Are married family men truly happy?

[Howard]

I'm happily married as well. Best decision i've made. 
My second best decision.... staying single throughout my 20s & 30s.

Good point and I think you're path of marrying older then most do is a great idea.
Married and having kids as a man under 35 is a difficult road to travel

[Grape Ape]

Married and having kids as a man under 35 is a difficult road to travel

No, not really.

It's different for everyone is the correct answer.

[milone79]

I guess,

I see some people praise their wives...."she's my rock" "without her I'm nothing"

I've never met a woman that made me feel this way. They're all attracted to what I already had before I ever met them, be my looks, or charisma or career....and if anything they only hold me back, my training suffers, my savings take a hit....etc, every time.

so much this!!^^^^

[Howard]

No, not really.

It's different for everyone is the correct answer.

I'll be the first to agree that nobody can predict ALL human behavior and preferences .
BUT the AVERAGE man would be better off waiting until his mid 30's to get married.

Maturity that comes with age and life experience is important.
For example, I was a much better college student after my 4 yrs active duty in the USMC.

[Grape Ape]

I'll be the first to agree that nobody can predict ALL human behavior and preferences .
BUT the AVERAGE man would be better off waiting until his mid 30's to get married.

That's not fact, it's just your opinion.

But you moved the goalposts - your original statement involved the perceived difficulty of  having kids before 35.  You have no experience with this and are just yammering.  The fact that you jump into this subject ad-nauseum makes it feel as if you have doubts about not having them.

[Howard]

Marriage counseling could make a vast improvement. Both parties need to be onboard for it to work, though. Best of luck, man.

Depends?

My ex-wife wanted kids 2-3 years into the marriage and I never did.
I agreed to go to a licensed therapist with her on this issue.
The therapist concluded what we both knew and expressed:
1.She had really developed a deep need to have children and be a mom.
2.I never wanted kids and had zero desire to be a father.

She was horrified at first and (wrongly) assumed, I had something wrong that could be changed.
Good marriage counseling can point out what they issues are and how each person feels.
BUT, they can't really change how a person feels on key issues.

[dj181]

you are not a narcissist you are just very insecure

i've never come across anyone that needs as much validation as you

i imagine girls in relationships with you would fuck off

after the millionth time you've asked them to compliment you about your abs

your life will change as soon as you lose that insecurity

allright, fair enough

and you are right that i'm not able to keep girls in a relationship with me, that's true, but i am really making an effort to change my behaviors with them and not to expect them to constantly validate me and i'm really trying to sympathize and identify with them, and ask them about themsleves and not constantly talk about me

i remember once i was with a friend and we were hanging out with two girls that we met at the club a few days before, and my friend was kicking me in the shins and telling me to shut the fuck up and stop talking about myself, true story

[King Shizzo]

That's not fact, it's just your opinion.

But you moved the goalposts - your original statement involved the perceived difficulty of  having kids before 35.  You have no experience with this and are just yammering.  The fact that you jump into this subject ad-nauseum makes it feel as if you have doubts about not having them.

I've got you......

[Bulgarian_enforcer]

allright, fair enough

and you are right that i'm not able to keep girls in a relationship with me, that's true, but i am really making an effort to change my behaviors with them and not to expect them to constantly validate me and i'm really trying to sympathize and identify with them, and ask them about themsleves and not constantly talk about me

i remember once i was with a friend and we were hanging out with two girls that we met at the club a few days before, and my friend was kicking me in the shins and telling me to shut the fuck up and stop talking about myself, true story

Women smell insecurities and are turn off by it cause they are insecure estrogen bitches themselves. Big dick, big bank account and winner attitude is the formula to keep em imo.

[dj181]

Women smell insecurities and are turn off by it cause they are insecure estrogen bitches themselves. Big dick, big bank account and winner attitude is the formula to keep em imo.

interesting you say that, coz my boxing coach has really been trying to drive into my mind the idea that women love and want money

but my female friends have told me that they want CONFIDENCE not money

as king crimson says.... "confusion will be my epitaph"

[Simple Simon]

interesting you say that, coz my boxing coach has really been trying to drive into my mind the idea that women love and want money

but my female friends have told me that they want CONFIDENCE not money

as king crimson says.... "confusion will be my epitaph"

if you have no money it doesnt matter how confident you are.

[dj181]

if you have no money it doesnt matter how confident you are.

that's true in a long term realtionship, but just for one night stands or pick ups confidence wins it i guess

[Grape Ape]

I've got you......

You are seriously warped.

I'm guessing, by your logic, some other poster used that term an now you think you have some "gotcha" moment.

Have at it, you admitted dicksucker.

[King Shizzo]

You are seriously warped.

I'm guessing, by your logic, some other poster used that term an now you think you have some "gotcha" moment.

Have at it, you admitted dicksucker.

[_bruce_]

It's good for some, not for everyone.
You have to know what kind of person you are.

x10

[Grape Ape]

Same old same old with you.

King of faking your own death
King of sucking a dude off (admitted on multiple occasions)
King of being owned by Goodrum.

Booze, post truth, sober up, recant, accuse mods, post stupid picture, whine to mods,......wash, rinse, repeat.  

[Taffin]

When you hate yourself and can't justify your own existence, going to the same degrading job day after day just to perpetuate your misery, you might choose to save yourself by having a kid.

Now you have 'purpose': if you don't continue to grind yourself to dust, your family will pay the price.  And you can take some measure of satisfaction for your child's achievements.  As long as you have some faith in your child's worth, you can keep going on.

But then, one day, your child doesn't need you anymore.  He can support himself, and it's up to him whether he wants to remain associated with his now decrepit parents.  And will be want to?  Who would want to associate with people who predicate their entire existence on the value of their child, having no worth of their own.

Maybe the child, now an adult, will realize his parents for what they are: people who never found their place in the world and used their children to mask this horror, to overcome self-loathing and suicide or insanity.

Probably, at this point, the parents, being wretched as they are, will try to guilt their child into 'filial duty' or hold them hostage with inheritance... Now will the child be strong enough to cut the parasites off?  Being their own spawn, I doubt it.  More likely, he'll perpetuate the process, sing the praises of parenthood himself, and suffer quietly.

And so the world becomes a sickhouse...

Happy New Year dude...

[Howard]

That's not fact, it's just your opinion.

But you moved the goalposts - your original statement involved the perceived difficulty of  having kids before 35.  You have no experience with this and are just yammering.  The fact that you jump into this subject ad-nauseum makes it feel as if you have doubts about not having them.

Of course it's just my opinion based on my personal observations. No more, no less.

I find the topic interesting . I am always perplexed why so many other guys seem to fall backwards into fatherhood without a lot of thinking beforehand.

I always considering having kids as work , $$ and stress. I've been that way since I was a teen and never waivered.

[Taffin]

I find the topic interesting

Clearly - you've posted that many times in this thread I am thinking of finding Bono and punching him in the face...








 

[Henda]

Very original, never seen that before.....

[nzmusclemonster]

I believe nzmm is on the list as well.

You know it 

[Howard]

Clearly - you've posted that many times in this thread I am thinking of finding Bono and cumming on  him in the face...








 

fixed

[cephissus]

Happy New Year dude...

Actually I was discussing this exact subject with my friend (a new father) as the year changed.

I'm not saying this process applies to everyone, its just a hypothesis I dreamed up to fit many people (self included, of course) I observe.

[cephissus]

and where the fuck do you get this pity me stuff  show me where i've said whoa is me

Why do you think people advertise their insecurities and seek validation?

[dj181]

Why do you think people advertise their insecurities and seek validation?

like how do they advertise their insecurities?

give me an example of this