Quickerblade's Pussy conquest (Adults Only)

[flexingtonsteele]

Hawkins, great story!

Better than anything jewhit has ever written.

[BeefMan]

Here's a more realistic story that happened to me:

i just got home from college (lived in a small town, no vagina around for hours)
the girl from the "big city" (about 30 minutes of driving through corn) was talking to me on aol instant messenger (yes, this was a few years ago).  so i'm sitting there drinking in my parents basement by myself (i graduated in december, no one was home yet).

So, she tells me she's 30 (i'm 21, this is great) and she's a waitress at a popular bar, but she's off tonight and she's drinking by herself.

So, a few minutes of talking pass by, she asks me for a picture, then sends me one. It's a miniskirt shot of her legs only.  She says "guys like you aren't interested in the rest".  Legs look decent.  Anyways, a few minutes later, she tells me she's home alone (she lives with her old man; apparently he lives upstairs and she has the downstairs part of the house) and asks me to come over.  Being a little buzzed and horny, I agree.

So I drive over there.  Since it was cold out, i brought a couple beers with to keep me warm.  45 minutes later (got lost a few times), i'm pretty drunk and at her doorstep.

I knock on the door and she answers.  Here's a brief description of her:
about 5'11", 220 lbs, mullet like hair that hasn't been washed for a few days, flannel shirt, tight stone washed jeans, gut, and yes...a moustache.  Big tits though I guess, kinda like Bob from Fight Club.

I immediately try to think of excuses to leave.  She talks to me for 30 seconds, and lures me in with a beer and a cigarette (I smoked my last few driving).

So 5, 6 beers later, she sits in my lap and starts talking to me.  I'm not really listening, just drinking, A LOT.  I must've had 20 beers by now in the last 2 hours.  She goes "what do you think of my legs?" And I go "well, you got 2 of them".  Silence.  It's obvious at this point the leg photo was not hers.

She goes "I feel kinda filthy, I'm gonna take a shower. (thank god, that hair was turning into a helmet)  Do you want to watch me shower?"

I grab 2 beers, put one each in my pocket and say "sure, fuck it".

She gets naked.  She's pasty as shit, with a pretty decent amount of stretch marks around her inner thigh (how do those happen?)  Her pussy looks like it's a member of Funkadelic (huge fro).

She's showering, i'm sitting on the toilet drinking.  She says "hey, do you like a shaved pussy?  I bet you do."  I'm thinking "yeah on an 18 year old half your size", but i say "of course".  She goes "i'm gonna shave my pussy for you, and i want you to watch".  

I go over to the living room, take a cigarette, pocket the rest of her pack, and grab 2 more beers.  Now, if you've never seen a fat chick shave her pussy, it's probably the most disgusting thing you can see on the planet.  She's sitting there, shaving, masturbating with the shower head.  I'm more and more disgusted and more and more drunk.

She finally finishes, puts on some dirty robe, and says "i'm gonna wrap my hair in a towel, it's too long so i can't blow dry it."  Obviously a sad attempt at trying to look sexy.

So at this point i'm burping up beer, and some of it's coming out my nose.  She goes "let me see your dick".  So instinctively, I whip it out.  She starts sucking on it.  It gets hard after a while.  To shorten this up, I'm fucking her.  Imagine fucking a soggy bag of flour, that's what it felt like.  I came on her fat tits (i used a condom).  She's like "let's cuddle".  I'm like "I have to go to work in the morning".  She starts crying and goes "but you're so nice, stay with me"  I go, "I'll call you tomorrow, I really have to go".

I get back in the pickup, drive outside of town, pull over and puke my fucking guts out.  Not from the drinking, but I just got a mental image of fucking her, moustache and all.  I drive home, take one of those "i just got raped" showers, and literally start to cry.  I'm drunk, got puke on me, and I'm crying.

I didn't wake up til noon the next day.  I was still pissed.  I go online to check my mail, and there she is.  "Hey, can you still walk after last night?  I rode you like a racehorse".  I just stood there, stared at the screen, called AOL and cancelled my account.

To this day, I still get a mental image of her every now and then.

P.S.  The "hottest bar in town" she worked at was fucking Red Robin.

Great story brother in iron, anymore gems like this? lmao

[Quickerblade]

Only one way to handle all of these situations.  Pull out your cock and when she gasps in delight stick it in her mouth.

you just handle it, you get up close, give them a  back rub, press ur cock against them, they know what time it is when they look that good and dressed like that

[dustin]

Fuck that was golden. I loved the last couple paragraphs hahaha

[Quickerblade]

QB,

Your move on this situation?

these girls are easy, talk about celebs and fashion and there favourite movie, fuck these young bitches are to easy.

[Quickerblade]

Fuck that was golden. I loved the last couple paragraphs hahaha

which story? hawkins hijacked my thread lol.

[dustin]

which story? hawkins hijacked my thread lol.

Original story, skipped over hawkins'. I'll read that one too.

[Devon97]

these girls are easy, talk about celebs and fashion and there favourite movie, fuck these young bitches are to easy.

QB,

How long does it take you to spot girls who are just there for the attention or to tease?

[dr.chimps]

LOL@Hawkins' story.   A++++  Will read again    

[Quickerblade]

QB,

How long does it take you to spot girls who are just there for the attention or to tease?

devon i dont generally approach girls, for example if a girl walks by me i will  say something to the effect of "hey, thats a nice bracelet, can i ask where u got that from?" wait for the answer "thats interesting cause i saw a pic of jessica alba and she was wearing the exact same one" after that its yours for the taking.

[Bobby]

lol I couldn't stop laughing great thread well written

+1 hahahahah poor fella

[Wiggs]

Quickblade's story was fucking funny especially his analysis of her sitting at the train station for hours alone and used and not worthy of the bedroom bar....hahahahahahahahah ahahhahahahahaha!!!!


Hawkins shit was on another level...That's some real shit there...It reminds me when I fucked this fat whore that looked like Krang from the Ninja Turtles....A bonafide fucking disaster and still bothers me to this day...

[Mr Nobody]

Quickblade's story was fucking funny especially his analysis of her sitting at the train station for hours alone and used and not worthy of the bedroom bar....hahahahahahahahah ahahhahahahahaha!!!!


Hawkins shit was on another level...That's some real shit there...It reminds me when I fucked this fat whore that looked like Krang from the Ninja Turtles....A bonafide fucking disaster and still bothers me to this day...

Nightmares from fat whores are the worst

[Wiggs]

Nightmares from fat whores are the worst

These bitch really was a whore, I was desprate and feeling rather niqqerish that night....She had to easily weigh 300 at 5'6...I'll tell the story later, I'm going home...

[Mr Nobody]

These bitch really was a whore, I was desprate and feeling rather niqqerish that night....She had to easily weigh 300 at 5'6...I'll tell the story later, I'm going home...

Damn Wiggs you must of been hurting that night, fat chicks give good BJ's thats about it

[Parker]

Nightmares from fat whores are the worst

Cocks don't have brains and pussies don't have faces.

[Mr Nobody]

Cocks don't have brains and pussies don't have faces.

Quote of the year Parker Just ask Stevie Wonder

[Parker]

Quote of the year Parker Just ask Stevie Wonder

Imagine if he finally regain his sight and he was in Brazil for Carnival..."Isn't she Lovely" wouldn't be the only song he'd be singing. Probably something like, "Its Hard to Hide a Hard-On"

[Mr Nobody]

Imagine if he finally regain his sight and he was in Brazil for Carnival..."Isn't she Lovely" wouldn't be the only song he'd be singing. Probably something like, "Its Hard to Hide a Hard-On"

true true

[Captain Equipoise]

With that kind of imagination he should be a ghost writer for FLEX

[Mr Nobody]

With that kind of imagination he should be a ghost writer for FLEX

[Kentucky_cowboy]

So you were willing to spend lots on an expensive room but you made a fuss over a five dollar chocolate bar, doesnt make sense man.

and yeah you used credit for the room but you had the option to get a refund so essentially you paid for the room.

Off topic but I have a friend who was dating a great girl who was long term potential and she broke up with him  because he was too cheap and  would make her pay for half even though he had more money than him and now he regrets it so be careful you guys dont lose a long term potential girl over trying to save a few bucks you never know when you might regret it.

[Captain Equipoise]

So you were willing to spend lots on an expensive room but you made a fuss over a five dollar chocolate bar, doesnt make sense man.

and yeah you used credit for the room but you had the option to get a refund so essentially you paid for the room.

Off topic but I have a friend who was dating a great girl who was long term potential and she broke up with him  because he was too cheap and  would make her pay for half even though he had more money than him and now he regrets it so be careful you guys dont lose a long term potential girl over trying to save a few bucks you never know when you might regret it.

I don't know where you live, but in these parts we call a bitch like that a 'GOLDDIGGER'
your friend should be happy he's not with her and she's scamming some other loser into buying her $2000 Louis Vuitton bags.

[Hawkins]

Thanks Wiggs and the rest of you guys.  I'm basically the other end of the spectrum of Quickerblade.  I have TONS more nightmarish stories to tell you, but I don't want to hijack this thread.

[Captain Equipoise]

Thanks Wiggs and the rest of you guys.  I'm basically the other end of the spectrum of Quickerblade.  I have TONS more nightmarish stories to tell you, but I don't want to hijack this thread.

The difference: your stories are REAL, his are complete fantasy...