Beautiful children Matt. Do you believe in God?
Thank you! Firstly, before going on a long disconnected/derailed tirade about my personal life, I should answer your question.
No, I do not necessarily believe in God, but I do write The Lord's name in capital letters, because I am deeply uncertain about the existence of a deity, and very open-minded to learn more about the existence of God, or not.
I was seeing a Jehovah's Witness for one day a week for most of the year, but have since lost touch. I intend to start seeing him again, very soon!
Any information you have about God, The Church, or The Lord [all in capital letters for a reason], please PM me, or otherwise direct me to posts you have on the subject. I am interested in learning more about various values.
If you have any posts you wrote on the subject, let me know. I would love to read them!
Now onto my personal life, as of lately:
I love being a dad, and can't wait until child #4 arrives. Yes, I will be buried in child support even more, but it will be worth it.
My spousal support is currently, $1,800 a month just to the moms + I typically always pay for all the expenses for the children. The only expenses the moms really have to pay is the food that the kids eat when they are at their house. Plus, all the grandparents are extremely involved. For my first two kids, it used to be one day a week with my parents, and one day a week - if not two - at the parents of their mother. So basically, I was splitting four days with the mom. I wanted to go 2/2, but I had a bad problem of letting them stay up all night to watch Dora, Darkwing Duck, Mr. Bean [animated], Peppa Pig [when they were smaller], and various other cartoons on YouTube. So it was decided that it would in the best-interest of the kids' development that they go one day a week at my house for a sleepover/free-for-all [lol], and three days with the mom. Typically, they would be three days with the grandparents, as described above - but MINIMUM two.
What happened was this:
I recall meeting your uncle, and he said he came from a large family [your grandma's kids, that time I met your youngest uncle, and he helped me get the memory cards and things I needed to cover the Mr. Olympia that year! I think 2012, if I'm not mistaken. Although it may have been 2013. One of those. I came from a fairly large family myself [by Western or North American standards anyway], of five children.
Yet NONE of my siblings had kids!! And in fact, only just recently did the younger sister of the mother of my first two children finally have a child, and Vivian's mom's brother has a daughter who is around six years old now. She's sad she is no longer the baby, lol. But I guess children/grandchildren go through these sorts of jealousy issues.
Anyway, because I was the ONLY child providing grandchildren, they were in high demand. Consider: my first two kids have THREE biological great-grandmothers who live here in Thunder Bay, Canada!! It's crazy. My mom's mom actually lives up the street from me - maybe 20 houses north of my house. They have their mother's mother's mother [lol], and the mother's father's mother, all living in Thunder Bay.
As a result, they were always in demand for sleepovers and grandparent time - even great-grandparent time.
It was really a blessing to have kids in this circumstance. It allowed me to be a very active father, and to be the one holding all the weight financially, where everyone else got to contribute time [as well as money, but no one contributed as much as I did on that front], and I guess it goes to the old adage "It takes a village to raise a child". I would have gladly taken the children three days a week, and their mommy could have had them one day a week.
I honestly think she could have left town, or even left the province, to attend university rather than do it in town, and that could have worked.
It's a testament to how many people in the extended family supported my kids that the mother of my children was able to do five years of university while raising them.
Everyone wanted them, everyone loved them. They always had a place to be, or a family dinner to attend.
Things went sideways in 2017, when some issues came up [sibling rivalry], that I found difficult to navigate as a man.
One example that I struggled with was in 2014, when my little girl was with a friend, and they wanted to take a bath at my house. They disrobed, then turned on the bath water. When my little girl's friend's mother and I heard the water, we walked into the bathroom to check on them [with her in the lead - we were in the living room adjacent to the bathroom, watching my son], we saw they had disrobed, and I immediately left the bathroom, to allow the mom of my little girl's friend deal with the two naked 5-year-old girls.
I got a text message later that day saying that if her scumbag baby daddy [absentee loser, major roid user, who didn't even live in the city] found out about what happened, all hell would break loose.
I was like "Two little 5-year-old girls wanted to go swimming because the swimming pool was closed that day, and so they made a makeshift swimming pool in the bathtub. I'm sorry, but in the mind of your scumbag ex, is that tantamount to sexual molestation of children?"
That was around June of 2014. That situation weighed on me for months, and by January of 2015, I could no longer deal with it, and had to cut ties.
I really, badly, struggle with #MeToo type allegations, and anyone even vaguely accusing me of sexual misconduct - ESPECIALLY when it involves a child!
So I've had a few bumps in the road as a dad over the years - but I really, really love the entire experience, and I am so grateful to have such active relatives in the picture, which allows me to be the major financial provider for my kids, while having so many loved ones who are willing to take the children to various places, and give them a happy childhood.
I'm honestly blessed, Wiggs. I'm lucky. I know you were married for a long time, and it was great to read that you cut ties in a civil way. Let me tell you - I want to be on civil terms as best as possible with everything, ESPECIALLY the women who gave me children...but if there is one thing I will fight to keep to my dying day, it's the love of my children. There is nothing more important to me than being a dad.
Thank you for the compliments Matt. I'm motivated by the change that has happened in me over the last several years and I'd like others to enjoy. That requires a shift in thinking and anytime that happens, you will be met with resistance but i have a strong constitution. Many ideas passed down to us regarding masculinity actually have hurt us and I feel that someone has to stand up tell the truth and I've been the person as I love health and fitness but went down the wrong path for a long time but am back. True health and fitness.
I didn't know you went down the wrong path for a "long time". Can you tell me how long?
I ask this because I feel that I've been on the wrong path in life ever since I had a falling out with the local strongman community in 2017 [after I won CAASA provincials in the lightweight, under 170-lb, class] when the promoter wanted me to take the videos for his October deadlift contest, and also provide my usual sponsorship $$$. I told him I had family issues [the sibling rivalry issue, where my son was being hurt, and I was being ignored when I brought it up]. I told him I would be back to sponsor his January 2018 Pro Strongman contest.
He was mad at me for not giving him notice [as if I was obligated to give him notice for a voluntary sponsorship of a contest I didn't even know was coming], and removed me from Facebook friends!!
The $10,000 cash I gave him in 2016 and 2017, not to mention the dozens of videos I took for him, with equipment I owned and paid for meant nothing to him apparently.
Anyway, since then, I stopped training!
I hate to say that - but without strongman contests to prepare for, I simply had no motivation to be consistent in the gym. Plus, I had done it for so many years that I just wanted a break from it.
That break has turned into over two years so far!
I got fat during that time - getting up to 213-lb. I started cutting back to 170-lb in March of this year, and hit my goal on June 1st. I have been consistently in ketosis since that time, and intend to cut out all refined carbohydrates by 01/01/2020.
I may become a vegan also, but that is yet to be seen. Only because animal welfare is on my mind a little. I guess vegans have influenced/brainwashed me a little. I just feel guilty about eating meat. It is what it is.
Please tell me more about the bad path you were on - if you are willing to share any of that. If not - I completely understand!
I was fat, lazy, shiftless, and in a bad spot. YouTube had completely de-monetized my channels, and I was not on the best of terms with the mother of my first two children.
It was just sad all around.
I'm almost out of this mess now - YouTube has re-monetized my channels, and things are good on the family front. I am hoping that Vivian has a little sibling born this year.
But anything you have to say that could help motivate me, or get me back to my former best, please let me know.
It is always inspiring to hear from someone who went down a bad path, but who is recovering and doing well now! I didn't know you were on a bad path, and I am glad to hear you are doing better now!!
