The Truth About The Van Damme/Steven Seagal Fight!

[CalvinH]

I'm not a thug either ..who was talking about THAT

see another example ( you ) of a pimple faced who talks shit but does not have one clue

Say what
I make joke,you don't get it








...and fighting is for heathens

[ironneck]

if i remember correctly van damme was a worldchamp in karate

[QuakerOats]

if i remember correctly van damme was a worldchamp in puffing penis.

[Figo]

C'mon. Chuck Norris will bitch slap them all...






When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror nothing appears. There can never be a second Chuck Norris.
  
When there's a fire, you stop, drop, and roll. When there's a Chuck Norris, you stop, drop, and die.
  
We don't know if Chuck Norris enjoys a good fight. He's never had one.
  
Chuck Norris bites the hand that feeds him?and eats their entrails.
  
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. A Chuck Norris a day kills.
  
Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.
  
When Chuck Norris wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska.
  
Chuck Norris has a vacation home on the sun.
  
Chuck Norris uses red hot lava to moisturize his skin.
  
Chuck Norris invented the apple.
  
Chuck Norris Buillt Mount Everest with a bucket and spade.
  
Chuck Norris does not age. Every birthday, it's just another year added to his existence, which sucks for you.
  
Chuck Norris does not have chest hair, he has millions of highly venomous nematocysts. You have virtually no chance of surviving the venomous sting, unless treated immediately. The pain is so excruciating and overwhelming that you would most likely go into shock and collapse a split second before getting hit in the face with a roundhouse kick.
  
Chuck Norris can chug a gallon of milk and not throw up.
  
Chuck Norris beat the Sun in a staring contest.
  
If you get roundhouse kicked in the face by Chuck Norris in your dream, you DIE!
  
Chuck Norris can have his cake AND eat it too.
  
Chuck Norris was born in a log cabin that he built with his bare hands.
  
Some people get lucky and kill two birds with one stone.  Chuck Norris once killed four birds with half a stone.  What's that?  You say there's no such thing as half a stone?  The four dead birds didn't think so either.
  
Chuck Norris CAN lick his elbow.
  
P is for Chuck Norris, as is every other letter of the alphabet.
  
Chuck Norris puts the FUN in Funeral.
  
Chuck Norris' paradise is war.
  
Chuck Norris is capable of photosynthesis.
  
Chuck Norris has never had a surprise birthday party. He can NEVER be surprised. EVER.
  
Chuck Norris does not love Raymond.
  
Chuck Norris can lick his own elbows. At the same time.
  
Chuck Norris can kick start a car.
  
Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
  
Chuck Norris wrote an autobiography....it was just a list of everyone he has killed.
  
Einstein's original Theory of Relativity was; if Chuck Norris kicks you, your relatives will feel it.
  
Bigfoot takes pictures of Chuck Norris.
  
As seen in Sidekicks, Chuck Norris can climb a rope with one hand, and one hand only.
  
Chuck Norris does not dance.  He roundhouse kicks to the beat.
  
Chuck Norris can MAKE water run uphill.
  
Chuck Norris can hold Puff Daddy down.
  
The moon is actually a comet that was once on course to hit earth... then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it into orbit.
  
Chuck Norris can strike a match on a bar of soap.
  
Chuck Norris once played Russian roulette with a fully load gun and won.
  
The only reason the color pink still exists is because Chuck Norris is color blind.
  
Chuck Norris is allowed to talk about Fight Club.
  
Chuck Norris isn't afraid of Urban Legends, he is an Urban Legend.
  
Chuck Norris once played 18 holes of golf using a 12 inch strip of rebar and a sun dried tomato. He shot a 54.
  
On the Asian market, Chuck Norris' urine is worth $400 per fluid ounce.
  
See spot. See spot run.  See spot get round house kicked in the face by Chuck Norris.
  
Niagra Falls is the result of one of Chuck's legendary cannon balls.
  
Chuck Norris sneezes electricity.
  
Chuck Norris performs colonoscopies on himself.
  
If you were killed by Chuck Norris, your tombstone would read RIP, ripped into pieces.
  
Chuck Norris' smile once brought a puppy back to life.
  
You know he jumped off the Empire State Building this one time and he only sprained his ankle.
  
Chuck Norris lost both his legs in a car accident....and still managed to walk it off.
  
Contrary to popular belief the Lottery numbers are not random. They are just the number of people Chuck Norris killed that given day.
  
Chuck norris invented the corndog.
  
The agent of Chuck Norris asked Chuck if he wanted to be in Brokeback Mountain.  Chuck Norris' agent has been missing for almost 2 years now.  Never ask Chuck Norris to be in a gay cowboy movie.
  
Chuck Norris IS RIGHT BEHIND YOU.
  
Chuck Norris understands the ending of 2001: A Space Odyssey.
  
Chuck Norris belives the hype.
  
Chuck Norris CAN in fact stop the beat.
  
When Chuck Norris crosses the street, the cars have to look both ways.
  
When Chuck Norris picks his nose, he REALLY does find Gold.
  
Chuck Norris speaks in all caps.
  
Chuck Norris delivers more male with one thrust of his pelvis than the U.S. Postal Service and the Pony Express have combined for the last 146 years.
  
Chuck Norris wasn't born with feet, just boots.
  
Chuck Norris won a pissing contest against a Russian race horse.
  
When Chuck Norris throws a boomerang, the boomerang does not return because it is scared to come back.
  
Chuck Norris floats like a butterfly and stings like a tomahawk missile. At mach 3. In the face.
  
Chuck Norris can dribble a football.
  
Chuck Norris’ IQ can be expressed simply as a sideways eight
  
Chuck Norris is a stunt double for Optimus Prime.
  
Chuck Norris was once asked to repeat himself.  The last thing that person ever heard was the wooshing sound of a roundhouse kick.
  
Chuck Norris can clap with one hand.
  
Chuck Norris had his tonsels removed with a chainsaw.
  
Chuck Norris digs graves with a shoe horn.
  

[Petrucci]

oh man, im HAVE to crack one off!!11! 

[delta9mda]

van damme would fuck seagal up

you do not know about what you are talking.

[Smokincrazy]

sorry I'm not an underachiever like you  

your mom should have used birth comtroll

Your talking about who's tough?  Please, you have no experience in being tough or knowing what or who is tough.  You would shit your pants if you even knew Chuck Zito was in the same town

[Cleanest Natural]

Your talking about who's tough?  Please, you have no experience in being tough or knowing what or who is tough.  You would shit your pants if you even knew Chuck Zito was in the same town

[Cleanest Natural]

Career

He began amateur boxing matches, with mixed results. In 1973, Zito competed in his first Golden Gloves competition, winning his first two matches but losing his third

At a motorcycle show in 1980, Zito met one of the bodyguards for actor Robert Conrad. This inspired him to start his own bodyguard service, Charlie's Angels Bodyguard Service. His bodyguard business developed slowly, until he was hired by Liza Minnelli. She recommended his services to her celebrity friends, and he quickly started making contacts throughout Hollywood. Some of those celebrities include Liza Minnelli, Sean Penn, Charlie Sheen, Mickey Rourke, Eric Roberts, Charles Bronson, Sylvester Stallone, boxer Arturo Gatti & the famous Jean-Claude Van Damme. In 1985, Zito was indicted for drug trafficking, while working for Jon Bon Jovi in Japan. He served five years in prison from 1985 to 1990.[2] After his release from prison, in 1990, Zito returned to work as a bodyguard and as a stuntman.


CHUCK ZITO CAN KICK YOUR ASS!
So Watch What You Say About Him

Chuck Zito can kick your ass. Let’s make that clear right up front.

Hell’s Angel. Ex-con. "Bodyguard to the Stars." Actor on HBO’s Oz. Golden Gloves boxer. Black belt in karate and jiu-jitsu. Movie stuntman. Pro wrestling personality. But these grand feats only detract from his primary vocation: ASS KICKER.

Fifty years ago, Chuck Zito was born to kick ass. In his life, he has kicked miles of ass. There he is on the cover of his autobiography Street Justice, poised to kick your ass. The book is filled with tales of Chuck kicking various asses—asses on the New York streets, asses in prison, asses of rival biker-gang members, and the famous asses of Hollywood stars such as Jean-Claude Van Damme. One gets the impression that there are no asses he couldn’t kick, only asses he hasn’t kicked yet. Sometimes, it’s almost conceivable that Chuck Zito could kick God’s ass.

You can try to kick Chuck Zito’s ass, but you’ll just wind up getting your ass kicked. He’ll kick your ass until you don’t even have an ass anymore.

"I’d rather kick someone’s ass than have my ass kicked," Chuck tells me via telephone as I listen respectfully, mindful that he might hunt me down and kick my ass if I misquote him. (In 1997, Zito flattened New York Daily News columnist AJ Benza with one punch after Benza misquoted him in print. Days later, Benza would write that he still had to drink with a straw.)

"I basically knock out anyone I hit with either hand," Chuck tells me. "One guy was in intensive care for three weeks—broken nose, broken jaw, punctured lung, the whole nine yards."

Chuck Zito is the Anti-Sissy. That’s all you need to know about him. There are other facets to the man, but none so compelling as his rep for kicking mucho ass. For kicking ass en masse.

Q: What is tougher than Chuck Zito?

A: Nothing. Nothing is tougher than Chuck Zito.

"Badass"—that word surfaces most often when I blurt out the name "Chuck Zito" to people.

Some typical responses:

He’s a badass.

That guy’s a badass.

Oh, you mean that badass guy?

But to dub him a "badass" does him a disservice, because it ignores all the other parts of him besides his ass that are tough.

He learned to be tough at age five in the Bronx, where he was getting routinely thrashed by Butch, the neighborhood bully. "Butch was a jerk," Zito writes in Street Justice, "but he taught me a valuable lesson: Sometimes, when you turn the other cheek, you get smacked twice."

Zito’s father, a professional boxer who lost only twelve fights in 228 bouts, began schooling young Chucky in the art of fisticuffs. Since then, Chuck estimates he’s scrapped in "over a hundred" street fights. "And I’ve never lost. Someone once split my head wide open with a champagne bottle. But I still won the fight….I don’t think I have an anger problem," Chuck says, "but I will not be abused by anyone. Every man’s responsible for his own actions…. I try to talk my way out of a fight, but sometimes you can’t. Sometimes you have to take it to the next level. [pause] A lot of times."

Chuck’s father taught him to be more than a simple palooka—he welded the idea of self-defense to a broader theme of personally administered justice. "I still believe what my father taught me: that you stand up for yourself, you do what you think is right, and you take shit from no one," Zito writes.

It is this combo of ass-kicking in the service of a personally defined moral code that makes Chuck Zito such an ironically heroic figure.

"We love our outlaws," says film director John Milius of Zito, "yet he’s also such a fine example of the old values that we used to live by: honesty, courage, and personal integrity."

"He has witnessed firsthand the best and worst of people and is an incredible judge of character of who’s telling the truth and who’s not," says Chris Sloan, a USA Network programming director. (The channel once planned a reality show with Zito presiding as a streetwise judge in small-claims cases.) "He believes people should respect one another and should be fair to one another. He has a real sense of what’s right and wrong. He doesn’t kowtow to anybody."

"He’s got this rare combination of gumption and morality that I haven’t seen before," says Jim Miller, another USA Network executive. "I don’t think I’ve met anybody who’s so strong, yet so gentle—so angry, yet so calm…."

"He has this kind of amazing innocence in that he actually trusts people at their word," says Oz creator Tom Fontana of Zito, whom he cast as Italian prison enforcer Chucky Pancamo. "He gets truly angered when someone doesn’t keep his word. It’s refreshing to meet a man so true to his own code of ethics."

When I ask Chuck to use three words to describe himself, he generously gives me seven:

Real deal

Old values


whata liarand a moron

[spinnis]

Chuck zito 

A former hells angels leader that says that Chuck Zito is one tough dude,
He posts over at MD actually,

Thats good enough for me.

[spinnis]

I actually competed in kyokushinkai fight tournaments and sparred with many good fighters in full contact and boxing ..

I'm not Badr Hari but at least I think I know what the difference is ..

we have plenty of boxers/kickboxers turned street brawlers around here as well.

they ussually turn to fighting and being " tough " cause the ring is too tough for them ..

not very talented, smart and ussually lazy with issues.

talk big but lack discipline.

 

[johnnynoname]

this is what sevatase pictures himself as around these parts lately

 

[The Showstoppa]

Too lazy to look it up, but what did Zito do jail time for?

[QuakerOats]

this is what sevatase pictures himself as around these parts lately

 

brutal 12 inch arms and tough guy glare.

[johnnynoname]

brutal 12 inch arms and tough guy glare.

remind of you of someone

ooops, nevermind

I've never made a tough guy face

[Cleanest Natural]

this is what sevatase pictures himself as around these parts lately

 

thatwas my idol

[Figo]

Too lazy to look it up, but what did Zito do jail time for?

Solicitation, and performing fellatio in a gay bar.

[Cleanest Natural]

[Cleanest Natural]

12 incharms...lol

585 lbs deadlift at 0:43 

[QuakerOats]

12 incharms...lol

585 lbs deadlift at 0:43 

hahahahaha, go sell that one to the fuccking tourists, that wasn't anywhere near 585.

[Cleanest Natural]

hahahahaha, go sell that one to the fuccking tourists, that wasn't anywhere near 585.

260 kilos ..i'm deadserious

[Bobby]

 

[The Showstoppa]

Solicitation, and performing fellatio in a gay bar.

Sounds like a getbigger to me.

[robins]

Hug was a legend. His famous kick's made him a true star. Died we to young

RIP


Feitosa resambles him nowaday's with his kick.

[Team Diver]

Okay, who has Van Damme defeated?
- Bolo, twice
- Tong Po
- Atilla
- and may other professional martial artists

Who has Seagal defeated?
- Tommy Lee Jones
- William Forsythe
- and a lot of other, epic 10 inch armed civilians (journalists, evil CEOs, jamaican junkies etc.)

HOPE THIS HELPS!!