sitting next to me.. as we leave the tarmac, the tool starts hyper ventilating and ringing for an attendant. She shows up and he's already in full blown panic attack mode. Some old lady chimes in and says she has xanax. The tool pops one, turns around  to me and says something like: "talk to me man"... then he grabs my arm.. gayer than squatting on a lubed cucumber....

the tool survived and gave me his business card. I'm now debating if I should internetize it or not.


Discuss.

A true business man would use this opportunity to his advantage because he probably feels like he owe you something.

[Thin Lizzy]

You are on a bomb with wings when flying.  The wings are full of fuel and you have oxygen tanks above you. Basically if you crash you are fubar'd.

I just pop a couple of Zanax and im good.  

I actually enjoy the flying part. It's the crashing and bursting into flames that makes me uneasy.

[Ursus]

I saw a 16year old girl trapped under a bus yesterday in town. I still cant stop thinking about it. Poor girl died last night. Was on the news.

Some fucking Japs beside me whipped out their iphone and took a pic. I said to myself if they do it again i swear to god i am slapping one of them. Sick and disrespectful

[bigdumbbell]

I saw a 16year old girl trapped under a bus yesterday in town. I still cant stop thinking about it. Poor girl died last night. Was on the news.

Some fucking Japs beside me whipped out their iphone and took a pic. I said to myself if they do it again i swear to god i am slapping one of them. Sick and disrespectful

link ?

[spinnis]

I saw a 16year old girl trapped under a bus yesterday in town. I still cant stop thinking about it. Poor girl died last night. Was on the news.

Some fucking Japs beside me whipped out their iphone and took a pic. I said to myself if they do it again i swear to god i am slapping one of them. Sick and disrespectful

you should have slapped them right away you fucking pussy!

" I said to myself" bla bla bla bunch of excuses, you wouldnt have done nothing. I fucking hate it when people talk like that.

[The_Punisher]

Flying is fun, until the plane drops thousand of feet and suddenly Crashes......

[Meso_z]

i think this story doesnt belong here but in my last trip to canada, i was adding my last posts to getbig while waiting @ airport (just in case my plane crashed) and i saw a man walking with a cane, black sunglasses and a dog.
Myself being the idiot i am, started to sing "i wear my sunglasses at night so i can so i can" and i think the guy didnt notice, i kept looking at him and found out he wasnt looking for drugs but he was a blind man.
Fine, he walked again and i sticked to my getbig posting. 2 hours later we were called to get on the plane and for some reason, i thought "god damn i wonder if god is gonna kill me for laughing at a blind man" seriously, by then i understood i did wrong but it was already too late, no return and some nice canadian girl was inviting me to quickly go to the boarding gate.
I swear i was pretty worried, i knew god was about to make me pay, while i was heading to the airplane's gate, i realized i deserved to die, i looked for it, laughed at a blind man, very low.
At the airplane's main entrance, the lady checked my seat, told me where to seat, and i saw the airplane in flames in my mind, until i finally reached my seat and i found out, the man i made fun of him, was sitting in the middle row, with his dog on the floor, quiet, and even said hello (how? i guess he felt me).
During the whole trip, we didnt share a single word, the dog didnt move at all for 10-11 hours.
When we arrived to iran, i mean, canada, the man said goodbye.
Jesus taught me a lesson that day, and ill never laugh again at a blind man 

seems like you "practice" your internet behaviour in real life too, "benz".

[benz]

seems like you "practice" your internet behaviour in real life too, "benz".

when you never expect it, jesus will teach you who is the boss.

[The Showstoppa]

my older brother is afraid of flying...and we're in Canada.

such a fag.

well, cut the guy some slack....he is Canadian afterall...

[Complex Carbs]

fuck off anyone that knows a salut. and fuck off .

[Butterbean]

what is your experience with the airplane restrooms?  Do you time meals to avoid crapping in them?  Do they always smell bad?  or are they fairly upscale?  I haven't flown in years, and the only view I've had of them involve porn clips.

Try to avoid #2 if possible.  If you have to do anything though, try to time it so you use the restroom right before everyone else eats because inevitably someone is going to lay one after their meal.  But actually this is preferable to the person that does not lay one and rips them the rest of the flight.

[jaejonna]

flying is fun

[Rimbaud]

I hate flying but I've never freaked out. A couple Valium & a beer or two before the flight & I'm good to go. 

[chester_bbb]

Flew in from SAN to PDX earlier today...

I get to Alaska's counter to get first class upgrade.. nice, spot available; this should be short and sweet, hope they have spicy tomato this time, I like my bloody marrys spicy.

As I sit down and put my headset on, I notice that nervous sweating tool sitting next to me.. as we leave the tarmac, the tool starts hyper ventilating and ringing for an attendant. She shows up and he's already in full blown panic attack mode. Some old lady chimes in and says she has xanax. The tool pops one, turns around  to me and says something like: "talk to me man"... then he grabs my arm.. gayer than squatting on a lubed cucumber....

the tool survived and gave me his business card. I'm now debating if I should internetize it or not.


Discuss.

Did they make you buy two seats because your fatass can't fit into one?

[jaejonna]

I hate flying but I've never freaked out. A couple Valium & a beer or two before the flight & I'm good to go. 

I like flying but i always get destroyed before i take flight, so i can pass out on the plane....

the worst was when i was on the way back from spring break, i took three 'totem poles' (zanax) ....last thing i remember was jumping out the car to go into the airport (Sat night) ...then i woke up in bed at home with class that morning (Mon. morning) ...the crazy part was thinking ...damn i remember having a transfer in Atlanta and everytime i go to atl, i know i have to take a airport subway of sorts...how did i manage to swing that ? lol ....ahhhhh college.

[CalvinH]

I have no problems flying.
I get on a plane and it's like I drank a bottle of Jack and took a whole bottle of sleeping pills.It's lights out for me.
I sleep right through take off.I slept through a whole flight from Chicago to Hawaii

[JOHN MATRIX]

I have no problems flying.
I get on a plane and it's like I drank a bottle of Jack and took a whole bottle of sleeping pills.It's lights out for me.
I sleep right through take off.I slept through a whole flight from Chicago to Hawaii

if your gonna try well, stick around gonna cry? just move along, if your gonna die, your gonna die gonna die! die with your boots on