Brian just shave it off or go get a hair transplant in Turkey. People are messing with you because they don't like you but there is also a lot of truth in what is being said about your hair. Your hair isn't merely thinning. It is far past that point. Trying to comb it past those receding areas behind your temples is no longer sufficient. It isn't covering enough surface area. When you attempt the comb over and fail it looks even sillier than if you hadn't tried in the first place.
IMO you should shave everything off. You'll be surprised at how much hair loss you've suffered when it is only stubble growing back. Then you can decide whether to keep it shaved or do the transplant.