Tell us about your experiences with sex and women

[ThisisOverload]

I had a date with a woman once who clearly lied about her weight. After the first date she sends me a text message that she wants to lick my nuts. I am usually a sucker for these sexual ones, but she was too fat so I had no interest in her.

They ALL lie about their weight and use misleading pictures. I always expect them to be about 20-30 pounds heavier than they "Look". That's why i always ask to video chat with them before i meet them, they can't hide it so well that way. Always ask for more pictures too.

I met this 40 year old Mexican broad a couple years back, her pictures made her look about 120ish pounds and in good shape. When i first met her i didn't even recognize her because she was at least 160.

Still hit it though.

[ThisisOverload]

Just cigarettes? 

I'd love to nail a chick who smoked a pipe.

That's a classy broad right there.

[Taffin]

They ALL lie about their weight and use misleading pictures. I always expect them to be about 20-30 pounds heavier than they "Look". That's why i always ask to video chat with them before i meet them, they can't hide it so well that way. Always ask for more pictures too.

I met this 40 year old Mexican broad a couple years back, her pictures made her look about 120ish pounds and in good shape. When i first met her i didn't even recognize her because she was at least 160.

Still hit it though.

Nailed a 160-pounder, eh?  Not bad... but prolly time for another Taffin confession:

Just did the calc to turn it into US figures - I once harpooned a 203 pound Big Mike Cox special - very low cottage cheese factor, and it was the legit KK titonas that sealed the deal...

She couldn't have been more eager to please - had the time of my life (cooked a mean breakfast too - go figure!) 

[Taffin]

I'd love to nail a chick who smoked a pipe.

That's a classy broad right there.

Just be careful, it can have negative side-effects... this chick is only 38...

[Humble Narcissist]

   Would not hit.

[ThisisOverload]

Nailed a 160-pounder, eh?  Not bad... but prolly time for another Taffin confession:

Just did the calc to turn it into US figures - I once harpooned a 203 pound Big Mike Cox special - very low cottage cheese factor, and it was the legit KK titonas that sealed the deal...

She couldn't have been more eager to please - had the time of my life (cooked a mean breakfast too - go figure!) 

Dude! Fat chicks and single mothers are the best at pleasing you. They will literally do anything! I used to push the limits of what they would accept, see how far they were willing to go. I was shocked at the results. I could have totally had a few Rocko "iz only smelz" moments if i tried, but i couldn't do that. I do have "some" sort on conscience. 

I've done a few "moby dick" adventures over the years.

Not sure i've eclipsed 200 lbs but pretty damn close.

But she was tall, and had a pretty face.

[Taffin]

Dude! Fat chicks and single mothers are the best at pleasing you. They will literally do anything! I used to push the limits of what they would accept, see how far they were willing to go. I was shocked at the results. I could have totally had a few Rocko "iz only smelz" moments if i tried, but i couldn't do that. I do have "some" sort on conscience. 

I've done a few "moby dick" adventures over the years.

Not sure i've eclipsed 200 lbs but pretty damn close.

But she was tall, and had a pretty face.

 

For reference, she was about 5'4" so had a body shape like one of those basketball ladies Kwon found for me 

We both know there is uglyfat - shapeless cottage cheese assed legged bad skinned barrel chested nail-biting zero tit pigs that conduct themselves with the stink of desperation while blowing guys in the corner of the bar...

And notsouglyfat - breathtaking cannons and bubble butted good skin hair and make-up (was pretty 100lbs ago sort of thing) well dressed carry themselves with some class, etc.

[Humble Narcissist]

Dude! Fat chicks and single mothers are the best at pleasing you. They will literally do anything! I used to push the limits of what they would accept, see how far they were willing to go. I was shocked at the results. I could have totally had a few Rocko "iz only smelz" moments if i tried, but i couldn't do that. I do have "some" sort on conscience. 

I've done a few "moby dick" adventures over the years.

Not sure i've eclipsed 200 lbs but pretty damn close.

But she was tall, and had a pretty face.

This^  Single mothers are looking for a life raft to save them from poor choices.  Fat chicks just want to feel wanted.

[El Diablo Blanco]

This^  Single mothers are looking for a life raft to save them from poor choices.  Fat chicks just want to feel wanted.

I never feel gross about myself when I fuck a single mlm but I do every time I fuck a cellulite fat bitch.

[Titus Pullo]

Less of a deal breaker than if she smoked.

Heh...I knew you'd say that.  We've had that conversation before

As I see it, if you rule out the smokers, you basically rule out the majority of hot women because they generally smoke like fiends. 

It sucks, but such is the way :/

[POB]

This^  Single mothers are looking for a life raft to save them from poor choices.  Fat chicks just want to feel wanted.

Disagree in my travels more times than the single mom has her shit together cause she’s use to caring for more than one person. They usually are looking for company and or sex the money is usually right even tho half the time that’s cause of child support. Personally I wouldn’t settle for a single mom unless u bring kids to the table as well

[King Shizzo]

Lots of Dungeons and Dragons in this thread.

[Humble Narcissist]

Disagree in my travels more times than the single mom has her shit together cause she’s use to caring for more than one person. They usually are looking for company and or sex the money is usually right even tho half the time that’s cause of child support. Personally I wouldn’t settle for a single mom unless u bring kids to the table as well

You will always be very low on her list of priorities.

[Henda]

Lots of Dungeons and Dragons in this thread.

Based on your own sexual experiences at what point does a tale become unbelievable fantasy? Sex with a consenting female where no money changes hands??

[King Shizzo]

Based on your own sexual experiences at what point does a tale become unbelievable fantasy? Sex with a consenting female where no money changes hands??

Tell me a tale where having sex with a consenting female, does not involve money.

[Les Grossman]

Tell me a tale where having sex with a consenting female, does not involve money.

You and your sister?

[King Shizzo]

You and your sister?

She only takes money orders.
Old school.

[Les Grossman]

She only takes money orders.
Old school.

Same as you and your Dad.

I guess those cocks down in Florida won’t suck themselves.

[Dave D]

Tell me a tale where having sex with a consenting female, does not involve money.

Why aren’t you posting one of your crazy experiences “waking” up disoriented with a mans genitalia in your mouth, instead of trying to derail this topic?

[Les Grossman]

“Strawman flew out the next day. I was at my lowest, he was at his neediest, and we clung to each other with abandon. We talked at length about how much we had come to rely on each other, how our health and well-being seemed dependent on the love we’d grown to share.”

-LurkingHomo
(Excerpt from his Wedding Planner/Diary)

[FitnessFrenzy]

They ALL lie about their weight and use misleading pictures.

When I told this fat woman I didn't want to go on a second date, she got angry and said: "You will regret when I lose weight".

I looked at her facebook profile 10 years later and she was still a fat fuck. I was clearly missing out 

[Humble Narcissist]

When I told this fat woman I didn't want to go on a second date, she got angry and said: "You will regret when I lose weight".

I looked at her facebook profile 10 years later and she was still a fat fuck. I was clearly missing out 

You should have messaged her and said "still no regrets."

[El Diablo Blanco]

When I told this fat woman I didn't want to go on a second date, she got angry and said: "You will regret when I lose weight".

I looked at her facebook profile 10 years later and she was still a fat fuck. I was clearly missing out 

Even if she got skinny all of that loose skin would be so disgusting.  Sometimes they're better off staying fat

[FitnessFrenzy]

Even if she got skinny all of that loose skin would be so disgusting.  Sometimes they're better off staying fat

She has a decent face. I could have face fucked her, I guess.

[Taffin]

Even if she got skinny all of that loose skin would be so disgusting.  Sometimes they're better off staying fat

OK, I know I'm a hard-core fat-shamer, so I need to carefully qualify what I am about to say here

Women
Yes, some women 'suit' being chubby, as long as they have massive titonas, excellent hygiene and outstanding Wife skills
Cougars (esp. post-menopausal) are good to go - raw, no pullout (and they can usually cook)

Men
Some men are allowed the Belushi party-bod as long as it goes with a charismatic personality and doesn't shorten their lives
Pot-bellied old rich guys banging supermodels is just anti-Darwinism

She has a decent face. I could have face fucked her, I guess.

And they say romance is dead...