Author Topic: what do I do. Kid isn't mine.  (Read 30661 times)

lyquid

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Re: what do I do. Kid isn't mine.
« Reply #100 on: December 05, 2011, 08:35:10 AM »
I will be reading these alot. I need to look out for myself I kow. I honestly feel like I'm walking out on my ow child tho. It hasn't processed yet she's not my kid. Its hard to think it. I feel horrible thinkin of leaving but I have to for my health

you get given a falsehood and accept it for a year .... when you learn the truth do you keep living with the lie ?

or do you act like you are worthy of more and remove yourself from a situation that is bound to deteriorate ?

The bitch WROTE a letter to the kids father and SAID .. I will ALWAYS love you .. are you so thick to think you matter ?

You're a meal ticket .. and the baby will NEVER remember you if you go now to save your own self respect


but you go ahead and wait .. then when this bitch gets knocked up again you can go through this all over

Natural Man

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Re: what do I do. Kid isn't mine.
« Reply #101 on: December 05, 2011, 08:35:31 AM »
What will happen if you leave her?

She ll be forced to get back with the real father. Or she ll be a single mom looking for several other weak minded gullible men to backstab, one after another, all before the eyes of her own kid. I have no doubt the real father must be an utter loser himself. Quite the genes this poor creature inherited.

It's still preferable tho for the kid, as cruel as it sounds, than anything else.


Palpatine Q

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Re: what do I do. Kid isn't mine.
« Reply #102 on: December 05, 2011, 08:36:26 AM »
Leave now and don't look back and you will save a lot of money, time and lawyers fees for domestic violence down the road.

this is actually spot on....this AIN"T gonna get any better...take a manageable hit now...then a life crushing one later..walk away

lyquid

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Re: what do I do. Kid isn't mine.
« Reply #103 on: December 05, 2011, 08:38:24 AM »
for people who didt see this n wonder why I'm scared to leave.

kids farther has a kid of his ow on the way n a soon to be wife. They live opposite side of the country! N he wants othing to do with the kid or her. The kid has no farther. Not that its my problem anymore. But my mind hasn't processed she's not mine I feel yet n I feel like she is. N I feel like I'm leaving my kid ... I feel horrible.

but I know I need to keep my own mental health here n let her find a new dad.

wes

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Re: what do I do. Kid isn't mine.
« Reply #104 on: December 05, 2011, 08:44:12 AM »
for people who didt see this n wonder why I'm scared to leave.

kids farther has a kid of his ow on the way n a soon to be wife. They live opposite side of the country! N he wants othing to do with the kid or her. The kid has no farther. Not that its my problem anymore. But my mind hasn't processed she's not mine I feel yet n I feel like she is. N I feel like I'm leaving my kid ... I feel horrible.

but I know I need to keep my own mental health here n let her find a new dad.
Dude,you are co-dependant,I used to be the same way too,but my motto these days is

"Don`t let the door hit ya` where the good lord split ya"!!

Do yourself a favor and leave,if you have nothing else going for you,and are miserable in your relationship,you`re fucked.

You only get one life,there is no dress rehearsal,this is it............are you happy?

If not at least remotely content in life,leave now and start over and save yourself some future pain with this broad because that`s all you`re gonna` get!!

Good luck in whatever you decide to do,but think hard about your happiness first of all.

Palpatine Q

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Re: what do I do. Kid isn't mine.
« Reply #105 on: December 05, 2011, 08:44:18 AM »
for people who didt see this n wonder why I'm scared to leave.

kids farther has a kid of his ow on the way n a soon to be wife. They live opposite side of the country! N he wants othing to do with the kid or her. The kid has no farther. Not that its my problem anymore. But my mind hasn't processed she's not mine I feel yet n I feel like she is. N I feel like I'm leaving my kid ... I feel horrible.

but I know I need to keep my own mental health here n let her find a new dad.

It's a tough spot indeed...but the only reason you feel this way is because you were lied to from day one about the kid. Fact is that kid's life will probably be unstable whether you are involved or nor...the real father is going to "want his child" eventually..even though it's bullshit posturing. it will still cause you major problems..the mother is going to want to "put the family back together' and kick your ass to the curb...only to take you back a while later.

This IS how it's going to go.....You really want to be a part of this shit?..... you can just LEAVE

dustin

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Re: what do I do. Kid isn't mine.
« Reply #106 on: December 05, 2011, 08:47:47 AM »
for people who didt see this n wonder why I'm scared to leave.

kids farther has a kid of his ow on the way n a soon to be wife. They live opposite side of the country! N he wants othing to do with the kid or her. The kid has no farther. Not that its my problem anymore. But my mind hasn't processed she's not mine I feel yet n I feel like she is. N I feel like I'm leaving my kid ... I feel horrible.

but I know I need to keep my own mental health here n let her find a new dad.

You're a good person for feeling the way you're feeling. But remember, feelings aren't cognition. It's an immediate reaction to a situation or event. Don't act on your feelings, act on rational thoughts.

This bitch is crazy. And as painful and emotional as it is you need to look out for yourself first and foremost. You need to get out of there while you can. The longer you stew in this bullshit, the harder it'll be. It sounds cold, but you just need to think about yourself and fuck off before she allows more damage to be done. She's exploited you and she's keeping you around for the free ride.

Natural Man

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Re: what do I do. Kid isn't mine.
« Reply #107 on: December 05, 2011, 08:48:40 AM »
for people who didt see this n wonder why I'm scared to leave.

kids farther has a kid of his ow on the way n a soon to be wife. They live opposite side of the country! N he wants othing to do with the kid or her. The kid has no farther. Not that its my problem anymore. But my mind hasn't processed she's not mine I feel yet n I feel like she is. N I feel like I'm leaving my kid ... I feel horrible.

but I know I need to keep my own mental health here n let her find a new dad.
Kid's father who abandonned him and her to start a new family with another woman and getting her pregnant is the asshole in this story, not you.

I guess he wasnt even present at birth, wasnt even present for the first year... I guess his own father might have abandonned him and his mother some decades ago and he s just walking in his step reproducing the whole scenario once more subconsciously...

Anyway. The woman you ve been with chose you to support her and the kid she got with someone else. But she doesnt love you, she will never ever love another man the way she love the father of her kid. This is a fact. You can either accept it, and why not give her another kid while raising this other asshole 's kid at the same time. It's a potential option.

Or you can free yourself from all of this. It's "funny" to think you care more about this kid than his own father.

newmom

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Re: what do I do. Kid isn't mine.
« Reply #108 on: December 05, 2011, 08:53:52 AM »
GET A DNA test FFS. Think about everything else after. You need 100 percent certain (well tests are never 100 percent).

Lets play a scenerio.


She said the child isn't yours. She told the ex it was. Not so long in the near distant future, he sees she's emailing/texting someone else. The ex gets the DNA test and he's proved not to be. She comes banging on your door for a test, you do it and it's your child. Hello back child support.

Get the test now, if not yours get your name removed from birth certificate. If you want to be in the childs life, that's your decision but you have no legal ties to child.

Natural Man

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Re: what do I do. Kid isn't mine.
« Reply #109 on: December 05, 2011, 08:54:14 AM »
You're a good person for feeling the way you're feeling. But remember, feelings aren't cognition. It's an immediate reaction to a situation or event. Don't act on your feelings, act on rational thoughts.

This bitch is crazy. And as painful and emotional as it is you need to look out for yourself first and foremost. You need to get out of there while you can. The longer you stew in this bullshit, the harder it'll be. It sounds cold, but you just need to think about yourself and fuck off before she allows more damage to be done. She's exploited you and she's keeping you around for the free ride.
He can, potentially, raise this kid and stay with the mother, if she entirely submit herself to him, and give her another kid, build a family, if they both follow a superior form of guidance that will unite them thru their future existence.

As i said it, only very rarely do bastards child get as much love from a father of a different bloodline as they would from their real genitor. But, it sometimes happens . In the  majority of the cases, it doesnt, especially nowadays.
There are potential odds it might all turn out positively. Fact is it all lies in the OP and the woman's hands.
And in a couple a man has to lead the woman, especially such a duplicitous, troubled, unstable woman with a fucking leash.


lyquid

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Re: what do I do. Kid isn't mine.
« Reply #110 on: December 05, 2011, 08:55:39 AM »
ya I'm leaving it settled. I hate one post out of 50 someone says work it out n It changes my mind. No I have to leave n will for sure to many good post in this page. Its gonna be tough not seeing kid I thought was mine every morning man.. But fuck I need my own family one day n a wife that'll love me truly.


Kid's father who abandonned him and her to start a new family with another woman and getting her pregnant he s the asshole in this story, not you.

I guess he wasnt even present at birth, wasnt even present for the first year... I guess his own father might have abandonned him and his mother some decades ago and he s just walking in his step reproducing the whole scenario once more subconsciously...

Anyway. The woman you ve been with chose you to support her and the kid she got with someone else. But she doesnt love you, she will never ever love another man the way she love the father of her kid, this is a fact. This is a fact. You can either accept it, and why not give her another kid while raising this other asshole 's kid at the same time. It's a potential option.

Or you can free yourself from all of this. It's "funny" to think you care more about this kid than his own father.


kyomu

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Re: what do I do. Kid isn't mine.
« Reply #111 on: December 05, 2011, 08:56:39 AM »
Get yourself some good legal advice and like others have said, try and lock down your assets.

Same thing happened to a friend of mine (except his wife was cheating on him with her ex), same thing - broke down, confessed everlasting undying love, I'm an idiot, please forgive me it was just a horrible mistake, my life is yours etc etc etc.

My mate loved her, thought their 5 year old was his - he was torn up but he gave her another chance.

8 months later another friend give him the heads up that his wifes car was parked outside her ex's house all day. Another confontation, more tears, more confessions more forgiveness - seriously - my friend wanted the fairy tale and was willing to give anything for it.

Fast forward another 5 months, same thing but this time finally he says enough is enough. The little boy is now 6, has had his first day at school, it was just a horrible situation. The wife saw him as a provider sure, but nothing else. I don't know what the hell is wrong with some people. He's now a broken man, has started drinking, isn't working anymore and I worry for his future.

Don't let this happen to you bro. Do something now, but your girl, she had her chance. Don't reinforce her behaviour by telling her it's all ok and you'll let it slide. It won't stop.
This kind of woman should be in jail.

Natural Man

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Re: what do I do. Kid isn't mine.
« Reply #112 on: December 05, 2011, 08:57:25 AM »
Just a question tho. You told us you thought kid wasnt yours from the beginning.

But are you being honnest here?

I dont know, maybe you knew kid wasnt yours from the beginning, told her you would stay with her for ever, would raise it as if he would be your own kid...and finally changed your mind... and are actually bullshiting us?

CalvinH

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Re: what do I do. Kid isn't mine.
« Reply #113 on: December 05, 2011, 08:58:06 AM »
ya I'm leaving it settled. I hate one post out of 50 someone says work it out n It changes my mind. No I have to leave n will for sure to many good post in this page. Its gonna be tough not seeing kid I thought was mine every morning man.. But fuck I need my own family one day n a wife that'll love me truly.





Are you going to hit it one more time before you leave ???

lyquid

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Re: what do I do. Kid isn't mine.
« Reply #114 on: December 05, 2011, 09:00:17 AM »
wes grionk dustin. Rly good replys this page n I am leaving for sure. nthee can't be any debates I know this ill only hate her for rest of time I'm with her n b miserable my whole life just cause of someone elses mistake. I'd rather send the kid money cause I duno. Feel like a asshole since she still feels like mine.

but have to realize she's not is all. Regardless if I help the kid for abit but I can't be here or near the mother. Ill let you all know what happens.

just to be safe will have a test by end of week n 2 days once I get it to find results apparently. If it is mine I'm leaving regardless I know I have to. Only thing I can do if its mine is  offer the kid to live with me when its older n hopfully give her some morals in life n be a good person.

QuakerOats

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Re: what do I do. Kid isn't mine.
« Reply #115 on: December 05, 2011, 09:02:16 AM »

that is the right thing to do isn't it. I know it is fo my mental health. Its just super hard this happene  today. So all I can think of is past yr with this fuckin kid. All the pictures all over the house of us my phone full of pics man. Like wtf. How ca wome do this. I am so totally lifeless. Heart broken bout this kid I thought was mine n heart broken reading a email of how madly in love she was with her ex n how he was her one n true only love.



if this story is legit i feel bad for you man, very sad story.

The Wizard of Truth

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Re: what do I do. Kid isn't mine.
« Reply #116 on: December 05, 2011, 09:04:00 AM »
ya I'm leaving it settled. I hate one post out of 50 someone says work it out n It changes my mind. No I have to leave n will for sure to many good post in this page. Its gonna be tough not seeing kid I thought was mine every morning man.. But fuck I need my own family one day n a wife that'll love me truly.


Exactly man, you deserve better than that tramp

Natural Man

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Re: what do I do. Kid isn't mine.
« Reply #117 on: December 05, 2011, 09:04:02 AM »
wes grionk dustin. Rly good replys this page n I am leaving for sure. nthee can't be any debates I know this ill only hate her for rest of time I'm with her n b miserable my whole life just cause of someone elses mistake. I'd rather send the kid money cause I duno. Feel like a asshole since she still feels like mine.

but have to realize she's not is all. Regardless if I help the kid for abit but I can't be here or near the mother. Ill let you all know what happens.

just to be safe will have a test by end of week n 2 days once I get it to find results apparently. If it is mine I'm leaving regardless I know I have to. Only thing I can do if its mine is  offer the kid to live with me when its older n hopfully give her some morals in life n be a good person.


...

You re becoming less and less convincing ...

If it's yours, you stay with her/him and keep raising him while keeping her on check you worthless piece of shit. You have no excuses to leave if its yours.

What kind of fucked liar are you yourself? Considering you come from a dysfunctional family yourself, and that your own father might have abandonned you, you re clearely conditionned to reproduce this behavior, and it looks like it's just what you re potentially attempting to do, while bullshiting us and even yourself.

Frigging mental cases i swear.


newmom

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Re: what do I do. Kid isn't mine.
« Reply #118 on: December 05, 2011, 09:04:30 AM »

just to be safe will have a test by end of week n 2 days once I get it to find results apparently. If it is mine I'm leaving regardless I know I have to. Only thing I can do if its mine is  offer the kid to live with me when its older n hopfully give her some morals in life n be a good person.

Very good. You can still be in childs life if your the father and end any relationship with the mother. If the child is yours and you two are not together, you may have rough patches, but listen to me, keep it civil for the sake of the child. Why wait till the child is older? She isn't of sound mind, IMO, so learning years are when they are young.

If the child is yours, you can file for sole and/or joint physical custody.

I STRONGLEY encourage you to petition the court to have your name taken off the Birth Certificate if your not the father.

wes

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Re: what do I do. Kid isn't mine.
« Reply #119 on: December 05, 2011, 09:06:14 AM »
wes grionk dustin. Rly good replys this page n I am leaving for sure. nthee can't be any debates I know this ill only hate her for rest of time I'm with her n b miserable my whole life just cause of someone elses mistake. I'd rather send the kid money cause I duno. Feel like a asshole since she still feels like mine.

but have to realize she's not is all. Regardless if I help the kid for abit but I can't be here or near the mother. Ill let you all know what happens.

just to be safe will have a test by end of week n 2 days once I get it to find results apparently. If it is mine I'm leaving regardless I know I have to. Only thing I can do if its mine is  offer the kid to live with me when its older n hopfully give her some morals in life n be a good person.

Good luck and be strong....know in your heart that you are doing the best thing for yourself.

Always remember one thing when a woman fucks you over and you`re torn between staying and leaving:

You came in to this world alone,and you go out alone........be happy with the time in between because this is all there is.

wes

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Re: what do I do. Kid isn't mine.
« Reply #120 on: December 05, 2011, 09:08:15 AM »

...

You re becoming less and less convincing ...

If it's yours, you stay with her/him and keep raising him while keeping her on check you worthless piece of shit. You have no excuses to leave if its yours.

What kind of fucked liar are you yourself? Considering you come from a dysfunctional family yourself, and that your own father might have abandonned you, you re clearely conditionned to reproduce this behavior, and it looks like it's just what you re potentially attempting to do, while bullshiting us and even yourself.

Frigging mental cases i swear.


Try fucking off asshat!!

Natural Man

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Re: what do I do. Kid isn't mine.
« Reply #121 on: December 05, 2011, 09:09:35 AM »
Good luck and be strong....know in your heart that you are doing the best thing for yourself.

Always remember one thing when a woman fucks you over and you`re torn between staying and leaving:

You came in to this world alone,and you go out alone........be happy with the time in between because this is all there is.


You dont come in this world alone, you come from the love of two humans who are suposed to surround you with love, hope (faith) all life long. And you re supposed to go surrounded by the love of a happy family you contributed to build when you die.  If you treated your loved ones like shit then yeah, chances are high you ll end alone.

You came to the conclusion like many others, that we come and go alone, because you come from a dynsfunctional family who never taught you love, hope and where everyone betrayed each others. Just like many in your case, the only coping strategy to survive you developed over time was to focus solely on yourself. And will die... alone as a result.

And you re entirely missing the point of life, as most atheists do.

Proof being old doesnt equate being wise.

apply85

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Re: what do I do. Kid isn't mine.
« Reply #122 on: December 05, 2011, 09:11:02 AM »
A lot of people don't understand the woman's behavior, it's not weird to me that she did this, it's weird to me that people don't understand to be honest

If you want to get to the heart of woman, what makes them different than men, it's their power hunger. Sexy women wake up to power hunger much earlier than men do because as cute little girls they command power already, they go please daddy please please can i have a pony  ;D, they turn parents against each other with their affection, they already begin to undersatnd the value of deception. By the tiem they are 12-13 they are already getting gawked at by men, they go to their friends house and they get all the attention while their brother just stands there, then by 14-15 they get looked at sexually, men make eye contact with them because htey can help it. Ever notice how some women's gazes can give u an instant boner? U don't think this happens to women too? Of course it does, women spend all morning in front of the mirror then go in the street and their mood depends on whether they get eye fucked walking down the street, it wakes up their clitoris and theyre horny all day.

A woman's ability to fool a man means power to her, she keeps one man next to her in bed and she sleeps in the comfort of owning him with a web of lies, she keeps anothe rman somwhere else with the comfort of owning him becase she has his kid... u gotta understand that to women everything has a secret value called leverage, a kid is leverage, a wedding ring is leverage, her beauty if leverage. And finally the extent to which they allow themselves to be power hungry is determined by how wel they can hide that power hunger. When you get interveiwed, do u tell the guy one day u hope to be his boss? no no, u gotta play the game, u gotta hide ur ambition to some extent, that is what women do with their innocent angel eyes and their little smiles and their innocent act.

That's why she sent the man emails about how she love dhim then turned around and told u she really loves you, OP, because she is a little emperess about to lose her empire, she keeps it together with a web of lies.

And the question of how can she do this to her child, how could she not? Child = leverage to women, to men child = angel because men are stupid and honest and when women say thsi child is an angel they believe the women like idiots, but to women child = leverage and the more value this child has the more leverage she has, that's why they make men worship children.

OP, you got yourself into this situation by being weak before. I don;t mean that as an insult, i mean that you let your woman control you, you were not strong enough to look at her affection and love and say no, this is a weakness. You letting this kid own real estate in ur mind, you letting this kid get in the way of you leaving this wman is another similar weakness. Be strong now and get what's yours, leave her with whatever u feel she should have, then go somewhere else and start ur own little family and this time be fucking strong and start setting bounderies for women and not lettign them own ur heart

Natural Man

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Re: what do I do. Kid isn't mine.
« Reply #123 on: December 05, 2011, 09:12:39 AM »
Try fucking off asshat!!
it wouldnt surprise me if you ruined a family or two yourself, based on your comments on these questions on here.

You sound like the pefect example of a man in his 50s who focused his whole life on his little muscles and ego, ruined a family, and is trying to fit with the young boys on the internet cause nobody cares about him in real life anymore as he burnt all the bridges with his family members in the past.

Basically a bad man, a loser, pretending to be a wise old man - on the internet-, like there are many nowadays.

But i guess you simply reproduced what your own father did to you, without having a clue about what you were doing before figuring it out once it was alrdy too late.

Animals abandon their offsprings, not humans. Humans who do, arent humans, and they reap what they sow, spawn even more misery on earth until their lineage get swept ultimately by the consequences of their own acts reported from one generation to another.

wes

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Re: what do I do. Kid isn't mine.
« Reply #124 on: December 05, 2011, 09:13:36 AM »
You dont come in this world alone, you come from the love of two humans who are suposed to surround you with love, hope (faith) all life long. And you re supposed to go surrounded by the love of a happy family you contributed to build when you die.  

You came to the conclusion like many others, that we come and go alone, because you come from a dynsfunctional family who never taught you love, hope and where everyone betrayed each others. Just like many in your case, the only coping strategy to survive you developed over time was to focus solely on yourself. And will die... alone as a result.

And you re entirely missing the point, as the atheist you are.

Proof being old doesnt equate being wise.
You`re living proof that being an asshole never goes out of style for assholes.

In fact you seem to have cornered the market on assholism.