Author Topic: Let's talk monkey strength. (Read 5708 times)

tommywishbone · « **on:** February 18, 2009, 10:46:34 PM »

All this gobbledygook about how strong primates are is rubbish. I've seen many monkeys, chimps, and gorillas in many zoos. Here's a list of what they did.

* Sat there
* Went dookie
* Ate their dookie
* Ran around in a little circle
* Got poked with a stick by a dude.

Those monkeys, chimps, and apes were all wimps.

Tombo · « **Reply #1 on:** February 18, 2009, 11:46:48 PM »

then you pick it up, its nice for 30 seconds and it eats your face off

go figure

240 is Back · « **Reply #2 on:** February 18, 2009, 11:48:41 PM »

that 911 call was frightening.

70 year old woman stabbing her pet chimp of 20 years while it peels of fthe face of her friend and proceeds to eat it. then she climbs in the car and just begs the police to get there and shoot it.

Just a horrible call. I had to stop it, coudln't finish.

TechnoViking · « **Reply #3 on:** February 18, 2009, 11:52:05 PM »

Quote from: 240 is Back on February 18, 2009, 11:48:41 PM

that 911 call was frightening.

70 year old woman stabbing her pet chimp of 20 years while it peels of fthe face of her friend and proceeds to eat it. then she climbs in the car and just begs the police to get there and shoot it.

Just a horrible call. I had to stop it, coudln't finish.

Then the chimp basically was submissive until a wanna be tuff guy cop decided to shoot him saying he was being charged...Of course that film was not released $:-\$

Emmortal · « **Reply #4 on:** February 18, 2009, 11:53:13 PM »

Chimps do the same shit in the wild to other monkeys. They'll rip the face off, testicles, hands and then share the corpse amongst the tribe. I've seen videos of them weeding out the week in their tribe, turning on their own because one wasn't pulling its weight. They just straight up ate the thing alive while it was screaming.

240 is Back · « **Reply #5 on:** February 18, 2009, 11:54:45 PM »

i'd execute the thing if i saw a woman half-eaten and an uncaged chimp standing there.

blink of an eye that thing can be 30 feet closer and at that point, charging you, you can put 5 bullets in it's body and it'll still kill you before it bleeds out.

Yes, I'd kill it the moment I had a chance. 200 pound killing machine, loose anywhere near ya = bad.

calfzilla · « **Reply #6 on:** February 18, 2009, 11:55:32 PM »

LAUGHED MY ASS OFF AT THIS THREAD TITLE!!!

MuscleMcMannus · « **Reply #7 on:** February 19, 2009, 12:02:45 AM »

As of November 2007, there were 1,300 chimpanzees housed in 10 U.S. laboratories (out of 3,000 great apes living in captivity there), either wild-caught, or acquired from circuses, animal trainers, or zoos.[38
KARMA!

Wiggs · « **Reply #8 on:** February 19, 2009, 12:29:29 AM »

No way in fucking hell a chimp is stronger than me. Gorilla yes. Chimp fuck no.

calfzilla · « **Reply #9 on:** February 19, 2009, 12:33:01 AM »

Just realized this chimp has a lot in common with Bob Sly. Both were tragically shot by police after getting tired of following "the man's" rules.

MuscleMcMannus · « **Reply #10 on:** February 19, 2009, 12:37:22 AM »

Quote from: calfzilla on February 19, 2009, 12:33:01 AM

Just realized this chimp has a lot in common with Bob Sly. Both were tragically shot by police after getting tired of following "the man's" rules.

Shit, if some old broad dressed me up, fed me ice cream, and forced me to log onto the internet and snuggle her I'd probably rip her face off too!

In all seriousness a chimp is supposedly 3x stronger than a man.

TechnoViking · « **Reply #11 on:** February 19, 2009, 12:43:37 AM »

Quote from: 240 is Back on February 18, 2009, 11:54:45 PM

i'd execute the thing if i saw a woman half-eaten and an uncaged chimp standing there.

blink of an eye that thing can be 30 feet closer and at that point, charging you, you can put 5 bullets in it's body and it'll still kill you before it bleeds out.

Yes, I'd kill it the moment I had a chance. 200 pound killing machine, loose anywhere near ya = bad.

The thing was being walked out hand and hand with two people and then it just lied down in the street...How the fuck don't you know if the woman wasn't torchering the thing or sexually abusing it?...

calfzilla · « **Reply #12 on:** February 19, 2009, 12:50:54 AM »

Quote from: TechnoViking on February 19, 2009, 12:43:37 AM

The thing was being walked out hand and hand with two people and then it just lied down in the street...How the fuck don't you know if the woman wasn't torchering the thing or sexually abusing it?...

Good point. Let's now vilify this crazy woman. Hell just having the monkey as a pet is abuse in my book.

PIP Monkey.

TechnoViking · « **Reply #13 on:** February 19, 2009, 12:54:26 AM »

Quote from: calfzilla on February 19, 2009, 12:50:54 AM

Good point. Let's now vilify this crazy woman. Hell just having the monkey as a pet is abuse in my book.

PIP Monkey.

Its a know fact that during sex acts, Chimps will fuck shit up...They go Batshit...I would almost bet the house that these two old bitch's were into some fucked up shit...Who in their right mind keeps a chimp that doesn't have the last name Beddoe first name Phildo...

mossel · « **Reply #14 on:** February 19, 2009, 12:59:23 AM »

calfzilla · « **Reply #15 on:** February 19, 2009, 01:05:17 AM »

How dare the racist media compare the brave dead chimp to Obama.

jr · « **Reply #16 on:** February 19, 2009, 01:09:13 AM »

Quote from: Emmortal on February 18, 2009, 11:53:13 PM

Chimps do the same shit in the wild to other monkeys. They'll rip the face off, testicles, hands and then share the corpse amongst the tribe. I've seen videos of them weeding out the week in their tribe, turning on their own because one wasn't pulling its weight. They just straight up ate the thing alive while it was screaming.

Yeah, I've seen that in a documentary. They are pretty savage animals.

"Dr. Maureen Martin of Kern Medical Center told KGET-TV of Bakersfield that the monkeys chewed most of Davis' face off and that he would require extensive surgery in an attempt to reattach his nose. Chealander told The Bakersfield Californian that the chimps also tore off Davis' testicles and foot."

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2005/03/04/national/main678061.shtml

MuscleMcMannus · « **Reply #17 on:** February 19, 2009, 01:16:47 AM »

Emmortal · « **Reply #18 on:** February 19, 2009, 01:18:20 AM »

Quote from: TechnoViking on February 19, 2009, 12:43:37 AM

The thing was being walked out hand and hand with two people and then it just lied down in the street...How the fuck don't you know if the woman wasn't torchering the thing or sexually abusing it?...

Reports say she fed it some Xanex before the incident and that it was also suffering from Lymes disease.

calfzilla · « **Reply #19 on:** February 19, 2009, 01:19:57 AM »

Quote from: MuscleMcMannus on February 19, 2009, 01:16:47 AM

Good god man at least properly post your youtube link. We are living in a society here.

jr · « **Reply #20 on:** February 19, 2009, 01:46:44 AM »

Quote from: calfzilla on February 19, 2009, 01:19:57 AM

Good god man at least properly post your youtube link. We are living in a society here.

Was the wife filming all that, haha good camera work.

fredrollon · « **Reply #21 on:** February 19, 2009, 01:53:52 AM »

Quote from: calfzilla on February 19, 2009, 12:33:01 AM

Just realized this chimp has a lot in common with Bob Sly. Both were tragically shot by police after getting tired of following "the man's" rules.

Nordic Beast · « **Reply #22 on:** February 19, 2009, 05:10:19 AM »

a chimp even a female would make ronnie coleman look like a baby-----------combine that strength with huge fangs and basically four hands that can grab and tear at you

no man would have a chance

spinnis · « **Reply #23 on:** February 19, 2009, 05:13:08 AM »

after tthis thread im actually scared of monkeys

MuscleMcMannus · « **Reply #24 on:** February 19, 2009, 05:25:39 AM »

Quote from: Swede! on February 19, 2009, 05:13:08 AM

after tthis thread im actually scared of monkeys

Dude pay attention.....Chimps and monkeys are two different things.

Author Topic: Let's talk monkey strength. (Read 5708 times)

spinnis