most distasteful joke you've heard?

[nzmusclemonster]

Mine:

What's the difference between a rock and a dead baby?






You can't fuck a rock.

 

[BigCyp]

What do you do if an epileptic falls in your hottub?

Throw your laundry in.

[BigCyp]

I've got some great Casey Anthony Jokes


But I can't tell them, my mom will kill me

[wikkedonez]

What can an elevator do that a Mexican can't. .....raise their kids...

[MONSTER_TRICEPS]

A mexican and two black guys are sitting in a car. Who's driving?



The cops.

[MORTALCOIL]

What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler?

Michael Phelps can finish a race.

[el numero uno]

Branch winning the Arnold's classic.

[MikMaq]

What looks like a vampire and is dead?

[MONSTER_TRICEPS]

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza?


A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.




How many jews fit in a vw bug?


2 in the front seat, 2 in the back seat, and 50 in the ashtray.

[BB]

This one you can sorta work like an aristocrats joke -

Daughter wants to borrow the car, so she asks her dad -

Daughter - "Daddy can I borrow the car to go to the mall with Michelle and Nancy?"

Dad goes - "I don't know, it's new and I don't like those girls, but I'll tell you what, it's been a while, and yer mom ain't getting it done, so you blow me, and you can have the car for a while".

So she protests for a few minutes, and then starts blowing him, about two minutes in, she stops and goes 'jeez dad, your dick really tastes like shit!".

He looks down at her and goes "Oh? , your brother asked for $20, remind me to get it from him next week."

[BB]

Other ones I've liked -

Q - "Why did God make (insert racial group here) stink?"

A - "So the blind can hate them too."


This is my absolute favorite to open with at parties -

Horse walks into a bar....

Bartender goes "Why the long face?"

Horse sez - "I just found out I've got the AIDS".

[agenda21nwo]

Mine:

What's the difference between a rock and a dead baby?






You can't fuck a rock.

 :-

You clearly come from a bad social spectrum.

[Super Natural]

what has two legs, sits in a corner and bleeds profusely?




Half a dog

[kh300]

What do you tell a women with 2 black eyes?
-nothing, you already told her twice

What do you call a woman with one black eye?
-a good listener

[240 is Back]

3

[wikkedonez]

White guy walks up to the bank and sees a little black kid standing on the corner...guy comes out and the kid says ..."hey mister any change?".....the guy says "nope your still black"..

[Royalty]

Q: What do you call the useless, worthless skin that is located on the outside of the vagina?






A: the woman

[Papper]

The one Bob Chic and Dennis James pulled at the 2013 O.

[pedro01]

Leper walks into a full restaurant & looks for a table.

Sees a guy on his own and says "do you mind if I share your table? I am a leper and if that puts you off, it's OK"

Guy on the table tells him it's no problem and to sit down.

So first course comes and the leper is eating and he sees the guy retch. Leper says "Look - I can move if I'm making you sick" but the guy insists it's OK.

Second course come and the guy vomits in his mouth a bit but swallows it down. Leper says "I can see I'm making you uncomfortable here, I'll go" - guy insists it's not him and tells him to stay.

Third course comes and the guy pukes - pukes over the table, over the floor, over the fucking lepers shoes.

Leper says "I'm really sorry, I will go now".

Guy says "no, sit down - it's not you"

Leper says "if it's not me, what is it then?"...

"that filthy bastard behind you dipping his bread in your neck"

[pedro01]

English guy walks into a bar in Texas. Sees a funny shape bowl on the floor.

Asks the bar man "what's that on the floor?". Bar man tells him it's a spitoon.

Our English hero, always up for a bet, says to the bar man - "I bet $100 I can drink some of that". Bar man says "OK- you are on".

So he lifts the spitoon to his lips and gulp, gulp, gulp

Barman says "fuck man, that's gross - Ok - you win $100"

But the guy just shakes his head and carries on - gulp, gulp, gulp

The barman says "man, stop you are making me feel sick"

But no - just gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp

The barman can't take any more and pukes violently all over the bar

But our man just carries on - gulp, gulp, gulp

The barman dry retches so violently he shits his pants

And finally one last gulp and the man puts down the empty spitoon.

The barman looks up through his red, watery eyes "what the fuck man, it was $100 to drink just some of it - why did you drink the lot?"

"Cause it was all in one lump"

[pedro01]

How do you make an Ethiopian woman pregnant?

Come on her feet and let the flies do the rest...

As an aside - I used to live in Knoxville TN, I was at a bar and a couple of good old boys from Alabama were in there. I ended up talking to them for some reason (probably because they said "hey, boy come 'ere") and the above joke was about the 2nd thing they said to me.

[basil]

Why did the Indian cross the road? 

To sleep in the other ditch.

[Nirvana]

Black Jews have to sit in the back of the oven.

[Nirvana]

Why is 6 afraid of 7?

[El Diablo Blanco]

What do you call 4 black guys in a car?

-Tinted Windows


How do you babysit black kids?

-Put velcro on the ceiling and have them jump up and down on the bed

What do you call a black guy in a suit?

-The defendant

What do you call 10000 dead jews?

- A good start

What did the blonde say when the cop pulled her over?

- oh geez, another blowjob

What do you get when you have 32 native Indians?

- a full set of teeth

What do you say to a black guy in a nice car?

-Stop! thief

What do you do if you accidentally run over a jew in your car?

-back up and run him over again