Also I would like to make peace with no one. He knows alot more than me and I was going to pm for advice, I do not want to fight with him.
also if gh15 or anyone can comment on this for me.
The squat pic was me on no insulin, 400mg testosterone cypionate thats it. Few oral I play with.
For past year or so, I take two shots of insulin every day for past year because of diabetic.. one in morning, once in afternoon of R just to keep my blood sugar in check for the most part. I try skipping shots but its very bad for blood sugar. I became very headache, loosing size in arms and legs, and also skin looked unhealthy and very pale.
now that im looking at the photo I posted above me, I can really see how bad the shit fucked me up, despite visibly having "more muscle" now at 10-15 pounds heavier. I really dont know if I will be able to become good bodybuilder because of this.

Being diabetic I cant abuse it in high enough doses like a nondiabetic could, but I cant "diet" without it like a normal healthy person would so getting shredded is pretty much out:-[
because of my condition, If I do decide to take up bodybuilding seriously, this is what I am going to end up with am I wrong? So I ask myself what is the point if this is the best I can hope for? a big ugly physique? trust me I hate it every day I would love to look like idol Kevin, but its either have a better physique and risk getting my leg amputated down the road, or take insulin, be football player kind of big guy with some muscle to most women yet live a healthy life..only downside is it makes you look like shit. Anyone with any advice on this can pm me if gh15 cant get to it.
If this below is where I am headed, should I just become powerlifter? Or strongman? I would love to try MMA maybe. Of course drugs will always be a part of it but I am not dellusional we can not control everything in our life
I do not like this look at all on this fella
