breakfast: isopure parfait

listen, "be there" and "thong maniac", i've gained 10 lbs, pretty much of fat and glycogen. i took a vacation and binged for a week straight. probably put down 20k calories in the first 24 hours.
i'm not convincing myself of anything, or lacking high calorie foods. it's a complicated situation... i'm not strong enough to work out very hard, and its extremely easy for me to overeat, for a number of reasons. that's why i still track... i can easily eat 2000 calories in a meal and not feel full. i have to learn to "eat normally", whereas this comes to others by instinct.
and some other people think i can just eat more and magically gain muscles, lol... a couple of reasons i got into this situation in the first place: my strength is shot, my muscles and joints are fucked, and i can barely feel anything anymore. why? I'm not sure, probably years of abusive "overtraining".
if you can imagine such a situation, you can see why i might be a little concerned about how best to eat, since just because i eat more doesn't mean i will get stronger.
and just to assuage your "concerns"

, i'm still seeing the doctor, taking medical leave, and will be visiting a nutritionist soon as well.
all that said, despite the somewhat "fed up" tone of this post, I am thankful, for once, to have been on the receiving end of some relentless criticism.