DivorceCorp if this doesn't scare you from getting married nothing will.

[phreak]

What benefit does marriage have?

Other than ownership and religious mumbojumbo?

There really is no point to it.

I won't discuss the intricacies of our legal system, but you're wrong. There is a tax benefit to marrying, and for divorce proceedings it essentially makes no difference: long-time cohabitation is treated as a de facto marriage. So yes, upsides only.

[Azure]

Great post!

I think some folks are "called" to have children and make loving, devoted parents.
Others , like me and my current wife are NOT meant to have kids, so we didn't .

The only ones with regrets are those that listened to others and didn't follow their own inner yearnings.

Bingo!

People should not do things because they feel that's what they SHOULD do.

[Ronnie Rep]

Great post!

I think some folks are "called" to have children and make loving, devoted parents.
Others , like me and my current wife are NOT meant to have kids, so we didn't .

The only ones with regrets are those that listened to others and didn't follow their own inner yearnings.

Absolutely!!!

[Thin Lizzy]

Then you're not doing it right or you're not working on your intimacy.  Men who have had lots of sex with random chicks will tell you THAT gets old after a while. Having one woman who actually cares about you does not compare to women who just want to screw you bc they think they will get something out of it

I feel like men who have never experienced that think it's much better than it really is.

Boy, lots of "exceptions," here.

The studies and research show otherwise:

The frequency with which couples engage in sex is affected both by the partners' ages and by the duration of their relationship. In general, older couples have sex less frequently than younger couples. For example, sociologist Vaughn Call and colleagues (1995) surveyed over six thousand married people living in the United States and reported that sexual activity was highest among the youngest respondents (those ranging in age from nineteen to twenty-nine, who had sex approximately ten to twelve times per month), became progressively lower in older age groups (e.g., four to seven times a month among forty- and fifty-yearolds), and reached its nadir among respondents in their seventies (who engaged in intercourse with their spouses less than twice a month). The majority of studies also find that the longer couples have been married, the less often they have sex (Rao and DeMaris 1995; Samson et al. 1991). This decline may be greatest during the first year or the first few years of the relationship. For example, William James (1981) analyzed diaries kept by newlywed couples over the course of their first year of marriage. Couples reported having sex on seventeen or more occasions during their first month of married life; however, by the end of the year, their rate of intercourse had declined to approximately eight times a month.

Read more: Marital Sex - The Decline Of Sexual Frequency Over Time - Family, Couples, and Month - JRank Articles http://family.jrank.org/pages/1103/Marital-Sex-Decline-Sexual-Frequency-Over-Time.html#ixzz3n8wEzAYQ

[Azure]

Boy, lots of "exceptions," here.

The studies and research show otherwise:

The frequency with which couples engage in sex is affected both by the partners' ages and by the duration of their relationship. In general, older couples have sex less frequently than younger couples. For example, sociologist Vaughn Call and colleagues (1995) surveyed over six thousand married people living in the United States and reported that sexual activity was highest among the youngest respondents (those ranging in age from nineteen to twenty-nine, who had sex approximately ten to twelve times per month), became progressively lower in older age groups (e.g., four to seven times a month among forty- and fifty-yearolds), and reached its nadir among respondents in their seventies (who engaged in intercourse with their spouses less than twice a month). The majority of studies also find that the longer couples have been married, the less often they have sex (Rao and DeMaris 1995; Samson et al. 1991). This decline may be greatest during the first year or the first few years of the relationship. For example, William James (1981) analyzed diaries kept by newlywed couples over the course of their first year of marriage. Couples reported having sex on seventeen or more occasions during their first month of married life; however, by the end of the year, their rate of intercourse had declined to approximately eight times a month.

Read more: Marital Sex - The Decline Of Sexual Frequency Over Time - Family, Couples, and Month - JRank Articles http://family.jrank.org/pages/1103/Marital-Sex-Decline-Sexual-Frequency-Over-Time.html#ixzz3n8wEzAYQ

That's true for most relationships.  Most people are living miserable lives...You have the choice of whether you join them. I don't want to mislead anyone and make it sound like life is perfect because it isn't but I have found the majority of miserable people are that way because they did not live life on their own terms.  They just allowed it to happen.  Totally reactive. Just like you allow your sex life to fall off you can allow intimacy to grow in the relationship but you have to work at it.

[Thin Lizzy]

That's true for most relationships.  Most people are living miserable lives...You have the choice of whether you join them. I don't want to mislead anyone and make it sound like life is perfect because it isn't but I have found the majority of miserable people are that way because they did not live life on their own terms.  They just allowed it to happen.  Totally reactive. Just like you allow your sex life to fall off you can allow intimacy to grow in the relationship but you have to work at it.

You know, it's possible that it's perfectly normal to get tired of having sex with the same person after awhile, whether you think so, or not.

[lilhawk1]

Grass is greener scenario.

It's crazy because these men who were able to get anyone they wanted will tell you it was fun for a while and then got old.  They say it's much better to be with that one woman who loves you in spite of and you can be yourself with and enjoy sex without wondering what the motive is.

And guys if you want your lady to want it as much as you do, then you need to do your part. Make her feel beautiful and adored. you will get anytime and however you want it if you do that

So basically treat her like a princess and the man will get sex whenever he wants it??  Bullshit.  That's the problem with women these days, every one of them thinks she is a princess and needs to be catered to all day and night.  What exactly are they doing to make the man feel wanted?  Nag and bitch at him constantly?  Nothing is ever good enough no matter what the man does it seems.  Social media and reality TV are a lot to blame for this.  Almost every married couple I know are together so the man doesn't lose his ass if they divorce.  I know maybe 1-2 couples that are truly happy, that's it.  The rest are miserable, with kids, and wish they never got married, but they did so because that's "what you're supposed to do", or all their friends were getting married.  Hey, the bride gets to be a princess for a day though, right?  Suicide to get married, why not be single, date, have a girlfriend, and when one of the two people change, or no longer want to continue the relationship, then you go your separate ways without any piece of paper binding you together.  In the end it is the children that suffer when they see two miserable parents that can't stand each other bound together legally.  Then they grow up and repeat the same thing.  

[muscularny]

I won't discuss the intricacies of our legal system, but you're wrong. There is a tax benefit to marrying

Excuse me? Have you lost your mind? Any tax benefits that the avg. person will have by being married will be eaten up by the costs associated with being and staying married. How can humans tell themselves such silly lies.

[phreak]

Excuse me? Have you lost your mind? Any tax benefits that the avg. person will have by being married will be eaten up by the costs associated with being and staying married. How can humans tell themselves such silly lies.

Do please enlighten me. With numbers, please. A relationship in general influences financials, but where a marriage contract makes a difference is unclear to me. Or is your argument that one should never cohabitate, under any circumstance?

[Azure]

So basically treat her like a princess and the man will get sex whenever he wants it??  Bullshit.  That's the problem with women these days, every one of them thinks she is a princess and needs to be catered to all day and night.  What exactly are they doing to make the man feel wanted?  Nag and bitch at him constantly?  Nothing is ever good enough no matter what the man does it seems.  Social media and reality TV are a lot to blame for this.  Almost every married couple I know are together so the man doesn't lose his ass if they divorce.  I know maybe 1-2 couples that are truly happy, that's it.  The rest are miserable, with kids, and wish they never got married, but they did so because that's "what you're supposed to do", or all their friends were getting married.  Hey, the bride gets to be a princess for a day though, right?  Suicide to get married, why not be single, date, have a girlfriend, and when one of the two people change, or no longer want to continue the relationship, then you go your separate ways without any piece of paper binding you together.  In the end it is the children that suffer when they see two miserable parents that can't stand each other bound together legally.  Then they grow up and repeat the same thing.  

That's not what I said.  I didn't say treat her like a princess.  I said make her feel beautiful and adored.  There is a difference and if you do that, then you will be surprised at what happens. That can turn even the most hardcore chick around.  I can speak from first hand experience.  When you are treated well then you WANT to treat the man in the same way.  I never thought I would be the one acting like a housewife because that's not my nature but I was treated so well that I wanted to do it and that's the love language.  It had nothing to do with gifts and all that nonsense just being treated well as a human being.

What you talk about is what I referred too earlier as immaturity on both sides.  I know so many women who were terrible wives because all they thought about was the big fancy wedding and being treated like a princess after the wedding.  They didn't realize that a marriage takes work.  I've been to many six figure weddings that ended 2-3 years later because guess what money and sex weren't enough to sustain a relationship and of course the woman usually made out very well in these situations

As I said earlier in this thread, most of those women were golddiggers who had nothing going for themselves and everyone except the dumbass groom could see it a mile away.  She was there pretending to be wife material all with dollar signs in her eyes.  It's pathetic.  

You don't HAVE to be miserable like everyone else.  It's your choice and your life.  I knew I didn't want that so I worked for years in getting to a place where my mindset changed.  I didn't have delusions of grandeur or fantasies about happily ever after.  Most women cannot say that.

[Ronnie Rep]

That's not what I said.  I didn't say treat her like a princess.  I said make her feel beautiful and adored.  There is a difference and if you do that, then you will be surprised at what happens. That can turn even the most hardcore chick around.  I can speak from first hand experience.  When you are treated well then you WANT to treat the man in the same way.  I never thought I would be the one acting like a housewife because that's not my nature but I was treated so well that I wanted to do it and that's the love language.  It had nothing to do with gifts and all that nonsense just being treated well as a human being.

What you talk about is what I referred too earlier as immaturity on both sides.  I know so many women who were terrible wives because all they thought about was the big fancy wedding and being treated like a princess after the wedding.  They didn't realize that a marriage takes work.  I've been to many six figure weddings that ended 2-3 years later because guess what money and sex weren't enough to sustain a relationship and of course the woman usually made out very well in these situations

As I said earlier in this thread, most of those women were golddiggers who had nothing going for themselves and everyone except the dumbass groom could see it a mile away.  She was there pretending to be wife material all with dollar signs in her eyes.  It's pathetic.  

You don't HAVE to be miserable like everyone else.  It's your choice and your life.  I knew I didn't want that so I worked for years in getting to a place where my mindset changed.  I didn't have delusions of grandeur or fantasies about happily ever after.  Most women cannot say that.

Sadly today you are the exception not the rule.

[phreak]

That's not what I said.  I didn't say treat her like a princess.  I said make her feel beautiful and adored.  There is a difference and if you do that, then you will be surprised at what happens. That can turn even the most hardcore chick around.  I can speak from first hand experience.  When you are treated well then you WANT to treat the man in the same way.  I never thought I would be the one acting like a housewife because that's not my nature but I was treated so well that I wanted to do it and that's the love language.  It had nothing to do with gifts and all that nonsense just being treated well as a human being.

What you talk about is what I referred too earlier as immaturity on both sides.  I know so many women who were terrible wives because all they thought about was the big fancy wedding and being treated like a princess after the wedding.  They didn't realize that a marriage takes work.  I've been to many six figure weddings that ended 2-3 years later because guess what money and sex weren't enough to sustain a relationship and of course the woman usually made out very well in these situations

As I said earlier in this thread, most of those women were golddiggers who had nothing going for themselves and everyone except the dumbass groom could see it a mile away.  She was there pretending to be wife material all with dollar signs in her eyes.  It's pathetic.  

You don't HAVE to be miserable like everyone else.  It's your choice and your life.  I knew I didn't want that so I worked for years in getting to a place where my mindset changed.  I didn't have delusions of grandeur or fantasies about happily ever after.  Most women cannot say that.

Nice post. Fun to watch those lavish weddings. Wife and I signed at city hall for free, and the reception was a lunch at my sister's for 9 people. No need to impress girlfriends.

[da_vinci]

That's not what I said.  I didn't say treat her like a princess.  I said make her feel beautiful and adored.  There is a difference and if you do that, then you will be surprised at what happens. That can turn even the most hardcore chick around.  I can speak from first hand experience.  When you are treated well then you WANT to treat the man in the same way.  I never thought I would be the one acting like a housewife because that's not my nature but I was treated so well that I wanted to do it and that's the love language.  It had nothing to do with gifts and all that nonsense just being treated well as a human being.

What you talk about is what I referred too earlier as immaturity on both sides.  I know so many women who were terrible wives because all they thought about was the big fancy wedding and being treated like a princess after the wedding.  They didn't realize that a marriage takes work.  I've been to many six figure weddings that ended 2-3 years later because guess what money and sex weren't enough to sustain a relationship and of course the woman usually made out very well in these situations

As I said earlier in this thread, most of those women were golddiggers who had nothing going for themselves and everyone except the dumbass groom could see it a mile away.  She was there pretending to be wife material all with dollar signs in her eyes.  It's pathetic.  

You don't HAVE to be miserable like everyone else.  It's your choice and your life.  I knew I didn't want that so I worked for years in getting to a place where my mindset changed.  I didn't have delusions of grandeur or fantasies about happily ever after.  Most women cannot say that.

Good and sane thought process. Not many could relate tho'... Sadly.

[Parker]

Boy, lots of "exceptions," here.

The studies and research show otherwise:

The frequency with which couples engage in sex is affected both by the partners' ages and by the duration of their relationship. In general, older couples have sex less frequently than younger couples. For example, sociologist Vaughn Call and colleagues (1995) surveyed over six thousand married people living in the United States and reported that sexual activity was highest among the youngest respondents (those ranging in age from nineteen to twenty-nine, who had sex approximately ten to twelve times per month), became progressively lower in older age groups (e.g., four to seven times a month among forty- and fifty-yearolds), and reached its nadir among respondents in their seventies (who engaged in intercourse with their spouses less than twice a month). The majority of studies also find that the longer couples have been married, the less often they have sex (Rao and DeMaris 1995; Samson et al. 1991). This decline may be greatest during the first year or the first few years of the relationship. For example, William James (1981) analyzed diaries kept by newlywed couples over the course of their first year of marriage. Couples reported having sex on seventeen or more occasions during their first month of married life; however, by the end of the year, their rate of intercourse had declined to approximately eight times a month.

Read more: Marital Sex - The Decline Of Sexual Frequency Over Time - Family, Couples, and Month - JRank Articles http://family.jrank.org/pages/1103/Marital-Sex-Decline-Sexual-Frequency-Over-Time.html#ixzz3n8wEzAYQ

That 1995 study was before Viagra and Cialis. And Sophia Loren is 80 yrs old, and still looks better than women 10-20 yrs younger than her. So, imagine some guy married to her when she was 65-70 yrs (Viagra was available in 1998).
Not saying that it is untrue, but I think that you should reference more recent studies to reflect the "Viagra Effect".

[The Ugly]

Beats the cost of a good marriage counselor.

[Thin Lizzy]

That 1995 study was before Viagra and Cialis. And Sophia Loren is 80 yrs old, and still looks better than women 10-20 yrs younger than her. So, imagine some guy married to her when she was 65-70 yrs (Viagra was available in 1998).
Not saying that it is untrue, but I think that you should reference more recent studies to reflect the "Viagra Effect".

Dr. Ben Sobel: You know, you can take a pill for that.

Boss Paul Vitti: Nah, you start with the pills, the next thing you know you're putting in hydraulics. A hard-on should be achieved legitimately or it shouldn't be achieved at all.

Dr. Ben Sobel: Hmm, I think Mark Twain said that, didn't he?


 

[lilhawk1]

That's not what I said.  I didn't say treat her like a princess.  I said make her feel beautiful and adored.  There is a difference and if you do that, then you will be surprised at what happens. That can turn even the most hardcore chick around.  I can speak from first hand experience.  When you are treated well then you WANT to treat the man in the same way.  I never thought I would be the one acting like a housewife because that's not my nature but I was treated so well that I wanted to do it and that's the love language.  It had nothing to do with gifts and all that nonsense just being treated well as a human being.

What you talk about is what I referred too earlier as immaturity on both sides.  I know so many women who were terrible wives because all they thought about was the big fancy wedding and being treated like a princess after the wedding.  They didn't realize that a marriage takes work.  I've been to many six figure weddings that ended 2-3 years later because guess what money and sex weren't enough to sustain a relationship and of course the woman usually made out very well in these situations

As I said earlier in this thread, most of those women were golddiggers who had nothing going for themselves and everyone except the dumbass groom could see it a mile away.  She was there pretending to be wife material all with dollar signs in her eyes.  It's pathetic.  

You don't HAVE to be miserable like everyone else.  It's your choice and your life.  I knew I didn't want that so I worked for years in getting to a place where my mindset changed.  I didn't have delusions of grandeur or fantasies about happily ever after.  Most women cannot say that.

You are definitely the exception not the rule.  Most women act as if they are an innocent bystander in the relationship, and aren't willing to put any effort into anything.  You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders, as well as a good view point on this.

[Azure]

You are definitely the exception not the rule.  Most women act as if they are an innocent bystander in the relationship, and aren't willing to put any effort into anything.  You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders, as well as a good view point on this.

Thanks guys.  You're absolutely right.  Most women I have talked to treat their husbands/boyfriends like shit and then wonder why the relationship goes South.  It's constantly nagging him, totally insecure, and only concerned about how "he's making me feel."  They don't give two craps about the guy and what's going through his head.

They blame the guy for everything that's wrong and I'm like so you're not admitting to doing anything wrong???  That's your problem right there.  It's never just one person's fault when the relationship goes South.  When you stop paying attention to him and treat him like a child, then what do you think is going to happen? 

[Thong Maniac]

Regarding grass is greener. I've had a great girl some years ago... personality, sex, everything was close to a very good match. Yet I thought that grass is greener on the other side, that and other stuff mad the relathionship run it's course. Guess what...... some years went by and I found out that.... grass may actually be a lot greener! lol   If I stayed with her I'd have missed on so much even more mind blowing sex, different personalities, different experiences. Tho' it messes you up in some way... you become addicted to that change, whether it is every few months or every few years. Very hard to resists, esp. when you can and when you know the game well.
 Good advice regarding making them "want it", but a natural sex drive must be present too.

Need to see a pic of u man (no homo). Sounds like u dont have to try for sex at all...

[twitchfibres]

Another great post!

I'll just add that as a man you don't have to sit there and just "take it" from her.
Embrace the idea that it was YOUR choice to get involved with her, so you have the choice to leave her.

Ending a serious , romantic relationship is never easy and often results in serious emotional pain.
I don't drink booze or do any rec drugs , but getting divorced was always tough on me.
But very few good things come your way in life without some form of sacrifice.

For example, my 2nd wife, really wanted kids a few years after we got married. I never did and never changed on that. 18 months after our divorce we met at a gym. She had met a divorced guy with 2 young twin girls.
She showed me the pics and she loved being a mom to them. I took her hand and said ; " If we never got divorced you would never have had this experience as a mom." She smiled and said ; " Thank you"

Gay

[da_vinci]

Need to see a pic of u man (no homo). Sounds like u dont have to try for sex at all...

I believe that looks is just a PART of it.

Honestly - never had issues with getting sex/females, now it became almost hilariously easy (I stay faithful to a great girl currently. It is hard I must admit.). Was a shy geek in my early teens tho', spent days behind a PC screen and reading books. later on I realized that I'm tall, that I get some interest from pretty attractive girls.. must be onto something. Started lifting (no drugs for many years, just obessive working out), started other activities, became very social (while still being the same geek inside), being a shy fella earlier - red lots of books, on human behavior too, at 20 was able to read females and generally was a lot more aware of how "relathionships" work than most guys my age, and circumstances were so that I usualy was around much older people from my early childhood, I started to "feel" like I'm more mature too. My first attempt of getting into a bed of a 25yo sexy girl was at 15yo, lol.. that was embarassing, she was like "Are you fukkin kidding me?". All that added up in some way over time.
 In short - when I'm around females, I see opportunities, just like some people see opportunities for making money everywhere they go. Being jacked (now) helps too. But it's a mix I'd say, I just always had this kind of self confidence that if not this one, than another, but I will get good poon no matter what. When loosing one, while being depressed I have always been somewhat happy that now I will get a new one, maybe even better, at the same time, never too much down time. And it worked/s very well. Won't be posting any clear pics here, but I'm 6'1, ~235lb, around 10% bf.
With clothes on:

EDIT: PM'ed u a pic. It is not clear, but I'm generaly not comfortable of posting my pics online. I don't post much even on FB.

[cephissus]

the point of being married is to make kids and support them, hope this helps

your happiness should depend on how good the kids turn out

[Simple Simon]

the point of being married is to make kids and support them, hope this helps

your happiness should depend on how good the kids turn out

being married isnt a requirement to have children, and being married doesnt mean you can have children.
Being married is a ceremony and declaration to other people that you are a couple and helps with legalites if anything happens to one of you.