Holy shit Swede I give you huge props you are wiser than your years.
A few comments about what you posted, If you read what you posted Its all about other people, Grandkids, former flirts, friends you havent seen, I believe that will motive you a bit but Im gonna be honest with you and I DONT think that is whats gonna get you in shape, you really REALLY have to decide to do it for yourself and see all other things as a Bonus.
Another major tip is LOG EVERYTHING. What you eat, what you do in the gym, your weight, your measurements, reps, sets, etc etc.
A big strong guy liek yourself would probably initially think "logging stuff in the gym is for pussies" But Its not. Its a HUGE motivational booster.
And thats Exactly what You need.
Having your logbook besides you while training back and looking at what you did for back the last week is like having a partner beside you.
make a promise to yourself that Always improve. If you're just lifting heavier do one more rep at the set before the last set or something. Always improve. That way when you go to sleep at night you KNOW you have improved and you should feel better about yourself.
When something is hard your mind is villingly or unvilligly looking for excuses. Thats why all your combacks has ended up like they have. When you have a setback you woudl think "well maby I should rest then" "well maby this is my body telling me something" bla bla bla.
I can promise you Keith the setbacks you have had after your spider bite Isnt big enough setbacks REALLY to stop you from training/dieting. I dont even know your setbacks but I feel like if you really think about it Im right.
The only thing that can stop you from eating healthy if probably breaking your jaw in 5 different places and Im pretty sure that hasn't happened.
Another thing I wanna point out it that self entitlement can be both a Good thing and a fucking curse. In your mind right now its probably mostly a curse.
Right now when you look in the mirror you're not happy. But then your mind probably goes into safe mode and you start thinking back to what you have all the great experiences you have had in life which infact can make you think well "I have already done more in my lifetime your average 10 people combined will do in theirs why should I bust my ass and try to get back in shape?"
Thats once again your mind playing tricks on you.
And thats also a way for your mind to make ypu happy again, and push aside the reality of which you are facing TODAY.
Do you feel like you deserve to get back in shape keith?
Let me try it, what if I say this
Keith, you have disrespected this gift we call LIFE. You abused yourself with food and have Not taken care of yourself, you dont even deserve to become fit again because of the choised you have made latley.
when you read that what do you feel? Your mind goes back into safe mode huh? "What the fuck has he done compared to what I have done?!"
I fell as When you
stop pushing reality to the side and when you stop having your subconsciousness doing the same thing. You will finally get back into shape. Until then, you will have burts of success but you will always end back to where you were.
Its All in your mind, 
And I know it can be hard for a 40+ yr old man to take advices from a 21yr old kid. But the smartest thing you can do in live is to have an open mind.
