I am a classic excample of how early child life can effect your adult life, my original parents were extremly bad parents, bad to the point that I had to be taken of them since they left me alone in the apartment for 2 weeks and I was only 3 years old, now this may sound cruel but a child does not die if it has only crackers and water to drink for 2 weeks time.
But the damage is done very early, I will never trust anybody apart from people I know very long and the once I have tested numberous times, the trust issue is heavy and always on my mind and is something that I will have until I die and I talked with specialists about this and their believe is that trust is build at a very early stage, when you are baby and you cry and somebody comes and looks after you, you start learning trust as in I have something and somebody comes to help me or somebody comes to give me attention.
Obviously there was nobody for me hence the trust issue.
So I would be extremly careful how to discipline my children since it could have a dramatic effect in later years.
There is a huge difference between corporal punishment and a small smack on the back of the head or a clip around the ears.
Have a look what wolf packs are doing, they have a very complex set of rules, do's and dont's - and also a very complex leader structure.
If you missbehave you can be sure that the pack and especially the leading alpha female will make sure you understand not to do it again.
To the untrained eye it looks like they are just dishing out pain, but I have seen this many times in the zoo I worked they never just go out to kick another lesser pack members ass, its all about rules, you break them you get bitten, not hard but hard enough so you understand - its like setting a line in the sand, if you cross this you can expect concequenses.
I think there is still value in teaching kids physical boundries, as in if you do this you can get hurt - I am completly agains the hippie rules that you cannot touch your kids in any way or form, I think parents should be able to use physical force as the last resourt.
One thing I HATE with a passion is these hippie liberal asshole parents that say: I am my childs best friend... BULLSHIT!! you are not his/her best friend you are taking on the role as a teacher, your child HAS to rescpect you as a higher member of the family, at NO time should the child feel it is running the family.
But the line is very very thin and any parent is walking on thin ice, since I am becoming a father soon this part how to discipline your child has been heavy on my mind.
most people don't understand the psycology of a child, they don't think of me and other people and I have to fit in, childrens world revolves around them they always think they are the middle point of this world, they learn much later that this is not the case.
So it is near impossible to explain to a child that it isn't their fault that mother and father are breaking up - they always feel they have some sort of guilt in that part.
Children take anything said by adults 100% - so for excample if you tell a child its ugly or stupid it will believe it and take these believes with them way into their adult life.
