Has gear mentally affected you

[A Righteous Sort]

Now for my story. I've had an imaginary world in my head since I was a kid. It wasn't the kind with dragons and princesses.
My fantasy world was safe and loving. In this world, my Dad didn't hit me, no one yelled at me or got angry and me for obsessively counting things.
In this world, I felt like I belonged.
My reality wasn't so great as a child, but it did improve as I grew older and learned to stand up for myself.
But being a teenager was a whole new ball game.
I felt so inadequate, I was never good enough.
I couldn't live up to my own (unreasonably high) standards and that made me sad.
So I created my own little world in my head.
Although this time, I didn't just want my life to be perfect.
I made myself perfect. I gave myself a personality which I perceived as 'perfect'.
I eliminated all my flaws, I completely changed my physical appearance.
I had so many talents.
My favourite thing to do was imagine how impressed my friends and family would be if they saw my 'talents' but my personality in my dream world meant I was modest, so I didn't show my talents to anyone in real life.
That sounds so crazy but it was what kept me going.
It was the reason I would get out of bed in the morning.
My dream world got mixed with reality and I didn't know what was real and what wasn't anymore, I was having constant panic attacks and I was always so scared.
So I tried to leave this world, but I couldn't.
I didn't want to.
It kept on pulling me back, it was basically all I had.
It took awhile but I untangled my dream world from my reality.
I still spend a lot of time in this made up world and it does still interfere with my reality sometimes, but I don't mind.
It's one of the only places where I feel truly safe and happy and losing it would be like losing a part of me.

Hahahaha owned

[SF1900]

Darren, you're on gear? For christ sake, Goodrum looks better than you 

[Kim Jong Bob]

When i was with my ex i told her that i used to take dat der roidz when i was younger and that im going to do it again so my kid has the strongest dad in kindergarden (lol no). She got alittlte bit mad cause her psyko ex got angry on roids but he was a nutcade before to. But after a couple of months she said she didnt notice any difference in my mood, only difference was i was a bigger perv on. No she plans on jumping on the anavar train

[Roger Bacon]

I think the gear ive done has screwed my head up a bit. Im always in a rush, i look forward to somthing say a movie at the cinema then when im there i cant wait to get out of there, then i look forward to going to a freinds, then once i get there i cant wait to leave. Soccer games, MMA fights, etc etc i look forward to things then as soon as im there i cant wait to get the fuck away on to the next thing.

I'm the exact same way, I can't really just sit back and enjoy anything. Unless I'm drinking, then I want to stay all night.

I've never used gear.

Funny how you said you look forward to it (I'm the same)...

[Kim Jong Bob]

I'm the exact same way, I can't really just sit back and enjoy anything.

I've never used gear. (No homo)

Funny how you said you look forward to it (I'm the same)...

fixed it

[Roger Bacon]

fixed it

Thanks! 

[calfzilla]

Social anxiety disorder of peace.

[dyslexic]

The bodybuilders that were really pushing the limits in the late 80's and all of the 90's are some seriously fucked up individuals.

You'd swear they were ex-meth heads.


It fucks you up... permanently.


It does depend on how long you stayed on and how much shit you used. Some guys had enough sense to stop in time... others... they are still trying to be who they once were, others are just managing to get through each day.


I could name-drop, but that would be totally ignorant. Just trust me when I say, long-term high dosages of shit fucks you up permanently. It doesn't just have to be juice....


Young guys aren't gonna want to believe it, which is why they always say when they get older "if I could do it all over again" or "if I knew then what I know now" ~ these quips and quotes are around for a reason.


Some guys just DO NOT KNOW where to draw the line or where to call it quits.


Anyone my age or close to it who has been in the industry as long as I have will agree... unless you are blind or in denial.


Play today. Pay tomorrow.


It's that way with EVERYTHING.


Don't believe me? Fine.


It hurts me NOT.


There will come a day when EVERYONE will look back and reflect over their past. Unfortunately, most will have regrets. Bodybuilders? Possibly more than most.

[d0nny2600]

Yeah big time, first time actually got violent last week. Swear down this is truth. Got to control this shit.

Sarah started accusing me of shagging around again, said fuck this, threw straight right at the kitchen cupboard (thought I broke my finger), fucking thing went flying 10 meters of the hinge took me forever to fix that shit later.

Then I went gym and banged out chest in a mood and start throwing weights around like a muthafucker.

Then went whorehouse popped 100mg Kamagra and fucked this 20 year old latino chick and then went Nandos.

Then went Josephine's later in evening got some flowers and brought back to my girl and said soz took her out for Chinese got her pissed and fucked her too.

Then I woke up next day and pinned again.





  

Did the cupboard hit back?

[The Wizard of Truth]

Im on gear about 8 years now, I am a borderline psychopath, I might have been anyway had I not taken gear, who knows, I can hide it well

[d0nny2600]

Im on gear about 8 years now, I am a borderline psychopath, I might have been anyway had I not taken gear, who knows, I can hide it well

Im a lunatic without gear...Im calmer when on

[The Wizard of Truth]

Im a lunatic without gear...Im calmer when on

x2
Depression, anxiety and incredibly short-tempered I am off the gear

[bigmc]

the only thing that ever affected my moods negatively was tren

on test I just wanted to fuck all the time

imo it only enhances moods you are already subject too

if you are angry you will be slightly more angry etc

[WillGrant]

[d0nny2600]

Great song/gig. Your whole Booty debacle is now forgotten

[WillGrant]

Great song/gig. Your whole Booty debacle is now forgotten

I put that down to a bad curry - that would make any ones booty bottom explode runny shite 

[d0nny2600]

I put that down to a bad curry - that would make any ones booty bottom explode runny shite 

So thats why she liked you....

[Uncle Junior]

the only thing that ever affected my moods negatively was tren

on test I just wanted to fuck all the time

imo it only enhances moods you are already subject too

if you are angry you will be slightly more angry etc

Yeah fucking test makes you horny as fuck, I add in 75mg Prov + 100mg Kamagra before a session and fucking turn into Peter North.

Can't wait to try tren.

[WillGrant]

[Van_Bilderass]

Pretty interesting. Steroids make exercise more reinforcing. This may cause steroid dependence.

Exercise reinforcement, stress, and β-endorphins: An initial examination of exercise in anabolic-androgenic steroid dependence.
Hildebrandt T1, Shope S2, Varangis E2, Klein D3, Pfaff DW4, Yehuda R5.
Author information
Abstract
BACKGROUND:

Anabolic-androgenic steroids (AASs) are abused primarily in the context of intense exercise and for the purposes of increasing muscle mass as opposed to drug-induced euphoria. AASs also modulate the HPA axis and may increase the reinforcing value of exercise through changes to stress hormone and endorphin release. To test this hypothesis, 26 adult males drawn from a larger study on AAS use completed a progressive ratio task designed to examine the reinforcing value of exercise relative to financial reinforcer.
METHOD:

Sixteen experienced and current users (8 on-cycle, 8 off-cycle) and 10 controls matched on quantity×frequency of exercise, age, and education abstained from exercise for 24h prior to testing and provided 24-h cortisol, plasma cortisol, ACTH, β-endorphin samples, and measures of mood, compulsive exercise, and body image.
RESULTS:

Between group differences indicated that on-cycle AAS users had the highest β-endorphin levels, lowest cortisol levels, higher ACTH levels than controls. Conversely, off-cycle AAS users had the highest cortisol and ACTH levels, but the lowest β-endorphin levels. Exercise value was positively correlated with β-endorphin and symptoms of AAS dependence.
CONCLUSION:

The HPA response to AASs may explain why AASs are reinforcing in humans and exercise may play a key role in the development of AAS dependence.

[Mr Nobody]

No not one bit.