The Value of Being Cute At Chipotle

[Al Doggity]

Hey, great point! Want to know how it actually happened? Generally one employee would stay with you the whole time, first taking your order, steaming the tortilla, serving the rice and beans, scooping the meat, adding the salsa and sauces, and sprinkling cheese before wrapping the whole thing up and receiving your payment at the register.

Odd how sometimes "things don't make sense" and yet... are?!

Which defeats the entire purpose of the conveyor belt system  that every single chipotle uses, especially if it's busier than average.   

Now explain to the rest of us how "don't feel too good, its not unusual" is an "attempt to prove you aren't cute enough to get a free burrito"

Are there "rest of us"?  Is someone interested in this besides you? And does  "don't feel too good, its not unusual" need further explanation?
 

You said I could come up with an explanation to refute your points, so go ahead, try to come up with one of your own. I'm sure you'll find it's surprisingly easy!

The very clear point being your explanations were likely to be non-believable bullshit. 

[Al Doggity]

I could use murphy's oil soap to clean it out, but I think that's what made my rectum start bleeding. Thoughts?

Weird.

[DooM_]

life time achievement award

[Bevo]

Stupid thread

[Al Doggity]

Hey, great point! Want to know how it actually happened? Generally one employee would stay with you the whole time, first taking your order, steaming the tortilla, serving the rice and beans, scooping the meat, adding the salsa and sauces, and sprinkling cheese before wrapping the whole thing up and receiving your payment at the register.

Odd how sometimes "things don't make sense" and yet... are?!

And to elaborate on this even further, you can look up chipotle and ... "efficiency", "operational model" , "throughput" or multiple other business terms... and find countless articles about how the most important part of their business model is the assembly line. It's considered their major innovation within the industry. Here's two links:

http://www.businessinsider.com/chipotles-burrito-making-formula-2014-6
https://rctom.hbs.org/submission/how-chipotle-revolutionized-fast-food/


In the first one, the founder of the company talks about how he started the company after watching an incredibly fast assembly line at another restaurant. In the second, they talk about the importance of speed  and how speed is due specifically to breaking up jobs. You don't even have to read these articles, though. Even just thinking about it for 5 seconds  anyone would realize that doing things the way you described would slow things down drastically. Even neighborhood delis generally will have one guy making the food and  a different guy taking payments.

[Board_SHERIF]

And to elaborate on this even further, you can look up chipotle and ... "efficiency", "operational model" , "throughput" or multiple other business terms... and find countless articles about how the most important part of their business model is the assembly line. It's considered their major innovation within the industry. Here's two links:

http://www.businessinsider.com/chipotles-burrito-making-formula-2014-6
https://rctom.hbs.org/submission/how-chipotle-revolutionized-fast-food/


In the first one, the founder of the company talks about how he started the company after watching an incredibly fast assembly line at another restaurant. In the second, they talk about the importance of speed  and how speed is due specifically to breaking up jobs. You don't even have to read these articles, though. Even just thinking about it for 5 seconds  anyone would realize that doing things the way you described would slow things down drastically. Even neighborhood delis generally will have one guy making the food and  a different guy taking payments.

why were you alone ?

[cephissus]

And does  "don't feel too good, its not unusual" need further explanation?

Yes, apparently. This statement implied not that you aren't cute enough, but that one need not be very cute.

[cephissus]

Which defeats the entire purpose of the conveyor system

Yes, again, great point. Next thing you know, you'll be showing me an article on the latest credit card technology to explain why the readers at whole foods couldn't possibly be an order of magnitude slower than those at my local grocer.
 

The very clear point being your explanations were likely to be non-believable bullshit. 

No moreso than your refutations, which is why you'll have an easier time arguing against yourself than attacking me.

[Al Doggity]

 No moreso than your refutations, which is why you'll have an easier time arguing against yourself than attacking me.

Really? Because your argument  is basically "I know it doesn't make sense, but it's true". Meanwhile,  I linked to an article in which the founder of the company says doing the opposite of what you described is the core principle of its business model.  But, yeah, I'm reaching. 

[cephissus]

Really? Because your argument  is basically "I know it doesn't make sense, but it's true". Meanwhile,  I linked to an article in which the founder of the company says doing the opposite of what you described is the core principle of its business model.  But, yeah, I'm reaching. 

Yes, really. Give it a shot.

[Al Doggity]

Yes, really. Give it a shot.

Just tried it. Turns out I was right all the time.

[cephissus]

Just tried it. Turns out I was right all the time.

Why don't you share?

[Al Doggity]

Why don't you share?

Sure! It went like this:

I used to get free food from chipotle all the time. I used to get it in a way that made no sense and is the complete opposite of their operating model. The entire chain is built around an assembly line method to increase speed and they've been heralded for this innovation for decades, but for some reason the extremely busy chipotle I went to didn't use the very method that the company was founded on. Which doesn't make sense because it seems like this branch would have found it especially useful since I repeatedly pointed out how busy it was. Apparently, they thought it made more sense for each employee to put on gloves, move down the entire assembly line to make one order, then take their gloves off, ring up each order and then go back to the start of the assembly line put on new gloves and do it all over again. Even though this would cause a backlog at the register after about 4 orders and a 5 year old could see that it made no sense, this extremely busy branch of chipotle never seemed to understand this. Ya know, actually, this makes no sense. It sounds entirely made up.

[CalvinH]

Had Chipolte last night.

....Guess I wasn't cute enough

[Al Doggity]

Had Chipolte last night.

....Guess I wasn't cute enough

You don't really have to be cute. Just homeless looking.

[be back]

hahaha 5 pages about an old guy who someone felt sorry for and gave him free food...

[Kwon]

hahaha 5 pages about an old guy who someone felt sorry for and gave him free food...

Bet the old groid thought it was an accomplishment! 

[Al Doggity]

Bet the old groid thought it was an accomplishment! 

And I'll bet you had to talk yourself out of slitting your wrists twice in the  span of time it took you to make this post.


But don't feel too bad, little buddy. I'm sure most people who read this thread wanted to off themselves.

[NelsonMuntz]

I live about 10 minutes from a chipotles have never tried it

[cephissus]

Sure! It went like this:

I used to get free food from chipotle all the time. I used to get it in a way that made no sense and is the complete opposite of their operating model. The entire chain is built around an assembly line method to increase speed and they've been heralded for this innovation for decades, but for some reason the extremely busy chipotle I went to didn't use the very method that the company was founded on. Which doesn't make sense because it seems like this branch would have found it especially useful since I repeatedly pointed out how busy it was. Apparently, they thought it made more sense for each employee to put on gloves, move down the entire assembly line to make one order, then take their gloves off, ring up each order and then go back to the start of the assembly line put on new gloves and do it all over again. Even though this would cause a backlog at the register after about 4 orders and a 5 year old could see that it made no sense, this extremely busy branch of chipotle never seemed to understand this. Ya know, actually, this makes no sense. It sounds entirely made up.

How about this one, which I took from a local news report:

"Chipotle, being a franchise restaurant, can sometimes spring up under less-than-orthodox circumstances. Consider the case of a reclusive Seattleite scion whose favorite pastime -- running dry cleaners, food trucks, fast food restaurants, and other businesses "of the people," a pursuit utterly alien to that by which he earned his millions -- gave the staff a set of instructions only loosely based on the manual he received from corporate and much more in-line with his personal habits and tastes. They, being both a crack squad of burrito rollers and perhaps less assiduous than he might have liked, decided to take some liberties with his system, which was already decidedly un-canonical. For one thing, he poached most of the team from a local family style burrito joint famous dishing out child-sized, double-tortilla monstrosities affectionately and ironically called the "baby burrito". But such epic fare necessarily dictates a mode of operation completely unlike any you'd find in an establishment spun off of McDonalds and, try as they might to adapt, old habits died hard! Hence they gradually reverted (or, more accurately put, never really abandoned) their preferred interpretation of the "assembly line," in which the employee is conveyed right along with the wares!

From the start, our Chipotle was a smash hit with students from the nearby university, who, rain-slick and suffering more than a little fatigue of sickly-sweet, glazed meats, arrived under the blasting heat that dumped from the store's patio ceiling and spilled onto the sidewalk, only all to eager to say "goodbye teriyaki, hello guacamole!"  The owner rarely stopped by. He always had his hands in many purses and, to put it plainly, was never really one for fastidious oversight, in the first place. In fact, detached as he was, he barely had to look at the books before deciding to dole out generous bonuses for each sales milestone his team smashed through. Although business was good, the big boss was only ever too happy to add new tiers for ever-higher performance pay outs. The team, fearing they'd miss out on the topmost quarterly bonus for the first time in months, implored their two lead managers (Jesus and David, in whom everyone placed a lot of stock) to take action. Not content to let the product speak for itself, these enterprising young fellows decided to further incentivize their audience with the somewhat-unimaginative, yet profoundly effective "two-burrito giveaway system". Each employee would give up to two free burritos every day. The whole team agreed to level the balance out of their own pocket, with the leads showing somewhat more largesse than the rest by always personally ensuring ends met.

The plan was simple: after chatting it up for a few minutes and hitting things off with a customer, the worker would signal the cashier (if it were one of those times that John, the misfit white second-nephew or other who wouldn't play ball and only worked register) to pin the merchant receipt (with free item circled) on the "free spear"; or, if left to own devices, the employee would gladly rip off their nasty gloves off and note the dispensation personally. By the way, the whole staff hated wearing gloves, to the surprise of none in the restaurant industry. Sanitation slips be damned, everyone loves getting those things off at the nearest opportunity, if only to shake free some sweat and get reacquaint the pores with a little fresh air. At the end of the day, David would empty the receipt spear, tally the losses, and replenish the register after withdrawing from the team's shared account, which he accessed through the Bank of America ATM halfway down the block.

Long story short, the plan was a smash hit for all involved! Any worries even the most miserly team member might have maintained vanished after the first quarter, when year-over-year sales climbed to an astonishing and unprecedented 28%. The boss might not have known the whole story, but he didn't care! He decided to one up his now-famous bonuses and match the local burger joint's legendary benevolence by paying for part of any student-employee's tuition, provided they sign a multi-year contract. Speaking of legends, the policy went over so well with the student population that it became a near mythological talking point. From the chatter inevitably spun various hypotheses, the prevailing guess being that each employee could dole out a whopping $20 pro-bono! Not too far off the mark, after all...

[Al Doggity]

"Chipotle, being a franchise restaurant, can sometimes spring up under less-than-orthodox circumstances. Consider the case of a reclusive Seattleite scion whose favorite pastime -- running dry cleaners, food trucks, fast food restaurants, and other businesses "of the people," a pursuit utterly alien to that by which he earned his millions -- gave the staff a set of instructions only loosely based on the manual he received from corporate and much more in-line with his personal habits and tastes. They, being both a crack squad of burrito rollers and perhaps less assiduous than he might have liked, decided to take some liberties with his system, which was already decidedly un-canonical. For one thing, he poached most of the team from a local family style burrito joint famous dishing out child-sized, double-tortilla monstrosities affectionately and ironically called the "baby burrito". But such epic fare necessarily dictates a mode of operation completely unlike any you'd find in an establishment spun off of McDonalds and, try as they might to adapt, old habits died hard! Hence they gradually reverted (or, more accurately put, never really abandoned) their preferred interpretation of the "assembly line," in which the employee is conveyed right along with the wares!

From the start, our Chipotle was a smash hit with students from the nearby university, who, rain-slick and suffering more than a little fatigue of sickly-sweet, glazed meats, arrived under the blasting heat that dumped from the store's patio ceiling and spilled onto the sidewalk, only all to eager to say "goodbye teriyaki, hello guacamole!"  The owner rarely stopped by. He always had his hands in many purses and, to put it plainly, was never really one for fastidious oversight, in the first place. In fact, detached as he was, he barely had to look at the books before deciding to dole out generous bonuses for each sales milestone his team smashed through. Although business was good, the big boss was only ever too happy to add new tiers for ever-higher performance pay outs. The team, fearing they'd miss out on the topmost quarterly bonus for the first time in months, implored their two lead managers (Jesus and David, in whom everyone placed a lot of stock) to take action. Not content to let the product speak for itself, these enterprising young fellows decided to further incentivize their audience with the somewhat-unimaginative, yet profoundly effective "two-burrito giveaway system". Each employee would give up to two free burritos every day. The whole team agreed to level the balance out of their own pocket, with the leads showing somewhat more largesse than the rest by always personally ensuring ends met.

The plan was simple: after chatting it up for a few minutes and hitting things off with a customer, the worker would signal the cashier (if it were one of those times that John, the misfit white second-nephew or other who wouldn't play ball and only worked register) to pin the merchant receipt (with free item circled) on the "free spear"; or, if left to own devices, the employee would gladly rip off their nasty gloves off and note the dispensation personally. By the way, the whole staff hated wearing gloves, to the surprise of none in the restaurant industry. Sanitation slips be damned, everyone loves getting those things off at the nearest opportunity, if only to shake free some sweat and get reacquaint the pores with a little fresh air. At the end of the day, David would empty the receipt spear, tally the losses, and replenish the register after withdrawing from the team's shared account, which he accessed through the Bank of America ATM halfway down the block.

Long story short, the plan was a smash hit for all involved! Any worries even the most miserly team member might have maintained vanished after the first quarter, when year-over-year sales climbed to an astonishing and unprecedented 28%. The boss might not have known the whole story, but he didn't care! He decided to one up his now-famous bonuses and match the local burger joint's legendary benevolence by paying for part of any student-employee's tuition, provided they sign a multi-year contract. Speaking of legends, the policy went over so well with the student population that it became a near mythological talking point. From the chatter inevitably spun various hypotheses, the prevailing guess being that each employee could dole out a whopping $20 pro-bono! Not too far off the mark, after all...

  Did you write this yourself?  Did it take you most of the day?

[healthiswealth]

I sometimes casually drop in to ol' Getbig every few months and yep...still good ol Getbig filled with insecure middle aged men.

This is some cringe shit right here...

[The Scott]

I sometimes casually drop in to ol' Getbig every few months and yep...still good ol Getbig filled with insecure middle aged men.

This is some cringe shit right here...

Yup.  That's cuz OP is a member of

Black Forum Assholes Guild.


Dudes a fucktard missing a sense of humor.

[Kwon]

Yup.  That's cuz OP is a member of

Black Forum Assholes Guild.


Dudes a fucktard missing a sense of humor.

Al Doggity after he got a token at Chipotle.

[Al Doggity]

Buckaroos, I figured out how to deal with my rotting pussy problem. I'm just going to store my garbage in my asshole until the weekend. I'm not doing anything with it until I "volunteer  at the homeless shelter".

And "volunteer at the homeless shelter"  is gay bathhouse slang from the 1920s that means inviting homeless guys back to my shack so they can plow me raw.