Stop questioning stop doubting and start believing I see my path do you see yours?
You talked the talk, and just walked the walk of a real competitive bodybuilder.
Ok, you didn't get 1st, but still beat most of the guys you competed against and won 3 medals.
Your life's had it's up and downs, but you didn't let anything hold you back.
You've posted about your new 2 yr job and own a nice home with pool.
You're in kick ass shape for 43 with a steady gf .
Based on THAT criteria, you're living life, as a proud, independent man.