If you knew a good friend was being beaten/abused by her BF/SO...

[BLAIN]

I think what Blain posted on that other thread is often true. Sometimes people just bring out the worst in each other and end up feeding off it, but then when the dust settles, they wonder how they ever got into that situation in the first place.

exactly.  it's unfortunate, but the better half, should be bringing out the best in you.  it's very hard when your mate only see's the negatives in everything.  someone that knows and wants to push your buttons.  someone that makes you feel like a second rate citizen and not putting you on the pedestal you deserve in the relationship.

[BayGBM]

A couple weeks ago, my sister in law and I were hanging out alone.  During the dinner conversation, she slipped and made reference to her previously abusive boyfriend.  Since our drama a few months ago, I advised her never to see him again.  I knew she was still seeing him and keeping it a secret from us; when she slipped and made reference to him it was all I could do to hold my tongue.

But I did. I ignored it and did not go there.

I’m gonna see her again soon and I know she is still seeing this guy;  don’t ask me how, it’s just a feeling I have.

Ladies, should I try to do anything about this?  Remember, a few months ago this guy beat her up and put her in the hospital! 

[drkaje]

A couple weeks ago, my sister in law and I were hanging out alone.  During the dinner conversation, she slipped and made reference to her previously abusive boyfriend.  Since our drama a few months ago, I advised her never to see him again.  I knew she was still seeing him and keeping it a secret from us; when she slipped and made reference to him it was all I could do to hold my tongue.

But I did. I ignored it and did not go there.

I’m gonna see her again soon and I know she is still seeing this guy;  don’t ask me how, it’s just a feeling I have.

Ladies, should I try to do anything about this?  Remember, a few months ago this guy beat her up and put her in the hospital! 

Dude,

You can't make people think right. If he was dissappeared today she'd go find another guy just like him. There won't be a change until she's ready.

[Laura Lee]

A couple weeks ago, my sister in law and I were hanging out alone.  During the dinner conversation, she slipped and made reference to her previously abusive boyfriend.  Since our drama a few months ago, I advised her never to see him again.  I knew she was still seeing him and keeping it a secret from us; when she slipped and made reference to him it was all I could do to hold my tongue.

But I did. I ignored it and did not go there.

I’m gonna see her again soon and I know she is still seeing this guy;  don’t ask me how, it’s just a feeling I have.

Ladies, should I try to do anything about this?  Remember, a few months ago this guy beat her up and put her in the hospital! 

Ask her if she feel his "love" (or lack there of it) is worth the bruises she get from him and also ask her if she would have children with a man who has no hesitation of putting her in a hospital by beating her. 

[Butterbean]

If you've already talked to her about how she doesn't deserve this treatment, she'd be better off w/o him etc....seems like all you can really do is tell her you are available to help her when she needs it.

[trab]

Keep up a nice collection of evidence on the bastard. Dont get yourself in trouble.
Way to often today the guys who is right ends up in big trouble. Its amazing how twisted reality gets on police reports.

[Samourai Pizzacat]

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=576_1174529756

Dont click this if you cant handle some severe rage.
This video of a big Chicago area cop beating up a small woman bartender is sickening.
Before you get down on the bystanders, I believe the guy was armed.

Ok, besides possible armament there's 2 processes at work in these situation:

bystander effect: lots of people watching, no one does something, because there's so many people the responsibility is 'shared' or spread out, with only a few people around there's more sense of responsibility to act.

lack of example: People in such cases are not sure what to do, and tend to do what other people are doing, usually nothing in such.

best thing to do as victim is to make eye contact with a bystander and shout for help, but be specific; help, he's assaulting me, get him of me.

Although you think that's stating the obvious, it works, the situation isn't ambiguous anymore, and the yecontact helps to make a bystander feel he has a responsibility. As bystander, try to get some people to help you and get at it.

back on topic, I've fortunately never experienced such a thing, only heard of it.
it's like teenagers sometimes, you wonder why in god's earth they do such stupid and dangerous things. The only thing you can do is hope that they will see the light and grow out of it. You can tell someone how you feel about it but be careful, they tend to have a strong bond with their abusive spouse so it might backfire.

(good song about this is Antony and the Johnsons 'Fistfull of love' :
 
   
I was lying in my bed last night staring
At a ceiling full of stars
When it suddenly hit me
I just have to let you know how I feel
We live together in a photograph of time
I look into your eyes
And the seas open up to me
I tell you I love you
And I always will
And I know you can't tell me
I know you can't tell me

So I'm left to pick up
The hints, the little symbols of your devotion
So I'm left to pick up
The hints, the little symbols of your devotion

And I feel your fists
And I know it's out of love
And I feel the whip
And I know it's out of love
And I feel your burning eyes burning holes
Straight through my heart
It's out of love
It's out of love

I accept and I collect upon my body
The memories of your devotion
I accept and I collect upon by body
The memories of your devotion

And I feel your fists
And I know it's out of love
And I feel the whip
And I know it's out of love
And I feel your burning eyes burning holes
Straight through my heart
It's out of love, ooh hoo
It's out of love

Give me a little bit serious love
Give me a little full love
Be full of love

Fists, fists, fists full of love...

[Laura Lee]

Face Down by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

Hey girl you know you drive me crazy
one look puts the rhythm in my hand.
Still I'll never understand why you hang around
I see what's going down.

Cover up with make up in the mirror
tell yourself it's never gonna happen again
you cry alone and then he swears he loves you.

Do you feel like a man
when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
as your lies crumble down, a new life she has found.

A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect
every action in this world will bear a consequence
If you wade around forever you will surely drown
I see what's going down.

I see the way you go and say your right again,
say your right again
heed my lecture

<a href="http://www.lyricsmania.com/lyrics/red_jumpsuit_apparatus_the_lyrics_8901/dont_you_fake_it_lyrics_29363/face_down_lyrics_319873.html" title="Face Down Lyrics">Face Down Lyrics</a>
Do you feel like a man
when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
as your lies crumble down a new life she has.

Face down in the dirt she says, this doesn't hurt she says I finally had enough..

Face down in the dirt she says, this doesn't hurt she says I finally had enough..

One day she will tell you that she has had enough
its coming round again.

Do you feel like a man, when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
as your lies crumble down, a new life she has.

Do you feel like a man, when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
as your lies crumble down, a new life she has.

Face down in the dirt she says, this doesn't hurt she says I finally had enough..

[Hustle Man]

what would you do?  Stay out of it? Call the cops? Or try to talk her into leaving? And what if getting involved might put you in danger too?

Physical or verbal abuse should never be tolerated!

My question to the Getbig women? Why do women stick around and endure so much abuse. I can't understand why these women won't leave after the first occurence (physical abuse)! My mom endured the same for years even after we (the children were out of the house on our own) told her to leave she stayed until he almost killed her and even then she almost went back to him after he attempted to apologized!

I hate cowards (women abusers)!

I can fix this problem email me