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Getbig Main Boards => Gossip & Opinions => Topic started by: FitnessFrenzy on February 07, 2021, 10:11:31 AM
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Do you have some good stories to share?
And yes, Prime, this thread is sexual!
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I can start out... remember once seeing this asian woman a few times. She was a bit overweight, but still attractive somehow. On the second date, I went to her apartment, and I think we fucked 4 times during the evening and the next day. Then I text her when I came home, and then no reply. Lol. You really have to wonder about those situations.
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:'(
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I can start out... remember once seeing this asian woman a few times. She was a bit overweight, but still attractive somehow. On the second date, I went to her apartment, and I think we fucked 4 times during the evening and the next day. Then I text her when I came home, and then no reply. Lol. You really have to wonder about those situations.
Maybe you have a little Bruce Lee running around out there and don't even know it.
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Maybe you have a little Bruce Lee running around out there and don't even know it.
she would have pestered me for child support money...
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Josh, can you tell us about that time a woman licked your butt hole?
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:'(
Hahaha
Josh, can you tell us about that time a woman licked your butt hole?
Haha woohoo yes please do.
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While holidaying in some shithole town in Florida I met a vaguely familiar looking woman with large tits and questionable morals but after a few drinks she invited me back home for sex and though why not as was in holiday mood still in the back of my mind tying to put my finger on where I had seen her afore
We headed immediately to the bedroom and after passionate foreplay including prolonged eating of the pussy and ass she climbs on top and starts riding cowgirl position and she’s getting into it good and proper when she bounces a little too high and the tiddler slips out of her, almost instantly a feel it get guided back in but notice both her hands are still on my shoulder so I tentatively peer round and I see fucking Shizzo at the foot of the bed smiling and giving me the thumbs up and the penny finally drops as to who she is, She screams at him to get the fuck out and tells me it’s her brother shaun and he’s always up to sick twisted shit like this and can’t wait to move out. I pretend I don’t already know who he is and leave
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Wes, I also know you have some good stories left in your sleeve!
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Josh, can you tell us about that time a woman licked your butt hole?
haha sure. She was some 20 year old stripper who I hooked up with back when I was young and decent looking. We jumped in the sack and she just stuck her head down there and went to town. Ill admit it was wild and I nearly shot through the roof. Damn she was hot, but never hooked up again. Ironic part--she got a Doctorate in Molecular Biology (or something like that) and is the head scientific advisor in the oncology department at a major hospital
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I remember once I was dating this chick for a few months. She was riding on top of me when I decided to stick a finger up her ass. She liked it. Proceeded to fuck her in the ass while she was on her back on the edge of the bed. I was preoccupied with this, so the next day I realized I had been scraping my toes on the wooden floor. Couldn't even cum in her ass :(
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haha sure. She was some 20 year old stripper who I hooked up with back when I was young and decent looking. We jumped in the sack and she just stuck her head down there and went to town. Ill admit it was wild and I nearly shot through the roof. Damn she was hot, but never hooked up again. Ironic part--she got a Doctorate in Molecular Biology (or something like that) and is the head scientific advisor in the oncology department at a major hospital
Wow. I don't think most girls who lick ass have such a glorious career path. Was she extroverted?
I just have a hard time imagine an introverted woman would lick ass...
It would be statistically uncommon, I imagine.
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Wow. I don't think most girls who lick ass have such a glorious career path. Was she extroverted?
I just have a hard time imagine an introverted woman would lick ass...
It would be statistically uncommon, I imagine.
she was a ripper--Id venture to say she was extroverted
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While holidaying in some shithole town in Florida I met a vaguely familiar looking woman with large tits and questionable morals but after a few drinks she invited me back home for sex and though why not as was in holiday mood still in the back of my mind tying to put my finger on where I had seen her afore
We headed immediately to the bedroom and after passionate foreplay including prolonged eating of the pussy and ass she climbs on top and starts riding cowgirl position and she’s getting into it good and proper when she bounces a little too high and the tiddler slips out of her, almost instantly a feel it get guided back in but notice both her hands are still on my shoulder so I tentatively peer round and I see fucking Shizzo at the foot of the bed smiling and giving me the thumbs up and the penny finally drops as to who she is, She screams at him to get the fuck out and tells me it’s her brother shaun and he’s always up to sick twisted shit like this and can’t wait to move out. I pretend I don’t already know who he is and leave
Hahahha that was great.legit laughed out loud.
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haha sure. She was some 20 year old stripper who I hooked up with back when I was young and decent looking. We jumped in the sack and she just stuck her head down there and went to town. Ill admit it was wild and I nearly shot through the roof. Damn she was hot, but never hooked up again. Ironic part--she got a Doctorate in Molecular Biology (or something like that) and is the head scientific advisor in the oncology department at a major hospital
So you're saying it was research..? ;D
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So you're saying it was research..? ;D
haha I guess in essence it was
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So you're saying it was research..? ;D
I'm not sure, but I know the title of her thesis for her Doctorate in Molecular Biology was:
"A qualitative study of the micro biology of anal environments of Regina men"
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Wes, I also know you have some good stories left in your sleeve!
I`ve got a truckload full of them......I`ll share one when I was just 20 and began seeing this chick who was 33................she blew my mind and blew my cock quite often...........mch to my delight!! ;D
I`t a long story........saw her off and on for years.......broad taught me shit I never even knew existed at the time.
More coming,gotta` eat !
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do you guys like it when girls want to gently bite your nipple?
Had a few women do that to me, and I don't like it.
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I've got a few dozen good stories.
One of my favorites was about 6-7 years ago i was dating this Asian broad who had a smoking hot sister. We went on a vacation trip to San Diego as couples, my GF's sister brought her douchbag hipster boyfriend.
First night we are there everyone gets super drunk, GF sister's BF passes out on the couch early. GF sister passes out in a recliner. Around 1 am the BF leaves to go sleep in his room, so i end up laying on the couch watching TV. I'm half asleep when the sister comes over, sits next to me and starts playing with my dick. After she starts blowing me for a few minutes she realizes i'm not her BF. ;D Freaks out and runs out of the living room.
We never spoke about it, but it was a weird vacation after that.
Another one, i was dating this broad from El Salvador. One of her best friends wanted me badly, always flirting with me and giving me eyes. Once i broke up with the ES chick a week later i start banging her best friend. She was a freak, loved to dress up and play with toys.
My ex finds out and they get into a huge fight, both super upset at each other but not me.
I end up banging both of them "separately" for about 3 months. They were competing for me. Both knew i was banging the other, it was one of the most amazing moments of my life.
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I've got a few dozen good stories.
One of my favorites was about 6-7 years ago i was dating this Asian broad who had a smoking hot sister. We went on a vacation trip to San Diego as couples, my GF's sister brought her douchbag hipster boyfriend.
First night we are there everyone gets super drunk, GF sister's BF passes out on the couch early. GF sister passes out in a recliner. Around 1 am the BF leaves to go sleep in his room, so i end up laying on the couch watching TV. I'm half asleep when the sister comes over, sits next to me and starts playing with my dick. After she starts blowing me for a few minutes she realizes i'm not her BF. ;D Freaks out and runs out of the living room.
We never spoke about it, but it was a weird vacation after that.
Another one, i was dating this broad from El Salvador. One of her best friends wanted me badly, always flirting with me and giving me eyes. Once i broke up with the ES chick a week later i start banging her best friend. She was a freak, loved to dress up and play with toys.
My ex finds out and they get into a huge fight, both super upset at each other but not me.
I end up banging both of them "separately" for about 3 months. They were competing for me. Both knew i was banging the other, it was one of the most amazing moments of my life.
Raw, no pullout?
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do you guys like it when girls want to gently bite your nipple?
Had a few women do that to me, and I don't like it.
absolutely fucking hate it. How can anyone like that?
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Raw, no pullout?
Always RAW, i don't wear condoms.
I don't trust women enough to believe if they are really on birth control.
Most women deserve a load to the face anyway.
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While holidaying in some shithole town in Florida I met a vaguely familiar looking woman with large tits and questionable morals but after a few drinks she invited me back home for sex and though why not as was in holiday mood still in the back of my mind tying to put my finger on where I had seen her afore
We headed immediately to the bedroom and after passionate foreplay including prolonged eating of the pussy and ass she climbs on top and starts riding cowgirl position and she’s getting into it good and proper when she bounces a little too high and the tiddler slips out of her, almost instantly a feel it get guided back in but notice both her hands are still on my shoulder so I tentatively peer round and I see fucking Shizzo at the foot of the bed smiling and giving me the thumbs up and the penny finally drops as to who she is, She screams at him to get the fuck out and tells me it’s her brother shaun and he’s always up to sick twisted shit like this and can’t wait to move out. I pretend I don’t already know who he is and leave
:-X
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Always RAW, i don't wear condoms.
I don't trust women enough to believe if they are really on birth control.
Most women deserve a load to the face anyway.
Good man
When I was younger, I was the sort of guy that would have even banged the cancer lady out of Fight Club, so I know where you are coming from 8)
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Good man
When I was younger, I was the sort of guy that would have even banged the cancer lady out of Fight Club, so I know where you are coming from 8)
She was actually pretty hot.
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Always RAW here too, never used Condoms
Still alive, no Gon or Chlam or AIDS :D
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Not sure I have enough ink my computer to type up all of the stories.
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I remember once chilling with this broad I was banging a few times.. we were on her couch watching some shitty movie, and I was quite horny. She was not horny. Then there was a whole discussion about whether I was only dating her for sex or not. Ugh. I should probably just have went home and avoided the headache.
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Always RAW here too, never used Condoms
Still alive, no Gon or Chlam or AIDS :D
Probably herpes, though.
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Pulled a bird in a club, went back to her place, fucked her, she fell asleep, I was still high and drunk, thought: fuck this! I’m going back to the club, no money on me, called a cab, took £10 from her purse to pay for the cab, went back, met the lads, got even more wasted, pulled another girl, went back to hers, fucked her for hours, couldn’t cum, too high, fell asleep. Woke up, she wasn’t there, went to leave, her mum was in the kitchen, had cooked me a full English and called me a cab. I said: so sorry, but I’ve lost my wallet. She gave me £10 for the cab back to my mates place. Got back, did a load of cocaine and went out for an all day session. Needless to say; quite the hangover.
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When I was a young fella in Colorada I worked at a shootin range. A chick started there one day, just a touch of Goth in all black with black dyed hair but nice build, YWHI, and she decided I was Option A so that same afternoon she's in my 90s north Denver appartment because who am I to argue.
I can't recall how the tape player came to be in the bedroom but it was and before the act of congress she had put on a tape which she had brought with her. The Stray Cats. "Chasin' mice arouuuunnd..." Dreadful rockabilly stuff.
A day or two later she comes around again. Puts on the same tape. Day or two later again. Stray Cats again. This went on for a couple months. She put that Stray Cats tape on every single time. Every time.
She's the only girl I've had sex with whose name I can't remember and I feel bad about that. She was nice and the sex was good and she was wonderfully no-strings about it. But always with the Stray Cats. To this day I don't know what to make of that.
I always meant to put on a Stray Cats tape of my own with a woman and see if it sent her cock-wild but never got around to testing the hypothesis.
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When I was younger, I was the sort of guy that would have even banged the cancer lady out of Fight Club, so I know where you are coming from 8)
She was actually pretty hot.
Could have probably talked her into anal too...
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Pulled a bird in a club, went back to her place, fucked her, she fell asleep, I was still high and drunk, thought: fuck this! I’m going back to the club, no money on me, called a cab, took £10 from her purse to pay for the cab, went back, met the lads, got even more wasted, pulled another girl, went back to hers, fucked her for hours, couldn’t cum, too high, fell asleep. Woke up, she wasn’t there, went to leave, her mum was in the kitchen, had cooked me a full English and called me a cab. I said: so sorry, but I’ve lost my wallet. She gave me £10 for the cab back to my mates place. Got back, did a load of cocaine and went out for an all day session. Needless to say; quite the hangover.
Fvck me that's a story! ;D Only way you could have improved on that is by banging the Mum (before eating the breakfast, so you didn't spew up on her)
Surely a thread winner right there? I've got one, but it's a bit embarrassing - got to work myself up a bit...
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Does Mr. Brosnan make an appearance?
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wes, you promised us a few stories... 8)
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While holidaying in some shithole town in Florida I met a vaguely familiar looking woman with large tits and questionable morals but after a few drinks she invited me back home for sex and though why not as was in holiday mood still in the back of my mind tying to put my finger on where I had seen her afore
We headed immediately to the bedroom and after passionate foreplay including prolonged eating of the pussy and ass she climbs on top and starts riding cowgirl position and she’s getting into it good and proper when she bounces a little too high and the tiddler slips out of her, almost instantly a feel it get guided back in but notice both her hands are still on my shoulder so I tentatively peer round and I see fucking Shizzo at the foot of the bed smiling and giving me the thumbs up and the penny finally drops as to who she is, She screams at him to get the fuck out and tells me it’s her brother shaun and he’s always up to sick twisted shit like this and can’t wait to move out. I pretend I don’t already know who he is and leave
Shizzo touched your dick ?
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she was a ripper--Id venture to say she was extroverted
So some strippers really are doing it to "pay for college"?
She is an anomaly either way.
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Could have probably talked her into anal too...
I wouldn't fuck a chic on chemo. Your dick might fall off.
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When I was a young fella in Colorada I worked at a shootin range. A chick started there one day, just a touch of Goth in all black with black dyed hair but nice build, YWHI, and she decided I was Option A so that same afternoon she's in my 90s north Denver appartment because who am I to argue.
I can't recall how the tape player came to be in the bedroom but it was and before the act of congress she had put on a tape which she had brought with her. The Stray Cats. "Chasin' mice arouuuunnd..." Dreadful rockabilly stuff.
A day or two later she comes around again. Puts on the same tape. Day or two later again. Stray Cats again. This went on for a couple months. She put that Stray Cats tape on every single time. Every time.
She's the only girl I've had sex with whose name I can't remember and I feel bad about that. She was nice and the sex was good and she was wonderfully no-strings about it. But always with the Stray Cats. To this day I don't know what to make of that.
I always meant to put on a Stray Cats tape of my own with a woman and see if it sent her cock-wild but never got around to testing the hypothesis.
I dated a Puerto Rican chick that always put music on when we fucked.
It was typically raggaeton or salsa music.
I learned a lot of Marc Anthony songs banging this chick. ;D
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Actually if I post any of my stories, I`d just be reminded of how fucking old I got.
Let just say that this perverted bastard got as much pussy as possible.
It was my full time job and I put in tons of overtime!!
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Good man
When I was younger, I was the sort of guy that would have even banged the cancer lady out of Fight Club, so I know where you are coming from 8)
I've "taken a few for the team" before. :D
Another good one.
It was 05/06 when online dating started to take off. I was meeting a lot of women but most of them weren't much to write home about. I met this chick who grew up in Moldova and she was cute with nice tittonas. We chatted for a few weeks and she was telling me how conservative she was and how she was looking for a "husband" not just dating. Typical.
First date we go out for seafood, she orders a bunch of oysters and continues to tell me about their aphrodisiac properties. I don't think much of it. Date goes good, she's pretty cool and asks me if i want to come over to her place for a glass of wine. We get there and she tells me to wait in my car for a few minutes. This turned into like 20 minutes and i was kind of getting annoyed.
She comes and gets me from the car, she lives in a nice condo in a rich part of town. We go inside and drink some wine, then she takes me outside on the top floor patio and there's like 100 candles lit, blankets and a red velvet bag. We start making out and she opens the bag, it's filled with sexy toys.
She looks me dead in the face and asks "do you have a problem with anal"? I paused because i wasn't sure if she meant me or her. ;D
This chick was an absolute freak and liked to put on a show. It was amazing, there were no boundaries, ANYTHING went. I had to chill because she started asking me to choke her and slap her around, that's not something i'm into for legal reasons. :D
Anyway, it's like 3am and we go back inside. Her freaking mom is sitting on the couch drinking tea reading a book. I was like "what the fuck", she asked if we were having "fun" outside. :-X Apparently it was her mom's place and she was very open minded.
Weird as fuck, i dated her for a few months and we used to smoke weed in her mom's house and have wild monkey sex all day. Then her mom would make us food and drinks. Fuckin weird people.
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I've "taken a few for the team" before. :D
Another good one.
It was 05/06 when online dating started to take off. I was meeting a lot of women but most of them weren't much to write home about. I met this chick who grew up in Moldova and she was cute with nice tittonas. We chatted for a few weeks and she was telling me how conservative she was and how she was looking for a "husband" not just dating. Typical.
First date we go out for seafood, she orders a bunch of oysters and continues to tell me about their aphrodisiac properties. I don't think much of it. Date goes good, she's pretty cool and asks me if i want to come over to her place for a glass of wine. We get there and she tells me to wait in my car for a few minutes. This turned into like 20 minutes and i was kind of getting annoyed.
She comes and gets me from the car, she lives in a nice condo in a rich part of town. We go inside and drink some wine, then she takes me outside on the top floor patio and there's like 100 candles lit, blankets and a red velvet bag. We start making out and she opens the bag, it's filled with sexy toys.
She looks me dead in the face and asks "do you have a problem with anal"? I paused because i wasn't sure if she meant me or her. ;D
This chick was an absolute freak and liked to put on a show. It was amazing, there were no boundaries, ANYTHING went. I had to chill because she started asking me to choke her and slap her around, that's not something i'm into for legal reasons. :D
Anyway, it's like 3am and we go back inside. Her freaking mom is sitting on the couch drinking tea reading a book. I was like "what the fuck", she asked if we were having "fun" outside. :-X Apparently it was her mom's place and she was very open minded.
Weird as fuck, i dated her for a few months and we used to smoke weed in her mom's house and have wild monkey sex all day. Then her mom would make us food and drinks. Fuckin weird people.
that is some fucked up shit
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I've "taken a few for the team" before. :D
Another good one.
It was 05/06 when online dating started to take off. I was meeting a lot of women but most of them weren't much to write home about. I met this chick who grew up in Moldova and she was cute with nice tittonas. We chatted for a few weeks and she was telling me how conservative she was and how she was looking for a "husband" not just dating. Typical.
First date we go out for seafood, she orders a bunch of oysters and continues to tell me about their aphrodisiac properties. I don't think much of it. Date goes good, she's pretty cool and asks me if i want to come over to her place for a glass of wine. We get there and she tells me to wait in my car for a few minutes. This turned into like 20 minutes and i was kind of getting annoyed.
She comes and gets me from the car, she lives in a nice condo in a rich part of town. We go inside and drink some wine, then she takes me outside on the top floor patio and there's like 100 candles lit, blankets and a red velvet bag. We start making out and she opens the bag, it's filled with sexy toys.
She looks me dead in the face and asks "do you have a problem with anal"? I paused because i wasn't sure if she meant me or her. ;D
This chick was an absolute freak and liked to put on a show. It was amazing, there were no boundaries, ANYTHING went. I had to chill because she started asking me to choke her and slap her around, that's not something i'm into for legal reasons. :D
Anyway, it's like 3am and we go back inside. Her freaking mom is sitting on the couch drinking tea reading a book. I was like "what the fuck", she asked if we were having "fun" outside. :-X Apparently it was her mom's place and she was very open minded.
Weird as fuck, i dated her for a few months and we used to smoke weed in her mom's house and have wild monkey sex all day. Then her mom would make us food and drinks. Fuckin weird people.
When do we hear about part 2 where you bang the mom?
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I’m visiting New Orleans for the first time and we find ourselves at some dive bar surrounded by black folks. We’re shooting billiards and some humongous black chick starts flirting with me. I mean HUGE. She’s at least 350lbs no joke. Now I’m no prize but I usually date 5s and 6s. This beast was a solid zero. So I’m drinking and flirting back just for fun and before you know it I’m sitting on her lap and she’s now buying the drinks. I jokingly tell my buddy I’m pretty sure this chick is gonna kill me if I don’t fuck her. He says if you do and bring me proof I’ll pay for the flight back to Cleveland.
That’s like $120. But aside from the money a part of me starts wondering ‘When was the last time this orca whale got laid?’ I mean she was absolutely horrendous monstrously obese and horribly sweaty and all. And she was being soooo nice to me that I started thinking about it in a charitable kind of way. So I when she asks me to come back to her place I accepted and immediately regretted my decision when we pulled up to what looked like an abandoned home and we had to go around the back and go into the basement where a filthy mattress sat on the floor next to a milk crate. I immediately panicked and thought I was about to be mugged. Then I realized she might be a prostitute and this was her flop house.
I tried to get out of it by telling her I didn’t have any condoms and I didn’t want to get her pregnant but this bitch was two steps ahead of me. ‘I’m already pregnant,’ she laughed as she led me by the hand down onto the filthy floor. Did I mention it smelled like raw sewage. I remember it smelled so bad that when I put my face close to her sweaty nasty armpits it was actually a relief.
I thought at least she might go down on me and I could bust one and make a run for it but again I was drunk and she was thinking nine moves ahead like Kasparov. So she just casually takes off her sweat soaked purple leggings and black thong and spreads her legs and yells ‘EAT ME, SUGAR!’
I was so stunned I couldn’t decide whether to vomit or die laughing. But somehow, I obeyed and began lapping up her puddles of her Denny’s combo of fecal, sweat and vag juice. She came and immediately got up on all fours and shouted ‘NOW FUCK DAT PUSSY’. At this point I believe I was suffering from Stockholm Syndrome and just did what I was told. I’m in her sweaty smelly twat and thinking that since I didn’t serve in Vietnam like my dad, this will be the best war story I’ll ever be able to tell my nephews when they grow up.
I’m on autopilot at this point and I figure I may as well fuck her in the ass and cap off the night in heroic fashion so I look down and use every bit of my powerlifting lockout to spread her gigantic ass cheeks to find her asshole entrance. But to my shock and horror she didn’t have an anus...
...unless....
...I reach down below the hood with my fingers feeling around and using my Braille powers find a loose wet dripping pair of wizard sleeves. It hits me like a freight train...
I’M ALREADY IN HER ASS. IVE BEEN THERE THE WHOLE TIME.
I finish in her ass and collapse on top of her like a baby seal taking a nap on a Sperm whale. When I wake up the sun is up and I ready to make my getaway. But I still need proof for my friend so he doesn’t pull an Epic is Back and stiff me. So I get dressed, grab her thong and stuff it into my jeans and tiptoe towards the door hoping her snoring will cover up the sound of me opening all three locks on the door.
Again, I didn’t realize I had fucked Magnus Carlsen. I flip one dead bolt and the snoring immediately stops. I FREEZE.
“I know you ain’t stealing my damn thong!”
I tell her I was on my way to get coffee and forgot about them and pulled them out and tossed them to her.
“if you goin to Dunkin’ Donuts can you gemme three jelly donuts?”
Sure I say. I walk out of that dungeon up the stairs and I swear Andy DuFresne had absolutely nothing on me. I jumped for joy and then immediately tried to figure out where the nearest place to charge my flip phone could possibly be. New Orleans is a shithole and I had to be in the shittiest part of the dirtiest city.
I finally had to borrow someone’s phone on the street and call my friend to come get me. He picks me up and I tell him the flight home is on him. He of course asks for proof and I tell him to smell my fingers. Not good enough, he tells me.
So in the end I paid my own way home but a few months later he finally paid up.
AFTER I showed him my positive herpes test results.
Solid dude kept his word!
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I’m visiting New Orleans for the first time and we find ourselves at some dive bar surrounded by black folks. We’re shooting billiards and some humongous black chick starts flirting with me. I mean HUGE. She’s at least 350lbs no joke. Now I’m no prize but I usually date 5s and 6s. This beast was a solid zero. So I’m drinking and flirting back just for fun and before you know it I’m sitting on her lap and she’s now buying the drinks. I jokingly tell my buddy I’m pretty sure this chick is gonna kill me if I don’t fuck her. He says if you do and bring me proof I’ll pay for the flight back to Cleveland.
That’s like $120. But aside from the money a part of me starts wondering ‘When was the last time this orca whale got laid?’ I mean she was absolutely horrendous monstrously obese and horribly sweaty and all. And she was being soooo nice to me that I started thinking about it in a charitable kind of way. So I when she asks me to come back to her place I accepted and immediately regretted my decision when we pulled up to what looked like an abandoned home and we had to go around the back and go into the basement where a filthy mattress sat on the floor next to a milk crate. I immediately panicked and thought I was about to be mugged. Then I realized she might be a prostitute and this was her flop house.
I tried to get out of it by telling her I didn’t have any condoms and I didn’t want to get her pregnant but this bitch was two steps ahead of me. ‘I’m already pregnant,’ she laughed as she led me by the hand down onto the filthy floor. Did I mention it smelled like raw sewage. I remember it smelled so bad that when I put my face close to her sweaty nasty armpits it was actually a relief.
I thought at least she might go down on me and I could bust one and make a run for it but again I was drunk and she was thinking nine moves ahead like Kasparov. So she just casually takes off her sweat soaked purple leggings and black thong and spreads her legs and yells ‘EAT ME, SUGAR!’
I was so stunned I couldn’t decide whether to vomit or die laughing. But somehow, I obeyed and began lapping up her puddles of her Denny’s combo of fecal, sweat and vag juice. She came and immediately got up on all fours and shouted ‘NOW FUCK DAT PUSSY’. At this point I believe I was suffering from Stockholm Syndrome and just did what I was told. I’m in her sweaty smelly twat and thinking that since I didn’t serve in Vietnam like my dad, this will be the best war story I’ll ever be able to tell my nephews when they grow up.
I’m on autopilot at this point and I figure I may as well fuck her in the ass and cap off the night in heroic fashion so I look down and use every bit of my powerlifting lockout to spread her gigantic ass cheeks to find her asshole entrance. But to my shock and horror she didn’t have an anus...
...unless....
...I reach down below the hood with my fingers feeling around and using my Braille powers find a loose wet dripping pair of wizard sleeves. It hits me like a freight train...
I’M ALREADY IN HER ASS. IVE BEEN THERE THE WHOLE TIME.
I finish in her ass and collapse on top of her like a baby seal taking a nap on a Sperm whale. When I wake up the sun is up and I ready to make my getaway. But I still need proof for my friend so he doesn’t pull an Epic is Back and stiff me. So I get dressed, grab her thong and stuff it into my jeans and tiptoe towards the door hoping her snoring will cover up the sound of me opening all three locks on the door.
Again, I didn’t realize I had fucked Magnus Carlsen. I flip one dead bolt and the snoring immediately stops. I FREEZE.
“I know you ain’t stealing my damn thong!”
I tell her I was on my way to get coffee and forgot about them and pulled them out and tossed them to her.
“if you goin to Dunkin’ Donuts can you gemme three jelly donuts?”
Sure I say. I walk out of that dungeon up the stairs and I swear Andy DuFresne had absolutely nothing on me. I jumped for joy and then immediately tried to figure out where the nearest place to charge my flip phone could possibly be. New Orleans is a shithole and I had to be in the shittiest part of the dirtiest city.
I finally had to borrow someone’s phone on the street and call my friend to come get me. He picks me up and I tell him the flight home is on him. He of course asks for proof and I tell him to smell my fingers. Not good enough, he tells me.
So in the end I paid my own way home but a few months later he finally paid up.
AFTER I showed him my positive herpes test results.
Solid dude kept his word!
Thank you for sharing, this is great story telling.
There have been some legit lol accounts on here. This is the best thread in a long time
-
I’m visiting New Orleans for the first time and we find ourselves at some dive bar surrounded by black folks. We’re shooting billiards and some humongous black chick starts flirting with me. I mean HUGE. She’s at least 350lbs no joke. Now I’m no prize but I usually date 5s and 6s. This beast was a solid zero. So I’m drinking and flirting back just for fun and before you know it I’m sitting on her lap and she’s now buying the drinks. I jokingly tell my buddy I’m pretty sure this chick is gonna kill me if I don’t fuck her. He says if you do and bring me proof I’ll pay for the flight back to Cleveland.
That’s like $120. But aside from the money a part of me starts wondering ‘When was the last time this orca whale got laid?’ I mean she was absolutely horrendous monstrously obese and horribly sweaty and all. And she was being soooo nice to me that I started thinking about it in a charitable kind of way. So I when she asks me to come back to her place I accepted and immediately regretted my decision when we pulled up to what looked like an abandoned home and we had to go around the back and go into the basement where a filthy mattress sat on the floor next to a milk crate. I immediately panicked and thought I was about to be mugged. Then I realized she might be a prostitute and this was her flop house.
I tried to get out of it by telling her I didn’t have any condoms and I didn’t want to get her pregnant but this bitch was two steps ahead of me. ‘I’m already pregnant,’ she laughed as she led me by the hand down onto the filthy floor. Did I mention it smelled like raw sewage. I remember it smelled so bad that when I put my face close to her sweaty nasty armpits it was actually a relief.
I thought at least she might go down on me and I could bust one and make a run for it but again I was drunk and she was thinking nine moves ahead like Kasparov. So she just casually takes off her sweat soaked purple leggings and black thong and spreads her legs and yells ‘EAT ME, SUGAR!’
I was so stunned I couldn’t decide whether to vomit or die laughing. But somehow, I obeyed and began lapping up her puddles of her Denny’s combo of fecal, sweat and vag juice. She came and immediately got up on all fours and shouted ‘NOW FUCK DAT PUSSY’. At this point I believe I was suffering from Stockholm Syndrome and just did what I was told. I’m in her sweaty smelly twat and thinking that since I didn’t serve in Vietnam like my dad, this will be the best war story I’ll ever be able to tell my nephews when they grow up.
I’m on autopilot at this point and I figure I may as well fuck her in the ass and cap off the night in heroic fashion so I look down and use every bit of my powerlifting lockout to spread her gigantic ass cheeks to find her asshole entrance. But to my shock and horror she didn’t have an anus...
...unless....
...I reach down below the hood with my fingers feeling around and using my Braille powers find a loose wet dripping pair of wizard sleeves. It hits me like a freight train...
I’M ALREADY IN HER ASS. IVE BEEN THERE THE WHOLE TIME.
I finish in her ass and collapse on top of her like a baby seal taking a nap on a Sperm whale. When I wake up the sun is up and I ready to make my getaway. But I still need proof for my friend so he doesn’t pull an Epic is Back and stiff me. So I get dressed, grab her thong and stuff it into my jeans and tiptoe towards the door hoping her snoring will cover up the sound of me opening all three locks on the door.
Again, I didn’t realize I had fucked Magnus Carlsen. I flip one dead bolt and the snoring immediately stops. I FREEZE.
“I know you ain’t stealing my damn thong!”
I tell her I was on my way to get coffee and forgot about them and pulled them out and tossed them to her.
“if you goin to Dunkin’ Donuts can you gemme three jelly donuts?”
Sure I say. I walk out of that dungeon up the stairs and I swear Andy DuFresne had absolutely nothing on me. I jumped for joy and then immediately tried to figure out where the nearest place to charge my flip phone could possibly be. New Orleans is a shithole and I had to be in the shittiest part of the dirtiest city.
I finally had to borrow someone’s phone on the street and call my friend to come get me. He picks me up and I tell him the flight home is on him. He of course asks for proof and I tell him to smell my fingers. Not good enough, he tells me.
So in the end I paid my own way home but a few months later he finally paid up.
AFTER I showed him my positive herpes test results.
Solid dude kept his word!
I was laughing like a hyena reading this. Jesus Christ dude. Dave D is right. This is one of the good ones. Sorry about the herpes.
-
Moth, I gave some charity to a chick from the Yukon who had a little Herman Munster going on but Im not even going to try to compete with that. You're Mother Teresa and I gave a homless dude some spare change. Goddamn you ate it?! You poor self sacrificing bastard. It's a dead heat between you and Christ on the cross after that testicle shriveling tale.
-
A few moldovan women for reference:
(https://easterneuropeanwoman.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/moldova-women-859x447.jpg)
(http://dateeuropeangirls.com/wp-content/uploads/moldovan-woman-AnastasiaDate.jpg)
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I’m visiting New Orleans for the first time and we find ourselves at some dive bar surrounded by black folks. We’re shooting billiards and some humongous black chick starts flirting with me. I mean HUGE. She’s at least 350lbs no joke. Now I’m no prize but I usually date 5s and 6s. This beast was a solid zero. So I’m drinking and flirting back just for fun and before you know it I’m sitting on her lap and she’s now buying the drinks. I jokingly tell my buddy I’m pretty sure this chick is gonna kill me if I don’t fuck her. He says if you do and bring me proof I’ll pay for the flight back to Cleveland.
That’s like $120. But aside from the money a part of me starts wondering ‘When was the last time this orca whale got laid?’ I mean she was absolutely horrendous monstrously obese and horribly sweaty and all. And she was being soooo nice to me that I started thinking about it in a charitable kind of way. So I when she asks me to come back to her place I accepted and immediately regretted my decision when we pulled up to what looked like an abandoned home and we had to go around the back and go into the basement where a filthy mattress sat on the floor next to a milk crate. I immediately panicked and thought I was about to be mugged. Then I realized she might be a prostitute and this was her flop house.
I tried to get out of it by telling her I didn’t have any condoms and I didn’t want to get her pregnant but this bitch was two steps ahead of me. ‘I’m already pregnant,’ she laughed as she led me by the hand down onto the filthy floor. Did I mention it smelled like raw sewage. I remember it smelled so bad that when I put my face close to her sweaty nasty armpits it was actually a relief.
I thought at least she might go down on me and I could bust one and make a run for it but again I was drunk and she was thinking nine moves ahead like Kasparov. So she just casually takes off her sweat soaked purple leggings and black thong and spreads her legs and yells ‘EAT ME, SUGAR!’
I was so stunned I couldn’t decide whether to vomit or die laughing. But somehow, I obeyed and began lapping up her puddles of her Denny’s combo of fecal, sweat and vag juice. She came and immediately got up on all fours and shouted ‘NOW FUCK DAT PUSSY’. At this point I believe I was suffering from Stockholm Syndrome and just did what I was told. I’m in her sweaty smelly twat and thinking that since I didn’t serve in Vietnam like my dad, this will be the best war story I’ll ever be able to tell my nephews when they grow up.
I’m on autopilot at this point and I figure I may as well fuck her in the ass and cap off the night in heroic fashion so I look down and use every bit of my powerlifting lockout to spread her gigantic ass cheeks to find her asshole entrance. But to my shock and horror she didn’t have an anus...
...unless....
...I reach down below the hood with my fingers feeling around and using my Braille powers find a loose wet dripping pair of wizard sleeves. It hits me like a freight train...
I’M ALREADY IN HER ASS. IVE BEEN THERE THE WHOLE TIME.
I finish in her ass and collapse on top of her like a baby seal taking a nap on a Sperm whale. When I wake up the sun is up and I ready to make my getaway. But I still need proof for my friend so he doesn’t pull an Epic is Back and stiff me. So I get dressed, grab her thong and stuff it into my jeans and tiptoe towards the door hoping her snoring will cover up the sound of me opening all three locks on the door.
Again, I didn’t realize I had fucked Magnus Carlsen. I flip one dead bolt and the snoring immediately stops. I FREEZE.
“I know you ain’t stealing my damn thong!”
I tell her I was on my way to get coffee and forgot about them and pulled them out and tossed them to her.
“if you goin to Dunkin’ Donuts can you gemme three jelly donuts?”
Sure I say. I walk out of that dungeon up the stairs and I swear Andy DuFresne had absolutely nothing on me. I jumped for joy and then immediately tried to figure out where the nearest place to charge my flip phone could possibly be. New Orleans is a shithole and I had to be in the shittiest part of the dirtiest city.
I finally had to borrow someone’s phone on the street and call my friend to come get me. He picks me up and I tell him the flight home is on him. He of course asks for proof and I tell him to smell my fingers. Not good enough, he tells me.
So in the end I paid my own way home but a few months later he finally paid up.
AFTER I showed him my positive herpes test results.
Solid dude kept his word!
Getbig Gold right there! No way any guy, even drunk, can have sex with a "Zero". Not buying the part that you went down on her. Funny story nevertheless.
-
I’m visiting New Orleans for the first time and we find ourselves at some dive bar surrounded by black folks. We’re shooting billiards and some humongous black chick starts flirting with me. I mean HUGE. She’s at least 350lbs no joke. Now I’m no prize but I usually date 5s and 6s. This beast was a solid zero. So I’m drinking and flirting back just for fun and before you know it I’m sitting on her lap and she’s now buying the drinks. I jokingly tell my buddy I’m pretty sure this chick is gonna kill me if I don’t fuck her. He says if you do and bring me proof I’ll pay for the flight back to Cleveland.
That’s like $120. But aside from the money a part of me starts wondering ‘When was the last time this orca whale got laid?’ I mean she was absolutely horrendous monstrously obese and horribly sweaty and all. And she was being soooo nice to me that I started thinking about it in a charitable kind of way. So I when she asks me to come back to her place I accepted and immediately regretted my decision when we pulled up to what looked like an abandoned home and we had to go around the back and go into the basement where a filthy mattress sat on the floor next to a milk crate. I immediately panicked and thought I was about to be mugged. Then I realized she might be a prostitute and this was her flop house.
I tried to get out of it by telling her I didn’t have any condoms and I didn’t want to get her pregnant but this bitch was two steps ahead of me. ‘I’m already pregnant,’ she laughed as she led me by the hand down onto the filthy floor. Did I mention it smelled like raw sewage. I remember it smelled so bad that when I put my face close to her sweaty nasty armpits it was actually a relief.
I thought at least she might go down on me and I could bust one and make a run for it but again I was drunk and she was thinking nine moves ahead like Kasparov. So she just casually takes off her sweat soaked purple leggings and black thong and spreads her legs and yells ‘EAT ME, SUGAR!’
I was so stunned I couldn’t decide whether to vomit or die laughing. But somehow, I obeyed and began lapping up her puddles of her Denny’s combo of fecal, sweat and vag juice. She came and immediately got up on all fours and shouted ‘NOW FUCK DAT PUSSY’. At this point I believe I was suffering from Stockholm Syndrome and just did what I was told. I’m in her sweaty smelly twat and thinking that since I didn’t serve in Vietnam like my dad, this will be the best war story I’ll ever be able to tell my nephews when they grow up.
I’m on autopilot at this point and I figure I may as well fuck her in the ass and cap off the night in heroic fashion so I look down and use every bit of my powerlifting lockout to spread her gigantic ass cheeks to find her asshole entrance. But to my shock and horror she didn’t have an anus...
...unless....
...I reach down below the hood with my fingers feeling around and using my Braille powers find a loose wet dripping pair of wizard sleeves. It hits me like a freight train...
I’M ALREADY IN HER ASS. IVE BEEN THERE THE WHOLE TIME.
I finish in her ass and collapse on top of her like a baby seal taking a nap on a Sperm whale. When I wake up the sun is up and I ready to make my getaway. But I still need proof for my friend so he doesn’t pull an Epic is Back and stiff me. So I get dressed, grab her thong and stuff it into my jeans and tiptoe towards the door hoping her snoring will cover up the sound of me opening all three locks on the door.
Again, I didn’t realize I had fucked Magnus Carlsen. I flip one dead bolt and the snoring immediately stops. I FREEZE.
“I know you ain’t stealing my damn thong!”
I tell her I was on my way to get coffee and forgot about them and pulled them out and tossed them to her.
“if you goin to Dunkin’ Donuts can you gemme three jelly donuts?”
Sure I say. I walk out of that dungeon up the stairs and I swear Andy DuFresne had absolutely nothing on me. I jumped for joy and then immediately tried to figure out where the nearest place to charge my flip phone could possibly be. New Orleans is a shithole and I had to be in the shittiest part of the dirtiest city.
I finally had to borrow someone’s phone on the street and call my friend to come get me. He picks me up and I tell him the flight home is on him. He of course asks for proof and I tell him to smell my fingers. Not good enough, he tells me.
So in the end I paid my own way home but a few months later he finally paid up.
AFTER I showed him my positive herpes test results.
Solid dude kept his word!
My grandfather stormed the beaches of Normandy and lived to tell but he never had any war stories like that.Fist time I ever stood to salute and barf at the same time.Heroic deed young man.
-
Does Mr. Brosnan make an appearance?
LOL no - OK then... *sigh* It's very lame compared to Mothballs effort :-\, but here you go...
Way back when I was young and single in the '90s, there was an annual doorman's holiday up north, where we all decamped to the seaside for a few days. There's an unwritten rule that other doormen let groups in for free, as they know we'll behave and never get into trouble (and if you believe that then I am a ripped 280 with a 14" penis) So we roamed this place full of testosterone and various other chemicals on the prowl for ladies with low standards...
Anyway, we'd get half way through the night when people started disappearing to take care of business and on this particular occasion I'd managed to pull twins - they were clearly a bit mental, but apparently went to aerobics classes so were pretty fit - ugly as f**k, looked a bit like prison guards maybe, but hard bodies...
So we exit the place with my arms around one either side, and I'm feeling pretty cool even though they are rough and I actually look like a double idiot, and we go for an inebriated stroll stagger on the beach. At this point it becomes clear that a 3-some is not on, and one of them fades away into the night. Suddenly, without a word of explanation, the remaining one drops to a squat position directly in front of me. I realise what I think is going on, and pop the old fella straight into her mouth. She's trying to say something as I do so but is blocked by the mouthful, and besides, what the fvck do I care about conversation at that point... Anyway a few seconds later I hear a hissing noise and smell something, and suddenly realised she's actually squatted to take a p1ss/break wind, and I've basically shoved myself into her face without so much as a by your leave
She didn't mind - which was a plus - and her ability to multi-task was impressive - and I didn't even really mind the the p1ssing if I'm honest, but somehow the farting took the edge off our romantic encounter and we parted company at that point...
Never thought I'd recount that again... :-[
-
I was going to night school to take extra credit in high school in my senior year. Always found it easier to take tough classes like calculus and physics in night school than during the day. I was about 18. There was this older sexy lady, about 40 in the class. She was working on getting her degree after being divorced. I would always flirt with her and then eventually started fucking. She was super sexy and fucked like a machine. She would always say she wants to date me but I was just too young and she told me she wanted to introduce me to her niece but I always told her I don't want her niece and I wanted her.
So during this time I was always going to the clubs and met this smoking chick named Ashley. Just a rocket of a body. Started fucking her on the side. She went to a different high school than me. So one day the older chick I was fucking started telling me how much her feelings have grown for me and she really thinks we should stop fucking because of the age difference and that she really wants me to meet her niece. So I give in and ask her to tell me about her. She tells me her name is Ashley and she goes to so and so high school and I was like WTF!! I interrupt her and describe the Ashley I was fucking and she said, yeah that's her. How do I know her. I was just grinning like a fat boy that had a whole cake. What are the odds that I was fucking both at the same time and neither knew about it. I never told the older lady about it but I did bring it up to Ashley. She got a great laugh about it because she then told me her Aunt was always badgering her about meeting this guy in her class and never realized it was me. I didn't tell her I was fucking her Aunt but that I just knew her from school. I really wonder to this day if they ever spoke about it and realized I was banging both of them at the same time.
-
impressive piss and blowjob combo :D
-
Getbig Gold right there! No way any guy, even drunk, can have sex with a "Zero". Not buying the part that you went down on her. Funny story nevertheless.
I know how you feel about blue stars, but have you ever power poked a brown star?
-
I know how you feel about blue stars, but have you ever power poked a brown star?
Posting in this thread requires anonymity. People I know read this forum. Pity I can't post some stories from the archives! :D
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Posting in this thread requires anonymity. People I know read this forum. Pity I can't post some stories from the archives! :D
Send a PM to evacnam. He can provide you with a few gimmick accounts for all the dirty stories etc... ;)
-
the last woman I fucked in the ass was a bit wild (she was). It was after a party and she actually asked me to do it. The memories of that moment are kind of lost in a heavily drunken haze :-\
-
I recall blowing my load in that broad's mouth and falling asleep instantly, my sweet sleep interrupted with her drama, she was weeping, saying "she felt so cheap, that I didn't show courtesy to hug and kiss her"
Like a perfect beta, I hugged her and apoligized, licked her wet pussy like a dog, and fucked her raw for the rest of the week, that German dame had the wettest pussy I had privilige to bang, her juices were flowing down her inner thighs before I touch her.
-
Penthouse Forum has nothing on Getbig.
-
I’m visiting New Orleans for the first time and we find ourselves at some dive bar surrounded by black folks. We’re shooting billiards and some humongous black chick starts flirting with me. I mean HUGE. She’s at least 350lbs no joke. Now I’m no prize but I usually date 5s and 6s. This beast was a solid zero. So I’m drinking and flirting back just for fun and before you know it I’m sitting on her lap and she’s now buying the drinks. I jokingly tell my buddy I’m pretty sure this chick is gonna kill me if I don’t fuck her. He says if you do and bring me proof I’ll pay for the flight back to Cleveland.
That’s like $120. But aside from the money a part of me starts wondering ‘When was the last time this orca whale got laid?’ I mean she was absolutely horrendous monstrously obese and horribly sweaty and all. And she was being soooo nice to me that I started thinking about it in a charitable kind of way. So I when she asks me to come back to her place I accepted and immediately regretted my decision when we pulled up to what looked like an abandoned home and we had to go around the back and go into the basement where a filthy mattress sat on the floor next to a milk crate. I immediately panicked and thought I was about to be mugged. Then I realized she might be a prostitute and this was her flop house.
I tried to get out of it by telling her I didn’t have any condoms and I didn’t want to get her pregnant but this bitch was two steps ahead of me. ‘I’m already pregnant,’ she laughed as she led me by the hand down onto the filthy floor. Did I mention it smelled like raw sewage. I remember it smelled so bad that when I put my face close to her sweaty nasty armpits it was actually a relief.
I thought at least she might go down on me and I could bust one and make a run for it but again I was drunk and she was thinking nine moves ahead like Kasparov. So she just casually takes off her sweat soaked purple leggings and black thong and spreads her legs and yells ‘EAT ME, SUGAR!’
I was so stunned I couldn’t decide whether to vomit or die laughing. But somehow, I obeyed and began lapping up her puddles of her Denny’s combo of fecal, sweat and vag juice. She came and immediately got up on all fours and shouted ‘NOW FUCK DAT PUSSY’. At this point I believe I was suffering from Stockholm Syndrome and just did what I was told. I’m in her sweaty smelly twat and thinking that since I didn’t serve in Vietnam like my dad, this will be the best war story I’ll ever be able to tell my nephews when they grow up.
I’m on autopilot at this point and I figure I may as well fuck her in the ass and cap off the night in heroic fashion so I look down and use every bit of my powerlifting lockout to spread her gigantic ass cheeks to find her asshole entrance. But to my shock and horror she didn’t have an anus...
...unless....
...I reach down below the hood with my fingers feeling around and using my Braille powers find a loose wet dripping pair of wizard sleeves. It hits me like a freight train...
I’M ALREADY IN HER ASS. IVE BEEN THERE THE WHOLE TIME.
I finish in her ass and collapse on top of her like a baby seal taking a nap on a Sperm whale. When I wake up the sun is up and I ready to make my getaway. But I still need proof for my friend so he doesn’t pull an Epic is Back and stiff me. So I get dressed, grab her thong and stuff it into my jeans and tiptoe towards the door hoping her snoring will cover up the sound of me opening all three locks on the door.
Again, I didn’t realize I had fucked Magnus Carlsen. I flip one dead bolt and the snoring immediately stops. I FREEZE.
“I know you ain’t stealing my damn thong!”
I tell her I was on my way to get coffee and forgot about them and pulled them out and tossed them to her.
“if you goin to Dunkin’ Donuts can you gemme three jelly donuts?”
Sure I say. I walk out of that dungeon up the stairs and I swear Andy DuFresne had absolutely nothing on me. I jumped for joy and then immediately tried to figure out where the nearest place to charge my flip phone could possibly be. New Orleans is a shithole and I had to be in the shittiest part of the dirtiest city.
I finally had to borrow someone’s phone on the street and call my friend to come get me. He picks me up and I tell him the flight home is on him. He of course asks for proof and I tell him to smell my fingers. Not good enough, he tells me.
So in the end I paid my own way home but a few months later he finally paid up.
AFTER I showed him my positive herpes test results.
Solid dude kept his word!
Yea but u did take a bullet for someone
-
I finish in her ass and collapse on top of her like a baby seal taking a nap on a Sperm whale. When I wake up the sun is up and I ready to make my getaway. But I still need proof for my friend so he doesn’t pull an Epic is Back and stiff me. So I get dressed, grab her thong and stuff it into my jeans and tiptoe towards the door hoping her snoring will cover up the sound of me opening all three locks on the door.
Solid dude kept his word!
Just skim-reading this masterpiece again and noticed this gem this time round ;D ;D
-
LOL no - OK then... *sigh* It's very lame compared to Mothballs effort :-\, but here you go...
Way back when I was young and single in the '90s, there was an annual doorman's holiday up north, where we all decamped to the seaside for a few days. There's an unwritten rule that other doormen let groups in for free, as they know we'll behave and never get into trouble (and if you believe that then I am a ripped 280 with a 14" penis) So we roamed this place full of testosterone and various other chemicals on the prowl for ladies with low standards...
Anyway, we'd get half way through the night when people started disappearing to take care of business and on this particular occasion I'd managed to pull twins - they were clearly a bit mental, but apparently went to aerobics classes so were pretty fit - ugly as f**k, looked a bit like prison guards maybe, but hard bodies...
So we exit the place with my arms around one either side, and I'm feeling pretty cool even though they are rough and I actually look like a double idiot, and we go for an inebriated stroll stagger on the beach. At this point it becomes clear that a 3-some is not on, and one of them fades away into the night. Suddenly, without a word of explanation, the remaining one drops to a squat position directly in front of me. I realise what I think is going on, and pop the old fella straight into her mouth. She's trying to say something as I do so but is blocked by the mouthful, and besides, what the fvck do I care about conversation at that point... Anyway a few seconds later I hear a hissing noise and smell something, and suddenly realised she's actually squatted to take a p1ss/break wind, and I've basically shoved myself into her face without so much as a by your leave
She didn't mind - which was a plus - and her ability to multi-task was impressive - and I didn't even really mind the the p1ssing if I'm honest, but somehow the farting took the edge off our romantic encounter and we parted company at that point...
Never thought I'd recount that again... :-[
Haha that would have done it for me also mate, wasn’t Whitley bay by any chance? Absolutely Amazing place in its time stag and hen dues would come from miles away
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this one time, prime was enjoying the bbc at the glory hole (oh you said with women, sorry).
-
this one time, prime was enjoying the bbc at the glory hole (oh you said with women, sorry).
If he said with men, this thread would be 15 pages long by npw. Trannies? Shit, Ron would have to buy a new server.
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If he said with men, this thread would be 15 pages long by npw. Trannies? Shit, Ron would have to buy a new server.
:D :D :D
-
GetBig legendary post for the ages. :D ;D :)
I’m visiting New Orleans for the first time and we find ourselves at some dive bar surrounded by black folks. We’re shooting billiards and some humongous black chick starts flirting with me. I mean HUGE. She’s at least 350lbs no joke. Now I’m no prize but I usually date 5s and 6s. This beast was a solid zero. So I’m drinking and flirting back just for fun and before you know it I’m sitting on her lap and she’s now buying the drinks. I jokingly tell my buddy I’m pretty sure this chick is gonna kill me if I don’t fuck her. He says if you do and bring me proof I’ll pay for the flight back to Cleveland.
That’s like $120. But aside from the money a part of me starts wondering ‘When was the last time this orca whale got laid?’ I mean she was absolutely horrendous monstrously obese and horribly sweaty and all. And she was being soooo nice to me that I started thinking about it in a charitable kind of way. So I when she asks me to come back to her place I accepted and immediately regretted my decision when we pulled up to what looked like an abandoned home and we had to go around the back and go into the basement where a filthy mattress sat on the floor next to a milk crate. I immediately panicked and thought I was about to be mugged. Then I realized she might be a prostitute and this was her flop house.
I tried to get out of it by telling her I didn’t have any condoms and I didn’t want to get her pregnant but this bitch was two steps ahead of me. ‘I’m already pregnant,’ she laughed as she led me by the hand down onto the filthy floor. Did I mention it smelled like raw sewage. I remember it smelled so bad that when I put my face close to her sweaty nasty armpits it was actually a relief.
I thought at least she might go down on me and I could bust one and make a run for it but again I was drunk and she was thinking nine moves ahead like Kasparov. So she just casually takes off her sweat soaked purple leggings and black thong and spreads her legs and yells ‘EAT ME, SUGAR!’
I was so stunned I couldn’t decide whether to vomit or die laughing. But somehow, I obeyed and began lapping up her puddles of her Denny’s combo of fecal, sweat and vag juice. She came and immediately got up on all fours and shouted ‘NOW FUCK DAT PUSSY’. At this point I believe I was suffering from Stockholm Syndrome and just did what I was told. I’m in her sweaty smelly twat and thinking that since I didn’t serve in Vietnam like my dad, this will be the best war story I’ll ever be able to tell my nephews when they grow up.
I’m on autopilot at this point and I figure I may as well fuck her in the ass and cap off the night in heroic fashion so I look down and use every bit of my powerlifting lockout to spread her gigantic ass cheeks to find her asshole entrance. But to my shock and horror she didn’t have an anus...
...unless....
...I reach down below the hood with my fingers feeling around and using my Braille powers find a loose wet dripping pair of wizard sleeves. It hits me like a freight train...
I’M ALREADY IN HER ASS. IVE BEEN THERE THE WHOLE TIME.
I finish in her ass and collapse on top of her like a baby seal taking a nap on a Sperm whale. When I wake up the sun is up and I ready to make my getaway. But I still need proof for my friend so he doesn’t pull an Epic is Back and stiff me. So I get dressed, grab her thong and stuff it into my jeans and tiptoe towards the door hoping her snoring will cover up the sound of me opening all three locks on the door.
Again, I didn’t realize I had fucked Magnus Carlsen. I flip one dead bolt and the snoring immediately stops. I FREEZE.
“I know you ain’t stealing my damn thong!”
I tell her I was on my way to get coffee and forgot about them and pulled them out and tossed them to her.
“if you goin to Dunkin’ Donuts can you gemme three jelly donuts?”
Sure I say. I walk out of that dungeon up the stairs and I swear Andy DuFresne had absolutely nothing on me. I jumped for joy and then immediately tried to figure out where the nearest place to charge my flip phone could possibly be. New Orleans is a shithole and I had to be in the shittiest part of the dirtiest city.
I finally had to borrow someone’s phone on the street and call my friend to come get me. He picks me up and I tell him the flight home is on him. He of course asks for proof and I tell him to smell my fingers. Not good enough, he tells me.
So in the end I paid my own way home but a few months later he finally paid up.
AFTER I showed him my positive herpes test results.
Solid dude kept his word!
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If he said with men, this thread would be 15 pages long by npw. Trannies? Shit, Ron would have to buy a new server.
Someone mention trannies..?
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These are some wonderful stories. ;D
Since we are talking about some bad experiences, i'll add mine.
I was in my early 20's and my aunt/uncle owned a bar in North Padre, Texas. South Padre is know as a huge party spot for younger people and gets insane during spring break. I used to go down there all the time with my cousin and a few mutual friends. There was a two bedroom apartment behind the bar that we stayed in. This bar wasn't a party spot, it was more of a locals place with an older crowd, but it was about 15-20 minutes away from the party.
We go down there and do lots of drugs, drink a lot and get wreckless. Had some crazy experiences out there, my friend stole some dudes truck that was being an asshole and trenched through about a dozen yards at 2am. Cops ended up arresting the guy because when they found him the next morning he had a bunch of coke on him and didn't believe someone stole his truck. ;D
So one weekend i'm down there with my cousin, his wife and some of her friends from college. There are like 20+ people at the place so i was not remembering names, but i ended up chilling with this hot young broad for a while, she was super cool. Nothing exciting this trip, i just remember her name started with a V and she was there with her sister.
Fast forward a month or so, my cousin calls me and tells me about one of his wife's friends that likes me. She's basically down to just bang because she doesn't want a boyfriend while in college. He tells me i met her sister at the last party and her name is Vanessa (i should have caught this by now, but i was too busy thinking about her sweet ass). So we setup to go down there just 4-5 of us and take some X just to party for the weekend. I'm super pumped.
We get there and i don't see my sexy little lolita, but as we walk upstairs into the apartment this "thing" is sitting there drinking a Zima. Oh man, she was hideous, looked like a 21 year old version of Anne Ramsey. I was terrified and confused.
Apparently i did talk to this troll's sister the last trip out and the troll found me attractive. Somehow i got confused by which group of sister's i was hitting on. My sexy latina bombshell was nowhere to be found.
So the first night we are there, the drinks start flowing and we all take a tab. Shit gets pretty wild and i'm starting to see things. I start feeling all really spaced out and at that point knew i was on more than just X. My asshole cousin had placed a drop of liquid LSD on each of the tabs before we took them. So we were "candy flipping", which i had done before, but in a way different environment.
After about 6 hours of seeing wild shit and tripping my balls off, the troll starts cuddling up with me on the porch. We head down to the beach and lay on a blanket to watch the sunrise. I start playing with her boobs and she tries to give me head but mr happy is off the reservation, he's not having any of it. So we smoke a joint and go back to the apartment. I spend the next hour trying to get hard, she's dripping wet and fingering herself like crazy. She was ugly but had nice tits. The drugs had left mr happy dead as a doornail.
I manage to get it up about halfway and slide it in her for about 2 minutes; it just dies. My happy just wants to sleep. She thought i came and starts to cuddle with me, she's all sweaty and smells like salty BO.
The next two days were terrifying, she was treating me like her boyfriend. Trying to hold my hand and kiss me all the time. It was gross. My cousin's wife got mad at me for it, but i told her i'm not dating her. Even the next two nights we slept together, i clapped her cheeks anyway because why not? She was repulsive, but it's all pink on the inside. :D
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I’m visiting New Orleans for the first time and we find ourselves at some dive bar surrounded by black folks. We’re shooting billiards and some humongous black chick starts flirting with me. I mean HUGE. She’s at least 350lbs no joke. Now I’m no prize but I usually date 5s and 6s. This beast was a solid zero. So I’m drinking and flirting back just for fun and before you know it I’m sitting on her lap and she’s now buying the drinks. I jokingly tell my buddy I’m pretty sure this chick is gonna kill me if I don’t fuck her. He says if you do and bring me proof I’ll pay for the flight back to Cleveland.
That’s like $120. But aside from the money a part of me starts wondering ‘When was the last time this orca whale got laid?’ I mean she was absolutely horrendous monstrously obese and horribly sweaty and all. And she was being soooo nice to me that I started thinking about it in a charitable kind of way. So I when she asks me to come back to her place I accepted and immediately regretted my decision when we pulled up to what looked like an abandoned home and we had to go around the back and go into the basement where a filthy mattress sat on the floor next to a milk crate. I immediately panicked and thought I was about to be mugged. Then I realized she might be a prostitute and this was her flop house.
I tried to get out of it by telling her I didn’t have any condoms and I didn’t want to get her pregnant but this bitch was two steps ahead of me. ‘I’m already pregnant,’ she laughed as she led me by the hand down onto the filthy floor. Did I mention it smelled like raw sewage. I remember it smelled so bad that when I put my face close to her sweaty nasty armpits it was actually a relief.
I thought at least she might go down on me and I could bust one and make a run for it but again I was drunk and she was thinking nine moves ahead like Kasparov. So she just casually takes off her sweat soaked purple leggings and black thong and spreads her legs and yells ‘EAT ME, SUGAR!’
I was so stunned I couldn’t decide whether to vomit or die laughing. But somehow, I obeyed and began lapping up her puddles of her Denny’s combo of fecal, sweat and vag juice. She came and immediately got up on all fours and shouted ‘NOW FUCK DAT PUSSY’. At this point I believe I was suffering from Stockholm Syndrome and just did what I was told. I’m in her sweaty smelly twat and thinking that since I didn’t serve in Vietnam like my dad, this will be the best war story I’ll ever be able to tell my nephews when they grow up.
I’m on autopilot at this point and I figure I may as well fuck her in the ass and cap off the night in heroic fashion so I look down and use every bit of my powerlifting lockout to spread her gigantic ass cheeks to find her asshole entrance. But to my shock and horror she didn’t have an anus...
...unless....
...I reach down below the hood with my fingers feeling around and using my Braille powers find a loose wet dripping pair of wizard sleeves. It hits me like a freight train...
I’M ALREADY IN HER ASS. IVE BEEN THERE THE WHOLE TIME.
I finish in her ass and collapse on top of her like a baby seal taking a nap on a Sperm whale. When I wake up the sun is up and I ready to make my getaway. But I still need proof for my friend so he doesn’t pull an Epic is Back and stiff me. So I get dressed, grab her thong and stuff it into my jeans and tiptoe towards the door hoping her snoring will cover up the sound of me opening all three locks on the door.
Again, I didn’t realize I had fucked Magnus Carlsen. I flip one dead bolt and the snoring immediately stops. I FREEZE.
“I know you ain’t stealing my damn thong!”
I tell her I was on my way to get coffee and forgot about them and pulled them out and tossed them to her.
“if you goin to Dunkin’ Donuts can you gemme three jelly donuts?”
Sure I say. I walk out of that dungeon up the stairs and I swear Andy DuFresne had absolutely nothing on me. I jumped for joy and then immediately tried to figure out where the nearest place to charge my flip phone could possibly be. New Orleans is a shithole and I had to be in the shittiest part of the dirtiest city.
I finally had to borrow someone’s phone on the street and call my friend to come get me. He picks me up and I tell him the flight home is on him. He of course asks for proof and I tell him to smell my fingers. Not good enough, he tells me.
So in the end I paid my own way home but a few months later he finally paid up.
AFTER I showed him my positive herpes test results.
Solid dude kept his word!
She sounds like about half the black women in New Orleans.
They all a little "big" and ratchet as all hell.
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I’m married
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If he said with men, this thread would be 15 pages long by npw. Trannies? Shit, Ron would have to buy a new server.
Yeah, thread title unclear. He wants our sex stories or hear experiences with women?
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Epic thread!...Love them stories! ;D
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lol @ MothBalls story
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Yeah, thread title unclear. He wants our sex stories or hear experiences with women?
"sex and women" those two in combination.
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This should be stickied.
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I had great sex with an ex who I saw for 3 months or so. I guess you cannot really call that a relationship. However, the best part was almost rubbing her fat ass in massage oil. And she was quite lusty, and could fuck on the couch and use sex toys etc. I found later she had some mental issues, so it was not really sustainable to keep seeing her. That was in my late twenties. The best women are really taken at that point. I can understand how Matt feels.
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I had great sex with an ex who I saw for 3 months or so. I guess you cannot really call that a relationship. However, the best part was almost rubbing her fat ass in massage oil. And she was quite lusty, and could fuck on the couch and use sex toys etc. I found later she had some mental issues, so it was not really sustainable to keep seeing her. That was in my late twenties. The best women are really taken at that point. I can understand how Matt feels.
That's true.
Once you hit late 30's early 40's it is hard to find normal women. You either have to put up with multiple kids, mental problems or women with serious trust issues.
Just have to hope you get lucky with a good girl when she gets a divorce, and hope she's not too salty about men at that point.
It is a struggle, but i don't ever want to get married, so just dating random women to have fun and get laid a few times a month is fine by me. When they get all crazy i just back away slowly as to not create too much drama.
It's either that or hookers; i'll probably go the hooker route once i hit my 50's. ;)
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Having been married and/or co-habitating with my wife since 1998, I can say with certainty that I'll never, ever, ever be in a committed relationship again. That is if we were to ever divorce or god forbid she goes before me. It's not all it's cracked up to be and the thought of ever being responsible for someone else's happiness and entertainment again? No fucking thanks. I'd try my hand at tinder for a bit and eventually probably just go the hooker route.
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Having been married and/or co-habitating with my wife since 1998, I can say with certainty that I'll never, ever, ever be in a committed relationship again. That is if we were to ever divorce or god forbid she goes before me. It's not all it's cracked up to be and the thought of ever being responsible for someone else's happiness and entertainment again? No fucking thanks. I'd try my hand at tinder for a bit and eventually probably just go the hooker route.
I always wondered what a jerk's personal life was like. Now I know. No wonder you are so aggressive on Getbig. Any guy who even thinks about going to hookers is a loser. Hope this helps.
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That's true.
Once you hit late 30's early 40's it is hard to find normal women. You either have to put up with multiple kids, mental problems or women with serious trust issues.
Just have to hope you get lucky with a good girl when she gets a divorce, and hope she's not too salty about men at that point.
It is a struggle, but i don't ever want to get married, so just dating random women to have fun and get laid a few times a month is fine by me. When they get all crazy i just back away slowly as to not create too much drama.
It's either that or hookers; i'll probably go the hooker route once i hit my 50's. ;)
Read this thread and then imagine what many women have to put up with. No wonder so many end up the way they are. Look at how guys objectify them. Yes, they are emotional but a lot of it is justified.
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I always wondered what a jerk's personal life was like. Now I know. No wonder you are so aggressive on Getbig. Any guy who even thinks about going to hookers is a loser. Hope this helps.
have you absolutely lost your mind?
I used to run an escort agency with my ex wife. We would see guys from 18-81 come through the door. Guys who couldnt get laid elsewhere, guys who dont want a relationship but want sex, guys with fetishes. Escorts provide an outlet that probably keeps tons of rapes from happening. People like you who say you wont pay for it or escorts/hookers are for losers are absolute retards who think they are so much better than everyone else. Complete narcissists. You and prime should share a banana
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This should be stickied.
It's sticky enough. :-X
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Read this thread and then imagine what many women have to put up with. No wonder so many end up the way they are. Look at how guys objectify them. Yes, they are emotional but a lot of it is justified.
so men dont have to put up with shit from women and end up with mental health issues? Holy christ you are a wanna be white knight. It must destroy your inflated sense of self worth when you try to play all gentleman to women where you live and all you get as a result is a restraining order and the gal running off with a guy 1/3 your age.
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I always wondered what a jerk's personal life was like. Now I know. No wonder you are so aggressive on Getbig. Any guy who even thinks about going to hookers is a loser. Hope this helps.
LOL. Whatever you say Mr. Safety Fat.
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Read this thread and then imagine what many women have to put up with. No wonder so many end up the way they are. Look at how guys objectify them. Yes, they are emotional but a lot of it is justified.
I'm not saying it's not justified.
It's very common for women to be jaded by men like me.
I have no issues with any of that.
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have you absolutely lost your mind?
I used to run an escort agency with my ex wife. We would see guys from 18-81 come through the door. Guys who couldnt get laid elsewhere, guys who dont want a relationship but want sex, guys with fetishes. Escorts provide an outlet that probably keeps tons of rapes from happening. People like you who say you wont pay for it or escorts/hookers are for losers are absolute retards who think they are so much better than everyone else. Complete narcissists. You and prime should share a banana
I am not against prostitution and allow that many men use their services. Might be a good business as well. My point is there are so many available women out there. For every single dateless guy there is a lonely women out there.
Sure, the pool of available dates might be limited or flawed but it goes both ways. My comments obviously don't apply to special cases such as yourself.
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I am not against prostitution and allow that many men use their services. Might be a good business as well. My point is there are so many available women out there. For every single dateless guy there is a lonely women out there.
Sure, the pool of available dates might be limited or flawed but it goes both ways. My comments obviously don't apply to special cases such as yourself.
based on your physical appearance and ineptness with not only women, but all people, somehow this comment just doesnt phase me one bit. Im not out on cliffs taking pics of teenagers
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based on your physical appearance and ineptness with not only women, but all people, somehow this comment just doesnt phase me one bit. Im not out on cliffs taking pics of teenagers
Or trying to catch a shower with Arnold back in the 70's.
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My point is there are so many available women out there. For every single dateless guy there is a lonely women out there.
You have obviously never tried online dating. ;D
If you like Two Ton Tina and her 5 kids, that's all you bro.
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You have obviously never tried online dating. ;D
If you like Two Ton Tina and her 5 kids, that's all you bro.
hes 106 years old, he has no clue
Or trying to catch a shower with Arnold back in the 70's.
its cute how he tries to imply hes straight
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You have obviously never tried online dating. ;D
If you like Two Ton Tina and her 5 kids, that's all you bro.
Can you imagine the reaction of most women who might read this thread? Some might be amused but most would be disgusted.
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You have obviously never tried online dating. ;D
If you like Two Ton Tina and her 5 kids, that's all you bro.
I am quite familiar with online dating. I always ask two questions. Why are they single and why are they still available.
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Can you imagine the reaction of most women who might read this thread? Some might be amused but most would be disgusted.
you and the term lockerroom chat have never met. Im gonna lay it out like a paint by numbers painting. Vince, you are old and as the world has evolved your thought process hasnt. You are stuck in the 70s thinking your methods with women will "woo" them. The only thing it does is creep them out. You genuinely are a creepy man with your posts and weak attempt at chivalry. As an older man, 55, I like to think i have somehow kept up with how not to be a creepy dickwad to women. For me I just keep my yap shut and listen and offer my 2 cents. I dont kid any woman thinking Im a catch, Im 55 on welfare, dont own much and have a unstable life. You on the other hand like to think you are some Romeo on a white horse saving women from the dregs of getbig type men. Get a grip man, its over for you, and probably over for me too. Im fine with it and accept it, you just live in a very strange delusional world
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Can you imagine the reaction of most women who might read this thread? Some might be amused but most would be disgusted.
(https://media4.giphy.com/media/l46CgcFkYZ5bac89i/200.gif)
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you and the term lockerroom chat have never met. Im gonna lay it out like a paint by numbers painting. Vince, you are old and as the world has evolved your thought process hasnt. You are stuck in the 70s thinking your methods with women will "woo" them. The only thing it does is creep them out. You genuinely are a creepy man with your posts and weak attempt at chivalry. As an older man, 55, I like to think i have somehow kept up with how not to be a creepy dickwad to women. For me I just keep my yap shut and listen and offer my 2 cents. I dont kid any woman thinking Im a catch, Im 55 on welfare, dont own much and have a unstable life. You on the other hand like to think you are some Romeo on a white horse saving women from the dregs of getbig type men. Get a grip man, its over for you, and probably over for me too. Im fine with it and accept it, you just live in a very strange delusional world
Unbelievable that a guy with your history can post here as some sort of character judge and moral authority!
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Unbelievable that a guy with your history can post here as some sort of character judge and moral authority!
so essentially you are saying people cant change? Lol if you think I havent changed
I laugh at you Vince, you are truly a sad pathetic man caught in the past, unable to live in the now
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I’ve been married four times....you’re all rookies
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I’ve been married four times....you’re all rookies
Are you nuckin futz?
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so essentially you are saying people cant change? Lol if you think I havent changed
I laugh at you Vince, you are truly a sad pathetic man caught in the past, unable to live in the now
Why knock other people like you and so many others here do? You haven't changed a bit in that regard.
Some people still piss you off and you deal with them way out of proportion to what is appropriate.
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Why knock other people like you and so many others here do? You haven't changed a bit in that regard.
Some people still piss you off and you deal with them way out of proportion to what is appropriate.
ok Vince, youve got me all figured out,....good for you
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you and the term lockerroom chat have never met. Im gonna lay it out like a paint by numbers painting. Vince, you are old and as the world has evolved your thought process hasnt. You are stuck in the 70s thinking your methods with women will "woo" them. The only thing it does is creep them out. You genuinely are a creepy man with your posts and weak attempt at chivalry. As an older man, 55, I like to think i have somehow kept up with how not to be a creepy dickwad to women. For me I just keep my yap shut and listen and offer my 2 cents. I dont kid any woman thinking Im a catch, Im 55 on welfare, dont own much and have a unstable life. You on the other hand like to think you are some Romeo on a white horse saving women from the dregs of getbig type men. Get a grip man, its over for you, and probably over for me too. Im fine with it and accept it, you just live in a very strange delusional world
Most older guys are not red pilled. There are millions who are still hunting for a Unicorn.
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(https://i.pinimg.com/originals/9b/a6/0e/9ba60eeeae73917625e446c0d0b9ff61.gif)
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A hottie to look at while we wait for the next story
(https://c8.alamy.com/comp/E2N73H/vida-guerra-arrives-at-the-blow-me-away-hair-salon-featuring-vida-E2N73H.jpg)
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Fuckin’ amateurs I tell ya......🤣
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Can you imagine the reaction of most women who might read this thread? Some might be amused but most would be disgusted.
I think women reading this thread would say you are a soft cuck.
Some women can be sexual and perverted, which is apparently something you cannot comprehend. That stripper licked Josh's asshole out of her own desire, and she probably enjoyed every second of it.
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I’d rather get shot than live out Mothballs story. Dear god some of you guys will fuck anything! :D
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I’d rather get shot than live out Mothballs story. Dear god some of you guys will fuck anything! :D
It was a life or death situation you pompous jerk.
He said the only enjoyable experience was sticking his face in her smelly armpits because the stench was so bad. After reading the story again, if roles were reversed and Mothballs was a woman we could be looking at a potential rape case.
Have some decency.
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Had one of my exs stalk me all the way onto this board. I was 18 she was 37. Still have the pms in my inbox. Also registered on here.
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Had one of my exs stalk me all the way onto this board. I was 18 she was 37. Still have the pms in my inbox. Also registered on here.
Leave Booty out of this.
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It was a life or death situation you pompous jerk.
He said the only enjoyable experience was sticking his face in her smelly armpits because the stench was so bad. After reading the story again, if roles were reversed and Mothballs was a woman we could be looking at a potential rape case.
Have some decency.
Thank you for your support. #MeToo
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It was a life or death situation you pompous jerk.
He said the only enjoyable experience was sticking his face in her smelly armpits because the stench was so bad. After reading the story again, if roles were reversed and Mothballs was a woman we could be looking at a potential rape case.
Have some decency.
In one of Rocco's Siffredi's videos, he is licking a chick's armpits. I can't see why that would be a turn on.
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I'm not sure I can tell my dirty dick stories because people I know read this forum and I'm not exactly a "bros before hoes" kinda guy. I'm more of a "knows his bro's hoes" kinda guy.
One tame one........So one night my friend and his girlfriend are over at my place. It's late, we were bullshitting and watching TV. Homie falls asleep. Mistake. One thing leads to another and my dick ends up in the girlfriend's mouth. She's blowing me with some serious determination just a few feet away from her sleeping boyfriend. Even though I'm a cold-blooded, black-hearted m0therfucker it was almost exciting wondering if he was going to wake up and catch us. Trying to be quiet and shit. She was young and cute. Brown hair, greenish eyes. I came in her mouth and a little on her face. I think she eventually feel asleep and they ended up staying the night on my couch. I stopped being friends with the dude not too long after that for various reasons. He was a close friend for a few years but the fact is that I didn't really like him that much. No idea if he ever found out. I know that probably wasn't a cool thing to do but my thinking at the time was "hey, I could have fucked her too. Getting blown isn't a big deal." In retrospect I was just rationalizing.
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Well here’s a fresh story from last night. I flew from Atlanta to LA for the long weekend. There was this tight older flight attendant with big ass fake tits. I was upgraded to first since the plane was half empty. She was all flirty with me. So I flirted back. Was super aggressive in telling her how hot she was. Part way through the flight they bring some stupid snack tray since they aren’t feeding us real food and passes me napkin and the tray. I miss the napkin from her hand and it falls onto the floor. She tells me she’ll get it. Picks it up. Opens it up and places it on my lap and does a hard press onto my cock as she puts it on me. She’s staring in my eyes smiling while she did it. She walks away and sits down. I get up in a bit and chat with her at the front of the plane. Ask her if she wants to meet for drinks or whatever and exchange numbers.
So yesterday I test her and ask her if she wants to have drinks. She invited me over to her place and asks if it’s okay if her girlfriend comes over since she hasn’t seen her in a couple weeks. I say sure. I get there and she has the lights dim. Her friend is wearing this skinny tight dress and she is dressed in a tight leather skirt and they both were drinking wine. She starts pouring the drinks. Her friend seemed nervous for a bit but the flight attendant was not. She puts on music and is just dancing in front of me stripper style. This goes on for an hour. I head to the bathroom to take a piss and come out and they were gone. She then yells telling me to come into the bedroom. Both just had their bras and panties on and she tells me why am I overdressed. I undress and they take the rest off. She pushes me down on the bed and gets on top and her friend comes over and sits on my face. Then they swap positions and then she tells me to fuck her doggy. I roll her over and fucking her doggy while her friend is behind me with her finger up my ass and playing with my balls. We swap position after position. I was so badly ready to bust but I didn’t want this to end. Kept it going for a bit then all of a sudden got soft. What the fuck! So I lay there while they both blow me to get me hard again. Then I get on top of on of them and the other hugs me from behind as I plow her. They both ask me to cum on their faces when I’m ready and boy did I shoot. What a fucking amazing time. Totally out of nowhere. I’m seeing them again today. Well maybe both but for sure the flight attendant.
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Good job, blanco!
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Leave Booty out of this.
She became friends with her!
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Well here’s a fresh story from last night. I flew from Atlanta to LA for the long weekend. There was this tight older flight attendant with big ass fake tits. I was upgraded to first since the plane was half empty. She was all flirty with me. So I flirted back. Was super aggressive in telling her how hot she was. Part way through the flight they bring some stupid snack tray since they aren’t feeding us real food and passes me napkin and the tray. I miss the napkin from her hand and it falls onto the floor. She tells me she’ll get it. Picks it up. Opens it up and places it on my lap and does a hard press onto my cock as she puts it on me. She’s staring in my eyes smiling while she did it. She walks away and sits down. I get up in a bit and chat with her at the front of the plane. Ask her if she wants to meet for drinks or whatever and exchange numbers.
So yesterday I test her and ask her if she wants to have drinks. She invited me over to her place and asks if it’s okay if her girlfriend comes over since she hasn’t seen her in a couple weeks. I say sure. I get there and she has the lights dim. Her friend is wearing this skinny tight dress and she is dressed in a tight leather skirt and they both were drinking wine. She starts pouring the drinks. Her friend seemed nervous for a bit but the flight attendant was not. She puts on music and is just dancing in front of me stripper style. This goes on for an hour. I head to the bathroom to take a piss and come out and they were gone. She then yells telling me to come into the bedroom. Both just had their bras and panties on and she tells me why am I overdressed. I undress and they take the rest off. She pushes me down on the bed and gets on top and her friend comes over and sits on my face. Then they swap positions and then she tells me to fuck her doggy. I roll her over and fucking her doggy while her friend is behind me with her finger up my ass and playing with my balls. We swap position after position. I was so badly ready to bust but I didn’t want this to end. Kept it going for a bit then all of a sudden got soft. What the fuck! So I lay there while they both blow me to get me hard again. Then I get on top of on of them and the other hugs me from behind as I plow her. They both ask me to cum on their faces when I’m ready and boy did I shoot. What a fucking amazing time. Totally out of nowhere. I’m seeing them again today. Well maybe both but for sure the flight attendant.
She became friends with her!
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Well here’s a fresh story from last night. I flew from Atlanta to LA for the long weekend. There was this tight older flight attendant with big ass fake tits. I was upgraded to first since the plane was half empty. She was all flirty with me. So I flirted back. Was super aggressive in telling her how hot she was. Part way through the flight they bring some stupid snack tray since they aren’t feeding us real food and passes me napkin and the tray. I miss the napkin from her hand and it falls onto the floor. She tells me she’ll get it. Picks it up. Opens it up and places it on my lap and does a hard press onto my cock as she puts it on me. She’s staring in my eyes smiling while she did it. She walks away and sits down. I get up in a bit and chat with her at the front of the plane. Ask her if she wants to meet for drinks or whatever and exchange numbers.
So yesterday I test her and ask her if she wants to have drinks. She invited me over to her place and asks if it’s okay if her girlfriend comes over since she hasn’t seen her in a couple weeks. I say sure. I get there and she has the lights dim. Her friend is wearing this skinny tight dress and she is dressed in a tight leather skirt and they both were drinking wine. She starts pouring the drinks. Her friend seemed nervous for a bit but the flight attendant was not. She puts on music and is just dancing in front of me stripper style. This goes on for an hour. I head to the bathroom to take a piss and come out and they were gone. She then yells telling me to come into the bedroom. Both just had their bras and panties on and she tells me why am I overdressed. I undress and they take the rest off. She pushes me down on the bed and gets on top and her friend comes over and sits on my face. Then they swap positions and then she tells me to fuck her doggy. I roll her over and fucking her doggy while her friend is behind me with her finger up my ass and playing with my balls. We swap position after position. I was so badly ready to bust but I didn’t want this to end. Kept it going for a bit then all of a sudden got soft. What the fuck! So I lay there while they both blow me to get me hard again. Then I get on top of on of them and the other hugs me from behind as I plow her. They both ask me to cum on their faces when I’m ready and boy did I shoot. What a fucking amazing time. Totally out of nowhere. I’m seeing them again today. Well maybe both but for sure the flight attendant.
Hold on a minute Dirk - I thought we were telling stories where we looked like idiots not super-studs LOL! ;D
I can do the cool stories too FFS ;D
Back in the '90s when I ran the gym one of the hard-body aerobic instructor girls I was seeing brought an equally sexy friend along at the end of the night and timed it so they were the last people in at closing time. Then she asked me to lock up. It started in the sauna but it wasn't til they dropped the towels that I eventually realised what was going on (durr!) and then we moved to the weights room - lots of benches ;)
We were all in great shape and there were obviously mirrors everywhere but no camera phones back then, so once I got used to being butt-naked in the middle of the brightly lit space which was usually full of people, I spent a lot of the time engineering quite athletic positions to take 'mental photos'. I mention this specifically because it meant that many years later when I saw that scene from American Psycho it made me LOL how it reminded me of that session
(https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fi.pinimg.com%2Foriginals%2F5d%2F59%2F96%2F5d5996069b025ce5464df4b2d4e4a16d.gif&f=1&nofb=1)
I've got more like this from those singleton years if people are interested?
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Well here’s a fresh story from last night. I flew from Atlanta to LA for the long weekend. There was this tight older flight attendant with big ass fake tits. I was upgraded to first since the plane was half empty. She was all flirty with me. So I flirted back. Was super aggressive in telling her how hot she was. Part way through the flight they bring some stupid snack tray since they aren’t feeding us real food and passes me napkin and the tray. I miss the napkin from her hand and it falls onto the floor. She tells me she’ll get it. Picks it up. Opens it up and places it on my lap and does a hard press onto my cock as she puts it on me. She’s staring in my eyes smiling while she did it. She walks away and sits down. I get up in a bit and chat with her at the front of the plane. Ask her if she wants to meet for drinks or whatever and exchange numbers.
So yesterday I test her and ask her if she wants to have drinks. She invited me over to her place and asks if it’s okay if her girlfriend comes over since she hasn’t seen her in a couple weeks. I say sure. I get there and she has the lights dim. Her friend is wearing this skinny tight dress and she is dressed in a tight leather skirt and they both were drinking wine. She starts pouring the drinks. Her friend seemed nervous for a bit but the flight attendant was not. She puts on music and is just dancing in front of me stripper style. This goes on for an hour. I head to the bathroom to take a piss and come out and they were gone. She then yells telling me to come into the bedroom. Both just had their bras and panties on and she tells me why am I overdressed. I undress and they take the rest off. She pushes me down on the bed and gets on top and her friend comes over and sits on my face. Then they swap positions and then she tells me to fuck her doggy. I roll her over and fucking her doggy while her friend is behind me with her finger up my ass and playing with my balls. We swap position after position. I was so badly ready to bust but I didn’t want this to end. Kept it going for a bit then all of a sudden got soft. What the fuck! So I lay there while they both blow me to get me hard again. Then I get on top of on of them and the other hugs me from behind as I plow her. They both ask me to cum on their faces when I’m ready and boy did I shoot. What a fucking amazing time. Totally out of nowhere. I’m seeing them again today. Well maybe both but for sure the flight attendant.
“her friend is behind me with her finger up my ass”
Not only is your story bullshit...you’re a phaggot.
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Well here’s a fresh story from last night. I flew from Atlanta to LA for the long weekend. There was this tight older flight attendant with big ass fake tits. I was upgraded to first since the plane was half empty. She was all flirty with me. So I flirted back. Was super aggressive in telling her how hot she was. Part way through the flight they bring some stupid snack tray since they aren’t feeding us real food and passes me napkin and the tray. I miss the napkin from her hand and it falls onto the floor. She tells me she’ll get it. Picks it up. Opens it up and places it on my lap and does a hard press onto my cock as she puts it on me. She’s staring in my eyes smiling while she did it. She walks away and sits down. I get up in a bit and chat with her at the front of the plane. Ask her if she wants to meet for drinks or whatever and exchange numbers.
So yesterday I test her and ask her if she wants to have drinks. She invited me over to her place and asks if it’s okay if her girlfriend comes over since she hasn’t seen her in a couple weeks. I say sure. I get there and she has the lights dim. Her friend is wearing this skinny tight dress and she is dressed in a tight leather skirt and they both were drinking wine. She starts pouring the drinks. Her friend seemed nervous for a bit but the flight attendant was not. She puts on music and is just dancing in front of me stripper style. This goes on for an hour. I head to the bathroom to take a piss and come out and they were gone. She then yells telling me to come into the bedroom. Both just had their bras and panties on and she tells me why am I overdressed. I undress and they take the rest off. She pushes me down on the bed and gets on top and her friend comes over and sits on my face. Then they swap positions and then she tells me to fuck her doggy. I roll her over and fucking her doggy while her friend is behind me with her finger up my ass and playing with my balls. We swap position after position. I was so badly ready to bust but I didn’t want this to end. Kept it going for a bit then all of a sudden got soft. What the fuck! So I lay there while they both blow me to get me hard again. Then I get on top of on of them and the other hugs me from behind as I plow her. They both ask me to cum on their faces when I’m ready and boy did I shoot. What a fucking amazing time. Totally out of nowhere. I’m seeing them again today. Well maybe both but for sure the flight attendant.
You broke up with your girlfriend? The one you thought was perfect except for her kid?
Why are you flying out of LAX if you’re in San Diego? Were there no direct flights?
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(http://media.giphy.com/media/U6G7u44koh4m4vFLX3/giphy.gif)
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“her friend is behind me with her finger up my ass”
Not only is your story bullshit...you’re a phaggot.
Posts like this are why I keep coming back to Getbig.
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Well here’s a fresh story from last night. I flew from Atlanta to LA for the long weekend. There was this tight older flight attendant with big ass fake tits. I was upgraded to first since the plane was half empty. She was all flirty with me. So I flirted back. Was super aggressive in telling her how hot she was. Part way through the flight they bring some stupid snack tray since they aren’t feeding us real food and passes me napkin and the tray. I miss the napkin from her hand and it falls onto the floor. She tells me she’ll get it. Picks it up. Opens it up and places it on my lap and does a hard press onto my cock as she puts it on me. She’s staring in my eyes smiling while she did it. She walks away and sits down. I get up in a bit and chat with her at the front of the plane. Ask her if she wants to meet for drinks or whatever and exchange numbers.
So yesterday I test her and ask her if she wants to have drinks. She invited me over to her place and asks if it’s okay if her girlfriend comes over since she hasn’t seen her in a couple weeks. I say sure. I get there and she has the lights dim. Her friend is wearing this skinny tight dress and she is dressed in a tight leather skirt and they both were drinking wine. She starts pouring the drinks. Her friend seemed nervous for a bit but the flight attendant was not. She puts on music and is just dancing in front of me stripper style. This goes on for an hour. I head to the bathroom to take a piss and come out and they were gone. She then yells telling me to come into the bedroom. Both just had their bras and panties on and she tells me why am I overdressed. I undress and they take the rest off. She pushes me down on the bed and gets on top and her friend comes over and sits on my face. Then they swap positions and then she tells me to fuck her doggy. I roll her over and fucking her doggy while her friend is behind me with her finger up my ass and playing with my balls. We swap position after position. I was so badly ready to bust but I didn’t want this to end. Kept it going for a bit then all of a sudden got soft. What the fuck! So I lay there while they both blow me to get me hard again. Then I get on top of on of them and the other hugs me from behind as I plow her. They both ask me to cum on their faces when I’m ready and boy did I shoot. What a fucking amazing time. Totally out of nowhere. I’m seeing them again today. Well maybe both but for sure the flight attendant.
This is more like like it! Good job my man!
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Well here’s a fresh story from last night. I flew from Atlanta to LA for the long weekend. There was this tight older flight attendant with big ass fake tits. I was upgraded to first since the plane was half empty. She was all flirty with me. So I flirted back. Was super aggressive in telling her how hot she was. Part way through the flight they bring some stupid snack tray since they aren’t feeding us real food and passes me napkin and the tray. I miss the napkin from her hand and it falls onto the floor. She tells me she’ll get it. Picks it up. Opens it up and places it on my lap and does a hard press onto my cock as she puts it on me. She’s staring in my eyes smiling while she did it. She walks away and sits down. I get up in a bit and chat with her at the front of the plane. Ask her if she wants to meet for drinks or whatever and exchange numbers.
So yesterday I test her and ask her if she wants to have drinks. She invited me over to her place and asks if it’s okay if her girlfriend comes over since she hasn’t seen her in a couple weeks. I say sure. I get there and she has the lights dim. Her friend is wearing this skinny tight dress and she is dressed in a tight leather skirt and they both were drinking wine. She starts pouring the drinks. Her friend seemed nervous for a bit but the flight attendant was not. She puts on music and is just dancing in front of me stripper style. This goes on for an hour. I head to the bathroom to take a piss and come out and they were gone. She then yells telling me to come into the bedroom. Both just had their bras and panties on and she tells me why am I overdressed. I undress and they take the rest off. She pushes me down on the bed and gets on top and her friend comes over and sits on my face. Then they swap positions and then she tells me to fuck her doggy. I roll her over and fucking her doggy while her friend is behind me with her finger up my ass and playing with my balls. We swap position after position. I was so badly ready to bust but I didn’t want this to end. Kept it going for a bit then all of a sudden got soft. What the fuck! So I lay there while they both blow me to get me hard again. Then I get on top of on of them and the other hugs me from behind as I plow her. They both ask me to cum on their faces when I’m ready and boy did I shoot. What a fucking amazing time. Totally out of nowhere. I’m seeing them again today. Well maybe both but for sure the flight attendant.
If this really happened then you got #metooed bro. Man up. If a woman puts her hand anywhere near your cock, grab her hand and make sure she gets a real feel of it.
If this is fiction then this is a serious beta fantasy. The kind 14 year old boys have.
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Well here’s a fresh story from last night. I flew from Atlanta to LA for the long weekend. There was this tight older flight attendant with big ass fake tits. I was upgraded to first since the plane was half empty. She was all flirty with me. So I flirted back. Was super aggressive in telling her how hot she was. Part way through the flight they bring some stupid snack tray since they aren’t feeding us real food and passes me napkin and the tray. I miss the napkin from her hand and it falls onto the floor. She tells me she’ll get it. Picks it up. Opens it up and places it on my lap and does a hard press onto my cock as she puts it on me. She’s staring in my eyes smiling while she did it. She walks away and sits down. I get up in a bit and chat with her at the front of the plane. Ask her if she wants to meet for drinks or whatever and exchange numbers.
So yesterday I test her and ask her if she wants to have drinks. She invited me over to her place and asks if it’s okay if her girlfriend comes over since she hasn’t seen her in a couple weeks. I say sure. I get there and she has the lights dim. Her friend is wearing this skinny tight dress and she is dressed in a tight leather skirt and they both were drinking wine. She starts pouring the drinks. Her friend seemed nervous for a bit but the flight attendant was not. She puts on music and is just dancing in front of me stripper style. This goes on for an hour. I head to the bathroom to take a piss and come out and they were gone. She then yells telling me to come into the bedroom. Both just had their bras and panties on and she tells me why am I overdressed. I undress and they take the rest off. She pushes me down on the bed and gets on top and her friend comes over and sits on my face. Then they swap positions and then she tells me to fuck her doggy. I roll her over and fucking her doggy while her friend is behind me with her finger up my ass and playing with my balls. We swap position after position. I was so badly ready to bust but I didn’t want this to end. Kept it going for a bit then all of a sudden got soft. What the fuck! So I lay there while they both blow me to get me hard again. Then I get on top of on of them and the other hugs me from behind as I plow her. They both ask me to cum on their faces when I’m ready and boy did I shoot. What a fucking amazing time. Totally out of nowhere. I’m seeing them again today. Well maybe both but for sure the flight attendant.
Good experience if true.
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Good experience if true.
lets not forget diablo is a small paki hindi
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Well here’s a fresh story from last night. I flew from Atlanta to LA for the long weekend. There was this tight older flight attendant with big ass fake tits. I was upgraded to first since the plane was half empty. She was all flirty with me. So I flirted back. Was super aggressive in telling her how hot she was. Part way through the flight they bring some stupid snack tray since they aren’t feeding us real food and passes me napkin and the tray. I miss the napkin from her hand and it falls onto the floor. She tells me she’ll get it. Picks it up. Opens it up and places it on my lap and does a hard press onto my cock as she puts it on me. She’s staring in my eyes smiling while she did it. She walks away and sits down. I get up in a bit and chat with her at the front of the plane. Ask her if she wants to meet for drinks or whatever and exchange numbers.
So yesterday I test her and ask her if she wants to have drinks. She invited me over to her place and asks if it’s okay if her girlfriend comes over since she hasn’t seen her in a couple weeks. I say sure. I get there and she has the lights dim. Her friend is wearing this skinny tight dress and she is dressed in a tight leather skirt and they both were drinking wine. She starts pouring the drinks. Her friend seemed nervous for a bit but the flight attendant was not. She puts on music and is just dancing in front of me stripper style. This goes on for an hour. I head to the bathroom to take a piss and come out and they were gone. She then yells telling me to come into the bedroom. Both just had their bras and panties on and she tells me why am I overdressed. I undress and they take the rest off. She pushes me down on the bed and gets on top and her friend comes over and sits on my face. Then they swap positions and then she tells me to fuck her doggy. I roll her over and fucking her doggy while her friend is behind me with her finger up my ass and playing with my balls. We swap position after position. I was so badly ready to bust but I didn’t want this to end. Kept it going for a bit then all of a sudden got soft. What the fuck! So I lay there while they both blow me to get me hard again. Then I get on top of on of them and the other hugs me from behind as I plow her. They both ask me to cum on their faces when I’m ready and boy did I shoot. What a fucking amazing time. Totally out of nowhere. I’m seeing them again today. Well maybe both but for sure the flight attendant.
Outed for letting her dance for an hour.
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Good experience if true.
Zero chance of that.
He took the bus downtown to the Food Bank, he blew two homeless winos to get bus fare back to his Mom’s house. When he got home his dad beat him for being a twink bald little Paki homo.
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Zero chance of that.
He took the bus downtown to the Food Bank, he blew two homeless winos to get bus fare back to his Mom’s house. When he got home his dad beat him for being a twink bald little Paki homo.
:D
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Well i wasn't going to share this, but i'm bored at work waiting for my last video conference, so here you go.
One of the worst experiences in my life, i'm still trying to forget it.
This was a little over 2 years ago.
I'm doing the online dating app thing, going after single moms and 30-something Latinas with daddy issues. It have been a while since i got laid so i'm fishing a little deeper than normal. This 30 year old mother of 3 who was 5'3" and 130ish messages me, we start talking. She seems decent in her pics, so i ask for a few more. Looks good, but you never know until you peel the cloths off. These Mexican broads can hide fat really well.
We chat for a few says, i get her number and call her on a Friday night. She's excited and tells me her kids just "happened" to be with their baby daddy this weekend and she'd like to go out for a drink. She flirts with me pretty hard, so i can tell she's completely DTF, no drinks necessary. So i joke around and tell her i should just come to her place for a drink and then go from there. She accepts, i'm pumped and can't wait to clap some nice Mexican butt cheeks.
For those not in the "know" Mexican pussy is like an oven, it's the warmest love pocket you will ever witness. - Just FYI
Saturday evening comes, she's been sending me flirty texts all day. Asking me if she should even bother wearing anything? :o So i decide to "pre-game" a bit, make a couple drinks, grab a roady and head for the hour drive over to her place. I'm jacked up on 750mg of Test and 50mg of Cialis, i'm ready to take her to pound town.
I'm almost to her house and text her, she calls me and gives me directions to another house a few miles away. Weird. Not to be deterred i carry on, park in the driveway and walk to the front door. She opens the door and to my demise stands a 40 year old 160 pound Mexican Yeti, complete with Sharpie eyebrows and chola gold hoop ear rings. I'm speechless and not sure what to do, before i say anything she says "that profile is my sisters and i have access to it". I'm like "ok where is your sister"? :D She says her sis is in a relationship, so is unaware of me at all. Then tells me she knew i'd still be interested once i arrived. :-[ ::)
So i'm not too upset, but really weirded out by all of this. But captain winky is all in so i just play along a little. Start massaging her shoulders, she drinks a glass of wine while i have some gin. Leads me to the bedroom. I notice the house is immaculately clean, not something a lady with kids would have. So we start messing around, i slide her panties off, she's wetter than slip n slide. Has a bit of a gut, nothing too serious, just a big girl. Pull her shirt of and her funbags fall almost to her belly button. She's got massive tittonas of peace, but damn they look like those African ladies in the old National Geographic magazines my dad used to have. :-\
I just power through, she gives amazing head and even deep throats like a champion. I considered just busting in her mouth and leaving, but the Gin had kicked in so i was going to have to work for it. She rides me like a stallion and has a few orgasms, i flip her around and clap them cheeks from behind. Then i'm thinking "anal"? So i start fingering her butt with no resistance, so i know she's down. I have her suck me off and get my dick all sloppy, then slide it in slowly. She struggles for a minute and then takes it like a champ. 2-3 minute later i'm balls deep plowing this beast like a pornstar.
Here's where the "fun" begins. I'm going to pound town and then hear the front door open and then shut with some muffled voices. I stop pound and can tell she's in panic mode. All of a sudden i feel this warmth around my dick followed by a sandy sensation, it's apparent whatever was in her guts has entered her rectum. I'm panicking. Then i smell this horrible odor, she's leaking out. :-X I'm terrified, she's looking back at me like she just saw the grim reaper. THEN the door opens to the bedroom, there is her 30 year old sister looking all sexy with 3 kids trailing behind her.
What happens next is like imagining a 20 gallon balloon filled with diarrhea and compressed air being released. She squirms off me and what can only be described as a "shit sprinkler" starts spraying across the room. It's everywhere! I'm almost throwing up, my lower half of my body covered in shit. Her sister is pushing the kids down the hallway while gagging. The beast looks at me with tears in her eyes, then runs down the hallway to the only bathroom.
So i'm stuck in this room, covered in shit and no bathroom. Fuck! So i open the nearest drawer, and start cleaning myself with whatever clothing i could find. Ended up getting most of it off with some t shirts and a glass of water. Now i'm not sure what to do, so i just walk towards the front door. The little sister is on the phone screaming in Spanish to someone. Refuses to make eye contact, so i just rush out the door and jump in my truck. Haul ass to a local LA Fitness (BBing related) to shower.
The entire drive home i'm in agony because i left my fucking cell phone at this sluts house. Via online chat she agreed to leave it in the mailbox. So i pick it up the next day. I could see the little sister looking out the window as i took my phone out of the mailbox. What a weird situation. So the beast sends me a message like a week later explaining everything. Those kids were hers and her sister had taken them out for the evening. They came back home early.
That house? It was her ex-husbands house. They were staying there while he was overseas. He was in the military, which explained how immaculate the place was. All the cloths i wiped shit on were his. ;D
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Did you at least jerk yourself off?
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Well i wasn't going to share this, but i'm bored at work waiting for my last video conference, so here you go.
One of the worst experiences in my life, i'm still trying to forget it.
This was a little over 2 years ago.
I'm doing the online dating app thing, going after single moms and 30-something Latinas with daddy issues. It have been a while since i got laid so i'm fishing a little deeper than normal. This 30 year old mother of 3 who was 5'3" and 130ish messages me, we start talking. She seems decent in her pics, so i ask for a few more. Looks good, but you never know until you peel the cloths off. These Mexican broads can hide fat really well.
We chat for a few says, i get her number and call her on a Friday night. She's excited and tells me her kids just "happened" to be with their baby daddy this weekend and she'd like to go out for a drink. She flirts with me pretty hard, so i can tell she's completely DTF, no drinks necessary. So i joke around and tell her i should just come to her place for a drink and then go from there. She accepts, i'm pumped and can't wait to clap some nice Mexican butt cheeks.
For those not in the "know" Mexican pussy is like an oven, it's the warmest love pocket you will ever witness. - Just FYI
Saturday evening comes, she's been sending me flirty texts all day. Asking me if she should even bother wearing anything? :o So i decide to "pre-game" a bit, make a couple drinks, grab a roady and head for the hour drive over to her place. I'm jacked up on 750mg of Test and 50mg of Cialis, i'm ready to take her to pound town.
I'm almost to her house and text her, she calls me and gives me directions to another house a few miles away. Weird. Not to be deterred i carry on, park in the driveway and walk to the front door. She opens the door and to my demise stands a 40 year old 160 pound Mexican Yeti, complete with Sharpie eyebrows and chola gold hoop ear rings. I'm speechless and not sure what to do, before i say anything she says "that profile is my sisters and i have access to it". I'm like "ok where is your sister"? :D She says her sis is in a relationship, so is unaware of me at all. Then tells me she knew i'd still be interested once i arrived. :-[ ::)
So i'm not too upset, but really weirded out by all of this. But captain winky is all in so i just play along a little. Start massaging her shoulders, she drinks a glass of wine while i have some gin. Leads me to the bedroom. I notice the house is immaculately clean, not something a lady with kids would have. So we start messing around, i slide her panties off, she's wetter than slip n slide. Has a bit of a gut, nothing too serious, just a big girl. Pull her shirt of and her funbags fall almost to her belly button. She's got massive tittonas of peace, but damn they look like those African ladies in the old National Geographic magazines my dad used to have. :-\
I just power through, she gives amazing head and even deep throats like a champion. I considered just busting in her mouth and leaving, but the Gin had kicked in so i was going to have to work for it. She rides me like a stallion and has a few orgasms, i flip her around and clap them cheeks from behind. Then i'm thinking "anal"? So i start fingering her butt with no resistance, so i know she's down. I have her suck me off and get my dick all sloppy, then slide it in slowly. She struggles for a minute and then takes it like a champ. 2-3 minute later i'm balls deep plowing this beast like a pornstar.
Here's where the "fun" begins. I'm going to pound town and then hear the front door open and then shut with some muffled voices. I stop pound and can tell she's in panic mode. All of a sudden i feel this warmth around my dick followed by a sandy sensation, it's apparent whatever was in her guts has entered her rectum. I'm panicking. Then i smell this horrible odor, she's leaking out. :-X I'm terrified, she's looking back at me like she just saw the grim reaper. THEN the door opens to the bedroom, there is her 30 year old sister looking all sexy with 3 kids trailing behind her.
What happens next is like imagining a 20 gallon balloon filled with diarrhea and compressed air being released. She squirms off me and what can only be described as a "shit sprinkler" starts spraying across the room. It's everywhere! I'm almost throwing up, my lower half of my body covered in shit. Her sister is pushing the kids down the hallway while gagging. The beast looks at me with tears in her eyes, then runs down the hallway to the only bathroom.
So i'm stuck in this room, covered in shit and no bathroom. Fuck! So i open the nearest drawer, and start cleaning myself with whatever clothing i could find. Ended up getting most of it off with some t shirts and a glass of water. Now i'm not sure what to do, so i just walk towards the front door. The little sister is on the phone screaming in Spanish to someone. Refuses to make eye contact, so i just rush out the door and jump in my truck. Haul ass to a local LA Fitness (BBing related) to shower.
The entire drive home i'm in agony because i left my fucking cell phone at this sluts house. Via online chat she agreed to leave it in the mailbox. So i pick it up the next day. I could see the little sister looking out the window as i took my phone out of the mailbox. What a weird situation. So the beast sends me a message like a week later explaining everything. Those kids were hers and her sister had taken them out for the evening. They came back home early.
That house? It was her ex-husbands house. They were staying there while he was overseas. He was in the military, which explained how immaculate the place was. All the cloths i wiped shit on were his. ;D
Fucking Gold!....Honor roll Getbigger for sure! ;D
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Well i wasn't going to share this, but i'm bored at work waiting for my last video conference, so here you go.
One of the worst experiences in my life, i'm still trying to forget it.
This was a little over 2 years ago.
I'm doing the online dating app thing, going after single moms and 30-something Latinas with daddy issues. It have been a while since i got laid so i'm fishing a little deeper than normal. This 30 year old mother of 3 who was 5'3" and 130ish messages me, we start talking. She seems decent in her pics, so i ask for a few more. Looks good, but you never know until you peel the cloths off. These Mexican broads can hide fat really well.
We chat for a few says, i get her number and call her on a Friday night. She's excited and tells me her kids just "happened" to be with their baby daddy this weekend and she'd like to go out for a drink. She flirts with me pretty hard, so i can tell she's completely DTF, no drinks necessary. So i joke around and tell her i should just come to her place for a drink and then go from there. She accepts, i'm pumped and can't wait to clap some nice Mexican butt cheeks.
For those not in the "know" Mexican pussy is like an oven, it's the warmest love pocket you will ever witness. - Just FYI
Saturday evening comes, she's been sending me flirty texts all day. Asking me if she should even bother wearing anything? :o So i decide to "pre-game" a bit, make a couple drinks, grab a roady and head for the hour drive over to her place. I'm jacked up on 750mg of Test and 50mg of Cialis, i'm ready to take her to pound town.
I'm almost to her house and text her, she calls me and gives me directions to another house a few miles away. Weird. Not to be deterred i carry on, park in the driveway and walk to the front door. She opens the door and to my demise stands a 40 year old 160 pound Mexican Yeti, complete with Sharpie eyebrows and chola gold hoop ear rings. I'm speechless and not sure what to do, before i say anything she says "that profile is my sisters and i have access to it". I'm like "ok where is your sister"? :D She says her sis is in a relationship, so is unaware of me at all. Then tells me she knew i'd still be interested once i arrived. :-[ ::)
So i'm not too upset, but really weirded out by all of this. But captain winky is all in so i just play along a little. Start massaging her shoulders, she drinks a glass of wine while i have some gin. Leads me to the bedroom. I notice the house is immaculately clean, not something a lady with kids would have. So we start messing around, i slide her panties off, she's wetter than slip n slide. Has a bit of a gut, nothing too serious, just a big girl. Pull her shirt of and her funbags fall almost to her belly button. She's got massive tittonas of peace, but damn they look like those African ladies in the old National Geographic magazines my dad used to have. :-\
I just power through, she gives amazing head and even deep throats like a champion. I considered just busting in her mouth and leaving, but the Gin had kicked in so i was going to have to work for it. She rides me like a stallion and has a few orgasms, i flip her around and clap them cheeks from behind. Then i'm thinking "anal"? So i start fingering her butt with no resistance, so i know she's down. I have her suck me off and get my dick all sloppy, then slide it in slowly. She struggles for a minute and then takes it like a champ. 2-3 minute later i'm balls deep plowing this beast like a pornstar.
Here's where the "fun" begins. I'm going to pound town and then hear the front door open and then shut with some muffled voices. I stop pound and can tell she's in panic mode. All of a sudden i feel this warmth around my dick followed by a sandy sensation, it's apparent whatever was in her guts has entered her rectum. I'm panicking. Then i smell this horrible odor, she's leaking out. :-X I'm terrified, she's looking back at me like she just saw the grim reaper. THEN the door opens to the bedroom, there is her 30 year old sister looking all sexy with 3 kids trailing behind her.
What happens next is like imagining a 20 gallon balloon filled with diarrhea and compressed air being released. She squirms off me and what can only be described as a "shit sprinkler" starts spraying across the room. It's everywhere! I'm almost throwing up, my lower half of my body covered in shit. Her sister is pushing the kids down the hallway while gagging. The beast looks at me with tears in her eyes, then runs down the hallway to the only bathroom.
So i'm stuck in this room, covered in shit and no bathroom. Fuck! So i open the nearest drawer, and start cleaning myself with whatever clothing i could find. Ended up getting most of it off with some t shirts and a glass of water. Now i'm not sure what to do, so i just walk towards the front door. The little sister is on the phone screaming in Spanish to someone. Refuses to make eye contact, so i just rush out the door and jump in my truck. Haul ass to a local LA Fitness (BBing related) to shower.
The entire drive home i'm in agony because i left my fucking cell phone at this sluts house. Via online chat she agreed to leave it in the mailbox. So i pick it up the next day. I could see the little sister looking out the window as i took my phone out of the mailbox. What a weird situation. So the beast sends me a message like a week later explaining everything. Those kids were hers and her sister had taken them out for the evening. They came back home early.
That house? It was her ex-husbands house. They were staying there while he was overseas. He was in the military, which explained how immaculate the place was. All the cloths i wiped shit on were his. ;D
:D Are you cured of the desire for anal yet?
-
Well i wasn't going to share this, but i'm bored at work waiting for my last video conference, so here you go.
One of the worst experiences in my life, i'm still trying to forget it.
This was a little over 2 years ago.
I'm doing the online dating app thing, going after single moms and 30-something Latinas with daddy issues. It have been a while since i got laid so i'm fishing a little deeper than normal. This 30 year old mother of 3 who was 5'3" and 130ish messages me, we start talking. She seems decent in her pics, so i ask for a few more. Looks good, but you never know until you peel the cloths off. These Mexican broads can hide fat really well.
We chat for a few says, i get her number and call her on a Friday night. She's excited and tells me her kids just "happened" to be with their baby daddy this weekend and she'd like to go out for a drink. She flirts with me pretty hard, so i can tell she's completely DTF, no drinks necessary. So i joke around and tell her i should just come to her place for a drink and then go from there. She accepts, i'm pumped and can't wait to clap some nice Mexican butt cheeks.
For those not in the "know" Mexican pussy is like an oven, it's the warmest love pocket you will ever witness. - Just FYI
Saturday evening comes, she's been sending me flirty texts all day. Asking me if she should even bother wearing anything? :o So i decide to "pre-game" a bit, make a couple drinks, grab a roady and head for the hour drive over to her place. I'm jacked up on 750mg of Test and 50mg of Cialis, i'm ready to take her to pound town.
I'm almost to her house and text her, she calls me and gives me directions to another house a few miles away. Weird. Not to be deterred i carry on, park in the driveway and walk to the front door. She opens the door and to my demise stands a 40 year old 160 pound Mexican Yeti, complete with Sharpie eyebrows and chola gold hoop ear rings. I'm speechless and not sure what to do, before i say anything she says "that profile is my sisters and i have access to it". I'm like "ok where is your sister"? :D She says her sis is in a relationship, so is unaware of me at all. Then tells me she knew i'd still be interested once i arrived. :-[ ::)
So i'm not too upset, but really weirded out by all of this. But captain winky is all in so i just play along a little. Start massaging her shoulders, she drinks a glass of wine while i have some gin. Leads me to the bedroom. I notice the house is immaculately clean, not something a lady with kids would have. So we start messing around, i slide her panties off, she's wetter than slip n slide. Has a bit of a gut, nothing too serious, just a big girl. Pull her shirt of and her funbags fall almost to her belly button. She's got massive tittonas of peace, but damn they look like those African ladies in the old National Geographic magazines my dad used to have. :-\
I just power through, she gives amazing head and even deep throats like a champion. I considered just busting in her mouth and leaving, but the Gin had kicked in so i was going to have to work for it. She rides me like a stallion and has a few orgasms, i flip her around and clap them cheeks from behind. Then i'm thinking "anal"? So i start fingering her butt with no resistance, so i know she's down. I have her suck me off and get my dick all sloppy, then slide it in slowly. She struggles for a minute and then takes it like a champ. 2-3 minute later i'm balls deep plowing this beast like a pornstar.
Here's where the "fun" begins. I'm going to pound town and then hear the front door open and then shut with some muffled voices. I stop pound and can tell she's in panic mode. All of a sudden i feel this warmth around my dick followed by a sandy sensation, it's apparent whatever was in her guts has entered her rectum. I'm panicking. Then i smell this horrible odor, she's leaking out. :-X I'm terrified, she's looking back at me like she just saw the grim reaper. THEN the door opens to the bedroom, there is her 30 year old sister looking all sexy with 3 kids trailing behind her.
What happens next is like imagining a 20 gallon balloon filled with diarrhea and compressed air being released. She squirms off me and what can only be described as a "shit sprinkler" starts spraying across the room. It's everywhere! I'm almost throwing up, my lower half of my body covered in shit. Her sister is pushing the kids down the hallway while gagging. The beast looks at me with tears in her eyes, then runs down the hallway to the only bathroom.
So i'm stuck in this room, covered in shit and no bathroom. Fuck! So i open the nearest drawer, and start cleaning myself with whatever clothing i could find. Ended up getting most of it off with some t shirts and a glass of water. Now i'm not sure what to do, so i just walk towards the front door. The little sister is on the phone screaming in Spanish to someone. Refuses to make eye contact, so i just rush out the door and jump in my truck. Haul ass to a local LA Fitness (BBing related) to shower.
The entire drive home i'm in agony because i left my fucking cell phone at this sluts house. Via online chat she agreed to leave it in the mailbox. So i pick it up the next day. I could see the little sister looking out the window as i took my phone out of the mailbox. What a weird situation. So the beast sends me a message like a week later explaining everything. Those kids were hers and her sister had taken them out for the evening. They came back home early.
That house? It was her ex-husbands house. They were staying there while he was overseas. He was in the military, which explained how immaculate the place was. All the cloths i wiped shit on were his. ;D
Sympathy and Respect Brother!
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Nice story. I could almost smell the shit through the interwebs. Now I have to shower.
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Other than I really like women and I'm married to one, I've got nothing to tell worth telling.
-
Well i wasn't going to share this, but i'm bored at work waiting for my last video conference, so here you go.
One of the worst experiences in my life, i'm still trying to forget it.
This was a little over 2 years ago.
I'm doing the online dating app thing, going after single moms and 30-something Latinas with daddy issues. It have been a while since i got laid so i'm fishing a little deeper than normal. This 30 year old mother of 3 who was 5'3" and 130ish messages me, we start talking. She seems decent in her pics, so i ask for a few more. Looks good, but you never know until you peel the cloths off. These Mexican broads can hide fat really well.
We chat for a few says, i get her number and call her on a Friday night. She's excited and tells me her kids just "happened" to be with their baby daddy this weekend and she'd like to go out for a drink. She flirts with me pretty hard, so i can tell she's completely DTF, no drinks necessary. So i joke around and tell her i should just come to her place for a drink and then go from there. She accepts, i'm pumped and can't wait to clap some nice Mexican butt cheeks.
For those not in the "know" Mexican pussy is like an oven, it's the warmest love pocket you will ever witness. - Just FYI
Saturday evening comes, she's been sending me flirty texts all day. Asking me if she should even bother wearing anything? :o So i decide to "pre-game" a bit, make a couple drinks, grab a roady and head for the hour drive over to her place. I'm jacked up on 750mg of Test and 50mg of Cialis, i'm ready to take her to pound town.
I'm almost to her house and text her, she calls me and gives me directions to another house a few miles away. Weird. Not to be deterred i carry on, park in the driveway and walk to the front door. She opens the door and to my demise stands a 40 year old 160 pound Mexican Yeti, complete with Sharpie eyebrows and chola gold hoop ear rings. I'm speechless and not sure what to do, before i say anything she says "that profile is my sisters and i have access to it". I'm like "ok where is your sister"? :D She says her sis is in a relationship, so is unaware of me at all. Then tells me she knew i'd still be interested once i arrived. :-[ ::)
So i'm not too upset, but really weirded out by all of this. But captain winky is all in so i just play along a little. Start massaging her shoulders, she drinks a glass of wine while i have some gin. Leads me to the bedroom. I notice the house is immaculately clean, not something a lady with kids would have. So we start messing around, i slide her panties off, she's wetter than slip n slide. Has a bit of a gut, nothing too serious, just a big girl. Pull her shirt of and her funbags fall almost to her belly button. She's got massive tittonas of peace
Got to this point and cracked me one off
Didn't need to read the rest - sure it turned out fine 8)
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Rookie mistake taking the bra off when it comes to older fat chicks. Shit don't even take their tshirt off.
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(https://i.imgur.com/9iqAOK6.gif)
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:D Are you cured of the desire for anal yet?
Honestly i'm not. ;D
But it does require proper "preparation". There are ways to avoid these incidents.
This wasn't the first "accident" but by far the worst. :-X
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Got to this point and cracked me one off
Didn't need to read the rest - sure it turned out fine 8)
;D
Yeah it was a memory not to be forgotten.
By either of us.
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I do not understand the desire to plow a woman in the arsehole.
I’m not turned off by a female’s turd launcher; not at all. However, it is ... that ... and if you go rumbling within, there’s always a semi-decent chance there will be an “accident” of some type.
I simply can never take that chance. It would be a turn-off unlike almost anything else.
With a woman with whom I’m in love, the most action that’ll happen there is shallowly poking it with my finger and licking it once in a while.
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Got to this point and cracked me one off
Didn't need to read the rest - sure it turned out fine 8)
Some of the terms and descriptions in this thread make me crack up, not off. ;D I'm too old for the latter of those two, brother Taff! ;D
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I do not understand the desire to plow a woman in the arsehole.
I’m not turned off by a female’s turd launcher; not at all. However, it is ... that ... and if you go rumbling within, there’s always a semi-decent chance there will be an “accident” of some type.
I simply can never take that chance. It would be a turn-off unlike almost anything else.
With a woman with whom I’m in love, the most action that’ll happen there is shallowly poking it with my finger and licking it once in a while.
I'll answer this, because i've had 20 years of plowing the old shitpipe.
So first of all, it's not that it feels incredible for guys, nothing is better than a nice hot, wet, tight poonany. Not a chance. It's just the act of doing it, it's like domination. Most women do not like it, but will let you do it to please you. I just like to pound the balloon knot and watch the way they react, the look on their face, the way they fight it so bad but still accept it. It's an experience for sure. Just to see them look at you as you slide it in and work their ass open, it's a glorious time to be alive. You can tell they don't really want it, they want to fight it, but they let that all go and accept their fate. ;D
Very few women love it, but once they get used to it they will have orgasms like you wouldn't believe. Like crazy orgasms. Once they experience that they usually are more open to it. But you have to take it slow and let them play with themselves too, sometimes with a toy; they will lose their minds.
Very few of my Gf's liked it, but my current one does, just only once or twice a month and we have to prepare for it. Typically they want to fast for 8-12 hours and clean out their ass with a water enema, make sure it's really cleaned out. They have to relax and not fight it. When they fight it is when bad things can happen, but if it's really clean, it's no big deal, nothing is going to surprise you. No smell, no mess, no problem.
For her, we have to drink a glass of wine, lots of foreplay. Get out some toys and play for a while, get her nice and horned up. LOTS of lube, that makes it easier. Start small and get her ass warmed up with toys and then gently slide it in. The first few minutes can be rough and if they fight it there is going to be more pain for her. But once they get loosened up it's just another hole to spread your seed. But once my GF has her first anal orgasm i have to stop and got back to her cooter, but that's fine with me.
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I'll answer this, because i've had 20 years of plowing the old shitpipe.
So first of all, it's not that it feels incredible for guys, nothing is better than a nice hot, wet, tight poonany. Not a chance. It's just the act of doing it, it's like domination. Most women do not like it, but will let you do it to please you. I just like to pound the balloon knot and watch the way they react, the look on their face, the way they fight it so bad but still accept it. It's an experience for sure. Just to see them look at you as you slide it in and work their ass open, it's a glorious time to be alive. You can tell they don't really want it, they want to fight it, but they let that all go and accept their fate. ;D
Very few women love it, but once they get used to it they will have orgasms like you wouldn't believe. Like crazy orgasms. Once they experience that they usually are more open to it. But you have to take it slow and let them play with themselves too, sometimes with a toy; they will lose their minds.
Very few of my Gf's liked it, but my current one does, just only once or twice a month and we have to prepare for it. Typically they want to fast for 8-12 hours and clean out their ass with a water enema, make sure it's really cleaned out. They have to relax and not fight it. When they fight it is when bad things can happen, but if it's really clean, it's no big deal, nothing is going to surprise you. No smell, no mess, no problem.
For her, we have to drink a glass of wine, lots of foreplay. Get out some toys and play for a while, get her nice and horned up. LOTS of lube, that makes it easier. Start small and get her ass warmed up with toys and then gently slide it in. The first few minutes can be rough and if they fight it there is going to be more pain for her. But once they get loosened up it's just another hole to spread your seed. But once my GF has her first anal orgasm i have to stop and got back to her cooter, but that's fine with me.
After withdrawing from her gaping anus do you sanitize your prick before entering the cunot? Or just go in tainted?
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After withdrawing from her gaping anus do you sanitize your prick before entering the cunot? Or just go in tainted?
Always clean with soap and water. They can get UTI's and other infections from it.
I've had a few girls who didn't care though. Do the old back and forth. ;D
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I’m officially out of this thread.
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I'll answer this, because i've had 20 years of plowing the old shitpipe.
So first of all, it's not that it feels incredible for guys, nothing is better than a nice hot, wet, tight poonany. Not a chance. It's just the act of doing it, it's like domination. Most women do not like it, but will let you do it to please you. I just like to pound the balloon knot and watch the way they react, the look on their face, the way they fight it so bad but still accept it. It's an experience for sure. Just to see them look at you as you slide it in and work their ass open, it's a glorious time to be alive. You can tell they don't really want it, they want to fight it, but they let that all go and accept their fate. ;D
Very few women love it, but once they get used to it they will have orgasms like you wouldn't believe. Like crazy orgasms. Once they experience that they usually are more open to it. But you have to take it slow and let them play with themselves too, sometimes with a toy; they will lose their minds.
Very few of my Gf's liked it, but my current one does, just only once or twice a month and we have to prepare for it. Typically they want to fast for 8-12 hours and clean out their ass with a water enema, make sure it's really cleaned out. They have to relax and not fight it. When they fight it is when bad things can happen, but if it's really clean, it's no big deal, nothing is going to surprise you. No smell, no mess, no problem.
For her, we have to drink a glass of wine, lots of foreplay. Get out some toys and play for a while, get her nice and horned up. LOTS of lube, that makes it easier. Start small and get her ass warmed up with toys and then gently slide it in. The first few minutes can be rough and if they fight it there is going to be more pain for her. But once they get loosened up it's just another hole to spread your seed. But once my GF has her first anal orgasm i have to stop and got back to her cooter, but that's fine with me.
Porn stars prepare themselves that way.
-
I do not understand the desire to plow a woman in the arsehole.
I’m not turned off by a female’s turd launcher; not at all. However, it is ... that ... and if you go rumbling within, there’s always a semi-decent chance there will be an “accident” of some type.
I simply can never take that chance. It would be a turn-off unlike almost anything else.
With a woman with whom I’m in love, the most action that’ll happen there is shallowly poking it with my finger and licking it once in a while.
;D
-
Typically they want to fast for 8-12 hours and clean out their ass with a water enema, make sure it's really cleaned out.
People really do this nonsense irl?most of the fun is the spontaneoutiy of it.
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I do not understand the desire to plow a woman in the arsehole.
I’m not turned off by a female’s turd launcher; not at all. However, it is ... that ... and if you go rumbling within, there’s always a semi-decent chance there will be an “accident” of some type.
I simply can never take that chance. It would be a turn-off unlike almost anything else.
With a woman with whom I’m in love, the most action that’ll happen there is shallowly poking it with my finger and licking it once in a while.
I’ve never understood it either, it’s some sort of negro or Jewish psych op. Either that or a subconscious homosexual desire to penetrate the ballon knot.
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People really do this nonsense irl?most of the fun is the spontaneoutiy of it.
Many countries have bidets or bidet spray guns.
Only using toilet paper is borderline Medieval in this modern era.
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Many countries have bidets or bidet spray guns.
Only using toilet paper is borderline Medieval in this modern era.
I agree.
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People really do this nonsense irl?most of the fun is the spontaneoutiy of it.
That's if you want to remove the chance of making a mess.
I have no problem going straight in, unprepped. It is a lot more fun that way.
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That's if you want to remove the chance of making a mess.
I have no problem going straight in, unprepped. It is a lot more fun that way.
Maybe you secretly desire the mess. :-X
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Maybe you secretly desire the mess. :-X
I just enjoy wild sex.
I could leave the ass behind and just go poontang no problem.
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I just enjoy wild sex.
I could leave the ass behind and just go poontang no problem.
You must not be married.
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I could leave the ass behind and just go poontang no problem.
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lol at the guys afraid of the cornpipe. I usually don't care about it but have had chicks who wanted me to fuck them in the ass. Nothing like bending a chick over and licking her up and down, pussy, ass, pussy, ass, pussy, ass up and down. When you stick you tongue in their asshole and their buttcheeks squeeze your face. It's awesome. Most of the time women that don't want it just feel gross down there. They're afraid you'll get a wiff of that earthiness and leave. I like hunting down there.
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I just enjoy wild sex.
I could leave the ass behind and just go poontang no problem.
(http://www.getbig.com/boards/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=671067.0;attach=1298491)
It's like Blue Steel becoming Magnum...The "Come Slither" look if you will... ;D
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It's like Blue Steel becoming Magnum...The "Come Slither" look if you will... ;D
;D
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You must not be married.
Nope, never have never will.
Well, maybe once i'm a crusty old man, but not anytime soon.
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Nope, never have never will.
Well, maybe once i'm a crusty old man, but not anytime soon.
Don't. Stick to your guns.
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lol at the guys afraid of the cornpipe. I usually don't care about it but have had chicks who wanted me to fuck them in the ass. Nothing like bending a chick over and licking her up and down, pussy, ass, pussy, ass, pussy, ass up and down. When you stick you tongue in their asshole and their buttcheeks squeeze your face. It's awesome. Most of the time women that don't want it just feel gross down there. They're afraid you'll get a wiff of that earthiness and leave. I like hunting down there.
(http://www.getbig.com/boards/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=671067.0;attach=1298492;image)
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Nope, never have never will.
Well, maybe once i'm a crusty old man, but not anytime soon.
Smart move. It is difficult to have a crazy sex life with a wife or live in girlfriend because you have to face them the next day. I imagine that it's pretty difficult discussing an article in The Wall Street Journal, eating oatmeal and drinking coffee, with the women that you did disgusting carnal shit with just a few hours before. :-[
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Smart move. It is difficult to have a crazy sex life with a wife or live in girlfriend because you have to face them the next day. I imagine that it's pretty difficult discussing an article in The Wall Street Journal, eating oatmeal and drinking coffee, with the women that you did disgusting carnal shit with just a few hours before. :-[
That's true, i typically try to date a girl for 2-3 months and then move on. Some last longer than that. But they have to understand a few rules like no living together, no meeting the family and i have zero interest in marriage. I'm not on social media and don't want pics of me posted there.
Most women are ok with this until about month 3 and that's when most of the time we break up. Or they start to try and withhold sex and that's not happening either. I tell them straight up about how sexually active we need to be.
They just have to be on board with the way i am. I'm very nice to them and treat them well. But the first sign of drama i'm done. I don't degrade them or anything, i play prince charming at all times. I'm just good at getting women to open up their inner slut in bed. I've had a lot of practice.
With online dating it is so easy to hookup if you know what to say and how to act, it's a game. But i'll admit most girls i hook up with are 6's or 7's with the occasional 8 mixed in.
My current GF and i have been together for almost a year. Only because she is very laid back and zero drama. But i know it's not going to last, she has been pushing to live together, which will not happen. Also talks about marriage a lot.
I'll be honest, sometimes after we drink a bit and have freaky sex, we wake up the next morning and look at each other a little weird. Mainly watching her pickup all her toys from all over the bedroom. I left a mark on her ass from spanking her, one of her girlfriends saw it when they were changing at the gym. ;D
We were at dinner with some of her friends and their husbands a few months back. One of the friends mentioned anal sex and they all had these disgusted looks on their faces. My GF was blushing and trying not to make eye contact with anyone for a few minutes.
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Women are great for sex. Beyond that they are unbearable past an hour a day or so. No surprise married guys get hobbies like ice fishing.
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It's like Blue Steel becoming Magnum...The "Come Slither" look if you will... ;D
I was certain someone would take the ball and run with it on this one..."It's like Blue Steel becoming...FAGNUM. The "Cum Slither" look if you will... ;D"
No offense to any and all concerned. I really thought someone would do that. I know...I can be quite sophomoric at times. ;)
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That's true, i typically try to date a girl for 2-3 months and then move on. Some last longer than that. But they have to understand a few rules like no living together, no meeting the family and i have zero interest in marriage. I'm not on social media and don't want pics of me posted there.
Most women are ok with this until about month 3 and that's when most of the time we break up. Or they start to try and withhold sex and that's not happening either. I tell them straight up about how sexually active we need to be.
They just have to be on board with the way i am. I'm very nice to them and treat them well. But the first sign of drama i'm done. I don't degrade them or anything, i play prince charming at all times. I'm just good at getting women to open up their inner slut in bed. I've had a lot of practice.
With online dating it is so easy to hookup if you know what to say and how to act, it's a game. But i'll admit most girls i hook up with are 6's or 7's with the occasional 8 mixed in.
My current GF and i have been together for almost a year. Only because she is very laid back and zero drama. But i know it's not going to last, she has been pushing to live together, which will not happen. Also talks about marriage a lot.
I'll be honest, sometimes after we drink a bit and have freaky sex, we wake up the next morning and look at each other a little weird. Mainly watching her pickup all her toys from all over the bedroom. I left a mark on her ass from spanking her, one of her girlfriends saw it when they were changing at the gym. ;D
We were at dinner with some of her friends and their husbands a few months back. One of the friends mentioned anal sex and they all had these disgusted looks on their faces. My GF was blushing and trying not to make eye contact with anyone for a few minutes.
Yes, be a master of the 90 day relationship. Great sex with no shit (unless you're into that).
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Smart move. It is difficult to have a crazy sex life with a wife or live in girlfriend because you have to face them the next day. I imagine that it's pretty difficult discussing an article in The Wall Street Journal, eating oatmeal and drinking coffee, with the women that you did disgusting carnal shit with just a few hours before. :-[
depends on what you mean by crazy. bringing in other people then yes I agree. I could never be with a chick who wants to do threesomes or shit. But 1-1, There is no issue being total fucking maniacs then next day being normal. Not sure why you'd find that so hard to do. Damn with my GF, the night before I'm fucking her with a finger up her ass, making her lick mine, sucking my balls, 69, upside down, on the ground, on the table, fucking on the balcony, go to sleep and next morning it's like nothing happened. Good morning, good morning, would you like a coffee? Yes. Cool. How does your work schedule look like today? A few meetings. okay.....
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depends on what you mean by crazy. bringing in other people then yes I agree. I could never be with a chick who wants to do threesomes or shit. But 1-1, There is no issue being total fucking maniacs then next day being normal. Not sure why you'd find that so hard to do. Damn with my GF, the night before I'm fucking her with a finger up her ass, making her lick mine, sucking my balls, 69, upside down, on the ground, on the table, fucking on the balcony, go to sleep and next morning it's like nothing happened. Good morning, good morning, would you like a coffee? Yes. Cool. How does your work schedule look like today? A few meetings. okay.....
How long have you been with your girlfriend? I doubt there are many old married couples doing wild shit. If you can keep going with that intensity, more power to you.
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How long have you been with your girlfriend? I doubt there are many old married couples doing wild shit. If you can keep going with that intensity, more power to you.
We are still waiting on this answer. He was with a perfect woman during the pandemic but hated her kid, hooked up with the flight attendants recently in this thread and is now talking about his girlfriend.
True Getbigger!
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We are still waiting on this answer. He was with a perfect woman during the pandemic but hated her kid, hooked up with the flight attendants recently in this thread and is now talking about his girlfriend.
True Getbigger!
:D I had forgotten about that.
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How long have you been with your girlfriend? I doubt there are many old married couples doing wild shit. If you can keep going with that intensity, more power to you.
As an older lifter, I tend to go for excellent form and use the briefest high-intensity approach possible, rather than high volume/frequency - always looking maximise the recovery period
...
Though I suppose it depends on your definition of 'wild sh1t' - I mean, we never have to wipe the walls down, or repair furniture... stuff like that
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As an older lifter, I tend to go for excellent form and use the briefest high-intensity approach possible, rather than high volume/frequency - always looking maximise the recovery period
...
Though I suppose it depends on your definition of 'wild sh1t' - I man, we never have to wipe the walls down, or repair furniture... stuff like that
The HIT style applied to sex. HIS (high intensity sex)
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The HIT style applied to sex. HIS (high intensity sex)
Exactly. I always take each session to failure. ;D
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Exactly. I always take each session to failure. ;D
Do you only workout once every two weeks?
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El Diablo Blanco seems to have a vivid imagination for this sort of thing.
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Women are great for sex. Beyond that they are unbearable past an hour a day or so. No surprise married guys get hobbies like ice fishing.
Not so. My gal tolerates my inane crap like a champ. A typical 3 coffee morning involves me complaining about her country, griping about humanity in general, relating some historical factoid usually involving Romans or Samurai in which she has never shown any interest, an intensive analysis of the coffee I'm drinking, and I'll usually shoehorn in my Best Of from the previous day's Getbig postings. "Sorry about bringing up Hitler again first thing in the morning" is actually a running joke.
It's the conversational equivalent of cactus ass rape except the guy doing it is somehow boring you while doing it. She's probably making posts like yours on Facegram or wherever chicks post.
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Do you only workout once every two weeks?
My current schedule is about once every 2 months or so
Trying to avoid overtraining ;)
;D
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Not so. My gal tolerates my inane crap like a champ. A typical 3 coffee morning involves me complaining about her country, griping about humanity in general, relating some historical factoid usually involving Romans or Samurai in which she has never shown any interest, an intensive analysis of the coffee I'm drinking, and I'll usually shoehorn in my Best Of from the previous day's Getbig postings. "Sorry about bringing up Hitler again first thing in the morning" is actually a running joke.
It's the conversational equivalent of cactus ass rape except the guy doing it is somehow boring you while doing it. She's probably making posts like yours on Facegram or wherever chicks post.
Have to agree - my Wife also has an unreasonably high tolerance of my juvenile BS. For example, I've lost count of the times I've 'forced' her to either pretend to compliment my stupid sh1tty picture alterations for Getbig, tested my cleverisms for similar reasons, asked her "is that a tranny/does she got a c0ck?", etc. or bored her sh1tless about SpaceX and other rocket-based interests (as opposed to Romans and Samurai ;D)
We both drink instant (albeit of a reasonable quality), so the coffee conversation is moot...
And yes, I have to pretend to be interested in her WhatsApp shenanigans in return, but I get the best end of the bargain, trust me...
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Have to agree - my Wife also has an unreasonably high tolerance of my juvenile BS. For example, I've lost count of the times I've 'forced' her to either pretend to compliment my stupid sh1tty picture alterations for Getbig, tested my cleverisms for similar reasons, asked her "is that a tranny/does she got a c0ck?", etc. or bored her sh1tless about SpaceX and other rocket-based interests (as opposed to Romans and Samurai ;D)
We both drink instant (albeit of a reasonable quality), so the coffee conversation is moot...
And yes, I have to pretend to be interested in her WhatsApp shenanigans in return, but I get the best end of the bargain, trust me...
I’m shocked by the “instant” confession. I always pictured you with a high end bean to cup solution.
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(https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Ftse2.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DOIP.ln6m7n49hzbTgTfbVPNTQAHaFj%26pid%3DApi&f=1)
It's fine. It's 2021. Different cultures do things in their own ways. I am not the arbiter of what is or is not barbarous savagery.
Espresso setups can be expensive and there's no call for it if you're not into it, but for under £100 you could have a french press and a burr grinder (not a blade grinder) that eats up minimal counter space and let's you enjoy the aromatics which whole beans have to offer. You'll never touch instant again, my indigenous friend.
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(https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Ftse2.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DOIP.ln6m7n49hzbTgTfbVPNTQAHaFj%26pid%3DApi&f=1)
It's fine. It's 2021. Different cultures do things in their own ways. I am not the arbiter of what is or is not barbarous savagery.
Espresso setups can be expensive and there's no call for it if you're not into it, but for under £100 you could have a french press and a burr grinder (not a blade grinder) that eats up minimal counter space and let's you enjoy the aromatics which whole beans have to offer. You'll never touch instant again, my indigenous friend.
His name....was Xfactor. ;)
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My current schedule is about once every 2 months or so
Trying to avoid overtraining ;)
;D
Static Contraction sex training.
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We both drink instant (albeit of a reasonable quality), so the coffee conversation is moot...
You talking to Tape about this is the greatest disparity on a topic between two posters in getbig history.
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I’m shocked by the “instant” confession. I always pictured you with a high end bean to cup solution.
Oh dear... I am known to wear cuff-links when the occasion suits - will that redeem me a little?
It's fine. It's 2021. Different cultures do things in their own ways. I am not the arbiter of what is or is not barbarous savagery.
Espresso setups can be expensive and there's no call for it if you're not into it, but for under £100 you could have a french press and a burr grinder (not a blade grinder) that eats up minimal counter space and let's you enjoy the aromatics which whole beans have to offer. You'll never touch instant again, my indigenous friend.
LOL @ 'barbarous savagery' ;D
You talking to Tape about this is the greatest disparity on a topic between two posters in getbig history.
Fellas
Who knew I'd be starting CoffeeGate with that confession? Sorry to disappoint, but in my defence I did flirt with a slightly more sophisticated setup as a younger man. Bought whole beans from a specialist store, ground to my liking, all that jazz. Sure, I then ruined it by putting it through a £50 percolator, but that was good going for the early '90s ;D
Now my only affectation is raw cane crystals (in before someone calls me out as a fat f*ck for adding sugar!)
Maybe I need to rethink exactly what is going into the home gym rebuild!
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I did flirt with a slightly more sophisticated setup as a younger man.
Outed
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I did flirt with a slightly more sophisticated setup as a younger man.
Inned!
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Outed
Again.
:-*
Inned!
Thanks Kwon :-*
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Nothing very noteworthy in Getbig terms, apart from the time the Swedish bikini team's bus had a flat tire in front of my house. After an hour with each of them, my bed finally broke.
I was pissed. I ran them off and threatened to call the cops on that fishy slitted lot if they didn't get that goddamned bus towed away.
Seriously though, I have been with some cool girls and enjoyed myself. The most unique sexual relationship was probably my first. I was 19; she was 37, married, mother of four. I think I mentioned this on Getbig before, actually.
The first time we had sex was in the back of her van, parked in the outer reaches of one of our expansive university's parking lots. It was raining heavily so we weren't too worried about getting caught. It was my first time using a condom as well. It was too tight and, as a newbie, I didn't know you're supposed to leave that little bit of the tip "free." And so, we screwed for awhile, and when we took a quick breather, out comes my pecker and a rubber that had popped :/
D'oH!
By that time, we were still so wound up that we didn't give a shit and got back to fucking. We did not worry much about potential pregnancy since she was still intimate with her abusive hubby*.
*That's how I justified the cheating. In the months leading up to the start of our affair, she told me all manner of stories about her husband being a despicable creature. I resisted for awhile but I was young, dumb and full of you know what. Plus, she was attractive in a librarian/school teacher way (ironic, since she went on to become the chair of a large county's high school English department). Think Rebecca Demornay circa mid 1980s.
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We both drink instant (albeit of a reasonable quality), so the coffee conversation is moot...
;D
I expected more from you good Sir.
But you have given just explanation.
I can overlook this.
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Nothing very noteworthy in Getbig terms, apart from the time the Swedish bikini team's bus had a flat tire in front of my house. After an hour with each of them, my bed finally broke.
I was pissed. I ran them off and threatened to call the cops on that fishy slitted lot if they didn't get that goddamned bus towed away.
Seriously though, I have been with some cool girls and enjoyed myself. The most unique sexual relationship was probably my first. I was 19; she was 37, married, mother of four. I think I mentioned this on Getbig before, actually.
The first time we had sex was in the back of her van, parked in the outer reaches of one of our expansive university's parking lots. It was raining heavily so we weren't too worried about getting caught. It was my first time using a condom as well. It was too tight and, as a newbie, I didn't know you're supposed to leave that little bit of the tip "free." And so, we screwed for awhile, and when we took a quick breather, out comes my pecker and a rubber that had popped :/
D'oH!
By that time, we were still so wound up that we didn't give a shit and got back to fucking. We did not worry much about potential pregnancy since she was still intimate with her abusive hubby*.
*That's how I justified the cheating. In the months leading up to the start of our affair, she told me all manner of stories about her husband being a despicable creature. I resisted for awhile but I was young, dumb and full of you know what. Plus, she was attractive in a librarian/school teacher way (ironic, since she went on to become the chair of a large county's high school English department). Think Rebecca Demornay circa mid 1980s.
I "almost" landed a smoking hot 35ish year old MILF when i was 20. We were actually messing around in her room when her kid came home early from school. Some chicks love a nice young stud to bang them. Next thing i know she's back with her husband, but she still gave me those eyes when i saw her.
I did bang a 48 year old when i was 30, she was still pretty and worked out a lot. Also she was half Asian so she had aged pretty well. Her husband was a complete asshole, but she wouldn't leave him. Just wanted sex no questions asked like twice a month. This went on for almost a year.
Hell i've slept with so many married women i surprised i haven't been hunted down and shot yet. ;D
I don't have a problem with it since these hoes are obviously doing it of their own free will. That's on their conscience, not mine.
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;D
I expected more from you good Sir.
But you have given just explanation.
I can overlook this.
Didn't realise how many people on here thought I was actually Pierce Brosnan or something LOL
(http://media.giphy.com/media/rdc2zBF6ihxZu/giphy.gif)
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I "almost" landed a smoking hot 35ish year old MILF when i was 20. We were actually messing around in her room when her kid came home early from school. Some chicks love a nice young stud to bang them. Next thing i know she's back with her husband, but she still gave me those eyes when i saw her.
I did bang a 48 year old when i was 30, she was still pretty and worked out a lot. Also she was half Asian so she had aged pretty well. Her husband was a complete asshole, but she wouldn't leave him. Just wanted sex no questions asked like twice a month. This went on for almost a year.
Hell i've slept with so many married women i surprised i haven't been hunted down and shot yet. ;D
I don't have a problem with it since these hoes are obviously doing it of their own free will. That's on their conscience, not mine.
This just reminded me of something - which proceeded to give me a shudder...
When I was 19, I had a one-off encounter with a married woman who I recall was 38 - so that's twice my age at the time - a 19 year age difference
If that were to happen today (with me being 51) - the woman would be 70...
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This just reminded me of something - which proceeded to give me a shudder...
When I was 19, I had a one-off encounter with a married woman who I recall was 38 - so that's twice my age at the time - a 19 year age difference
If that were to happen today (with me being 51) - the woman would be 70...
Taf is there anything you can do to make sure this encounter happens with the 70 year old? Just for research purposes, for the greater good of Getbig. The 70 year olds here are Basille and Prime and no offense to them, but I’m not interested in their sexual encounters.
I plan on being 70 and as a planner I need to know what the market will look like in the future.
Thanks in advance!
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This just reminded me of something - which proceeded to give me a shudder...
When I was 19, I had a one-off encounter with a married woman who I recall was 38 - so that's twice my age at the time - a 19 year age difference
If that were to happen today (with me being 51) - the woman would be 70...
She was double age so technically you'd need to hook up with a 102 year old.
Maybe Wes has some daughters or something..
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Didn't realise how many people on here thought I was actually Pierce Brosnan or something LOL
(http://media.giphy.com/media/rdc2zBF6ihxZu/giphy.gif)
I was hoping you were Pierce Taffin :D
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Only on getbig does a thread about sex and women turn into a big drama about instant coffee! :D
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Taf is there anything you can do to make sure this encounter happens with the 70 year old? Just for research purposes, for the greater good of Getbig. The 70 year olds here are Basille and Prime and no offense to them, but I’m not interested in their sexual encounters.
I plan on being 70 and as a planner I need to know what the market will look like in the future.
Thanks in advance!
Robots are in our future. At 70 you will be nailing things that look and feel like 20 year old super models.
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Only on getbig does a thread about sex and women turn into a big drama about instant coffee! :D
recently joined a dating site .1st time ever tried one very interesting,wacky,whatever else iN there .its like a chess game everyday its something ,you get some women you are like 'oh boy'and you dont respond to them thankfully.there are some hot women on there but everyone inc me has baggage,,,anyway met 1 been on a handful of dates with her pounded her veal cutlet a few times she's great in bed but a 5 alarm clinger too much attached to me i'm taking my time ,and looking at others there for now.
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Taf is there anything you can do to make sure this encounter happens with the 70 year old? Just for research purposes, for the greater good of Getbig. The 70 year olds here are Basille and Prime and no offense to them, but I’m not interested in their sexual encounters.
I plan on being 70 and as a planner I need to know what the market will look like in the future.
Thanks in advance!
Maybe when the lockdown eases, I'm finding them a bit jittery right now when I try to chat them up... ;D
:-X
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a. She was double age so technically you'd need to hook up with a 102 year old.
b. Maybe Wes has some daughters or something..
a. I'd need some lube and a defibrillator
b. LOL ;D
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Only on getbig does a thread about sex and women turn into a big drama about instant coffee! :D
And banging centenarians while dressed as James Bond
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recently joined a dating site .1st time ever tried one very interesting,wacky,whatever else iN there .its like a chess game everyday its something ,you get some women you are like 'oh boy'and you dont respond to them thankfully.there are some hot women on there but everyone inc me has baggage,,,anyway met 1 been on a handful of dates with her pounded her veal cutlet a few times she's great in bed but a 5 alarm clinger too much attached to me i'm taking my time ,and looking at others there for now.
Just enjoy it for what it is. Don't get caught up in the drama. Depending on where you live you will have thousands of options.
Have fun, don't act needy or emotional. Play hard to get a little, don't always be there for them.
Smash as much ass as you can, once you find one that is worth a shit, maybe start something real.
Never invite them to your house.
It's a game to be played, perfect your technique and bitches will be all over you.
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Just enjoy it for what it is. Don't get caught up in the drama. Depending on where you live you will have thousands of options.
Have fun, don't act needy or emotional. Play hard to get a little, don't always be there for them.
Smash as much ass as you can, once you find one that is worth a shit, maybe start something real.
Never invite them to your house.
It's a game to be played, perfect your technique and bitches will be all over you.
Dude I like everyone of those lines and that’s exactly what I’m doing but,,,,I did invite her by me cause her rental is a disaster I wouldn’t be caught dead there lol,,,
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her rental is a disaster
Bad, bad, bad sign...a woman's place should look better than yours.
Move on or that mess is moving in.
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You talking to Tape about this is the greatest disparity on a topic between two posters in getbig history.
Take up the coffee's burden,
And reap his old reward:
The blame of those ye better,
The hate of those ye guard--
The cry of hosts ye humour
(Ah, slowly!) toward the light: --
"Why brought ye us from bondage,
"Our loved freeze-dried shite?"
Not for me,
Not for he,
For benefit of
Posterity:
I shall civilize this Briton.
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Just enjoy it for what it is. Don't get caught up in the drama. Depending on where you live you will have thousands of options.
Have fun, don't act needy or emotional. Play hard to get a little, don't always be there for them.
Smash as much ass as you can, once you find one that is worth a shit, maybe start something real.
Never invite them to your house.
It's a game to be played, perfect your technique and bitches will be all over you.
Can you really find anything worth pursuing long term from a dating site? These women get hundreds of hits a day and do they even take their profile down when they meet someone they like? I'm sure they check back infrequently and see they have hundreds of new messages waiting for them, who knows how many dick pics etc... I've known about 5 people who thought they met their match, eventually got married and everyone of them a couple years later got divorced.
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Can you really find anything worth pursuing long term from a dating site?
easily. just go on enough dates
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Can you really find anything worth pursuing long term from a dating site? These women get hundreds of hits a day and do they even take their profile down when they meet someone they like? I'm sure they check back infrequently and see they have hundreds of new messages waiting for them, who knows how many dick pics etc... I've known about 5 people who thought they met their match, eventually got married and everyone of them a couple years later got divorced.
Depends on the site. Tinder is much different than Match or something similar. POF is just a waste of time.
Tinder is a meat market. 80% of the women on there are just looking for prince charming, the other 20% just want to get fucked. Most of the dudes are epic douchebags. I always hear nonstop about how terrible the guys are, no personality and can't have an intelligent conversation. Most girls will hide their profile in a real relationship, but i don't bother asking if they do, don't care.
That's why you have to set yourself apart. Talk to them differently, don't act like a fuck boi. Be charming and hard to get. Play a lead role, don't be a little bitch, act like "you" are the catch.
I've hooked up with dozens over the past 3-4 years. I actually met my GF on Tinder. She was the only girl i met that was worth my time, other than sex. She had actually stopped getting on the site and randomly checked her messages, mine stuck out to her. We had a few dates, some amazing sex and now we've been together for 10 months. But i have no plans on moving further in the relationship, once it falls apart, back on the site i go.
Women have it easy, but most guys are douche assemblies. All the girls complain about them. They don't want dick pics, they want a nice dinner and romance; someone they can trust.
I'm like Bruce Wayne on Tinder. I have two completely different sides, depending on how they act, i can play the game. :D
I have no interest in married. I just like to have sex with women.
I figured your just as likely to have a successful marriage this way than another? I have no idea, never been married. But i do know people who met successfully online.
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If they have no interest in dick pics why do they show nudes as well?
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If they have no interest in dick pics why do they show nudes as well?
I've never been asked for a dick pic.
I have been asked to video chat naked and stroke my wang, but i feel that is different considering it's mutual. ;)
Some girls are sloppy hoes. Will send you nudes very easily, also send you pictures of the ex's dick in their ass. These are NOT the ones you want to pursue. I remember this one girl i asked to see her body and she sent me like 20 pictures of her getting fucked. I asked if she was looking for sex or a boyfriend, she was looking for a serious relationship. Lots of weird people online, you have to be careful.
Find the decent girls with morals, and show them a good time.
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I've never been asked for a dick pic.
I have been asked to video chat naked and stroke my wang, but i feel that is different considering it's mutual. ;)
Some girls are sloppy hoes. Will send you nudes very easily, also send you pictures of the ex's dick in their ass. These are NOT the ones you want to pursue. I remember this one girl i asked to see her body and she sent me like 20 pictures of her getting fucked. I asked if she was looking for sex or a boyfriend, she was looking for a serious relationship. Lots of weird people online, you have to be careful.
Find the decent girls with morals, and show them a good time.
The decent girls with morals are not on Tinder.
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Some girls are sloppy hoes. Will send you nudes very easily, also send you pictures of the ex's dick in their ass. These are NOT the ones you want to pursue.
Great advice. Thanks. :D ;D
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The decent girls with morals are not on Tinder.
You've never used Tinder. ;D
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Good reply’s guys,,again for most part I’m ok,,,I take them out to nice places,8 like dinner out,the one I’m seeing sorta is a nice lady had bad divorce ,I’m laying like overload said I’m seeing her when I want .she wants more believe me but I’m not into it yet .I took another one out nothing we were equally same no chemistry .I’ll keep going :)
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I've never been asked for a dick pic.
I have been asked to video chat naked and stroke my wang, but i feel that is different considering it's mutual. ;)
Some girls are sloppy hoes. Will send you nudes very easily, also send you pictures of the ex's dick in their ass. These are NOT the ones you want to pursue. I remember this one girl i asked to see her body and she sent me like 20 pictures of her getting fucked. I asked if she was looking for sex or a boyfriend, she was looking for a serious relationship. Lots of weird people online, you have to be careful.
Find the decent girls with morals, and show them a good time.
Lol. I had one chick send me a photo with some dudes cum on her face. I asked her why would I find it attractive to see some other guys jizz on her face. Fact is it made me not want to ever touch her face. Some bitches are just nuts.
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Lol. I had one chick send me a photo with some dudes cum on her face. I asked her why would I find it attractive to see some other guys jizz on her face. Fact is it made me not want to ever touch her face. Some bitches are just nuts.
Less of a deal breaker than if she smoked.
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recently joined a dating site .1st time ever tried one very interesting,wacky,whatever else iN there .its like a chess game everyday its something ,you get some women you are like 'oh boy'and you dont respond to them thankfully.there are some hot women on there but everyone inc me has baggage,,,anyway met 1 been on a handful of dates with her pounded her veal cutlet a few times she's great in bed but a 5 alarm clinger too much attached to me i'm taking my time ,and looking at others there for now.
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When was the last time you got laid,,maybe Obama 1st term,,,😁
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Less of a deal breaker than if she smoked.
Just cigarettes? ;D
(https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fi.pinimg.com%2F236x%2F84%2F34%2F0c%2F84340c614a3049cf5dffdf2fad7b0f6a--smoke-pipe-smoking.jpg&f=1&nofb=1)
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Lol. I had one chick send me a photo with some dudes cum on her face. I asked her why would I find it attractive to see some other guys jizz on her face. Fact is it made me not want to ever touch her face. Some bitches are just nuts.
I had a date with a woman once who clearly lied about her weight. After the first date she sends me a text message that she wants to lick my nuts. I am usually a sucker for these sexual ones, but she was too fat so I had no interest in her.
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Just cigarettes? ;D
(https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fi.pinimg.com%2F236x%2F84%2F34%2F0c%2F84340c614a3049cf5dffdf2fad7b0f6a--smoke-pipe-smoking.jpg&f=1&nofb=1)
Especially cigarettes.
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Especially cigarettes.
If she smokes she pokes. Oral fixation, they love putting stuff in their mouths.
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I had a date with a woman once who clearly lied about her weight. After the first date she sends me a text message that she wants to lick my nuts. I am usually a sucker for these sexual ones, but she was too fat so I had no interest in her.
They ALL lie about their weight and use misleading pictures. I always expect them to be about 20-30 pounds heavier than they "Look". That's why i always ask to video chat with them before i meet them, they can't hide it so well that way. Always ask for more pictures too.
I met this 40 year old Mexican broad a couple years back, her pictures made her look about 120ish pounds and in good shape. When i first met her i didn't even recognize her because she was at least 160. :-\
Still hit it though. 8)
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Just cigarettes? ;D
(https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fi.pinimg.com%2F236x%2F84%2F34%2F0c%2F84340c614a3049cf5dffdf2fad7b0f6a--smoke-pipe-smoking.jpg&f=1&nofb=1)
I'd love to nail a chick who smoked a pipe.
That's a classy broad right there. ;D
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They ALL lie about their weight and use misleading pictures. I always expect them to be about 20-30 pounds heavier than they "Look". That's why i always ask to video chat with them before i meet them, they can't hide it so well that way. Always ask for more pictures too.
I met this 40 year old Mexican broad a couple years back, her pictures made her look about 120ish pounds and in good shape. When i first met her i didn't even recognize her because she was at least 160. :-\
Still hit it though. 8)
Nailed a 160-pounder, eh? Not bad... but prolly time for another Taffin confession:
Just did the calc to turn it into US figures - I once harpooned a 203 pound Big Mike Cox special - very low cottage cheese factor, and it was the legit KK titonas that sealed the deal... :P
She couldn't have been more eager to please - had the time of my life (cooked a mean breakfast too - go figure!) ;D
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I'd love to nail a chick who smoked a pipe.
That's a classy broad right there. ;D
Just be careful, it can have negative side-effects... this chick is only 38...
(https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Fak.picdn.net%2Foffset%2Fphotos%2F5491d277a6dfde507e9fc7f7%2Fmedium%2Fphoto.jpg&f=1&nofb=1)
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??? Would not hit.
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Nailed a 160-pounder, eh? Not bad... but prolly time for another Taffin confession:
Just did the calc to turn it into US figures - I once harpooned a 203 pound Big Mike Cox special - very low cottage cheese factor, and it was the legit KK titonas that sealed the deal... :P
She couldn't have been more eager to please - had the time of my life (cooked a mean breakfast too - go figure!) ;D
Dude! Fat chicks and single mothers are the best at pleasing you. They will literally do anything! I used to push the limits of what they would accept, see how far they were willing to go. I was shocked at the results. I could have totally had a few Rocko "iz only smelz" moments if i tried, but i couldn't do that. I do have "some" sort on conscience. :D
I've done a few "moby dick" adventures over the years. ;)
Not sure i've eclipsed 200 lbs but pretty damn close.
But she was tall, and had a pretty face. ;D
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Dude! Fat chicks and single mothers are the best at pleasing you. They will literally do anything! I used to push the limits of what they would accept, see how far they were willing to go. I was shocked at the results. I could have totally had a few Rocko "iz only smelz" moments if i tried, but i couldn't do that. I do have "some" sort on conscience. :D
I've done a few "moby dick" adventures over the years. ;)
Not sure i've eclipsed 200 lbs but pretty damn close.
But she was tall, and had a pretty face. ;D
:D
For reference, she was about 5'4" so had a body shape like one of those basketball ladies Kwon found for me :P
We both know there is uglyfat - shapeless cottage cheese assed legged bad skinned barrel chested nail-biting zero tit pigs that conduct themselves with the stink of desperation while blowing guys in the corner of the bar...
And notsouglyfat - breathtaking cannons and bubble butted good skin hair and make-up (was pretty 100lbs ago sort of thing) well dressed carry themselves with some class, etc.
;)
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Dude! Fat chicks and single mothers are the best at pleasing you. They will literally do anything! I used to push the limits of what they would accept, see how far they were willing to go. I was shocked at the results. I could have totally had a few Rocko "iz only smelz" moments if i tried, but i couldn't do that. I do have "some" sort on conscience. :D
I've done a few "moby dick" adventures over the years. ;)
Not sure i've eclipsed 200 lbs but pretty damn close.
But she was tall, and had a pretty face. ;D
This^ Single mothers are looking for a life raft to save them from poor choices. Fat chicks just want to feel wanted.
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This^ Single mothers are looking for a life raft to save them from poor choices. Fat chicks just want to feel wanted.
I never feel gross about myself when I fuck a single mlm but I do every time I fuck a cellulite fat bitch.
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Less of a deal breaker than if she smoked.
Heh...I knew you'd say that. We've had that conversation before :)
As I see it, if you rule out the smokers, you basically rule out the majority of hot women because they generally smoke like fiends.
It sucks, but such is the way :/
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This^ Single mothers are looking for a life raft to save them from poor choices. Fat chicks just want to feel wanted.
Disagree in my travels more times than the single mom has her shit together cause she’s use to caring for more than one person. They usually are looking for company and or sex the money is usually right even tho half the time that’s cause of child support. Personally I wouldn’t settle for a single mom unless u bring kids to the table as well
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Lots of Dungeons and Dragons in this thread.
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Disagree in my travels more times than the single mom has her shit together cause she’s use to caring for more than one person. They usually are looking for company and or sex the money is usually right even tho half the time that’s cause of child support. Personally I wouldn’t settle for a single mom unless u bring kids to the table as well
You will always be very low on her list of priorities.
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Lots of Dungeons and Dragons in this thread.
Based on your own sexual experiences at what point does a tale become unbelievable fantasy? Sex with a consenting female where no money changes hands??
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Based on your own sexual experiences at what point does a tale become unbelievable fantasy? Sex with a consenting female where no money changes hands??
Tell me a tale where having sex with a consenting female, does not involve money.
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Tell me a tale where having sex with a consenting female, does not involve money.
You and your sister?
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You and your sister?
She only takes money orders.
Old school.
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She only takes money orders.
Old school.
Same as you and your Dad.
I guess those cocks down in Florida won’t suck themselves.
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Tell me a tale where having sex with a consenting female, does not involve money.
Why aren’t you posting one of your crazy experiences “waking” up disoriented with a mans genitalia in your mouth, instead of trying to derail this topic?
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“Strawman flew out the next day. I was at my lowest, he was at his neediest, and we clung to each other with abandon. We talked at length about how much we had come to rely on each other, how our health and well-being seemed dependent on the love we’d grown to share.”
-LurkingHomo
(Excerpt from his Wedding Planner/Diary)
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They ALL lie about their weight and use misleading pictures.
When I told this fat woman I didn't want to go on a second date, she got angry and said: "You will regret when I lose weight".
I looked at her facebook profile 10 years later and she was still a fat fuck. I was clearly missing out :D
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When I told this fat woman I didn't want to go on a second date, she got angry and said: "You will regret when I lose weight".
I looked at her facebook profile 10 years later and she was still a fat fuck. I was clearly missing out :D
You should have messaged her and said "still no regrets."
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When I told this fat woman I didn't want to go on a second date, she got angry and said: "You will regret when I lose weight".
I looked at her facebook profile 10 years later and she was still a fat fuck. I was clearly missing out :D
Even if she got skinny all of that loose skin would be so disgusting. Sometimes they're better off staying fat
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Even if she got skinny all of that loose skin would be so disgusting. Sometimes they're better off staying fat
She has a decent face. I could have face fucked her, I guess.
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Even if she got skinny all of that loose skin would be so disgusting. Sometimes they're better off staying fat
OK, I know I'm a hard-core fat-shamer, so I need to carefully qualify what I am about to say here
Women
Yes, some women 'suit' being chubby, as long as they have massive titonas, excellent hygiene and outstanding Wife skills
Cougars (esp. post-menopausal) are good to go - raw, no pullout (and they can usually cook)
Men
Some men are allowed the Belushi party-bod as long as it goes with a charismatic personality and doesn't shorten their lives
Pot-bellied old rich guys banging supermodels is just anti-Darwinism
She has a decent face. I could have face fucked her, I guess.
And they say romance is dead... ;D
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When I told this fat woman I didn't want to go on a second date, she got angry and said: "You will regret when I lose weight".
I looked at her facebook profile 10 years later and she was still a fat fuck. I was clearly missing out :D
Haha! Just like all the fat whores i've nailed were on "Keto", but didn't work out. ::)
I ended up seeing this one broad for a few months, she was big but nothing disgusting. Huge DD's and a nice thick ass, not much cottage cheese. Absolutely amazing in bed, no boundaries.
She asked me if i thought she was fat one night, i told her she was thick in the right places, but should start working out to "firm" up a bit. She got really upset, i could see in her eyes i had touched a nerve.
Then she shows me pictures from College, said she played volley ball. She was super proud of them, but she looked exactly the same. ;D
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Even if she got skinny all of that loose skin would be so disgusting. Sometimes they're better off staying fat
Very true! They are better off keeping most of the weight.
I have to admit i like thick women, but the loose floppy skin on a single mother is a huge turn off. This one broad was a dark skinned latina, pretty face, great tits and ass. But her stomach area was grotesque, i mean it was so nasty i had to bang her from behind just to stay into it. Almost lost me boner. Only slept with her once, but damn, with clothes on she was smoking hot.
She always wore those compressive under garments. But once i peeled them off it was shocking. She had two kids and i guess because she was so small it really messed up her skin.