My friend seems to be happiest in his "forever alone/single" life

[Thong Maniac]

people who dont have/want kids are nihilists at the core, period.

Those who have them never thought about life and its meaning. They re just blindly following a bestial instinct whatever the way they sugarcoat it, "explain" it. There s nothing to explain, all animals reproduce automatically.

Troll?

[Primemuscle]

I can dig it man. The thing thats hard for me is ive always been different and not traditional. I dont know if i will be regretful at 40/50 or if ill be like "fuck yeah! Going to australia for 2 weeks just cuz i fuckin feel like it". Part of me thinks i wont be true to myself if i did have kids because now it sounds dreadful and totally life changing. I enjoy my life now and the "kids" topic is this like stressful hanging entity over me because my wife wants them. I just cant seem to relax and live life because I have this huge decision weighing on me. Its making my early thirties tough mentally. It doesnt help either that almost all of our couple friends are on their first baby now, the odd thing is, some of the women we know who had kids but didnt really want them (thier husbands did), have turned out to be huge unpleasant assholes. Its troublesome

Like I said before, we are all different. What works for one doesn't necessarily work for another. You're still fairly young, there is always a possibility that you'll change your mind or the woman you are with will change it for you. When many women get close the end of their expected childbearing years, they decide to have a child before it is too late. A few do not.

Have you considered that you might just have a fear of the unknown....of being a parent. As long as humans have been around, many if not most have been successful at parenting. It's part of the usual life cycle. A child or children will change your life. It doesn't have to change it as drastically as some folks seem to think. Generally speaking, the hands on part of being a parent starts to end when the child approaches adulthood. Eighteen or twenty years isn't that long, you'll find out over time. If you look back at your life twenty years, it probably doesn't seem so long ago that you were approaching your teens.

Even if you become a parent, you will have plenty of time to travel after your child is grown. Heck, a lot of folks travel with their kids. You could still hit those Australian beaches you say you want to when your in your 40's.

[Primemuscle]

^^Yes, this makes a lot of sense. Theres no such thing as "real love". At least not these days. Sad though.

Don't think because you have not found real love, that it doesn't exist. Many of us have found love and a life partner.

[Thong Maniac]

Like I said before, we are all different. What works for one doesn't necessarily work for another. You're still fairly young, there is always a possibility that you'll change your mind or the woman you are with will change it for you. When many women get close the end of their expected childbearing years, they decide to have a child before it is too late. A few do not.

Have you considered that you might just have a fear of the unknown....of being a parent. As long as humans have been around, many if not most have been successful at parenting. It's part of the usual life cycle. A child or children will change your life. It doesn't have to change it as drastically as some folks seem to think. Generally speaking, the hands on part of being a parent starts to end when the child approaches adulthood. Eighteen or twenty years isn't that long, you'll find out over time. If you look back at your life twenty years, it probably doesn't seem so long ago that you were approaching your teens.

Even if you become a parent, you will have plenty of time to travel after your child is grown. Heck, a lot of folks travel with their kids. You could still hit those Australian beaches you say you want to when your in your 40's.

Thanks man, i appreciate your insight here. Its really helpful actually

[The Ugly]

people who dont have/want kids are nihilists at the core, period.

Those who have them never thought about life and its meaning. They re just blindly following a bestial instinct whatever the way they sugarcoat it, "explain" it. There s nothing to explain, all animals reproduce automatically.

Such a base understanding of the human animal. Very caught up in evolutionary instincts, yet you seem to conclude the process stopped once we abandoned caves.

Psyche hasn't evolved beyond sapien one?

[Primemuscle]

you don't get to 33K posts on Getbig with toddlers running around your apartment.

This is very true for most people. It seems to me that 33k posts on Getbig is not comparable to having a toddler running around your home. But hey, whatever floats your boat.

[local hero]

This, though to sometimes be able to relive a night or so of that old life would be nice.

Yeh, couple of nights a year would be nice... I could manage more than 1 go without falling asleep no problems

[James28]

You get to your 40's , 50's and you have no kids by choice youve failed at life, no good woman will put up with that shit, youl have fun times sitting on your own at christmass etc, drift from stupid woman to woman.. Sounds realy great....

It sounds great in your 20's, perhaps early 30's, after that your a fucking looser, and only the real weirdos on here will back you up


Thong maniac, just let it happen naturaly, no body is ever ready for kids, but if you have stable home, money that's all that's needed, just grow up, kids will put all the trivial shit you think is important into perspective in a good way

Haha, no it's not sweetheart. They've 'failed' only in your eyes because your values you've come up with (the values of an insignificant guy living an insignificant life - don't be upset, we're all like that) doesn't agree with their life choices. You're on of 7 billion creatures with 7 billion differing opinions my friend, I can assure you yours is just as dumb as the next guy. I envy the wealthy single 50yo with good physique, full head of hair busting his nut in 19yo struggling Swedish models whilst you admire the 50yo with a 19yo kid paying off his mortgage and thinking about replacing the ageing family wagon. Both will die, both won't be remembered. What truly matters is whether THEY were happy with their choices and had a good and happy life. Not what one of the 7 billion shitting and pissing creatures thought of their choices.

[Thong Maniac]

Haha, no it's not sweetheart. They've 'failed' only in your eyes because your values you've come up with (the values of an insignificant guy living an insignificant life - don't be upset, we're all like that) doesn't agree with their life choices. You're on of 7 billion creatures with 7 billion differing opinions my friend, I can assure you yours is just as dumb as the next guy. I envy the wealthy single 50yo with good physique, full head of hair busting his nut in 19yo struggling Swedish models whilst you admire the 50yo with a 19yo kid paying off his mortgage and thinking about replacing the ageing family wagon. Both will die, both won't be remembered. What truly matters is whether THEY were happy with their choices and had a good and happy life. Not what one of the 7 billion shitting and pissing creatures thought of their choices.

Damn son that was well said actually. Great points

[latiuss]

Haha, no it's not sweetheart. They've 'failed' only in your eyes because your values you've come up with (the values of an insignificant guy living an insignificant life - don't be upset, we're all like that) doesn't agree with their life choices. You're on of 7 billion creatures with 7 billion differing opinions my friend, I can assure you yours is just as dumb as the next guy. I envy the wealthy single 50yo with good physique, full head of hair busting his nut in 19yo struggling Swedish models whilst you admire the 50yo with a 19yo kid paying off his mortgage and thinking about replacing the ageing family wagon. Both will die, both won't be remembered. What truly matters is whether THEY were happy with their choices and had a good and happy life. Not what one of the 7 billion shitting and pissing creatures thought of their choices.

prolly just my mental state but damn that moved me lol Two middle fingers up to the world

[DroppingPlates]

people who dont have/want kids are nihilists at the core, period.

Those who have them never thought about life and its meaning. They re just blindly following a bestial instinct whatever the way they sugarcoat it, "explain" it. There s nothing to explain, all animals reproduce automatically.

Haha, who's the nihilist here? Think for yourself, that's already a challenge for you, you dumb reproducing sheep, who's contributing to overpopulation

[James28]

prolly just my mental state but damn that moved me lol Two middle fingers up to the world

And that's all it is, all it ever was, and all it ever will be. The 'alpha males' here are very very very quick to conform to standards. Maybe some is happy with those standards, maybe they secretly thought they never had a choice and have to make the very best of a life already charted for them, without their own input, even though they insist that's what they wanted.

There's no shame in choosing the road less traveled. Or maybe in today's world where men are slowly waking up, a road with a bit more traffic than before.

But I cannot stress enough, you NEED to do what makes you happy. Not what some inconsequential nobody living an average life in a nobody town tells you makes THEM happy. His road is not yours. And I can tell you right now, a lot of them is trapped up to their necks in regret and secretly envy you. Off course their last shreds of pride can't admit that so they trump up their choices. A bit like a bit of machinery running out of fuel, increasing noise the last few seconds before dying for good  

Don't listen to me, or whoever the fuck in this thread. 50% of the people are steeped in delusions, 25% convinced themselves they're happy (and now trying to convince you), 20% are suicidal and 5% is truly happy. You'll know who they are because they won't ever push their BS onto you. They're the ones worth listening to.

[Thong Maniac]

And that's all it is, all it ever was, and all it ever will be. The 'alpha males' here are very very very quick to conform to standards. Maybe some is happy with those standards, maybe they secretly thought they never had a choice and have to make the very best of a life already charted for them, without their own input, even though they insist that's what they wanted.

There's no shame in choosing the road less traveled. Or maybe in today's world where men are slowly waking up, a road with a bit more traffic than before.

But I cannot stress enough, you NEED to do what makes you happy. Not what some inconsequential nobody living an average life in a nobody town tells you makes THEM happy. His road is not yours. And I can tell you right now, a lot of them is trapped up to their necks in regret and secretly envy you. Off course their last shreds of pride can't admit that so they trump up their choices. A bit like a bit of machinery running out of fuel, increasing noise the last few seconds before dying for good  

Don't listen to me, or whoever the fuck in this thread. 50% of the people are steeped in delusions, 25% convinced themselves they're happy (and now trying to convince you), 20% are suicidal and 5% is truly happy. You'll know who they are because they won't ever push their BS onto you. They're the ones worth listening to.

Man this james dude is deep. Love his take on things. Keep it up man

[local hero]

Haha, no it's not sweetheart. They've 'failed' only in your eyes because your values you've come up with (the values of an insignificant guy living an insignificant life - don't be upset, we're all like that) doesn't agree with their life choices. You're on of 7 billion creatures with 7 billion differing opinions my friend, I can assure you yours is just as dumb as the next guy. I envy the wealthy single 50yo with good physique, full head of hair busting his nut in 19yo struggling Swedish models whilst you admire the 50yo with a 19yo kid paying off his mortgage and thinking about replacing the ageing family wagon. Both will die, both won't be remembered. What truly matters is whether THEY were happy with their choices and had a good and happy life. Not what one of the 7 billion shitting and pissing creatures thought of their choices.

Well its your opinion.. I don't agree but you said it well..

[f450]

Nah, I fucked plenty women before I settled down, I realy couldn't be arsed with all that shit now, all I saying is since kids I realise what a shallow life id have if I never had them

This is because you are an average man with average dreams and abilities, with no hope pf achieving anything other than a distinctly average existence. And my friend, there is nothing  wrong with that. IT IS PERFECTLY FINE. Just understand why you feel that way. You are not a Steve Jobs or Tesla or Gates.. and neither are 99% of us. It makes perfect sense that you look at your life and feel empty because you have left nothing of real substance behind that will contribute to humanity in a significant way..... Unless you have kids.

All animals can procreate and have kids so  this makes it by definition a completely unremarkeable "accomplishment".... but only very few humas can develop vaccines or products that literally change the course of civilization.

The scientific explanation as to why you feel the way you do about the kids is the hormone Oxytocin which increases exponentially when you have kids..... You are being manipulated by your dna to ensure the continuity of the genes by sacrificing yourself, "literally" if necessary.

we are just sentient carbon based life forms.... born, live, die... like every other carbon based life form on the planet.

[Thong Maniac]

This is because you are an average man with average dreams and abilities, with no hope pf achieving anything other than a distinctly average existence. And my friend, there is nothing  wrong with that. IT IS PERFECTLY FINE. Just understand why you feel that way. You are not a Steve Jobs or Tesla or Gates.. and neither are 99% of us. It makes perfect sense that you look at your life and feel empty because you have left nothing of real substance behind that will contribute to humanity in a significant way..... Unless you have kids.

All animals can procreate and have kids so  this makes it by definition a completely unremarkeable "accomplishment".... but only very few humas can develop vaccines or products that literally change the course of civilization.

The scientific explanation as to why you feel the way you do about the kids is the hormone Oxytocin which increases exponentially when you have kids..... You are being manipulated by your dna to ensure the continuity of the genes by sacrificing yourself, "literally" if necessary.

we are just sentient carbon based life forms.... born, live, die... like every other carbon based life form on the planet.

Man that is so bleak and sad, but absolutely fucking true. Really puts shit into a different perspective. Im actually internally struggling with the greatness thing, as I never will. Im the 99 percent and as i get older, making money and this trivial existence of "career success", spending on clothes and nice cars and consumeristic BS just seems so fucking pointless and dull

[che]

This is because you are an average man with average dreams and abilities, with no hope pf achieving anything other than a distinctly average existence. And my friend, there is nothing  wrong with that. IT IS PERFECTLY FINE. Just understand why you feel that way. You are not a Steve Jobs or Tesla or Gates.. and neither are 99% of us. It makes perfect sense that you look at your life and feel empty because you have left nothing of real substance behind that will contribute to humanity in a significant way..... Unless you have kids.

All animals can procreate and have kids so  this makes it by definition a completely unremarkeable "accomplishment".... but only very few humas can develop vaccines or products that literally change the course of civilization.

The scientific explanation as to why you feel the way you do about the kids is the hormone Oxytocin which increases exponentially when you have kids..... You are being manipulated by your dna to ensure the continuity of the genes by sacrificing yourself, "literally" if necessary.

we are just sentient carbon based life forms.... born, live, die... like every other carbon based life form on the planet.

You are not  Jobs ,Tesla or Gates , you won't develop vaccines or products that literally change the course of civilization, you don't/won't have kids .
Basically you are a waste of space , please die.

[mazrim]

This is because you are an average man with average dreams and abilities, with no hope pf achieving anything other than a distinctly average existence. And my friend, there is nothing  wrong with that. IT IS PERFECTLY FINE. Just understand why you feel that way. You are not a Steve Jobs or Tesla or Gates.. and neither are 99% of us. It makes perfect sense that you look at your life and feel empty because you have left nothing of real substance behind that will contribute to humanity in a significant way..... Unless you have kids.

Jobs and Gates both had/have children.....So the thought behind your basic premise is wrong in most aspects.
.

[local hero]

You are not  Jobs ,Tesla or Gates , you won't develop vaccines or products that literally change the course of civilization, you don't/won't have kids .
Basically you are a waste of space , please die.

i was about to post more or less the same thing.......... no one on this site has ever or will ever achieve anything significant, people with that intellect will never grace a gossip and opinions bodybuilding board, so your point is?

All the anti family bullshit will always sound cool, just as the fellas who have long term gf's will always try and justify not getting married with similar shite about not needing a piece of paper

your not being alpha, your being a total homo who needs a reality check to snap out of the peter pan syndrome..

as i said, i fucked loads of hot women before i settled down, but even mid 20's i was getting sick of the clubbing/pulling scene... and we all used to look at the 35+ blokes still trying to be cool and snigger.... 40+ no kids, no woman, its sad as fuck... no matter what toys or whatever you buy to try and make up for it

Its not jealousy either , most of those blokes will have some very dark depressing times sitting alone, the suicide rate for men in their 30's, single, alone is very high... and most of those lads were supposabley living the life

[James28]

i was about to post more or less the same thing.......... no one on this site has ever or will ever achieve anything significant, people with that intellect will never grace a gossip and opinions bodybuilding board, so your point is?

All the anti family bullshit will always sound cool, just as the fellas who have long term gf's will always try and justify not getting married with similar shite about not needing a piece of paper

your not being alpha, your being a total homo who needs a reality check to snap out of the peter pan syndrome..

as i said, i fucked loads of hot women before i settled down, but even mid 20's i was getting sick of the clubbing/pulling scene... and we all used to look at the 35+ blokes still trying to be cool and snigger.... 40+ no kids, no woman, its sad as fuck... no matter what toys or whatever you buy to try and make up for it

Its not jealousy either , most of those blokes will have some very dark depressing times sitting alone, the suicide rate for men in their 30's, single, alone is very high... and most of those lads were supposabley living the life

Funny reading this post. Really does expose the limits of 'you'.

In your world there seems to be only 2 kinds of people.

A. The guy that gets married, has kids and lives happily ever after
B. The loser that stands in a night club trying to compete with 20yo guys and goes home alone and sits on his bed with suicidal thoughts.

That's it? That's the only two guys in the world? In your opinion to truly grow up you need to have a ceremony with rings and champagne and a big cake, go home, three pumps a squirt, and hey, you're an adult!! Within the space of an expensive party you've left the 'loser' life behind and can now proceed to judge, along with the other guys that also had big parties and a church ceremony, those that don't want it.

You think everyone shithead that ever had a kid is now suddenly more accomplished?

Methinks you're still the same shithead, now just with a shithead kid. Nothing deeper than that really 

[local hero]

Funny reading this post. Really does expose the limits of 'you'.

In your world there seems to be only 2 kinds of people.

A. The guy that gets married, has kids and lives happily ever after
B. The loser that stands in a night club trying to compete with 20yo guys and goes home alone and sits on his bed with suicidal thoughts.

That's it? That's the only two guys in the world? In your opinion to truly grow up you need to have a ceremony with rings and champagne and a big cake, go home, three pumps a squirt, and hey, you're an adult!! Within the space of an expensive party you've left the 'loser' life behind and can now proceed to judge, along with the other guys that also had big parties and a church ceremony, those that don't want it.

You think everyone shithead that ever had a kid is now suddenly more accomplished?

Methinks you're still the same shithead, now just with a shithead kid. Nothing deeper than that really 

youve obviously been plagued by deeply depressing thoughts your self to move this from a discussion to a slanging match... feel for you bro

[James28]

youve obviously been plagued by deeply depressing thoughts your self to move this from a discussion to a slanging match... feel for you bro

You obviously reached the end of your ability to debate so you reduce to the aforementioned Peter Pan syndrome ... feel for your children bro.

[local hero]

You obviously reached the end of your ability to debate so you reduce to the aforementioned Peter Pan syndrome ... feel for your children bro.

you turned it into a personal attack... put the pills down

please elaborate on the other type of man you eluded to, as i only recognise the two types...

[Thong Maniac]

Damn shit got real...

[James28]

you turned it into a personal attack... put the pills down

please elaborate on the other type of man you eluded to, as i only recognise the two types...

I bet you're probably the first guy to stand up and proclaim how 'open minded' you are.

Well, as long as everyone agrees with you