what do I do. Kid isn't mine.

[dustin]

I didn't say he should stay. I don't think he should, re read my posts. He has a bond with the child, I'm saying it's a stand up thing to do, if he does.

I'm late to the party but offer my condolences. In response to this advice, it would be all peaches and cream if he stuck around for the kid but he has no obligation. The bitch is crazy and he jeopardizes his mental health and well being. She would definitely pull some more shit down the road because a c-u-n-t never changes.

Get away NOW. Don't try rationalizing things. She's crazy. So the rational thing is to get as far away from that crazy shitbag as you can. It sucks when women do things like this but you can't change someone like her. It's return is not worth the emotional investment, so don't bother buying stock now because that shit is crashing and fast. GET OUT NOW!!! Best of luck, man. Getbig loves ya!! (no homo)

[newmom]

I'm late to the party but offer my condolences. In response to this advice, it would be all peaches and cream if he stuck around for the kid but he has no obligation. The bitch is crazy and he jeopardizes his mental health and well being. She would definitely pull some more shit down the road because a c-u-n-t never changes.

Get away NOW. Don't try rationalizing things. She's crazy. So the rational thing is to get as far away from that crazy shitbag as you can. It sucks when women do things like this but you can't change someone like her. It's return is not worth the emotional investment, so don't bother buying stock now because that shit is crashing and fast. GET OUT NOW!!! Best of luck, man. Getbig loves ya!! (no homo)

I said that, even when it pertains to the kid. I still think he should get a paternity test. Like I also stated, she'd probably allow him for now, to be in child's life if he stays with mom or not, but will tell him to fuck off later when she sees fit

[Archer77]

Kid is 1 years old. Just get the fuk away from her and her ex's kid. You better off to do it now when the kid was zero memory of you then to suck it up and do it when he's 10 or something.

This is your answer, no doubt.

[Shockwave]

A lot of simpletons are spewing their black and white vomitus all over the place... most are homosexuals, others have never been in long-term relationships, others are 400 pounds heavy and talk only to their mum, others are reclusive and don't talk to anyone at all, hence the absolute advice: she's a whore, leave her.

There is one question really to be asked.

Do you love this woman? Is she someone you want to grow old with? Raise kids with her? Can you stand to rear a child of whom you are not the biological father?

If yes and

assuming you are the sort of people responsible enough to raise kids in the first place,

I've got a few ideas as to how you can handle this.

First, can you make sure that she loves you and can't live without you? To start this, put some immediate distance between you and her. Move out, to a hotel or to a friend's. Stay there for a few weeks. Stop contact and check her reactions. Does she call you every day or every other day? Does she sound desperate? Does she beg to see you face-to-face? Ask her friends, how is she doing? Does she look dishevelled and withdrawn?

If she is growing more desperate the more time passes by, chances are she can't live without you.

If, on the other hand, calls start getting infrequent after a couple of weeks... if she starts getting used to the idea of you being away... if her friends tell you that she is pulling through and starts getting herself together... chances are that she can do without you and find someone else to take care of her. You should do the same.

While you live apart from her, take special care of yourself. Don't miss days at work. Go out with your mates. Pick up a girl at a bar for an easy shag, and make sure news of this gets back to your girlfriend. If you take hormones, don't stop now. If you don't, this is no time to start. Don't completely stop contact with her, drop in every week or so to remove some of your belongings.

The distance between you, will show if you love her, too. If a few weeks/months pass but you can't stop thinking of her, you love her. If you start checking out other women, you're moving on...

Assuming the positive scenario comes through in the situation and both of you are hopelessly attached to each other and she will suffer a breakdown if you totally abandon her and her baby...

the next step would be to deal with the child's father.

You've written that he doesn't care for her and that she is the one that keeps hounding him, which is positive. However, there are  other details to consider. Do they have common friends? Does she know and communicate with his parents? Do they work closely or at the same place? Do they do the same kind of job? If any of the above answers are yes, the situation is difficult. If they have common friends, it's very difficult, because she will be asking them about him and unless you can enstrange her from these people, this won't work.

If you can, arrange a face-to-face meeting with the child's dad. Chances are you won't be able to, because you've indicated that the man is scared of you. If that's the case, talk on the phone. Don't chat on the internet, text is no good for this, talk on the phone.

Indicate that you are very angry with this situation and that you blame him and only him. You consider this a trespass to your territory and that you are considering some sort of action. I'll leave it up to you as to what kind of action. It could be legal (a lawsuit), which is groundless and specious, but is intimidating to a moron. Or you can suggest that you'll gather your mates and cripple him, which is intimidating to anyone. Or you can make this more vague and suggest that you will fuck up his life in some other way, which is very intimidating to an insecure person. You know the person, so it's up to you.

If the guy is cavalier and tells you to go fuck yourself, forget this whole reconciliation thing, it won't work with such a man between you and it won't be easy to remove him, without compromising your integrity.

If the guy is not rude but still not particularly scared, chances are he will keep seeing your girlfriend, probably as soon as he breaks up with his companion and is in need of an easy shag.

If the guy is intimidated, you're getting places. Tell him that you're considering suspending your proposed actions, but if he contacts your girl ever again, via text, net or phone, you will pay him back immediately and with added interest. If you are especially lucky and he's shitting himself- try to get him to change his email address and mobile number.

Supposing everything goes well at this front, you can move to deal with your girl.

It's time for a meeting. How does she look? If she's a mess, it's good. If she's radiant and starts talking about places she's been, things she's done, get out, it's over.

Assuming she's a mess, vent your frustration to her, but in a controlled manner. Tell her that she lost your trust and that she will have to work very hard to amend that. Tell her that she needs to show you that she can be loyal. If you are sure she understands this and shows willingness to earn back your trust and not just yessing you to death, it's positive. However, there are still many issues.

What is particularly troublesome is what gh15 wrote. If she didn't tell you about the child not being yours, she's done other things behind your back.

Now is the time to learn what they are. Ask to know every little thing, apart from the child thing. If there is something especially hideous... if she's been two-timing you with other people as well...

Get the fuck out.

If, on other hand, the child issue was the only transgression...

And if by now, you are sure of your feelings,

And of her feelings,

Then, try to work this through and reconciliate.

Keep in mind, that a father's child is not necessarily the biological one. A father's child is the one who stays with it through thick and thin... the one worrying over toothaches, indigestion, good education, health habits... the one who grows up with the kid.

That's as far as my suggestions go. As you see, there are many obstacles in the way and it is unlikely that in each scenario the positive outcome will be the likely one. There are many real life details that only you are aware of and not me. So, this is amenable to your own experience.

One final thing... make-up sex in this case needs to be rough in the beginning. And with humiliating overtones. Try to avoid kissing.

And some of us are happily married, have been in multiple relationships with women ranging from total shit to golden (and more rotten ones than I care to count), and know how the rotten ones work...

To me (and more importantly my wife), this one sounds rotten. Shes done it more than once. Shes more than likely going to do it again, and the longer he stays with her, the worse things are going to get.

Like I said, happy women dont go behind your back and txt their ex's how much they love them.. on multiple occaisons (after having been caught).

[dustin]

I said that, even when it pertains to the kid. I still think he should get a paternity test. Like I also stated, she'd probably allow him for now, to be in child's life if he stays with mom or not, but will tell him to fuck off later when she sees fit

I'm still reading over the thread. It's hard enough for me as an observer to keep a straight head and to stay calm when reading shit like this.

I'm not saying guys are saints because we fuck up too, but women are downright fucking evil. You never fuck around the way this whore did. It's unforgivable and I'd say if he were the father, go after full custody and give her nothing more than whatever visitation rights you see fit. She sounds like a royal fuck up. If he's not the father, may God or whatever other deity may be out there watch over this poor kid.

[Fitness4Life]

You already know you gotta leave, no questions.  I just hope you got the strength to start again, I'm sure you do, can take months, years to get over, maybe you wont until you fall in love again.  But you gotta hit the road, stay on through the bumps and cracks, eventually you'll get to a nice place

[garebear]

Now you listen and you listen good.

You run, don't walk, to the nearest courthouse and you marry that keeper before some other lucky Joe snatches her up.

[newmom]

I'm still reading over the thread. It's hard enough for me as an observer to keep a straight head and to stay calm when reading shit like this.

I'm not saying guys are saints because we fuck up too, but women are downright fucking evil. You never fuck around the way this whore did. It's unforgivable and I'd say if he were the father, go after full custody and give her nothing more than whatever visitation rights you see fit. She sounds like a royal fuck up. If he's not the father, may God or whatever other deity may be out there watch over this poor kid.

ha you never met my ex. He could mind fuck with the best of them.

[bradistani]

duno how to handle this. Anyone else ever deal with it. Finding out there kid isn't there's.

she didn't tell me. I had to find out. She was still emailing her ex telling him she loves him n always have always will.i knew time frames always didn't match up when she got preganant. Finally I find truth in a secret email.

wtf do I do. Kid is 1 yrs old. After I found out I broke her down she admitted everything. But now tells me she doesn't love him n loves me n doesn't want me to leave. I'm confused cause she is going crazy trying to make sure I won't leave her. So it seems she does love. Obv she's promising to never talk to him again like before.... I caught her almost 2 yrs ago before emailing n txting him telling him she loves him n still wants to be with him.

so its twice now I been emotionally cheated on n this times even more fucked up.

wtf do I do. I dunom all there's pictures of me holding this kid... Wtf....  She keeps telling me she wants me to be her farther n be with her...

what do I do.

fuck her right off. try and keep a relationship with the little one. there's no way on earth you can stay in a relationship with the mother. she's been playing you for a fool.

[CalvinH]

she will never change. if you stay, you are basically giving her permission to continue the things she is doing.

This,this,this....

[Tito24]

[theheman]

If I was gambing my bets would be 2 to 1 that he stays with her.  The guy comes off just very clingy and needy.  He's spying on her and getting her computer passwords.  He thrives on telling his sob story about his gf cheating on him.  All of your guys' advice, great advice btw, all in vain.  Fucking attention whore reply back when you've dumped the bitch and left her for good. 

[lyquid]

If I was gambing my bets would be 2 to 1 that he stays with her.  The guy comes off just very clingy and needy.  He's spying on her and getting her computer passwords.  He thrives on telling his sob story about his gf cheating on him.  All of your guys' advice, great advice btw, all in vain.  Fucking attention whore reply back when you've dumped the bitch and left her for good. 

I don't check her shit that's the problem she gives me her passwords to check but I don't... That's why I checked for about a month. Why do you think my best friend had to find out info from her ex. Cause I don't check anything! She was even tcting him at one point. I don't check shit n that's my problem. If I did wudda knew sooner I obv.

don't wat attention but I do want strength n to keep reading this post all day to get enuff courage. Trust me buddy spend everyday with a newbor for over a yr thinking she's urs n you have pics on ur phone over 1000 of ur family together and on ur house walls. Ur gomma find it hard to leave this baby she didn't do shit (its a shit everyone kept saying he)
not to mention obv my feelings for the gf doesn't go away in a second either.

I've made plans n have a place to go now. Paternity test is otw. By end of week n said 2 days to hear back (a friends gettin it done fast ) n I dumo. Either way I shud leave or the child will be fucked up cuz all she will see is a ery unhappy marriage n fights.

I know I gotta leave. I just gonna read every post every second I have in the day n get it through my head. I don't wana be depressed n unhappy forever. I don't. But I don't wana be a walk out like my farther.

[Parker]

Haha cant bdlieve what some if u are sayin
a turk would kill that whoreand turkish judge would say nice one brother she does not deserve to live

Remind me, human rights aren't too big over there?
It's not that she is a "whore" per se, but she is playing the cuckhold game---a game in which we as men cannot play...she is hedging her bets on who could best satisfy her own selfish needs and self worth, and using the kid as leverage...

[Natural Man]

duno how to handle this. Anyone else ever deal with it. Finding out there kid isn't there's.

she didn't tell me. I had to find out. She was still emailing her ex telling him she loves him n always have always will.i knew time frames always didn't match up when she got preganant. Finally I find truth in a secret email.

wtf do I do. Kid is 1 yrs old. After I found out I broke her down she admitted everything. But now tells me she doesn't love him n loves me n doesn't want me to leave. I'm confused cause she is going crazy trying to make sure I won't leave her. So it seems she does love. Obv she's promising to never talk to him again like before.... I caught her almost 2 yrs ago before emailing n txting him telling him she loves him n still wants to be with him.

so its twice now I been emotionally cheated on n this times even more fucked up.

wtf do I do. I dunom all there's pictures of me holding this kid... Wtf....  She keeps telling me she wants me to be her farther n be with her...

what do I do.

It's not your kid, it's THEIR kid. They are the only responsible for his existence. You aren't.

What kind of woman does this to a man, to TWO men...to her kid?

Lol dude. Wtf. How in hell do some people find themselves in such situations. Are your parents separated?

[Raymondo]

Remind me, human rights aren't too big over there?
It's not that she is a "whore" per se, but she is playing the cuckhold game---a game in which we as men cannot play...she is hedging her bets on who could best satisfy her own selfish needs and self worth, and using the kid as leverage...

Do you know what an honour killing is?

If a muslim girl goes with an unbeliever (a non-muslim) or does not want to marry her designated husband, some muslim families will consider this as bringing great shame to their family and will take upon themselves to kill the girl, to restore the family's "honour"

You want see the little turk talking about this.

You may wonder, how do I know this? Check this out: http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/feb/04/girl-buried-alive-turkey

[w8m8]

What kind of woman does this to a man, to TWO men?

The ones that know they can get away with it  

[PJim]

It's not your kid, it's THEIR kid. They are the only responsible for his existence. You aren't.

What kind of woman does this to a man, to TWO men?

Lol dude. Wtf. How in hell do some people find themselves in such situations. Are your parents separated?

Got to agree. The shit that people are willing to put up with is beyond me. It's all about learning to start listening to your head and not making huge decisions on a whim.

[Natural Man]

The ones that know they can get away with it  

and who dont care about kids, only spawn them for money and enslaving men with emotional attachment. These people dont have emotional attachment themselves, they play with the emotional attachment felt by others and manipulate them to serve their own personal egoistical , immature goals. Basically, predators who prey on weak minded men. Yeah, they exist, women arent angels just because they are women.  These monsters have 0 clue of the emotional distress they re causing to others, they re complete sociopaths only caring about themselves. Others only exist to serve them.

I d like to know this evil woman 's background, who led her to behave that way with men and others in general. I wonder what kind of mother, father she had. They obviously created an evil creature.


Also, raising some one else's kid doesnt work (ok maybe one time out of ten, or when it's someone from the same family, grandparents, uncles, etc that raise kid in place of their genetical parents) but a stranger from a different bloodline will never ever love someone else 's kid like it's one of his own bloodline.
 You either do kids and stay with the genitor or you dont spawn kid, as simple as that.

[lyquid]

It's not your kid, it's THEIR kid. They are the only responsible for his existence. You aren't.

What kind of woman does this to a man, to TWO men...to her kid?

Lol dude. Wtf. How in hell do some people find themselves in such situations. Are your parents separated?

like I said at first I was cool  n collected rdy to leave. But I spent a yr with this kids first yr of life man. Having to litterarly take care of her like a baby obv.. Feed change. Carry her everywhere cuz she can't walk.. Like its def harder I need to leae I know I do

[w8m8]

like I said at first I was cool  n collected rdy to leave. But I spent a yr with this kids first yr of life man. Having to litterarly take care of her like a baby obv.. Feed change. Carry her everywhere cuz she can't walk.. Like its def harder I need to leae I know I do

you get given a falsehood and accept it for a year .... when you learn the truth do you keep living with the lie ?

or do you act like you are worthy of more and remove yourself from a situation that is bound to deteriorate ?

The bitch WROTE a letter to the kids father and SAID .. I will ALWAYS love you .. are you so thick to think you matter ?

You're a meal ticket .. and the baby will NEVER remember you if you go now to save your own self respect


but you go ahead and wait .. then when this bitch gets knocked up again you can go through this all over

[Natural Man]

like I said at first I was cool  n collected rdy to leave. But I spent a yr with this kids first yr of life man. Having to litterarly take care of her like a baby obv.. Feed change. Carry her everywhere cuz she can't walk.. Like its def harder I need to leae I know I do

I understand. But as he will age his father in him will grow more and more and will reject you. It s not your genes. You ll be emotionaly manipulated by every single one of them in the long run.
And with such a duplicitous mother , an ex i bet isnt worth much more than her, the whole thing is a psychodramatic nightmare in the making.

She s the only responsible for all of this. Seriously, how did you manage your life to get owned to that point. What subconscious invisible patterns did you follow to end in such a situation. Are you a bastard child yourself by any chances?

[lyquid]

was to young to kno of this n I guess one big thing I'm takin from this forum is where they come from matters. She was never a slutty girl. Only other guy is her ex her first love n fuck. So obv as a girl she's retarded with that.

but matter of fact her dad wasn't around. Her mother cared more about her bfs than she did her kids n got her kids taken away. Always bf to next bf n didn't want to be alone. N eventually kids my gf was in a foster home. She was never a slut acted dressed etc only one other guy. But obv she is so messed up n doesn't want to be alone same time is so caught up in this whole first love first fuck bullshit n is never gonna let go in her mind.

am I safe to assume that's correct?

and yes my parents were separated n bad parents. But I was always pretty mature. Hence I'm here raising a kid n scared to walk out on it. Never did drugs in my life always been a very calm n colect person.

and who dont care about kids, only spawn them for money and enslaving men with emotional attachment. Basically, predators who prey on weak minded men. Yeah, they exist, women arent angels just because they are women.  These monsters have 0 clue of the emotional distress they re causing to others, they re complete sociopaths only caring about themselves.

I d like to know this evil woman 's background, who led her to behave that way with men and others in general. I wonder what kind of mother she had.


Also, raising some one else's kid doesnt work (ok maybe one time out of ten, or when it's someone from the same family, grandparents, uncles, etc that raise kid in place of their genetical parents) but a stranger from a different bloodline will never ever like someone else 's kid like it's one of his own bloodline.
 You either do kids and stay with the genitor or you dont spawn kid, as simple as that.

[CalvinH]

Now you listen and you listen good.

You run, don't walk, to the nearest courthouse and you marry that keeper before some other lucky Joe snatches her up.

 

[lyquid]

I understand. But as he will age his father in him will grow more and more and will reject you. It s not your genes.
And with such a duplicitous mother it's a psychodramatic nightmare in the making.

She s the only responsible for all of this. Seriously, how did you manage your life to get owned to that point. What subconscious invisible patterns did you follow to end in such a situation. Are you a bastard child yourself by any chances?

guys the farther has a kid of his own on the way. Lifes close to a country away pretty much. Wants nothig to do with her. This is also why I feel bad for the kid. Its not a pretty situation for her.

I was decived. Told how much I was loved everyday n she did eerything for me.. Do anything. When a girl goes to those limbs you believe her