You heard it here first Shizzo!
If you write Lobstah on your hand (and then post a pic of it here on GB), Lobstah will be so overwhelmed with emotion that she will agree to have sex with you, all thanks to your dedication by writing (or even tattooing) Lobstah on your hand, glutes and back.
Or maybe the Pink Pachyderm in the Glasshouse is a Hippo instead of an Elephant