jack good post man. i was pretty niave when i got married. i fell for the "princess" wedding, jesus boy doing our vows (im an atheist- still pissed to this day we paid thAt fucker), annoying mother in law with her formal bullshit, 6 and 6 bridemaids and groosman, very old fashion, etc. etc. at the time, i just didnt care. kinda like, oh well sure whatever. as im 30s now, my friends getting married are doing destination weddings, fun stuff with small group of friends, etc. looks so fun, so i am kinda still pissed we did the stupid dog and poney show. that seems like the shit that goes on when you are in your twenties getting married. so my advice, wait till your an adult like age 30 and up. 25 is no adult.
financially speaking, marriage was great for us. my savings was shit, and my wife earns double what i earn. we were able to buy a house, and move up in investments, etc. also, like you said, my wife is very thrifty amd always looks for the best deal. friends we have in their thirties who are marrying are still doing the townhouse or rental thing. so combining assets really can propel you forward much faster.
now, this might not be important to many people. its really not to me. i argue alot about what we buy because id be fine with a shack in the woods. that always seems to be where people argue, is the life style. people have expectations. my expectation was big savings, retire early and small modest home and never worry about money. wife loves work, and wants big houses, nice things. thats our one main wedge, which sucks.
honestly, i was depressed single (wasnt getting laid bcause i wasnt confident (this was before tindr, which
ooks fun and easy) was lonely, had no one to watch dogs when i traveled). i also get depressed being married. so much hot asss out there, and you always thinkg " wow i bet that girl really has it all...nice person, loving, hot, etc...but you never really know. grass is always greeener. its a mental illness which i have. im never satisfied. i do KNOW that if i was single, id still be miserable though. i think im better off married honestly. like others said, working on happiness is the hard part and thats what im goin focus on for 2017. any tips are welcom!
Great post and thanks for being honest about having to endure the big show wedding.
Lots of woman want that sort of thing and that's just part of most females DNA?
However, the one way wedding demands can lead to her getting her way in married life.
It doesn't have to however, and most BIG weddings are shows for friends and family anyway.
Sounds to me like you're pretty well suited , save for one major thing:
She seems very interested in bragging rights and what people ( friends /family) think.
Woman are really bad about picturing a fantasy lifestyle and assume the man will change to meet it.
Ok, I'd have a calm , loving heart to heart talk and lay out in basic, clear terms; YOUR dream lifestyle.
It's possible that if you BOTH stay calm, you could reach a compromise, BOTH can live with.
Now, ( this is important, so pay attention) *If she tries to laugh off your lifestyle ideas as silly
and only takes her side seriously, you've got some real problems brewing.
The best approach then, is to be firm but calm and matter of fact of what YOU really want.
She needs to accept that it takes two to make a marriage work.
All you can do is be fair , reasonable and be sure she knows YOU listened to HER.
Since you're younger them me, I need to share one more major issue with you.
Most woman can and do change between 20 to 35.
Not sure why, but they do and assume men will change like them...we don't.
For example, my 1st ex-wife changed her mind about wanting kids 3 yrs into the marriage.
I had two basic choices:
1. Have kids with her when I didn't want to
2. Divorce
I chose divorce with no regrets.
