That wasn't very nice of her, what she said. 
It could be that her drive is really that much lower than yours, in which case you'll be pesky trying to turn her on, or there's something else at work. So...her not wanting sex could be anything else besides not wanting sex...stress at work, insecurity, unresolved issues, etc.
You're going to have to figure out why it takes so much for her to consent to sex. If you've told her that sex is one of the few ways you feel close to her, and she won't go to bed more often...that's sad. If she told you that love notes, dinner, and asparagus made her feel loved or close to you, you should be all up on that writing a note that dinner will be asparagus.
Hi The Boob (fun to write that one):
I've been surrounding the issue and digging at various points to try and find reasons.
She's said "I feel unfulfilled at work". So I took a new higher stress job to make more money, so she could quit her job, find her dream job, and go get it. Which she did.
She's said "the kids drive me crazy - I have no time to be anything but a mom". So I took over getting the kids ready in the morning, making lunches, driving them to school.
She's said "all I do is chores". So I do all the laundry and cooking now (I love cooking, so I've always done that), and dishes. I draw the line at cleaning the bathroom. I'd rather be celibate.
She's said she hates grocery shopping...so I do that and take the kids with me so she has a couple of hours per week to just hang around the house and de-compress.
She's said she doesn't feel pretty, so I fund a twice monthly spa/haircut appt with a stylist. And I took a portion of my bonus this year, and just turned it over to her "no strings attached" to go on a killer shopping spree.
She's said she has no time to let her hair down with her friends. So I paid for a trip for her and her two girlfriends two months ago to an exclusive spa to do girly crap at the spa.
Often, her excuse is just "I don't feel sexy". But I make sure I remind her daily that I love her, and how attractive I think she is. I think she thinks I'm saying that to "try and score" or I'm "just saying it".
So I am trying. This is not an exhaustive list, and I'm not doing it to create a sense of entitlement for either of us. But merely to illustrate I'm trying.
And I'm not willing to give up. I'll try the next thing. I haven't bought lingerie or anything like that for her. Maybe that's the next step? Seems obviously self-serving on my part, which is why I've avoided it.
I know there's one thing this board hasn't asked (and I'm surprised): no one has said "hey snx, maybe you just suck in bed and are hung like a sparrow". I don't, and I'm not, but I know no one here will believe that. That's ok. I'm just very sure it's not that, and I won't go into gory details because frankly, that's just rude! :-)
