The ghrelin mimetics WILL work ALWAYS. Everyone gains weight with them as per the studies. And it's not like like, "wow, I'd like a hotdog," it's more like this can't be healthy, it might kill me."
It's not like weed at all
Would be a shame if you stopped the cycle. Aren't there any types RTSs you like? Or just drink chocolate milk all day. What I did as a kid, which you won't do, is spoon a jar of peanut butter in my mouth and swallow it down with chocoloate milk.
I hate all food. I hate eating. It is one of the biggest pains of my life.
I just ate this cup of Panache rice with a pork chop, and a few brownies from my Father's Day dinner from earlier.
Today, I got enough calories in, thanks to Father's Day.
If I can eat like this every day, my cycle will be a success.
Basically what happened to me is after pouring all my work ethic into first, the mother of new baby girl [who turns five today - and John Goodman turns 70], and one other absolute complete POS, I just burnt out my ability to work hard.
I never poured more of my energy, my money, and worst of all - my mental and emotional energy and my LOVE - into two women, one of whom at least gave me my baby girl, only to get nagging and complaining and insane demands when I literally COULD NOT have done more, it has just put me into a state of - why even bother?
Why do anything?
I have enough money for life, so why do anything? Why take risks, when taking risks literally ruined my life, and I am only now just recovering - assuming I ever recover [which I don't think I will].
That's why I just don't want to risk putting forth effort anymore. And that's why I've selected working out and a cycle to commit to - because only I can cause myself to fail [unless gyms are illegally forced to close again].
That's why this cycle means so much to me - if I can do it, I'll start to want to try on other things again. So I need to do this. And it's been going on. Although now almost two weeks in, and I've still only taken one 250mg Sustanon shot so far.
One thing that IS going incredibly well is training - it feels like I'm in my training prime still. My training is excellent.
I'm going to go one step further, and make an 800 calorie protein shake, with approximately 50 grams of protein.
If only I can bring my training up - this may change my life, and make me want to live again, and take on projects. Not for money that I don't need - but just to feel alive again.
I'm going to force feed for the rest of this month.
This next two weeks will make or break whether or not this cycle is a success - or cancelled by Independence Day.
I will check into Ghrelin. I have no idea what the legal status is, or how one accesses it. I will look into it though.