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Getbig Main Boards => Gossip & Opinions => Topic started by: tacobender on November 24, 2019, 08:30:31 PM
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This is a serious post, anyone here know or been through this? My honest story is I’m 37 have my own business which is stress On its own worrying about satisfying customers keeping the good reputation etc. on its own worrying about satisfying customers keeping the good reputation etc.The Home life sucks I’ve been in a miserable relationship for six years my other half has three kids from 7 to 18 years old. I really want to quit but coming home to this manipulative person completely triggered me to want to keep drinking I’m really about putting two to withdrawl symptoms and possible effects. Please chime in honest experiences thank you.
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I've run a business for quite a while- and I know the stress. Got into a drinking habit for a while but kept it under control. Had a lot of the same issues as you.
1) Drinking solves nothing and causes far more issues- health and psychological. And I am sure your kids sense it.
2) Business is just money and customers are fickle. There is no loyalty in business - employees, customers, suppliers- nobody. My biggest customer ended up stealing my tech. They are a Fortune 100 firm.
Just compartmentalize business - it ain't all that. And I have been through recessions, embezzlement,a fire, death in the family, a family member sabotaging my biz- everything . But I sleep like a baby every night ever since I just said fuck it and only get concerned about biz from 8-5. And I have been very successful as a result.
3) As for the home issues- deal with them. Try talking or counseling- never turn to avoidance. Your kids are very resilient if you are straight with them. I always put my kids first but they saw the negative environment and were affected.
4) I told the wife to back off. If she didn't like me the way I was I said then find someone else. I said I have no problem going. I meant it. She said she would take the kids. I said go ahead- they'll eventually realize you are nuts. That shocked her. She has since adapted, lol. And my kids turned out very well ( 2 of them)
The biggest thing about life is we often make it worse than it is. It all ends for all of us and we only have so much time. Make choices based on how short it really is.
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The only other thing is The kids are not mine. I guess maybe I love the kids and stick with them and is probably not the right answer because I don’t want them to feel as if I abandoned them like I said the last father and I don’t wanna mention now but depression was a part of it. Now I’m going down the same road, I was born with addictive personality and heart those two together go hand in hand and it’s not a good thing.
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I was sort of dating a complete leach last year. We weren't official, but she almost drove me insane.
I wish I could offer anything in the way of suggestions, tacobender. I am 37 myself, and intended to start doing cardio at age 40. I've decided I will start it, basically now. I will be 38 on December 21st.
I've set the goal of living a completely clean lifestyle by 01/01/2020. I only drink about one serving of alcohol every two months, and I'm going to make that 0 starting in the new year. I drink about three coffees a month, and they will be cut out in the new year as well. Next is carbohydrates - I intend to primarily if not exclusively be consuming vegetable carbohydrates in the new year.
The way I see it, I'm going to be too old soon to get any serious weight or alcohol/other issues, so I don't even want to flirt with those potential vices. I will be living completely clean as a result.
With the triggers you have at home, I don't know how you can navigate this one. I would start by removing any other bad influences if you can [friends who drink, easy access to alcohol at home, stuff like that].
Are you drinking hard liquor? If so, would switching to beer be a first step? Or weaning down?
It's not easy.
I would say that quitting anything is not linear, and to never quit quitting. In time, you can get it.
If you can go to a cottage in the woods for a month, that could help you progress - although if you have withdrawal symptoms, you may have to deal with it in a medical environment.
For me to follow a clean diet [my diet has been excellent since March], I simply keep no bad foods in the house. I also buy food day by day, these days. That way, there is simply no food in the house for me to stuff my face with.
In other words, I limited my access.
Sounds like you have a big trigger that may be accounting for 50% of your problem or something like that. Removing that trigger may be the biggest individual factor to help you progress. If doing so is even possible.
I think you did the right thing by posting in the forum. It may help hold you accountable, and updating this thread with good news may motivate you to keep taking steps towards your goals.
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Leave her if she's the trigger. And stay in the kids life. If she fights that and makes it hard she's a true girl and there is nothing you can do. However if she cares about what is in the best interest for the kids she will let you remain in their lives without being with her.
The only thing is that you should get a lawyer and discuss before you leave. She may be entitled to half of everything or more.
Good luck.
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Leave her if she's the trigger. And stay in the kids life. If she fights that and makes it hard she's a true girl and there is nothing you can do. However if she cares about what is in the best interest for the kids she will let you remain in their lives without being with her.
The only thing is that you should get a lawyer and discuss before you leave. She may be entitled to half of everything or more.
Good luck.
we aren’t married she’s just my girlfriend, she uses the kids as a manipulation tool, I know people may think I’m being soft but I’m more worried about them thinking I’m abandoning them too as in they list there father as to how much I’m drinking it’s about a 12 pack a night for the last 3-4 years
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And what is driving me insane is the fact that I can admit to my problem and hold myself accountable I blame nobody has it and I didn’t have the easiest upbringing both had serious issues I could easily blame that on why I drink but I have nobody to blame but myself as I am the person that picks up the can. I just hate the fact that she pinpointed everything as me being the issue it’s always me she’s always a blameless victim when in reality I feel like I am the person that thinks logical she’s more on a roller coaster ride nobody’s perfect I don’t claim to be but I could admit when I’m fucking up. And sorry fellas not trying to turn this into you for me to read his more about spreading the love and if anybody’s going through the same things feel free to air it here
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we aren’t married she’s just my girlfriend, she uses the kids as a manipulation tool, I know people may think I’m being soft but I’m more worried about them thinking I’m abandoning them too as in they list there father as to how much I’m drinking it’s about a 12 pack a night for the last 3-4 years
This is a serious problem. How can you take care of the kids when you can't take care of yourself? People always forget that they have to put themselves first or they're no good to anybody else.
If you think she's the reason you drink get the hell out bro.
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If a friend came to you with this exact story, how would you advise him?
Guessing: Dump the broad. It's going nowhere good, and you're wasting good years on a bad relationship. Quit drinking with help or without, although you may find it surprisingly easy once the pain in your ass you're anesthetizing is gone.
Not to be a hardass but the kids are not your kids. Are you seriously willing to mortgage the rest of your life to kids that aren't yours? Because women you meet will run if you are still tied to your ex through her kids. It may even be worth talking to a lawyer to find out if you're somehow on the hook financially for them, if it's safe to help financially if you choose to without that obligating you to further payments, etc. Be smart and practical here, because she is damn sure going to be.
In essence, take the shit that's bad and remove it. Easier said than done, maybe, but what the hell else can you do? If you're in the US it's the wee small hours of the morning, you're drunk according to your posts, and asking known idiots for advice. You already know you're going to make major changes because the way things currently are is not your fate.
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If a friend came to you with this exact story, how would you advise him?
Guessing: Dump the broad. It's going nowhere good, and you're wasting good years on a bad relationship. Quit drinking with help or without, although you may find it surprisingly easy once the pain in your ass you're anesthetizing is gone.
Not to be a hardass but the kids are not your kids. Are you seriously willing to mortgage the rest of your life to kids that aren't yours? Because women you meet will run if you are still tied to your ex through her kids. It may even be worth talking to a lawyer to find out if you're somehow on the hook financially for them, if it's safe to help financially if you choose to without that obligating you to further payments, etc. Be smart and practical here, because she is damn sure going to be.
In essence, take the shit that's bad and remove it. Easier said than done, maybe, but what the hell else can you do? If you're in the US it's the wee small hours of the morning, you're drunk according to your posts, and asking known idiots for advice. You already know you're going to make major changes because the way things currently are is not your fate.
well said brother no need for an attorney as we are not legally binded I appreciate your input buddy.
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well said brother no need for an attorney as we are not legally binded I appreciate your input buddy.
Only mentioned it because laws differ regionally. I've heard tales of guys being on the hook after a mere 6 months of cohabitation but that was here in Australia.
I did the bad relationship thing too. Shit's going to improve for you once you're out.
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I don't drink alcoholic beverages so I would just stop drinking beer right now. I cannot help out with anything other than trying to provide a bit of sympathy because I have a few relatives that are genuine alcoholics.
They drink (or drank) a lot more than a 12 pack a night. Having said that I have no doubt you are aware that 12 a night still ain't good for you.
As to your girlfriend? She's a girl but not much of a friend. The children are not yours in any way, shape or form and she obviously doesn't care about you.
Take the Red Pill and wake up to not being woke, i.e., a cuck. Or not. The choice is yours to make. You're not married, right? You're not in a "common law" situation, right? The kids aren't yours, right?
Is the house yours, hers or do you rent? This last question is the hardest for you as you probably do care somewhat about the kids, but she's probably counting on that. Love begins with loving yourself and that means taking care of number one so she doesn't do a number two on you.
All the best to you my young friend.
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Just get to a meeting and put down the drink.
If you think you have a problem, you do.
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Just get to a meeting and put down the drink.
If you think you have a problem, you do.
Well said, sir.
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The only other thing is The kids are not mine. I guess maybe I love the kids and stick with them and is probably not the right answer because I don’t want them to feel as if I abandoned them like I said the last father and I don’t wanna mention now but depression was a part of it. Now I’m going down the same road, I was born with addictive personality and heart those two together go hand in hand and it’s not a good thing.
It’s not your responsibility to raise her kids. I don’t understand why guys date single moms. Leave her and get your shit together. Who cares about other people’s kids. She’ll find another chump to deal with her mistakes
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I quit drinking 3 years ago. I had started to become a real heavy drinker and not handling it well. Plus I started hiding the amount I was drinking.
A couple of thoughts on it.
Quitting drinking didn't make my life much better. I didn't necessarily feel any better physically nor did quitting improve my mental acuity either.
The problems that caused me to start drinking were still there when I stopped drinking.
However controlling it and having the will power to quit when it was too far out of hand ultimately made me feel a whole lot better about myself. Now grabbing a drink is the furthest thing from my mind. Not needing to hit the market or the liquor store on the way home. It no longer controls my life.
Eventually I was able to sort my problems out simply because I wasn't drunk or hungover all the time. Quitting forced me to find healthier ways to cope with and solve my problems.
Good luck. If you drink long enough nothing good is bound to come of it.
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Hey Tacobender,
Just sitting here, thinking about what you wrote. Thinking about friends who destroyed themselves with drinking. Seeing woman I knew slowly deteriorate through the years until they were shells of themselves. Physically and emotionally all due to alcohol abuse. One friend who I saw recently would not even touch one drink. He told me how he had withdrawal symptoms from when he stopped. It really shocked me to see how he was not the man he once was. How the mighty had fallen.
I like to have a few drinks when I listen to music and do socialize a bit better with it. But the next day I often feel down and out. I tell myself not to take myself seriously when I am feeling low and am smart enough to know that the low times pass. I just give it a day and I am normally better. But it is a downer. You got to take the highs with the low that follows when you drink. When you live alone like I do and get in those zones it can be dangerous.
Jordan Peterson in a talk said that alcohol will wipe out 10-15 percent of people. You got to know from that statistic that it has potential to destroy your life. You can make decisions that you normally would not when your under the influence. I will only allow myself one night usually Saturday night to drink and thats it.
Do your workouts, challenge your mind with something with the time, put some search into a spiritual topic. Work on yourself.
This is what I have to do to keep myself steady and moving forward.
Life is tough, I went through many years not being happy. Then for the past ten years I have been on my own watching from a distance as my ex wife is in another life and lives like I never existed. Its hard to know what to do. I wouldn't want you to lose your family because in the end that is everything.
But you got to stop these people destroying you. If they don't add to you it is not good for you. You can't pour from an empty glass.
I got a line in a song recently. Stop taking tomorrow for granted for every second you have got is borrowed.
Good luck brother. Check in with us to let us know how your getting along.
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Sorry to hear Tacobender, hope you get your life in order.
Are you related to Tres Taco Combo btw?
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How about just limit to a glass or two of wine in the evenings. Or one or 2 whiskeys?
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Get an apartment and move out. Dump the woman. She's destroying you.
Don't take her back when she comes sobbing back to you.
Don't worry about the kids. They'll be ok. They're not your responsibility. Not yours dude.
Save yourself.
Get into some kind of substance abuse program.
Live life one day at a time.
Take action today and stop being a sap.
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Here's what worked for me. I really wanted to quit but was anxious that I would have too hard of a time, and that kept me from trying.
If you really want to quit it really is not that hard and you will NOT have any problems doing it. It will be quite smooth actually.
All you have to do is keep drinking as much as you want.
Just not alcohol.
I drink these La Croix (no homo) seltzer waters now as if they were beers. I drink 4 every night but of course you can drink as many as you want. The lime flavor is the only one I like but try whatever you want.
You can do it and it really isn't that hard once you get started.
Good luck. Oh and if you get a little tense or nervous, take a valerian capsule to take the edge off.
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This is a serious post, anyone here know or been through this? My honest story is I’m 37 have my own business which is stress On its own worrying about satisfying customers keeping the good reputation etc. on its own worrying about satisfying customers keeping the good reputation etc.The Home life sucks I’ve been in a miserable relationship for six years my other half has three kids from 7 to 18 years old. I really want to quit but coming home to this manipulative person completely triggered me to want to keep drinking I’m really about putting two to withdrawl symptoms and possible effects. Please chime in honest experiences thank you.
Taco - I'm Not trying to be Twat to you with this reply - Just my Honest thoughts no offense intended.
You did it to yourself - Why take on single mum of 3??
Did you not Think with a business & taking on a woman with 3 kids one of them a mere baby there'd be no problems.!!!
As for turning to drink how in the hell did you think that was going to help.
My Advice is You need to Man the Fuck up as you got yourself into this situation
You don't come across as very mature or reasoned.
Find somewhere to move to & leave - once you're gone she may just get a whole new attitude
if you're attached to the kids suggest you carry on seeing them - see what she says then if she anti that
then she's a horrible piece of work. I wouldn't mention anything ref moving out until the day you do.
Let her deal with it then - explain it to the kids & tell them you wish to still be in their lives if you do.
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As far as the booze, help is available brother, but you have to take the first step. Reach out. As far a depression, help is also available, there is no shame in taking some meds to help that battle. I know. In the meantime, surround yourself with people that love you and keep your head up because seasons change, and this season of misery doesn't have to be permanent if you don't want it to be. Keep going forward.
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Alcohol compounds problems. Drinking a 12 pack a night is alcoholism. I don't know how anyone could dispute that? A bottle or can of beer is equal to one shot of whiskey in terms of alcohol content. Seek help for that first. Going to AA can really help especially if you believe in God. It helps being around people that have quit drinking. Drinking like that day in and day out will wreck your physical and mental health. For you cutting back isn't the answer. You need to completely quit. In the beginning of sobriety you will feel nervous, shaky, anxiety filled and depressed. After about 4-5 weeks you will notice that is leaving you. Your desire for a drink will fade but it will never completely leave you for the rest of your life. You might feel in time that you can do it just on a Saturday. Soon you will be back to 7 days a week. In time it makes it easier to make the choice of avoiding alcohol. In all candor you are projecting all your relationship problems on your partner but could it be partially you are contributing to your misery and relationship problems? I'm sure she is not happy about dealing with a drunk and a person who is hung over every day. A person with 12 drinks in them is not someone anyone wants to be around day in and day out. Drinking is a temporary fix and no I'm not against having drinks for a non alcoholic person. Seek medical assistance too. You might have liver problems and metabolic problems like high blood sugar from all that drinking. Lastly don't substitute one addiction for another unhealthy choice. A good choice would be something like taking up running. A bad choice would be taking prescription anti anxiety drugs, steroids or becoming a pot head. An addictive personality can spell disaster with the wrong choices.
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I drank about 4to5 years straight got fat then quit n ate more healthy foods got leaner and stopped worrying about hoes i play video games more now i feel fine i suppose i eat more now than when i was fat n drinking but leaner likely because of taking protein powders again. Women and dating are a waste of resources beat one off too some teen voyeur or something after you bust a nut you can easily not care about them. Life is better wen u just let the chips fall where they may accept the dumb hoe for being a dumb hoe let her know shes free to leave, youl be ok
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The only other thing is The kids are not mine. I guess maybe I love the kids and stick with them and is probably not the right answer because I don’t want them to feel as if I abandoned them like I said the last father and I don’t wanna mention now but depression was a part of it. Now I’m going down the same road, I was born with addictive personality and heart those two together go hand in hand and it’s not a good thing.
Before you think about others you have to take care of yourself. If you are on limp mode you are not a good influence on the kids.
Abusive women can and will destroy you. Leave her. Just like that. Love yourself before anything else.
Otherwise you will end up losing you sanity, health, job, your source of income, and inherently she will leave you.
When you leave her, prepare yourself to face some sort of child support demandings from her, regardless of whose the father.
Remember: you first. It's not about selfishness, it's about survival.
The booze will fade away once you have balance in your life. Live alone for a while. Or forever, for that matter.
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Before you think about others you have to take care of yourself. If you are on limp mode you are not a good influence on the kids.
Abusive women can and will destroy you. Leave her. Just like that. Love yourself before anything else.
Otherwise you will end up losing you sanity, health, job, your source of income, and inherently she will leave you.
When you leave her, prepare yourself to face some sort of child support demandings from her, regardless of whose the father.
Remember: you first. It's not about selfishness, it's about survival.
Well written.
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TACO, As soon as I read your unitial post ... an old wound re-opened as I was raised under a somewhat similar environment but with the addition of two alcoholic parents and I eventually realized that there was no solution so I joined the Corps and let the home situation resolve itself.
So with an attempt of a bit of humor under a serious situation ... Go down and visit your nerest recruiter and ask if there is an opening for an over-aged but in good shape US citizen.
Now I'll read the other GetBig comments to see if someone offered a better modus operandi.
WOW! There are some unbelievable GREAT comments here for TACO!
Great to see GetBiggers come together and gffer help.
Where th hell were ya when I needed help years ago?
Most likely not even a thought in your ather's eyeballs yet! (Politely stated!)
PS ... I just read HYPERTROPHY's initial comment and stood up and said. "WOW!". Loudly. Good going, Hype!
WOW! There are some unbelievable GREAT comments here for TACO!
Great to see GetBiggers come together and offer some serious help.
Where the hell were ya when I needed help years ago?
Most likely not even a thought in your ather's eyeballs yet! (Politely stated!)
PS ... I just read HYPERTROPHY's initial comment and stood up and said. "WOW!". Loudly. Good going, Hype!
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This is a serious post, anyone here know or been through this? My honest story is I’m 37 have my own business which is stress On its own worrying about satisfying customers keeping the good reputation etc. on its own worrying about satisfying customers keeping the good reputation etc.The Home life sucks I’ve been in a miserable relationship for six years my other half has three kids from 7 to 18 years old. I really want to quit but coming home to this manipulative person completely triggered me to want to keep drinking I’m really about putting two to withdrawl symptoms and possible effects. Please chime in honest experiences thank you.
Years ago I had a commission sales job that was feast or famine. One week I could make $2,000 and nothing at all for the next two weeks because of lack of or overused leads. Living in Vegas and things were very tight financially. Drank every night to try to handle the stress. When I checked my blood pressure it was 145/93 which is sky high for me (usually 108/68). I found a new job and started doing cardio until I was healthy again. Life is too short to die early or have health problems because of a shitty job. I don't have any kids so that made it much easier to walk away from a bad job or bad relationship.
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The only other thing is The kids are not mine. I guess maybe I love the kids and stick with them and is probably not the right answer because I don’t want them to feel as if I abandoned them like I said the last father and I don’t wanna mention now but depression was a part of it. Now I’m going down the same road, I was born with addictive personality and heart those two together go hand in hand and it’s not a good thing.
Don't be so bloody NAIVE looking after someone else children ::)
Lion DON'T feed other lions pups ;)
Zillions of other pussy around , get OUT !.
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The only other thing is The kids are not mine. I guess maybe I love the kids and stick with them and is probably not the right answer because I don’t want them to feel as if I abandoned them like I said the last father and I don’t wanna mention now but depression was a part of it. Now I’m going down the same road, I was born with addictive personality and heart those two together go hand in hand and it’s not a good thing.
It appears you are self-medicating symptoms of anxiety and depression with alcohol. Trust me, it won't help. In fact, it will likely make things worse. If I may, I recommend to get help with this. A counselor/psychologist is a good start. If anti-anxiety and anti-depressives are recommended, you'll need to see a medical doctor or a psychiatrist who can legally prescribe these things.
You can't be everything to everyone. Step back and take a breath....or better still, a vacation. I doubt you were born with an addictive personality. It is more likely your life experiences gave you a tendency towards addiction. Anxiety and depression are real and some people are more prone to these conditions than others. From your telling of your life at present, it seems likely you've become overwhelmed. If you don't take care of you, you won't be much good to anyone else.
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Mate life is too short, if this bitch and her flock of kids are making you miserable ditch the fucker and concentrate on making yourself happy, how fucking date her have the nerve to treat you like shit when you are good enough to accept her when she has 3 kids in tow, throw the bitch out, drop the drink get in the gym and start getting excited about the new pussy you get to fuck and the prospect of meeting a decent lass who treats you right and makes you happy. Relationships should be looked at from a business viewpoint and if you aren’t getting anything out of the deal it’s time to move on
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You can't overcome the influence of a bad spouse. There is too much time together, so if that's toxic you need to fix that situation.
As others have said, get professional counseling. It's available everywhere and it opens to door to better communication. Maybe you'll part ways, maybe not, but either way you'll probably be making better decisions together.
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I went through the same thing..but I was drinking crazy amounts. A fifth of whiskey or a 24 and a twelve pack at times. I woke up sick everyday. I got tired of how I felt and finally just enough..it was a dark time though. I don't wish depression on anyone. My advise is to leave or have her leave. According how crazy she is it could end of getting worse before it gets better
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Man these are great replies and info, I definitely do not take offense to it I appreciate all the support and advices your giving. I am not someone that wakes up and has to have a drink it’s just more of a after work go home type thing which is horrible but trust me I will be taking her advice everything you guys are saying makes perfect sense and I really also appreciate all the past stories they shed great light .
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Man these are great replies and info, I definitely do not take offense to it I appreciate all the support and advices your giving. I am not someone that wakes up and has to have a drink it’s just more of a after work go home type thing which is horrible but trust me I will be taking her advice everything you guys are saying makes perfect sense and I really also appreciate all the past stories they shed great light .
Don't rationalize your alcoholism away. Who drinks 12 drinks a night every night? I will answer, an alcoholic. Don't be in denial. That is not normal drinking. Try giving it up for three months if your feel you don't need a drink. I bet you can't without help. One last thing with my advices. Maybe your wife is a scumbag. Maybe she isn't. Maybe she is only a scumbag because she lives with a drunk. See if your relationship improves without the nightly booze.
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It's not his wife. They are living together.
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This is a serious post, anyone here know or been through this? My honest story is I’m 37 have my own business which is stress On its own worrying about satisfying customers keeping the good reputation etc. on its own worrying about satisfying customers keeping the good reputation etc.The Home life sucks I’ve been in a miserable relationship for six years my other half has three kids from 7 to 18 years old. I really want to quit but coming home to this manipulative person completely triggered me to want to keep drinking I’m really about putting two to withdrawl symptoms and possible effects. Please chime in honest experiences thank you.
Don't be an asshole keep drinking and take care of those kids ,at least until they are 18 .
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Don't be an asshole keep drinking and take care of those kids ,at least until they are 18 .
Gold Medal for CHE ;D
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It's not his wife. They are living together.
Lots of people are foregoing formalizing a marriage today.
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Don't rationalize your alcoholism away. Who drinks 12 drinks a night every night? I will answer, an alcoholic. Don't be in denial. That is not normal drinking. Try giving it up for three months if your feel you don't need a drink. I bet you can't without help. One last thing with my advices. Maybe your wife is a scumbag. Maybe she isn't. Maybe she is only a scumbag because she lives with a drunk. See if your relationship improves without the nightly booze.
Read this one for emphasis. You're an alcoholic and the quicker you treat that the better.
You might not wake up sweating, dying for booze, but that doesn't mean you're not an alcoholic.
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Don't be an asshole keep drinking and take care of those kids ,at least until they are 18 .
I agree
Quitting is not the answer, continue with hard liquor
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Read this one for emphasis. You're an alcoholic and the quicker you treat that the better.
You might not wake up sweating, dying for booze, but that doesn't mean you're not an alcoholic.
i agree
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Lots of people are foregoing formalizing a marriage today.
Really?
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Don't rationalize your alcoholism away. Who drinks 12 drinks a night every night? I will answer, an alcoholic. Don't be in denial. That is not normal drinking. Try giving it up for three months if your feel you don't need a drink. I bet you can't without help. One last thing with my advices. Maybe your wife is a scumbag. Maybe she isn't. Maybe she is only a scumbag because she lives with a drunk. See if your relationship improves without the nightly booze.
im not rationalizing I’m just saying I’m not the type to wake up and need it in fact it’s the last thing I want. I was saying I’m more of after a long day habitual alcoholic .
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I couldn’t booze if I was under stress. I told my wife I want everything this world has to throw me, good or bad, and I want to feel the highs and lows with a clear head. I actually don’t drink when stressed. I went five months last year without it because of some tough times. I don’t ever want to become a person who self medicates, and it sounds like that may be what you’re doing taco. Put it down, and if the relationship with the girl is toxic, end it.
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Read this one for emphasis. You're an alcoholic and the quicker you treat that the better.
You might not wake up sweating, dying for booze, but that doesn't mean you're not an alcoholic.
This is so true, I say this based on personal experience. When i was drinking excessively, I didn't get drunk, I never got a DUII. I didn't have hangovers and I didn't wake up in the morning dying for booze until around 6:00 pm. Instead of feeling less depressed, I felt more so. Instead of having less anxiety, I was more anxious. I could and did even quit drinking for weeks at a time with no
DTS, but I always went back to it. Alcohol is poison. It poisons your mind and I poisons your body.
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This is so true, I say this based on personal experience. When i was drinking excessively, I didn't get drunk, I never got a DUII. I didn't have hangovers and I didn't wake up in the morning dying for booze until around 6:00 pm. Instead of feeling less depressed, I felt more so. Instead of having less anxiety, I was more anxious. I could and did even quit drinking for weeks at a time with no
DTS, but I always went back to it. Alcohol is poison. It poisons your mind and I poisons your body.
wow that’s great info
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Luckily kids aren't yours. Walk away and take care of yourself and your business. No drama, no revenge, no need to get the final word in...cut losses and just walk.
I know people that need AA meetings 20 years later and I know people that just decided to quit.
Friend of mine started drinking flavored seltzer water at night to taper back. I thought he was an alcoholic for life but he got older and started feeling the drinks and worked a plan.
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The thing is I’ve gotten to the point to where I no longer need in life the hardest part is quitting getting through the withdrawals if I can do that which I know I can it will be one day at a time I come from a family of alcoholism and I accept what I am. I guess the hardest part is the first step. Change has always been difficult for me.
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The thing is I’ve gotten to the point to where I no longer need in life the hardest part is quitting getting through the withdrawals if I can do that which I know I can it will be one day at a time I come from a family of alcoholism and I accept what I am. I guess the hardest part is the first step. Change has always been difficult for me.
I don't understand why you won't leave her? You haven't told us what is so scary about that except for the fact it's change.
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The thing is I’ve gotten to the point to where I no longer need in life the hardest part is quitting getting through the withdrawals if I can do that which I know I can it will be one day at a time I come from a family of alcoholism and I accept what I am. I guess the hardest part is the first step. Change has always been difficult for me.
Change is difficult but not impossible for most people. Nobody needs alcohol, they just think they do. The reason alcoholism seems to run in families is because it is learned behavior. There are people who were children of alcoholics who totally reject alcohol. My step-dad and my wife never drank alcoholic beverages. Both had a parent who was an alcoholic.
It is wise to be concerned about withdrawal. Even people who don't suffer the symptoms of detoxification, should seek professional help when quitting alcohol. If your body has become used to it, quitting alcohol cold turkey can be a deadly shock to your system.
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Drunks support Hillary, don't they ;D
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If u want to stop drinking, stop drinking. If you can't then get help. If one form of help doesn't work, try another . I have "a friend" who tried naltrexone, Antabuse, in patient rehab, AA - nothing worked. Then his MD told him if he didn't stop he'd be dead with 5 years. He's been sober as a nun for 10+ years now. Healthy as a horse.
There is no 1 kind of alcoholic and no 1 way to stop
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Addiction is hereditary, so doing it habitually is an issue for you, Ive never been an addict, but Ive been a serial binger, work all week, train all week, then hit it saturday afternoon and night to de stress, I deserved it, I earned it, now i accept that was wrong. I also come from a family background that have issues around addiction.
I have drank 4 times this year, each time a reminder of why I don't as I consume too much and I drink to get drunk, not to be social, although it starts that way.
Took me a few years of weekly sessions to work myself out, as it will you if you want to change, I no longer blindside myself getting drunk, I'm aware of stress, how i manage stress, acting on impulses triggers etc. I still fall of the wagon occasionally, but as I tell my therapist, i do it from a far more informed position.
You need to go and get some professional help, I was the last person who would ever have contemplated going and as I was only doing the weekend binge and I didn't think i needed help, but i did, i needed to face what I was escaping from in a different way, and I no longer drink as I'm stressed or had a hard week at work, and I have a shiteload of responsibility and stress with a lot of people counting on me to pay their mortgages and feed their families, it ways heavy on me, but even heavier from a point of the next day after a bender.
Get some help, understanding how your body and mind manipulates your subconscious is what you need to learn and understand, as long as you want to change and are prepared to, your life will improve with or without her. You can't make life decisions whilst your drinking.
Good luck
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Addiction is hereditary, so doing it habitually is an issue for you, Ive never been an addict, but Ive been a serial binger, work all week, train all week, then hit it saturday afternoon and night to de stress, I deserved it, I earned it, now i accept that was wrong. I also come from a family background that have issues around addiction.
I have drank 4 times this year, each time a reminder of why I don't as I consume too much and I drink to get drunk, not to be social, although it starts that way.
Took me a few years of weekly sessions to work myself out, as it will you if you want to change, I no longer blindside myself getting drunk, I'm aware of stress, how i manage stress, acting on impulses triggers etc. I still fall of the wagon occasionally, but as I tell my therapist, i do it from a far more informed position.
You need to go and get some professional help, I was the last person who would ever have contemplated going and as I was only doing the weekend binge and I didn't think i needed help, but i did, i needed to face what I was escaping from in a different way, and I no longer drink as I'm stressed or had a hard week at work, and I have a shiteload of responsibility and stress with a lot of people counting on me to pay their mortgages and feed their families, it ways heavy on me, but even heavier from a point of the next day after a bender.
Get some help, understanding how your body and mind manipulates your subconscious is what you need to learn and understand, as long as you want to change and are prepared to, your life will improve with or without her. You can't make life decisions whilst your drinking.
Good luck
My mom was a binge drinker. She could go as long as a couple of months between her one night binges. She was also able to occasionally drink one or two socially between binges. When she'd go on her "night out" binge she'd drink what seemed like an enormous amount of alcohol and she'd get really drunk but somehow manage to stay upright. She was not a fun drunk, quite the opposite.
Unlike my mom, I cut myself off before I got drunk except for a couple of experiences as a teenager and young adult when I got really loaded.
Among those abusing alcohol, people who are genetically predisposed to alcoholism have a higher risk of developing an alcohol use disorder. Although people can inherit alcoholic tendencies, the development of an alcohol use disorder is also dependent on social and environmental factors. Some who have inherited genes making them susceptible to alcoholism are responsible drinkers or never take a drink in their life.
Research shows that genes are responsible for about half of the risk for AUD. Therefore, genes alone do not determine whether someone will develop AUD. Environmental factors, as well as gene and environment interactions account for the remainder of the risk.
- National Institute of Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism
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Hey brother,
You have to diagnose the problem, work on that problem. When kids are involved its tough. Don't ever fuck your life up over another. You're better and mentally stronger than that.
Stay strong man. Do what you know is right.
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Only a retard gay is add dick ted
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Addiction is not hereditary. These substances are man-made, so there is no "addiction gene". Maybe you have inherited a personality disorder who knows.
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Addiction is hereditary, so doing it habitually is an issue for you, Ive never been an addict, but Ive been a serial binger, work all week, train all week, then hit it saturday afternoon and night to de stress, I deserved it, I earned it, now i accept that was wrong. I also come from a family background that have issues around addiction.
I have drank 4 times this year, each time a reminder of why I don't as I consume too much and I drink to get drunk, not to be social, although it starts that way.
Took me a few years of weekly sessions to work myself out, as it will you if you want to change, I no longer blindside myself getting drunk, I'm aware of stress, how i manage stress, acting on impulses triggers etc. I still fall of the wagon occasionally, but as I tell my therapist, i do it from a far more informed position.
You need to go and get some professional help, I was the last person who would ever have contemplated going and as I was only doing the weekend binge and I didn't think i needed help, but i did, i needed to face what I was escaping from in a different way, and I no longer drink as I'm stressed or had a hard week at work, and I have a shiteload of responsibility and stress with a lot of people counting on me to pay their mortgages and feed their families, it ways heavy on me, but even heavier from a point of the next day after a bender.
Get some help, understanding how your body and mind manipulates your subconscious is what you need to learn and understand, as long as you want to change and are prepared to, your life will improve with or without her. You can't make life decisions whilst your drinking.
Good luck
Weak minded and the beta gene is hereditary
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Dude,I drank for 33 years due to personal issues I was going through.....solved fucking nothing......only created more problems.
Get help quitting today........trust me, you`ll thank me later.
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It’s not your responsibility to raise her kids. I don’t understand why guys date single moms. Leave her and get your shit together. Who cares about other people’s kids. She’ll find another chump to deal with her mistakes
x2 nothing worse than a single mom
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This is a serious post, anyone here know or been through this? My honest story is I’m 37 have my own business which is stress On its own worrying about satisfying customers keeping the good reputation etc. on its own worrying about satisfying customers keeping the good reputation etc.The Home life sucks I’ve been in a miserable relationship for six years my other half has three kids from 7 to 18 years old. I really want to quit but coming home to this manipulative person completely triggered me to want to keep drinking I’m really about putting two to withdrawl symptoms and possible effects. Please chime in honest experiences thank you.
Man up dude