Less superficial, more intellectual = Less shoe talk, more deep thought. DIV
Both can be done very adequately without compromise to one or the other, Division. A person just has to understand who his or her audience is and then play to that. The best conversationalist can flip channels of topics with no trouble at all.
I watched Enduring Love, with Daniel Craig, last night. I would have to say this wasn't necessarily the best movie but definitely intriguing enough to keep me up on a Friday night. It's based upon a novel about a freak balloon accident and the events that occur in a professor's life after he makes a split, subconscious decision during that accident.
Anyway, this professor (Daniel Craig) teaches his students that love is biological. We don't control it. We just act on it. Everything regarding love occurs for the simple sake of procreation and survival of the species. I don't buy the whole package of that thought process, but I do find some inkling of truth to it. If you examine the first six months of a relationship versus the remaining years (or days, depending upon how short-lived the romance is), you find a huge difference in the surge of hormones and the eventual deflation of them. Many relationships reach the breaking point at the six month mark, which is supposedly when a person stops creating fiction and starts bringing reality to the relationship.
I have been in love. More than once. One time in college...twice since then. All times have failed, so I have to wonder about love. Is it something to be recycled? Washed and worn again? It feels almost like a Tupperware container. You can use it only so many times before you must throw it away. So, how many times do you put your heart through the process? And how long must you scrub to get rid of the dirt from the previous "love" affair? And when do you throw your hands up and say, "This is trash. I'm better off without this."?
I haven't been in love in two years. It's taken that long to recover from what I went through. I step gently now and am very aware of my own instincts and trust that inner voice of mine so much more than I had in the past. Actually, I ignored it in the past. I won't let anyone damage me again. And I don't mean that in the same way I did a year ago...as in the form of a freezing cold, brick wall. It now comes neatly and warmly packaged as self respect.
I think that one has to remember that the initial stages of love are lust and infatuation. You have to move through those and look at your partner in a clear light and accept them--cracks and all--before you know if it's true love. And if you consciously allow someone's "cracks" to break your soul or your heart, then maybe this isn't healthy love but instead a sense of codependence and an avoidance of looking within and fixing/loving yourself.
