Regarding Who I Was, Who I am, Why I Don't Change (no ego)(yes serious)

[Mr Nobody]

Couple of guys that don't fit into this feminized, politically correct, status-seeking society but ones that I would trust my life with as they could trust theirs with me.

So how to they make money pellius?

[pellius]

So how to they make money pellius?

The people that live there are newly released from prison and consist primarily of violent offenders. This is a program designed to ease them back into normal society. It's kind of like house arrest except you are helped with finding a job and getting into a job training program. You have to account for your time, keep certain hours and are randomly drug tested. Screw up and then it's back in the slammer.

[hazbin]

I am curious about what treatments you have had for BPD and if you think you have been helped by any. Borderlines often have depression but they are separate mental disorders. Bashing your bosses was a neat way to not have to work anymore and get paid by the government!! 

like a reverse 'Fight Club' technique for paid vacation. more effective than pulling a Tyler Durden on yourself!

[pellius]

sigh
k heres the truth
Due to my borderline personality disorder mainly with other issues, I have a long history of kicking the hell out of managers, bosses, employers etc etc. I have no ability to respond to authority in a positive manner. Due to this the court systems and government have deemed me unfit to work, and therefore have placed me on a modified form of disability.  It allows me a much higher monthly amount than normal disability because it is in essence "forced".

The poker is true. I am staked by a guy who pays my buy ins and in turn he gets 50% of my winnings. But ya it is come and go, however I never risk my own money.

So what's the going rate that a modifed form of disability can pull these days? I've been canned twice due to anger management issues. One was just verbal but it was to a girl and the other time included a threat, a push and tossing said fella in a rubbish can. My meltdowns aren't solely limited to this board.

I try that counting to 10 thing but I find that my angers just builds with each successive number that by the time I get to 10....


Someday a real rain will come and wash all this .... Nevermind. You get the point.

[Tapeworm]

So what's the going rate that a modifed form of disability can pull these days? I've been canned twice due to anger management issues. One was just verbal but it was to a girl and the other time included a threat, a push and tossing said fella in a rubbish can. My meltdowns aren't solely limited to this board.

I try that counting to 10 thing but I find that my angers just builds with each successive number that by the time I get to 10....


Someday a real rain will come and wash all this .... Nevermind. You get the point.

That doesn't impress us unless it was one of those little 6" x 9" office wastepaper bins you fit him into.

[The Wizard of Truth]

So what's the going rate that a modifed form of disability can pull these days? I've been canned twice due to anger management issues. One was just verbal but it was to a girl and the other time included a threat, a push and tossing said fella in a rubbish can. My meltdowns aren't solely limited to this board.

I try that counting to 10 thing but I find that my angers just builds with each successive number that by the time I get to 10....


Someday a real rain will come and wash all this .... Nevermind. You get the point.

When I was in the fire service there was a smelly ugly little bitch on our shift
Anytime anyone said anything to her you were sure to be up before management
So we used just get to work early and piss in her fire suit

[Vince G, CSN MFT]

29


43


So people on here ask why I dont try to achieve the look I had before. Well first of all I am 44, but that is zero part of the reason.  I am not driven by an inner force to be lean and look better. It makes zero difference to me that I carry this fat. My mental issues have been clearly stated and they play a role, but I find no reason or drive to look like that again. Also, I like to eat.  There is little force in me to accomplish much in life to be honest.  I am driven by outside forces, one of which IS NOT money.  I wouldnt do shit for money, means nothing to me.  If the day came when that elusive outside reason came for me to get lean, yeah it would probably happen.  The only outside force that kind of gives me a little irk to do it is knowing how staggeringly much better I would look leaned out than Vince Goodrum.  Yeah, that would be kinda sweet.  I beak on here but I dont hate anyone except for 1 person and 1 only. Adonis. I could kill him, and not feel bad. Easily.  I like getbig, its fun and entertaining.

But overall, I dont lean out because  I am lazy, I have no inner drive, I require outside reasons to do something.

Well, at least you're honest however you really shouldn't beat up on yourself.  Self degradation only leads to further physical and mental problems.

[The Wizard of Truth]

Whereas Vince,your mental problems stop you from self-degrading yourself and realising hoe you really look

[odilly]

Posted by: disturbia  
Insert Quote
Quote from: odilly on February 05, 2010, 09:43:59 PM
do you think if i move to saskatchewa n and kick the piss out of a few employer i can get on the josh plan


I have the manual I can send you


OK sooo step one get job at subway..........step two bash manager and stuff meatballs up their nose....step three tell judge the lettuce told me to do it....should work eh?...... if that doesn't i can say the jalapenos tried to talk me out of it but i don't speak Mexican

[Vince B]

What happened to that great thread about Goodrum the other day? Keith was in good form and had Melvin against the ropes. Then the thread vanished.

[drkaje]

I like Avesher. Not many people are that honest. I go to Crotch Lake but it's way too far from where he lives for us to catch up and break balls.

I really don't get the hate for Adumbass, though. The guy just wants to think he's smart. I don't appreciate pseudo-intellectuals but probably wouldn't beat ones ass.

[Vince G, CSN MFT]

What happened to that great thread about Goodrum the other day? Keith was in good form and had Melvin against the ropes. Then the thread vanished.

Keith weighs 600+ pounds.  His fat ass will never be in good form unless you're comparing him to a jelly doughnut.....  

[Mr Nobody]

Keith weighs 600+ pounds.  His fat ass will never be in good form unless you're comparing him to a jelly doughnut.....  

I heard Keith still had abs at 600

[Vince G, CSN MFT]

I heard Keith still had flab at 600

corrected..

[Natural Man]

You need significant relationships with other people, you are too self centered and spend too much time on the internet , which you are addicted to. I guess you have no opportunities to be in contact with other human beings in your daily life but this is what you truly need. When you have no relationships, life has no taste at all anymore. Relationships give a taste to life and feelings. No relationships = no physical stimulation and development of the brain, of emotions. Our brain develops itself when we are with others -not virtual people- real people. If we arent, it ceases to develop, as do feelings and emotions, everything becomes darker and darker.

You should fall in love with someone, get an education, a job... And you should consult a psychologist, they re for people who suffer psychologically even if they look "normal" from the outside.

The roots of your psychological dizziness are in your childhood and the way you interacted with your parents and family. Only a big and deep comeback in this past with a professionnal can have an influence on your present and future. You have to modify your cognitions and behaviors. At 44, this will be a huge task, but you have nothing else to do anyway. There's no escape from this, so just do it once for all. Your survival is in question at this point. You have to un-learn, and re-learn more appropriate ways of thinking and acting.

If you do not have/develop meaningful relationships your despair will increase. We are nothing without the others. I'm not saying you need to party with people you dont know everyday, these relationships you have to develop have to be constant, deep and reciprocal.  

Your life is grey, you need to put some colors in it.

You are not going to find this on an internet message board. Get REAL help. The attention whoring doesnt solve the issue at all either. But it's a clear call for help whatever the way you look at it.

By the way, you re in no way unique or alone. People like you are more and more numerous especially in our modern societies. You lack some basics and you have to learn em , even if you're 44. You have to re-start your development, right now you re obviously immature, even if you're 44 it doesnt mean shit, and you have to become mature with the help of a professionnal.  There are people who spend their whole life and die with an underdeveloped conception of the world, why they re here, why the other are here, and how we are suposed to interact with each others. Most of the time a good education, from your parents or from some mentors of resiliency/development, some teachers, can lead you back fullforce in life. Find these people and dont care about "what the other may say or think", these people dont care about you, they only care about themselves and you should do the same. People who truly care about you will only advise you to seek help from a pro.

[Natural Man]

Instead of looking at it as 'going on a diet' or 'getting lean' or 'losing weight,' just be someone who lives well.  That is it's own reward.  Maybe you'll lose weight, maybe not, but I get the sense that your problems are manifested in more ways than just carrying a few lbs.  No flame.

My ex has severe depression and once told me she can't find the motivation or the right mindset to do the things she knows she should (get out of bed, clean her house, etc).  She's been that way for so long I suggested she give up lying there trying to generate the right mindset and just go through the motions of what she would be doing if she had that magical mindset, and after a week or two of having bills paid on time and a clean house I bet some optimism would arrive all on its own, without any mental wrestling being required at all.  

Just go through the motions of living well for a few weeks Av, even if you can't think of a reason to do it.  What have you got to lose?

it's harder than that. When individuals cant find the way out of their despair alone, they need someone else to accompany em.

[disturbia]

You need significant relationships with other people, you are too self centered and spend too much time on the internet , which you are addicted to. I guess you have no opportunities to be in contact with other human beings in your daily life but this is what you truly need. When you have no relationships, life has no taste at all anymore. Relationships give a taste to life and feelings. No relationships = no physical stimulation and development of the brain, of emotions. Our brain develops itself when we are with others -not virtual people- real people. If we arent, it ceases to develop, as do feelings and emotions, everything becomes darker and darker.

You should fall in love with someone, get an education, a job... And you should consult a psychologist, they re for people who suffer psychologically even if they look "normal" from the outside.

The roots of your psychological dizziness are in your childhood and the way you interacted with your parents and family. Only a big and deep comeback in this past with a professionnal can have an influence on your present and future. You have to modify your cognitions and behaviors. At 44, this will be a huge task, but you have nothing else to do anyway. There's no escape from this, so just do it once for all. Your survival is in question at this point. You have to un-learn, and re-learn more appropriate ways of thinking and acting.

If you do not have/develop meaningful relationships your despair will increase. We are nothing without the others. I'm not saying you need to party with people you dont know everyday, these relationships you have to develop have to be constant, deep and reciprocal.  

Your life is grey, you need to put some colors in it.

You are not going to find this on an internet message board. Get REAL help. The attention whoring doesnt solve the issue at all either. But it's a clear call for help whatever the way you look at it.

By the way, you re in no way unique or alone. People like you are more and more numerous especially in our modern societies. You lack some basics and you have to learn em , even if you're 44. You have to re-start your development, right now you re obviously immature, even if you're 44 it doesnt mean shit, and you have to become mature with the help of a professionnal.  There are people who spend their whole life and die with an underdeveloped conception of the world, why they re here, why the other are here, and how we are suposed to interact with each others. Most of the time a good education from your parents or from some mentors of resiliency/development, some teachers, can lead you back in life.

good lord man, shut up and get over yourself

[Natural Man]

good lord man, shut up and get over yourself

good luck 

[Mars]

[Natural Man]

Well, at least you're honest however you really shouldn't beat up on yourself.  Self degradation only leads to further physical and mental problems.

lol look who's talking. You know what you're talking about obviously!

[Tapeworm]

it's harder than that. When individuals cant find the way out of their despair alone, they need someone else to accompany em.

Perhaps, but the important thing is that she's going to be someone else's problem.

[The Ugly]

just eat the kale green sandwiches like i told you, dont STRESS about leans, No need to write out creative dramas here leave that to me to set mothermcnickwiggers straight in spirituality and politics as well a joint effort in technology shared by brother Rami

You should maybe kill him, too.

[Natural Man]

Perhaps, but the important thing is that she's going to be someone else's problem.

who doesnt have problems? What if everyone who see you as "problematic" rejects you and never tries to help you overcome your "problems" ?

We re here to help other people -who matter and give as much as they receive, not lost causes- this is the only way for everyone to evolve and find fullfillment.


We are meant to complete each others, when possible and beneficial to both.

[NCNPC29]

You need significant relationships with other people, you are too self centered and spend too much time on the internet , which you are addicted to. I guess you have no opportunities to be in contact with other human beings in your daily life but this is what you truly need. When you have no relationships, life has no taste at all anymore. Relationships give a taste to life and feelings. No relationships = no physical stimulation and development of the brain, of emotions. Our brain develops itself when we are with others -not virtual people- real people. If we arent, it ceases to develop, as do feelings and emotions, everything becomes darker and darker.

You should fall in love with someone, get an education, a job... And you should consult a psychologist, they re for people who suffer psychologically even if they look "normal" from the outside.

The roots of your psychological dizziness are in your childhood and the way you interacted with your parents and family. Only a big and deep comeback in this past with a professionnal can have an influence on your present and future. You have to modify your cognitions and behaviors. At 44, this will be a huge task, but you have nothing else to do anyway. There's no escape from this, so just do it once for all. Your survival is in question at this point. You have to un-learn, and re-learn more appropriate ways of thinking and acting.

If you do not have/develop meaningful relationships your despair will increase. We are nothing without the others. I'm not saying you need to party with people you dont know everyday, these relationships you have to develop have to be constant, deep and reciprocal.  

Your life is grey, you need to put some colors in it.

You are not going to find this on an internet message board. Get REAL help. The attention whoring doesnt solve the issue at all either. But it's a clear call for help whatever the way you look at it.

By the way, you re in no way unique or alone. People like you are more and more numerous especially in our modern societies. You lack some basics and you have to learn em , even if you're 44. You have to re-start your development, right now you re obviously immature, even if you're 44 it doesnt mean shit, and you have to become mature with the help of a professionnal.  There are people who spend their whole life and die with an underdeveloped conception of the world, why they re here, why the other are here, and how we are suposed to interact with each others. Most of the time a good education, from your parents or from some mentors of resiliency/development, some teachers, can lead you back fullforce in life. Find these people and dont care about "what the other may say or think", these people dont care about you, they only care about themselves and you should do the same. People who truly care about you will only advise you to seek help from a pro.

Excellent post. Articulating sound advice based on rational meaningful thought should be appreciated. Instead you respond "good lord get over yourself." I don't see any hint in this post of self indulgence or grandstanding. It's clear to me it's you that is showing an inability to move past your own ego to see the value in what some actual intellectuals have to say on the board. Adonis may copy and paste facts to support his claims but he clearly has the ability to illustrate his own thought process and opinion based on the facts he presents. Uber, in my opinion, is also a well educated individual.

[Tapeworm]

who doesnt have problems? What if everyone who see you as "problematic" rejects you and never tries to help you overcome your "problems" ?

We re here to help other people -who matter and give as much as they receive, not lost causes- this is the only way for everyone to evolve and find fullfillment.


We are meant to complete each others, when possible and beneficial to both.

Are you saying you want me to set you kids up?