Treatment of Women in Islam
Islam commands justice and kindness towards women:
"O you who believe, it is not lawful for you to take women as heritage against (their) will. Nor
should you straiten them by taking part of what you have given them, unless they are guilty
of manifest indecency. And treat them kindly. Then if you hate them, it may be that you dislike
a thing while Allah has placed abundant good in it."
The Holy Qur'an Ch.4:19 (The Women)
In the above verse, Allah tells the Muslims that they cannot treat women like slaves, but must
act justly with them. The verse enjoins Muslims to treat women kindly and warns them that they
may hate a woman when Allah has “placed abundant good”, in her. Muslims are to be just kind
to women and they must be careful not to underestimate the worth of women because of
imperfections that are made up for by their much greater good traits. Muslims are not to exploit
women, be cruel to them nor take them for granted. These are the commands of Allah to “you
who believe.”
Relationship between the believing men and women:
“ And the believers, men and women are friends of one another. They enjoin good and
forbid evil and keep up prayer and pay the poor rate, and obey Allah and His Messenger. As
for these Allah will have mercy on them, Surely Allah is Mighty, Wise."
The Holy Qur'an Ch.9:71
We do not abuse, neglect or hurt friends, do we? Neither should we treat women in such a
manner! We are kind and helpful to our friends, are we not? Women deserve similar treatment
from their fathers, husbands, brothers, sons and other male relatives. That goes for the
government and society also, if it is a believing government or society.
In a recent book, “Silent No More”, by Paul Findley, a member of Congress, for twenty two
years, writes “ A report released in January 2000, by the John Hopkins Scholl of Public Health
in Baltimore, Maryland, offers the startling conclusion that one of every three women worldwide
has been beaten, raped or somehow mistreated.” “ Americans seem to cite severe
discrimination in some Muslim countries as evidence that Islam condones mistreatment of
women…….Most discrimination arises from brutish customs and male chauvinism, not from
the Qur’an or the Sunnah.” He goes so far as to suggest, very much against the conventional
wisdom, that “Islam may be the single most liberating influence in recorded history, greater
than Christianity and Judaism.”
Mr. Findley explains, “ Thomas W. Lippman, a Jewish journalist who served for three
years as 'the Washington Post, bureau chief in Cairo', writes, “ In a society in which
women were possessions, taken and put aside like trinkets, often held in conditions
approaching bondage, the Qur’an imposed rules and prohibitions that curbed the
worst abuses, ensured women’s property rights, and encouraged men to , treat
women with kindness and generosity…..The Quran's dictates on women's legal
status, were quite advanced for their time and Islamic Law gives women's som erights
more liberating than those found in western legal codes---the Quran and Hadith---lay
down rules ensuring for women the respectable and dignified status that had been
denied them (in pre-Islamic society and emphasize the stability of the family."Page 128
William Baker, a Christian leader writes: “ When we consider the status of women in pre-
Islamic societies, we learn that two-thirds were in some form of slavery…..women were nearly
invisible in a male-dominated world in nearly every religion and very culture of the world.”
It is clear that the women in the seventh century, were nearly invisible in a male dominated
world, in nearly every religion and very culture….” Two thirds of the women throughout this world
are in some kind of slavery.” Then along comes Islam, as if out of the blue, completely
revolutionizing women’s rights; even giving them some rights that the west has yet to grant to
women in some parts of the world. These rights were given to the Muslim women of the
seventh century. They did not have to fight for their rights, did not have to participate in
demonstrations, or go on hunger strikes, as their western sisters had to. They did not have to
even lift a finger. These rights were given to them by this new religion of Islam. No one had to
force the Holy Prophet of Islam to grant these rights to women. These rights were their due as
human beings and Islam was the fulfillment of all religions, so they were liberated from the
centuries of oppression.
Not only does Islam require justice for women, it insists on kindness to them and co-
operation between them. Mr.Findley quotes a Muslim, Nour Naciri, who comments on the
Hadith. “ The husband and the wife are as equal as two teeth in a comb.” It means that men
and women married or single, are equal in the rights their Creator gives them as human beings
and in the obligations He entrusts them to discharge as His vicegerents on earth. Male and
female must co-operate, each in his or her full capacity, just as the teeth of a comb, so to
speak must, must co-operate for any combing to be done. They must co-operate within the
family unit and within society as a whole.” (Page 131, Findley)
Both Holy Qur'an and Authentic Hadith support kind treatment of women:
Other than the verse of the Holy Qur’an commanding kind treatment towards women, there are
also hadith on the subject matter.
“ The most perfect of the believers in faith is the best of them in moral excellence, and the best
of you are the kindest of you to their wives. (TR. 10:11)
“ Accept my advice in the matter of doing good to women.” (BU. 67:81).
Muslim (15:19) has this hadith about the Farewell Pilgrimage address:
“ O my people! You have certain rights over your wives and so have your wives over you---
They are the trust of Allah in your hands, so you must treat them with all kindness.”
" Admonish your wives with kindness."
(Page 790, 8500 Precious Gems, Allahdin Publications)
“ A person who ill-treats his wife during the day and loves her at night, acts in complete
contradiction of the beauty of human nature.”
( Page 801, 8500 Precious Gems, - Allahdin Publications)
" Woman is fragile like glass, and men should therefore treat women with delicacy and
tenderness as they would handle an article made of glass."
( Page 801, 8500 Precious Gems, Allahdin Publications)
“The more civil and the kinder is a Muslim to his wife, the more perfect of faith he has; fear God
with reference to two meek beings, woman and orphan.”
The Holy Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, stressed kindness and
good treatment of wives. This is an echo of the Holy Qur’an, in the verse mentioned in the
beginning, as well as others:
“keep them in good fellowship, or let them go in kindness (2:229)------“Retain them in kindness,
or set them free in kindness, and retain them not for injury.” (2:231)
Overwhelmingly, the Holy Qur’an and authentic hadith command kind treatment of women, yet
there is one verse in the Holy Qur’an that has been taken to advocate the mistreatment of
women, especially by Non-Muslim critics.
The Holy Qur’an states:
“And as to those on whose part you fear desertion (nushuz), admonish them, and leave
them alone in the beds and chastise (wadribu-root dharaba) them. So if they obey you, seek
not a way against them. Surely, Allah is ever Exalted, Great.” Ch.4:34
“ And If you fear a breach between the two, appoint an arbiter from his people and an arbiter
from her people. If they both desire agreement, Allah will effect harmony between them.
Surely Allah is ever Knowing, Aware.” Ch. 4:35
Obviously all the measures from admonishment to marriage counseling mentioned here are
attempts to save a marriage that is in danger of dissolution. If the chastisement in this verse
means beating one’s wife to an inch of her life, it is hard to see how that would contribute to
rejuvenating the marriage. On the contrary, it probably would destroy the marriage, by making
the wife hate her husband. It could end, the husband as well as the marriage; more than one
abused wife has killed her husband, or mutilated him. This is very bad advice and the Holy Qur’
an does not give bad advice.
The word, ‘Dharaba’ (chastise), does not suggest repetitive or intense beating:
The word, “Dharaba”, translated as “chastise”, is in the singular, so only one strike is allowed.
Page 106 If (2 R’s or R’s rather than one) “Dharraba”, had been used, it would have meant to
strike repeatedly on intensely. That word was not used in this verse. “Dharaba”, can mean also
“to set an example.”
Asma Barlas quotes Amina Wadud that this verse,” should be read as prohibiting unchecked
violence against females. Thus this is not a permission, but a severe restriction of existing
practices.” ("Believing Women" in Islam', Asma Barlas, . U. of Tx. Press, Austin, 2002.)
The chastising mentioned in the verse apparently was symbolic, a way for the husband to
express his displeasure for serious misconduct on the part of the wife. Barlas writes that,
“Tradition holds that the gesture should not cause pain. Hence some exegetes favor using a
folded handkerchief. She notes that ‘dharaba’ also means to prevent further gross misbehavior
by making clear the husband’s unhappiness with his wife’s behavior.”( Page 188, Barlas)
Ibn Abbas, a companion of the Holy Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said
that the chastisement could be with a toothbrush, or something similar. The Holy Prophet,
according to Tirmidhi (10:11) said, “ You have a right in the matter of your wives that you do
not allow anyone whom you not like to come in to your houses. If they do this, chastise them in
such a manner that it should not leave an impression.”
When some women complained of their husbands ill treating them, the Prophet, said,
according to Abu Daud (12:42), “ You will not find these men as the best among you.”
John Esposito writes, “ Muhammad’s wife Aisha narrated that, “Muhammad never physically
struck anyone with his own hand. Neither the Qur’an nor the Hadith record Muhammad as ever
mistreating or losing his temper with any of his wives, even when he was unhappy or
dissatisfied.” (Page 106, Esposito 'What everyone needs to know about Islam', 2002)
In the major hadith collections---hadith about striking, all emphasize that striking should be
done in such a way as not to cause pain or harm. The Founder of the Shafi Law School
maintained that it is preferable to avoid striking altogether. Despite the fact that domestic
violence continued to exist in male dominated cultures and to be legitimated in the name of
religion, neither the majority of Quranic verse, nor the hadith support or permit it. (Page 107,
Esposito)
SUMMARY
The word, nushuz, in the Holy Qur'an means, 'desertion':
"The word nushuz, which I have translated as 'd e s e r t i o n', primarily means r i s i n g,
and as spoken of a woman in connection with her husband it means her rising against her
h u s b a n d. This is explained in a number of ways; according to one of these explanations it
means her leaving the husband’s place and taking up an abode which he does not like
(AH). LL quotes various authorities showing that nushuz on the part of the woman means
that the wife resisted her husband and hated him (S, Q) and deserted him ( T ) .
The remedy pointed out in the case of the wife’s desertion is threefold. At first she is
only to be admonished. If she desists, the evil is mended, but if she persists in the wrong
course, her bed is to be separated. If she still persists, chastisement is permitted as a last
resort (Rz). Regarding this last remedy two things must, however, be borne in mind.
Firstly it is a mere permission, and sayings of the Prophet make it clear that, though
allowed, it was discouraged in practice. Thus the Prophet is reported to have said, on the
complaint of certain women as to the ill-treatment of their husbands: “You will not find
these men as the best among you” (AD. 12:42). According to Shafi, it is preferable not
to resort to chastisement of the wife (Rz). In fact, as the injunctions of the Qur’an are
wide in their scope, the example of the Holy Prophet and his constant exhortations for
kind treatment towards women, so much so that he made a man’s good treatment of his
wife the gauge of his goodness in general — the best of you is he who is best to his wife
— show clearly that this permission is meant only for that type of men and women who
belong to a low grade of society. Secondly, even this permission cannot be adopted
indiscriminately, for sayings of the Holy Prophet make it quite evident that chastisement,
when resorted to in extreme cases, must be very slight. I‘Ab says it may be with a
toothbrush or something like it (AH). The Prophet is reported to have said: “You have a
right in the matter of your wives that they do not allow anyone whom you do not like to
come into your houses; if they do this, chastise them in such a manner that it should not
leave an impression” (Tr. 10:11). Thus very slight chastisement was allowed only in extreme
cases." English translation of the Holy Qur'an and Commentary, by Maulana Muhammad Ali.
Ch.4:34
The word, "dharaba" (pronounced as 'za-ra-ba'), has multiple meanings in the Holy Qur'an:
1. Chastise (Ch.4:34)
2. He set forth ( an example or a parable) Ch.14:24 ; Ch.16:75,76,112 ; Ch. 30:28,58 ;
Ch. 66:10,11
3. "So We prevented them from hearing in the cave." Ch.18:11( meaning from Lane Lexicon)
The word 'Chastise', according to Random House Webster's College Dictionary, 1990,
means:
a) to discipline
b) to criticize severely
c) to chasten (to inflict suffering or punishment to humble or improve ; to restrain ; to refine)
In light of the above meanings, it would be quite appropriate to consider the word, dharaba
(chastise) to mean, restrain, or prevent such women from deserting their husbands. This would
lead to restoration of an endangered matrimonial relationship, through kindness and
arbitration. Marriage counselling would also be an example of such preventive measures. It
should be noted that an abused wife, would decline any prospects of reconciliation, which is
the objective of this verse. The mention of "fear of breach between the two", and "appoint an
arbiter from his people and her people", is presented by the Qur'an (Ch.4:35) to prevent, and
denounce violence against women.
According to the teachings of the Holy Qur'an:
Women are:
To be free from bondage of slavery. Ch.4:19
To be treated kindly. Ch.4:19
To be treated with respect. Ch.9:71
To be kept in good-fellowship, or "let them go in kindness". Ch. 2:229
To be set free in kindness (in cases of divorce) and not to be retained for injury. Ch.2:231
To seek an arbiter, for her protection, if her husband fears desertion or rebellion by
her. Ch. 4:35
To seek an arbiter, for her protection, if she fears ii-usage or desertion from her
husband. Ch.4:128
