soon you will figure training at home with a modest humble bench/rack and some weights barbells and dumbells is as efficient as training in a "professional gym" with "professional equipment" ... (and professional losers everywhere trying to give some sens to their life sporting ridiculous tattoos and attitudes cause of their own shortcomings)
it might even suit you more not to have to play the role of the typical gymrat with a retarded attitude anymore and just enjoy doing your thing alone with yourself in peace. Nobody cares here, its just you and...you.
weight lifting is great for health, well being and discipline , its just all the retarded (and useless/extreme) stuff known as "fitness" or "bodybuilding" or "powerlifting" surounding it that makes it suck. wether you train the bodybuilder/powerlifter/fitness fag way, your body is going to respond the same exact way and you ll have to be content with it. Being content of what you have and not wish constantly "more and more and more" with no end in sight.
It's all about lifting weights, feeling your body and enjoying it essentialy whoever you are and whatever the way you do it. Enjoying what you re doing right at the moment, and not projecting constantly yourself in the future, in a idealized ,dreamed future where you look like someone else you are not.
Its nice to come back to the basics and think about what made you enjoy the whole thing in the first place: just being here in a room and lift weights and feel your body transform itself under the influence of your will. At some point the whole idea of a transformation / results isnt even the most important thing.
Who cares "how big" you end as a result of lifting weights, what matters is how it makes you feel, not what the others think of the results. What you think of yourself being conditionned by what the others say about your physique. Enjoy yourself, lift weights. Dont do it to please other people or you'll be their prisoner. Especially considering you dont really know, what they truly think as it s constantly changing.
Tons of reasons can make you look "bigger" or "smaller" from a day to another, but what is consistant and never changes and that truly matters, is how it makes you feel to be here, in a room with weights and just lift em.
