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Author Topic: What to tell a dying man  (Read 1543 times)
Stark
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« on: January 27, 2013, 02:33:54 AM »

Working colleague of mine is in ( as it looks) last stage of his fight against his cancer, it's growing and they cannot operate plus the chemo seems to have no effect.

He has a blog a and I seem to be the only one from work that comments, I never know what to say, even when he comes into the office for a few days, what do you say? Hey how are you? Well let's see I am fucking dying that's how I am.

What would you say?
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Quickerblade
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« Reply #1 on: January 27, 2013, 02:51:51 AM »

"hang in there"
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calfzilla
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« Reply #2 on: January 27, 2013, 03:04:02 AM »

Ask DA he should know. 

But seriously our big boss died a year or so ago from slow battle with cancer. She even had one of those blogs the last few weeks. Just wish thir famil good things and talk with them about things they care about, golf, kids, food. Remember they are still alive for now.
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« Reply #3 on: January 27, 2013, 04:25:35 AM »

That's a tough one - I assume the dude ain't old enough to part ways legitimately. An old person dying is sad enough but it comes more natural so to speak.

Ask him if he's religious.
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« Reply #4 on: January 27, 2013, 04:43:52 AM »

He won't recover.



On a serious note: Just ask him how he feels and take it from there. Tears = run away. Smile = ask to be added to the will.
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w
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« Reply #5 on: January 27, 2013, 04:45:53 AM »

Ask him if he believes in God and His only begotten Son Jesus Christ.
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calfzilla
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« Reply #6 on: January 27, 2013, 04:48:51 AM »

Does he even lift?
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« Reply #7 on: January 27, 2013, 04:50:39 AM »

I would tell him that he is a true bro and leave it at that
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« Reply #8 on: January 27, 2013, 06:46:27 AM »

"did you pick out your music yet?"..... Cool
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« Reply #9 on: January 27, 2013, 06:58:51 AM »

we'll meet again
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Marty Champions
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« Reply #10 on: January 27, 2013, 07:03:03 AM »

tell him to start lifting weights and consume cabbage puree shakes

life takes some effort to be alive and live, it aint no freebee
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« Reply #11 on: January 27, 2013, 07:07:38 AM »

Give the guy his coffee or tea, stay calm & friendly and don't talk too much. When you start a conversation, talk about simple & positive things.
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« Reply #12 on: January 27, 2013, 07:25:51 AM »

Ask DA he should know. 

But seriously our big boss died a year or so ago from slow battle with cancer. She even had one of those blogs the last few weeks. Just wish thir famil good things and talk with them about things they care about, golf, kids, food. Remember they are still alive for now.

Very cool Calfzilla.

I havent had a conversation with someone that was dying, but i would make them feel better, tell them that they made you feel great and stuff like that, let them die happily and also you get closure and it wont sadden you to much when they do pass.

we all will pass away, some die without warning like accidents etc some get a time frame which i think is cool. its sad but i think its best to make people feel good.
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Lungrenisback
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« Reply #13 on: January 27, 2013, 07:27:34 AM »

Just ask if their's anything you can do, whether it be running family members to the air port, or offering to fuck his wife, you'd be surprised how much that type of thing is appreciated, especially useful when your not a direct family member.  
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Mattyh7688
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« Reply #14 on: January 27, 2013, 07:35:29 AM »

Tell him to up the dose, the Arnold is almost here
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« Reply #15 on: January 27, 2013, 08:10:28 AM »

<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WVT7-AC8qYo" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WVT7-AC8qYo</a>

Tell him to listen to this, he be set.
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Irongrip400
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« Reply #16 on: January 27, 2013, 08:54:30 AM »

Tell him what Liam Neeson told that guy in "The Grey". That was brutal.
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« Reply #17 on: January 27, 2013, 09:01:49 AM »

tell him that we're all worm meat in the end

our lives are all insignificant and short

his death is simply a reorganization of energy



this should make him happy
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« Reply #18 on: January 27, 2013, 09:22:29 AM »

Working colleague of mine is in ( as it looks) last stage of his fight against his cancer, it's growing and they cannot operate plus the chemo seems to have no effect.
He has a blog a and I seem to be the only one from work that comments, I never know what to say, even when he comes into the office for a few days, what do you say? Hey how are you? Well let's see I am fucking dying that's how I am. What would you say?

what do you want to say?
learn from him, deal with your own discomfort and fear.
Not everybody gets the opportunity to prepare for their death. Search out if you can the Nuala O Faolain interview from a few years back. Unless you are completly disconnected from the natives one of them will remember it
If you are competely disconnected maybe this gentleman gives you an opportunity to do some thing about that
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« Reply #19 on: January 27, 2013, 09:23:31 AM »

Serious answer. Talk to him exactly like you always would.
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Lungrenisback
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« Reply #20 on: January 27, 2013, 09:29:12 AM »

Serious answer. Talk to him exactly like you always would.
Really though, in times of need people want normalcy.

The worst thing you can do, is say I'm sorry to hear about your loss type of nonsense. It's just condescending.

If it was any other channel than a blog, I'd say just mention the normal stuff you get on with.
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« Reply #21 on: January 27, 2013, 11:11:33 AM »

Doesn't matter what you say, just say something.  The worst you can do is keep silent.  He will think you just disregarded him already.

Don't make any false or generic offerings to him like most people or empty promises.  If he has accepted the inevitable then it is much easier.  Best thing you can do is just listen if he wants to talk.
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Kwon_2
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« Reply #22 on: January 27, 2013, 12:52:57 PM »

Working colleague of mine is in ( as it looks) last stage of his fight against his cancer, it's growing and they cannot operate plus the chemo seems to have no effect.

He has a blog a and I seem to be the only one from work that comments, I never know what to say, even when he comes into the office for a few days, what do you say? Hey how are you? Well let's see I am fucking dying that's how I am.

What would you say?

If the doc told you you had three months left to live, what would YOU want people to say to you?

"Hey man! Ill buy you a trip to Rio/Thailand/Greece/Haiti and ill give ya 100k to spend on Hoes before you die"

or

"How ya doing old chap? Keep that chin up! It's not gonna be long now"
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« Reply #23 on: January 27, 2013, 12:55:26 PM »

when I die and go to heaven, Tito24, Wiggs and I will sit and browse Getbig together.
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« Reply #24 on: January 27, 2013, 01:00:09 PM »

Working colleague of mine is in ( as it looks) last stage of his fight against his cancer, it's growing and they cannot operate plus the chemo seems to have no effect.

He has a blog a and I seem to be the only one from work that comments, I never know what to say, even when he comes into the office for a few days, what do you say? Hey how are you? Well let's see I am fucking dying that's how I am.

What would you say?
^^
Im Namen der deutschen fuhrer ich hiermit vergeben Sie das Ritterkreuz ...
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