I asked because you have very wise posts, but this time the "single mom..." stuff doesn't apply.
He died 6 years ago. Yeah, you could say that "OOOh he could've helped you in so many ways now that you're in your twenties". Don't try to go around it because I've allways had mom&dad, allways.
So what's your excuse now. I hardly feel lonely, I have fun with friends. I have friends who I can rely on 100%.
So what would you think is the problem causing me to be this vain now?
I never said you had a problem, you re the one asking me questions, again just a reminder, and I never said I saw this as a "problem" if you dont want reproduce right now - and i wouldnt even care if you wouldnt want to reproduce later in your life either; it would be your choice, and you would be the only one to reap what you sow, even if as a white man myself Im programmed to worry about people of my own race not wanting to reproduce anymore-.
The only thing that I can tell you is that you re still immature. It's not a criticism or anything, it just means you re young and have the Thought's developement of someone your age, as simple as that.
Still the path is the same for everyone, the steps are the same, the order they follow each others is the same, and everyone is at different step in this unique path of the human development. The steps you reach depend of your education, your upbringings, your genes, the love your received or didnt recieve, and of your Faith. Someone who has no faith -an atheist- see no problem evolving in society fucking other people in the ass and even feel good about evolving that way, while someone who has Faith takes care to evolve following rules, principles, that will make him help others if he/she can instead of walking on their faces with a smile while aiming at the top of the pyramid. Atheists dont care about the way they live, what matters are the direct results, benefits they can get for themselves. They dont feel like theyr re part of something bigger -often coming from something that exploded originally, ie their own family's structure- they are humans who cannot feel emotions anymore. These people cannot build families and create life as a result. As more and more people abandon religion and become atheists, as more and more of these atheists give birth to even deeper, bigger atheists, human relationships become colder, mechanical, animalistic. This is also a very deep concern because, nowadays kids get access to many knowledges, infos at the same time. Which means they are very smart, but coming from atheist families, increasingly emotionless and more and more egocentrical.
About humans psychological development;
There are virgin guys in their 40 s who never learned to seduce women -often raised by single mothers-, who are or arent homosexuals, who have or dont have a job, who have one or several "hobbies", and who understand things other people understood way younger just because they were told about it by their caregivers, parents, family, while they, didnt. Adults who just aged living in a bubble, stuck in time. I.m not talking about physically, biologically damaged individuals, severe cases of autism or trisomic people here, I'm talking about people who have all the biological equipment to fulfil their natural needs but dont. That's because their psychological development has been harmed by their caregivers.
Anyway, i your case, as you ll age the biological need to reproduce will slowly develop, but it might happen in 5, 10 or 15 years from now if you re only 20. It is pre embeded, programmed in us all. Your genes determine when you re going to feel the need to reproduce, when it will kick in. It might also be conditionned by your direct environment. For example in times of great despair, men and women reproduce sooner, younger. In times of peace, the biological need kicks in later.
We re totally dependant of the conditionnings that surround us as mich as we re dependant of the inner, embeded conditionnings we inherited from our genitors. All these pre programmations cross each others constantly and shape what we call human life.
The three main conditionnings that determine our "choices" (or more precisely, the limited options we re going to have to choose from) are our genes, our upbringing/education/faith/spirituality, and our direct physical environment.
I d also like to mention the fact that we human get bored of everything that is extreme at some point. And that focusing only on yourself, living in complete constant hedonism, also gets old. It's just a step. But some people stay stuck at that step forever, until it's too late to evolve to the next step.
It's not "my" opinion , it's just the way it works and has been explained by studies in the 60s and 70s. At some point all humans get sick of doing the same shit over and over again; like being unemployed, taking drugs, fleeing reality in virtual worlds etc. It will get old even to you as sure as 1+1 = 2.
Considering you come from a stable family, chances are high that once the biological need to reproduce kicks in, if you evolve to the next steps of human development in the next decade, you will reproduce with ease the way your father built his couple and family.
Let's just hope you know everything he did, good, or bad, in order to be sure what to reproduce to create life, and in order not to reproduce what he might have done that destroyed life. You need to know your past, your genitors respective pasts, in order to not reproduce their failures, to overcome them reported in your own existence if they didnt overcome them in theirs, and to continue, develop their positive strenghts you also inherited.
We are the sum of what precedes us, physically, and psychically. And when we reach full consciousness around the age of 20/25 , we then have the possibility to modify to some extent our past acquired or inherited conditionnings. For this we need an education though. And to make good use of our education and of our inherited, learned, acquired strenghts, to fight our weaknesses, we need Faith. How many people have strenghts they use badly simply because they didnt have Faith.
Without control, power is worthless.
Without Faith and love, hope that build a healthy confidence in humans, intelligence is worthless, even worse, it might end serving destruction.
Men who dont reproduce and build a healthy family end alone with noone to talk to for the last decades of their existence. Their brain biologically stops developing, as it has been proved constant -healthy- relationships maintain the constant development of the brain. Unhealthy relationships also deteriorates biologically the development of the brain and lead to what are called by science "mental illnesses". What keeps -less and less- people from seeing their brain biologically melt and at the same time/as a result their psychism collapse under its own weight are Faith and healthy significant relationships with loyal loved ones.
Faith is linked of the biological development of our limbic system and prefrontal lobes. When you dont have any faith anymore, the hypocampe and various others parts of the brain start shutting themselves down as the most recent studies reveal, just like it happens when you have nobody to talk to anymore.
