That is some crazy shit you went through. I don't believe I ever had good enough genetics to compete. Your post makes me feel good about my choice to weight train just to be fit and healthy as opposed to trying to win a plastic trophy and sacrifice my health in the process.
It wasn't that there is anything wrong with competitive bodybuilding. It was just my over extreme approach in 2007 that set me up for failure, I took things way too far, thinking isolating myself would make me better. I put all my eggs in one basket at the expense of everything else in life and when I failed, it was a very bitter pill to swallow.
I still compete but now when I'm prepping I'm way more balanced, They way I approach it now is to "set it and forget it" I don't obsesses about Bodybuilding anymore,let it take over my life or even talk to anyone much about it. In fact most people I work with don't even know I'm dieting & getting ready for a show. If I'm hungry on the diet I just keep it to myself and don't complain & talk about it all the time. Generally just keep things in priority and get on with my everyday life. I spend more time with my family, supportive positive friends (have refeeds "cheat days" going to restaurants each week helps to keep me sane) and make sure my work is my number one priority, not bodybuilding.
There was a happy end to this story…In 2009 I actually got back on the horse , requalified for the IFBB classic world champs in Spain again, This time made my weight at the weigh-in

and ended up coming 8th in the World in a very big lineup (Out of 30 National champions ) I didn't win it but doing it was a personal redemption for me and an awesome experience!
