Need some really smart people to tell me what to do.

[Lynchie]

I feel like I've reached the end of my intellectual wits here with this fucking woman.

So I like her, a lot. Problem is, she is stuck in a very unhappy marriage with this real dick of a guy who I offered to gladly stomp his guts out. He treats her like shit (I know, i've been in the house when he was there and heard them argue) and she wants to leave, promises herself she will leave but can't get round doing it. She rings me daily, practically in tears that she is so unhappy, but can't bring herself to go. She does not need his money, have her own career, her own house, they don't have sex, she does not want him in the house. She have me round there, we have sex, make dinner together, watch TV, joke around as if we've been together for years, cuddle, kiss, finish each other's sentences, etc. The things you do when you're in a relationship I guess, yet, we're not.  . I want to be, but I'm afraid I'll be the rebound guy when she does leave him eventually. For some reason, women seem to love short bald assholes that treat them like shit and will actually cry herself a river when she does leave. So she says anyway. I refuse to be a rebound guy for a little dipshit like that.

At the moment, emotionally, I can walk away without having grief/sense of loss stomp my guts too badly, but I don't want to. I feel there can be something good with this woman, if only she can sort her fucking life out. She knows what she needs to do, she says so herself without me prompting her or putting any ideas in her head, yet she does not do it. Sometimes when I'm with her, he would ring and she would be all nice and charming on the phone, frustrating the hell out of me. She says she is just trying to keep the peace. The peace for what?? Does she actually intend to leave him?

She does have a lot of shit going on in her life at the moment with her family, her brother recently committed suicide, then her mom tried to kill herself over that, all sorts of nasty shit. So I can understand that there is enough drama in her life at the moment without adding the stress of divorce too. I try my very best not to pile on more shit, but for fuck sake, how long do I need to wait before it just becomes sad and me just a crutch for her to lean on??

Am I in a position to ring up and make demands at all? Tonight I wanted to see her (her period finished, so happy times again!) but asshole is at home and he wants to take her out. She's been trying on excuses the whole day but he insists on taking her out. So she's been sending me messages constantly apologising, telling me how much she wants me tonight, how much she hates being with him, but there is nothing she can do otherwise it'll be war again. What's a guy to do?

I also don't know why the fuck I post this on Getbig, but hey, there is some really smart people on here, and if they don't act like dicks most of the time, some can actually come up with pretty enlightening stuff or a new direction of thought. That is what I'm after I guess.

[QuakerOats]

you sound like a pretty tough guy.

[w8m8]

If I was you

I'd tell her I'm done and if she leaves all the drama and miserable existance behind , I'd be more than willing to see her again


but not until she's done with all of the grief

honestly , you're IMO enabling her to continue this as long as she can get away with it

I say "get away with" because she's just letting it go on and on   --> with both of you

There comes a time when everyone else's needs and wants become secondary to yours and the ones you "love"

Right now it seems like she has no intention on rocking the boat , she's "content" in a way to keep you and relish in all your attention and has you on call in case she needs you ... meanwhile ..you want to see her and her husband gets what he wants instead

that shows where her priorities are pretty clearly , since you said she doesn't need his money and it's her house

I certainly do hope that he's the one that told you they don't have sex


cuz unless you were born yesterday and don't know , she's like any other woman in that position .. telling you what you need to hear .. on top of playing on your sympathy .. I'd bet money she loves to hear how badly you want to hurt him ..


all in all .. you know all of this , which is why you're feeling like you're at the end of your rope with it all

I don't want you to think I'm minimizing how you feel for her and how well you two get on with each other , I'm just saying it doesn't mean it's a good place to stay in and all this drama will take a toll ...  in the long run it won't be forgotten either, right now you sound like she's innocent and he's an ass because you hear her "excuses" and think they can be called "reasons" .. there is no reason I can see for her to stay .. what is it accomplishing ?

truth is when you get "involved" with a married woman you gotta know in your gut if she isn't running to you , she's staying with him , even if only for a day it shows how much ( little ) "you" mean to her


I wish you well   
but I gotta add .. it's really not cool to be banging this broad and acting like a couple in the house she shares with another man

[Lynchie]

What you say make sense, but it's certainly not so easy when you're the one in the situation. I'll be gutted if I lose her because of my impatience, but on the other hand, it's been two months now, stacked with promises and very slow action. I wouldn't say she tells me what to hear, I've been around the block enough with lying women to have a good idea when I'm being fed a line. What to do.

[w8m8]

2 months later and she's going out with him instead of you 

believe me I know it sux , this puts the decision in your hands ... not an easy thing to live with when you are feeling like it means you're being impatient

I see it as eight weeks have gone by , and still he gets what he wants ? and you're feeling bad ? seems like that says she knows where you are when she's with him ... how about telling her you have a date ? I wonder how well that would go over ?

I didn't say she's "lying" , I said telling you what you need to hear so she can keep it all the same as long as possible .. it's like she's enjoying you a lot more than you're enjoying her .. and she does know what she's doing to you when she tells you how bad it is to be "stuck" in the place she's in

we all know it causes compassionate reactions and leads you to feel guilty if you don't feel bad for her .. now it feels selfish if you think about yourself

game well played ... intentionally or not

[Andy Griffin]

I feel like I've reached the end of my intellectual wits here with this fucking woman.

So I like her, a lot. Problem is, she is stuck in a very unhappy marriage with this real dick of a guy who I offered to gladly stomp his guts out. He treats her like shit (I know, i've been in the house when he was there and heard them argue) and she wants to leave, promises herself she will leave but can't get round doing it. She rings me daily, practically in tears that she is so unhappy, but can't bring herself to go. She does not need his money, have her own career, her own house, they don't have sex, she does not want him in the house. She have me round there, we have sex, make dinner together, watch TV, joke around as if we've been together for years, cuddle, kiss, finish each other's sentences, etc. The things you do when you're in a relationship I guess, yet, we're not.  . I want to be, but I'm afraid I'll be the rebound guy when she does leave him eventually. For some reason, women seem to love short bald assholes that treat them like shit and will actually cry herself a river when she does leave. So she says anyway. I refuse to be a rebound guy for a little dipshit like that.

At the moment, emotionally, I can walk away without having grief/sense of loss stomp my guts too badly, but I don't want to. I feel there can be something good with this woman, if only she can sort her fucking life out. She knows what she needs to do, she says so herself without me prompting her or putting any ideas in her head, yet she does not do it. Sometimes when I'm with her, he would ring and she would be all nice and charming on the phone, frustrating the hell out of me. She says she is just trying to keep the peace. The peace for what?? Does she actually intend to leave him?

She does have a lot of shit going on in her life at the moment with her family, her brother recently committed suicide, then her mom tried to kill herself over that, all sorts of nasty shit. So I can understand that there is enough drama in her life at the moment without adding the stress of divorce too. I try my very best not to pile on more shit, but for fuck sake, how long do I need to wait before it just becomes sad and me just a crutch for her to lean on??

Am I in a position to ring up and make demands at all? Tonight I wanted to see her (her period finished, so happy times again!) but asshole is at home and he wants to take her out. She's been trying on excuses the whole day but he insists on taking her out. So she's been sending me messages constantly apologising, telling me how much she wants me tonight, how much she hates being with him, but there is nothing she can do otherwise it'll be war again. What's a guy to do?

I also don't know why the fuck I post this on Getbig, but hey, there is some really smart people on here, and if they don't act like dicks most of the time, some can actually come up with pretty enlightening stuff or a new direction of thought. That is what I'm after I guess.

Married women are bad news...even if you're the one married to them 

Seriously...I know I sound square, but there is no justification for dating a married woman or man.  Nothing good can come from it.  I realize you can't control how you feel, but you can control what you do. 

This is getbig.com, so flame away.

[big L dawg]

captain save a ho

[Lynchie]

Just sent her a scathing message aimed for the jugular. Let's see if she gets back. To be honest, I think I've had enough. The more I think about it the more wound up I get. I'm too young to get my blood pressure up over a piece of skirt.

[Andy Griffin]

I'm too young to get my blood pressure up over a piece of skirt.

You are learning, Grasshopper. 

[w8m8]

Just sent her a scathing message aimed for the jugular. Let's see if she gets back. To be honest, I think I've had enough. The more I think about it the more wound up I get. I'm too young to get my blood pressure up over a piece of skirt.

It's a Friday night , you should be out with your mates having a good time instead of worrying about your blood pressure 

[Lynchie]

Can't, work soon. Tomorrow night I'll be having a few beverages. 

[windsor88]

you are making your own agony dude.  Get the fuck outta there.  Stop all communication now and move on.

[small guy]

I feel like I've reached the end of my intellectual wits here with this fucking woman.

So I like her, a lot. Problem is, she is stuck in a very unhappy marriage with this real dick of a guy who I offered to gladly stomp his guts out. He treats her like shit (I know, i've been in the house when he was there and heard them argue) and she wants to leave, promises herself she will leave but can't get round doing it. She rings me daily, practically in tears that she is so unhappy, but can't bring herself to go. She does not need his money, have her own career, her own house, they don't have sex, she does not want him in the house. She have me round there, we have sex, make dinner together, watch TV, joke around as if we've been together for years, cuddle, kiss, finish each other's sentences, etc. The things you do when you're in a relationship I guess, yet, we're not.  . I want to be, but I'm afraid I'll be the rebound guy when she does leave him eventually. For some reason, women seem to love short bald assholes that treat them like shit and will actually cry herself a river when she does leave. So she says anyway. I refuse to be a rebound guy for a little dipshit like that.

At the moment, emotionally, I can walk away without having grief/sense of loss stomp my guts too badly, but I don't want to. I feel there can be something good with this woman, if only she can sort her fucking life out. She knows what she needs to do, she says so herself without me prompting her or putting any ideas in her head, yet she does not do it. Sometimes when I'm with her, he would ring and she would be all nice and charming on the phone, frustrating the hell out of me. She says she is just trying to keep the peace. The peace for what?? Does she actually intend to leave him?

She does have a lot of shit going on in her life at the moment with her family, her brother recently committed suicide, then her mom tried to kill herself over that, all sorts of nasty shit. So I can understand that there is enough drama in her life at the moment without adding the stress of divorce too. I try my very best not to pile on more shit, but for fuck sake, how long do I need to wait before it just becomes sad and me just a crutch for her to lean on??

Am I in a position to ring up and make demands at all? Tonight I wanted to see her (her period finished, so happy times again!) but asshole is at home and he wants to take her out. She's been trying on excuses the whole day but he insists on taking her out. So she's been sending me messages constantly apologising, telling me how much she wants me tonight, how much she hates being with him, but there is nothing she can do otherwise it'll be war again. What's a guy to do?

I also don't know why the fuck I post this on Getbig, but hey, there is some really smart people on here, and if they don't act like dicks most of the time, some can actually come up with pretty enlightening stuff or a new direction of thought. That is what I'm after I guess.

Her mouth says she does'nt wont him but her action says that she does'nt wont you 100%! You said that ya'll have been together for over a year, wtf she could'nt have had family problems the whole time. Oh, think about this what does she tell him when your not their, it cant be that bad he's not leaveing. Also what if she did leave him, who is to say that she would'nt pull the same shit with someone else as she is doing with you! Some people just wont to have a little something on the side and the whole time it's no where as bad as she crying it is. You get someone on the side and then see how she reacts!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[tu_holmes]

You are a shitbag for messing around with a married woman.

[Lynchie]

In my weak defense, she only told me a short while ago she was married, I didn't know all along. I would NEVER have gone into this had I knew from the start.

Anyway, so she came round to my place at 6am this morning just as I got back from work and... well ... I've never heard anyone apologize like this before. The chemistry have also never been this good.
She now have an ultimatum, pick one of us by next Saturday, or I'm out. She promise to fuck him off this week and get divorce papers ready. We'll see I guess.

[Andy Griffin]

In my weak defense, she only told me a short while ago she was married, I didn't know all along. I would NEVER have gone into this had I knew from the start.

Anyway, so she came round to my place at 6am this morning just as I got back from work and... well ... I've never heard anyone apologize like this before. The chemistry have also never been this good.
She now have an ultimatum, pick one of us by next Saturday, or I'm out. She promise to fuck him off this week and get divorce papers ready. We'll see I guess.

While it is good that you wouldn't have dated her if you had known she was married, still, one has to ask, how could you not know?  I am afraid you are setting yourself up for heartache or worse by not being strong enough to walk away.

[w8m8]

is this the same girl ?

http://www.getbig.com/boards/index.php?topic=259394.0

In my weak defense, she only told me a short while ago she was married, I didn't know all along. I would NEVER have gone into this had I knew from the start.

if you didn't know from the start it shows she's deceptive and that's a character flaw that just doesn't disappear

after you found out you kept seeing her , for two reasons , the power of the pu$$ and she told you she wasn't happily married

TBH , you should have made the ultimatum the minute she told you , you didn't ... that led to her to know she had you on the hook and could keep you there

Anyway, so she came round to my place at 6am this morning just as I got back from work and... well ... I've never heard anyone apologize like this before. The chemistry have also never been this good.

yeah , I bet the chemistry was better than ever  , sorry to say this ,but that was because she knew what to do .... and she didn't do it immediatly after your scathing message ... why doesn't that tell you that she will do what she wants first .. and deal with you next ? and why is that good enough for you ?

She now have an ultimatum, pick one of us by next Saturday, or I'm out. She promise to fuck him off this week and get divorce papers ready. We'll see I guess.

You gave her a week ... ( after you nutted ) to leave another man , after she went out with him , and then came to screw you ... after a night of crying and working up some remorse ? .. ? .. ?

wow. . . no ... sorry ... there's only a weekend to make it thru until Monday when a lawyers office opens right ? She could spend it in a motel room .. and should have already gotten a room before she came to see you , more like , right after the message you sent

You should man up ... call her husband , meet someplace public and calmly tell him everything , hopefully he would tell you his side .. and most likely tell you they have had sex at least once in the last 8 weeks .. she should have NO problem with all that ... if she is being honest with you

You have a huge pair of rose colored glasses on and see her as the better of the two

in all honesty she's worse ... she came on to you .. as a married woman ... went to bed with you on the first date .. neglecting to tell you she was married

[big L dawg]

this Lynchie dude is a moron.sorry man just callin it like I see it.you deserve the drama that will soon be entering your life.

[wild willie]

plain and simple...... call it quits....... these stories NEVER end on a good note.

Find a good woman who loves you for who you are and does not keep secrets from you.

Don't make things difficult on yourself..... cut this romance off ASAP.

TALK TO A COUNSELOR IF NEED BE. Don't play with fire any longer.

IMHO

[drkaje]

w8m8,

Can't be the same girl..... "She's not like that".

[chaos]

LOL, I can't imagine any pussy that good to deal with all the drama. If she is married, you better hope her husband feels the same way about the marraige as she does.

[Lynchie]

Forgot about this thread. Yea, that ended last week. Already working on getting some new tail. I'm was gutted for about an afternoon before my best female mate let me fuck her to get over this broad. Yes, we have that type of relationship, totally dysfunctional and great. Anyway, thanks for all the various inputs, I'll let this thread die a natural death now since further discussions is pretty much pointless.
Lesson learned, these things NEVER fucking work out, Oh well 

[drkaje]

Hopefully you learned something from the situation.

[Lynchie]

Yup, when a woman looks you in the eyes and insist that she is telling the truth, she is lying.

[Original Sin]

Yup, when a woman looks you in the eyes and insist that she is telling the truth, she is lying.

I would love to try that theory on a guy but I can't get them to stop staring at my chest to even look me in the eye