Wisdom gained ?

[Roger Bacon]

PRIME EXAMPLE OF A "MODERN" "FEMININE" MAN. You will get shit on eventually by this new woman and you DESERVE IT.

This is also why the white race is dying out. I bet you teach your kids not to be racist and if your daughter brought home a black you would just be "Glad she has found a person she likes".

Damn I'm glad the Clinton baby boomer generation is on the way out and the new generation is hardened by having to deal with the filthy society people like Howard have passed onto them.

Good post 

[canyon]

PRIME EXAMPLE OF A "MODERN" "FEMININE" MAN. You will get shit on eventually by this new woman and you DESERVE IT.

This is also why the white race is dying out. I bet you teach your kids not to be racist and if your daughter brought home a black you would just be "Glad she has found a person she likes".

Damn I'm glad the Clinton baby boomer generation is on the way out and the new generation is hardened by having to deal with the filthy society people like Howard have passed onto them.

Best post I've read on here in a long time. SPOT ON.

[quadzilla456]

Howard you are totally missing the point. The reason why relationships don't last anymore is because of feminism and feminine men. Women have far too much power in our modern society, power which in a healthy society they would be deprived of. There is a logical reason for why black males were allowed to vote before white women in the USA lol.

Marriage usually was permanant back in the first half of the twentieth century and yes people changed then but they learnt to adapt to eachothers changes for the sake of their children and due to peer pressure. If a woman left her husband without a damn good reason back in the early 20th century then she would be scorned by all those around her and left out on her ass.

Today if a woman leaves her husband all her friends/family give her a pat on the back and the mainstream media encourages women to shit all over men. Don't even bother trying to get married unless there is a radical change in society and we revert back to the kind of values system we had 100 years ago.

Howard you are talking like a feminine man, sorry to say it but you are part of the problem if you hadn't already worked out what I posted above.

Marriage back in the old days was a sign that you were going to start a family, it was not just some mandatory thing done by people in a long term relationship. It seems like you have the "modern" view on marriage and are as bad as the air headed women you see on daytime television.

This guy totally gets it! Great Post!

[Parker]

I wish it was that simple. I  married her when she was still in graduate school. She is a national board certified psychologist and I find smart woman a lot more sexy then dumb ones. We were married for 8 yrs but in the later stages she wanted a more independent lifestyle and to live in her own place. We got divorced on good terms.Without getting too personal, we dated and lived in separate places for a couple years , a yr  AFTER we divorced.
We spent most weekends and vactions together along with 1 night during the work week.
That was pretty cool and we both enjoyed it for awhile. I found it too lonely after a couple years and gradually moved on.
She seemed pretty happy in that situation and I gotta admit the sex was awesome LOL.

You had issues in your life and married a psychologist...you needn't go on...


And no Method101, that is not the reason why relationships don't last anymore...try another door.
In societies where women choose men, they have always had the power---many women today haven't been shown by their mothers to require what they want from men---they have been shown to getting an education and doing for one's self.

[Roger Bacon]

The Clinton generation part is hilarious, because it's dead on.  I think our generation might be a good one, like our grandparents and great grandparents. 

[Croatch]

What are you gaining by chronically marrying women?
It seems like you're set on living the "American Dream", with kids, dog, etc.
In the end, marriage is just a financial agreement.  People are sold this from a youngster that this is the "ultimate" in a relationship...everyone knows it's anal...with women, no homo.

You have to love the married guys who tell you, "Don't get married."  Then wtf are you married.

2 reasons, scared to be alone...or afraid the girl will leave.

Unless your woman has a ton of cash, you're a fool to get married...sorry.

[Howard]

LOL, anal the ultimate hahaha. good one ( and true  .
Well Croatch, for starters ( again) I never had kids nor wanted any.
I have lived alone and enjoyed it for awhile , between marriages.
It is all about getting  meaning out of life.
Having a partner beside me , building a life together, gives my life more meaning then being alone.

The reality  is , people can change over time and that may change the dymnamic within the relationship.

[jaejonna]

wrench, hammer or nails?

r u listing 'men' you want to sleep with ?

[da_vinci]

Have you ever had "the one that got away"?

[MP]

So ... where is all the wisdom gained? Communicate with your wife? That's it?

[SOMEPARTS]

Howard you are totally missing the point. The reason why relationships don't last anymore is because of feminism and feminine men. Women have far too much power in our modern society, power which in a healthy society they would be deprived of. There is a logical reason for why black males were allowed to vote before white women in the USA lol.

Marriage usually was permanant back in the first half of the twentieth century and yes people changed then but they learnt to adapt to eachothers changes for the sake of their children and due to peer pressure. If a woman left her husband without a damn good reason back in the early 20th century then she would be scorned by all those around her and left out on her ass.

Today if a woman leaves her husband all her friends/family give her a pat on the back and the mainstream media encourages women to shit all over men. Don't even bother trying to get married unless there is a radical change in society and we revert back to the kind of values system we had 100 years ago.

Howard you are talking like a feminine man, sorry to say it but you are part of the problem if you hadn't already worked out what I posted above.

Marriage back in the old days was a sign that you were going to start a family, it was not just some mandatory thing done by people in a long term relationship. It seems like you have the "modern" view on marriage and are as bad as the air headed women you see on daytime television.

All kinds of yes to this post...

[Voice of Doom]

so you say you're attracted to "smart" women....but your current fiance is willing to be your 4th wife??


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonance

[Donny]

My dad was always there as a kid and didn't kill himself until I was 28.
He was a Navy vet of 2 wars and nobody really knows exactly why he did it.
I loved bodybuilding from the first time I got a pec and bicep pump useing my wt set in my basement at age 17.

I am not sure about anyone else, I just know I am quite happy , content and in love right now

sorry about your Father. You are like a Guy i know. Trouble is women know how to "trap" some guys... but all the best with your new Woman..

[BayGBM]

I often wonder what someone is thinking when they marry for the 3rd or 4th time.  Did the first two marriages not count?  Is it for real this time?  Does a marriage vow really mean anything to this person?  This is not a negative judgement nor a criticism; I'm genuinely curious what the bride or groom is thinking.  And if you are marrying someone who has been married three or four times previously, are you thinking that your relationship will be the successful one?  

Does "...in sickness and in health for as long as you both shall live?"  really mean anything?  Or is it just a metaphor for "I'll stay for as long as I'm happy... and then I'm outta here because life is short and there are plenty of other fish in the sea."

Liz was from a generation that believed it was not permissible to have sex unless you were married, but very few people think that way today.  So why get married 3, 4, or 5 times?  By the time you are walking down the aisle for the 3rd or 4th time it is too late to look "respectable" so why do it?

[steamboatwillie]

I like this thread, and I feel like you have given me some solid advice.  I mean know disrespect by this, but I don't understand marrying 4 times and not wanting children.  Assuming my marriage doesn't work out, I can't see having a desire to remarry unless I did want to start s family.  Obviously there are differing views on here.

[bears]

I often wonder what someone is thinking when they marry for the 3rd or 4th time.  Did the first two marriages not count?  Is it for real this time?  Does a marriage vow really mean anything to this person?  This is not a negative judgement nor a criticism; I'm genuinely curious what the bride or groom is thinking.  And if you are marrying someone who has been married three or four times previously, are you thinking that your relationship will be the successful one?  

Does "...in sickness and in health for as long as you both shall live?"  really mean anything?  Or is it just a metaphor for "I'll stay for as long as I'm happy... and then I'm outta here because life is short and there are plenty of other fish in the sea."

Liz was from a generation that believed it was not permissible to have sex unless you were married, but very few people think that way today.  So why get married 3, 4, or 5 times?  By the time you are walking down the aisle for the 3rd or 4th time it is too late to look "respectable" so why do it?

thats why you shouldn't take marriage advice from someone who has been divorced.  you should take marriage advice from people who have been happily married one time to one person.  the people who have been divorced don't have any clue on how to be married.  all they know is how to get divorced.  and how to rationalize breaking a vow they made before God and their family after the fact in order to feel better about themselves. 

[MP]

thats why you shouldn't take marriage advice from someone who has been divorced.  you should take marriage advice from people who have been happily married one time to one person.  the people who have been divorced don't have any clue on how to be married.  all they know is how to get divorced.  and how to rationalize breaking a vow they made before God and their family after the fact in order to feel better about themselves. 

This.

If I'm getting divorced, then I'll listen to Howard.

[cephissus]

I often wonder what someone is thinking when they marry for the 3rd or 4th time.  Did the first two marriages not count?  Is it for real this time?  Does a marriage vow really mean anything to this person?  This is not a negative judgement nor a criticism; I'm genuinely curious what the bride or groom is thinking.  And if you are marrying someone who has been married three or four times previously, are you thinking that your relationship will be the successful one?  

Does "...in sickness and in health for as long as you both shall live?"  really mean anything?  Or is it just a metaphor for "I'll stay for as long as I'm happy... and then I'm outta here because life is short and there are plenty of other fish in the sea."

Liz was from a generation that believed it was not permissible to have sex unless you were married, but very few people think that way today.  So why get married 3, 4, or 5 times?  By the time you are walking down the aisle for the 3rd or 4th time it is too late to look "respectable" so why do it?

good post!

howard i believe not wanting kids may have something to do with your incessant stream of divorces...

[#1 Klaus fan]

A person can be an experienced man but still a total idiot so don't play that game with us Howard.

[Howard]

A person can be an experienced man but still a total idiot so don't play that game with us Howard.

Maybe I have some hard won wisdom on this, or maybe I'm an idiot? Your call .
In the end we all have our own opinions.
Each night after we log off from getbig we reflect on our own day and live with our choices.

[Howard]

This.

If I'm getting divorced, then I'll listen to Howard.

well played 

[BayGBM]

Really? So by that logic you would never listen to a coach that ever  lost a big game?
Ya know you can make a vow to stay in any crappy situation and stick it out for the sake of the vow.
Or you can be objective and move on .

1. I'm not very religous, so for me the "vow before God" stuff doesn't mean much.
2. I went into each marriage and stayed consistant with what was agreed upon before we got married.
For example, the first two changed a yr or more after we married and decided they now wanted kids.
THAT was a complete deal breaker for me. The 3rd simply wanted to live in her own place and live a more independent lifestyle.
I tried it and after a time realized it didn't work for me. I gotta admit the sex with the 3rd ex was always good and was really intense when we lived in separate places . being a guy that kept me comming back for awhile  and I'm not ashamed to admit it
 All 3 ex wives changed and brought in new desires and situations within the marriage.
I knew what  wanted and didn't change from the start...they did. I assume each one was sincere in her new feelings. I was just as sincere in the deire NOT to have kids or even live in separate places.

I'm going to love my woman and cherish her being with me.
  BUT, I won't be a doormat and cave in on my core beliefs just because she has a change of heart.  

I'm more like a velvet glove , then a hammer, in how I deal with woman.
I smile, talk calmly and treat them with love,  dignity and respect.
BUT, if she tries to get me to have a kid or live a lifestyle I don't agree with from the start, then it's  adios sweety.

You don't have to be all macho and verbose to be a real man with a woman.
For example, if my woman told me I needed to quit the gym , I would try to explain it to her and just keep going.
If she kept throwing a fit, I would calmly tell her that was not going to fly and we may not be compatible, etc.

Fair enough, but does a vow have to be made before “god” for it to have meaning to you?  Isn’t the vow you are making to your spouse and to yourself?  When you got married did the promise to “love, honor… for as long as you both shall live” have any meaning to you?  I’m not saying divorce is not an option, but by the time one is making that same vow for the third and fourth time it becomes a bit of a mockery doesn’t it?

“I know I promised to ‘love, honor… for as long as we both shall live’ two or three times before with other women, but this time I mean it.”  

[BayGBM]

My query is not really about having kids, rather it is about making what is ostensibly a lifelong commitment—again and again and again with different women.  Why pretend to make that commitment in a very public and legal fashion if one is prepared to bail when the going gets tough and do it again with the next lady who comes along?  It seems to make a mockery of marriage when people drop in and out of marriage like a fast food restaurant.

If you don’t believe in sex outside of marriage then there is a case for serial marriages, but that does not appear to be your thesis.

[Rome]

Howard you are totally missing the point. The reason why relationships don't last anymore is because of feminism and feminine men. Women have far too much power in our modern society, power which in a healthy society they would be deprived of. There is a logical reason for why black males were allowed to vote before white women in the USA lol.

Marriage usually was permanant back in the first half of the twentieth century and yes people changed then but they learnt to adapt to eachothers changes for the sake of their children and due to peer pressure. If a woman left her husband without a damn good reason back in the early 20th century then she would be scorned by all those around her and left out on her ass.

Today if a woman leaves her husband all her friends/family give her a pat on the back and the mainstream media encourages women to shit all over men. Don't even bother trying to get married unless there is a radical change in society and we revert back to the kind of values system we had 100 years ago.

Howard you are talking like a feminine man, sorry to say it but you are part of the problem if you hadn't already worked out what I posted above.

Marriage back in the old days was a sign that you were going to start a family, it was not just some mandatory thing done by people in a long term relationship. It seems like you have the "modern" view on marriage and are as bad as the air headed women you see on daytime television.

Truth, especially the bold. Men are devastated for years after a divorce. Women have a few girls night outs, ride a new dick and move right along. Almost 70% of divorces are initiated by women. The main reasons are that they don't need men financially any more and they have a disposable attitude when it comes to us. Just get another one.

[BayGBM]

Truth, especially the bold. Men are devastated for years after a divorce. Women have a few girls night outs, ride a new dick and move right along. Almost 70% of divorces are initiated by women. The main reasons are that they don't need men financially any more and they have a disposable attitude when it comes to us. Just get another one.

If that's not the pot calling the kettle black I don't know what is.  How many old men dump their wives at midlife for some PYT?