Given the absolute nature of your statements I can only assume that you've humbled yourself and surrendered to the will of God according to his terms. That you genuinely desired to enter into a relationship with God, that you admitted your sin, you accepted Christ as Savior and asked that he reveal himself to you and you experienced absolutely nothing, correct?
I did. I was born a Catholic ... went to Sunday school, church ... the whole deal. Then when I was in my late-20s I did what you state above. I figured I'd reinvest in my faith and went at it with open heart and conviction.
I even "felt" the presence of god at various stages of my delusion. At the time it felt entirely real. In hindsight, my subconscious mind allowed me to believe all this shite because I
wanted to.
Then after a couple of years, my intellect and strength of reason wouldn't let me continue such a farce.
With each passing year since, my awakening has been increasingly impacting, and for me to consider that I actually
believed such utter nonsense is troubling.
Religion is horrific and a bane to all human existence.
As another says, it's a form of mental illness.
My mental health is VASTLY improved since allowing truth and reason to infiltrate my life.