Best of Getbig - Quotes, Pictures and Videos

[Skeletor]

I know I'm going to catch a lot of shit for this, because I know you guys hate Brian, but as far as I'm concerned this crazy solipsistic paranoid/schizophrenic delusion of grandeur is right up there with 'I don't tolerate disrespect' and 'Girls and Sons'...

Brian WH Hankins, esq.

That is a very modest, if not self-deprecating, post by bhank's standards since he admits he will lose that battle. Prime bhank would never admit to losing. But still a classic post and the delusion is off the charts.

[Hulkotron]

Not that long ago he posts talking about how healthy he is and now he is talking about dying the end of the year.

Anything for Mr. 0-3 to get out of a fight.

I really hope its Autumn at the latest

[Hulkotron]

Your legs look like small rudiments from a species that is trying to abandon them as it is evolves into an ocean-dwelling creature where lower extremities are no longer needed.

[Taffin]

^^^ Hahaha - beat me - well deserved Raymondo 

[beakdoctor]

.

.

"Overcooked wieners are what he used to eat, thugs would tremble as soon as he set foot on those cobblestone streets......"

[wes]

[Hulkotron]

The competition is going to be stiff (nh) for POTY this year but BB is making a strong case for the repeat.

[Rambone]

The competition is going to be stiff (nh) for POTY this year but BB is making a strong case for the repeat.

[FitnessFrenzy]

Re: Flex Wheeler needs another kidney ?

A while back he said they have warned him that the arms may go too. But he was still positive, "as long I'm alive it's worth it"
Imagine having just a torso.

Maybe he could get a job in law enforcement?

[FitnessFrenzy]

Timeline
This guy messages Brian on FB asking Brian to get in touch
I post his image here
Brian deletes the post from FB with the message
Bailey Sanchez makes his FB private


And Brian wants us to believe he doesnt know Bailey..

I wonder if Bailey posts here?
At a guess its "Royalty"

[illuminati]

Front runner for POTY  - Brilliant.

[Taffin]

[Taffin]

Zoom in - trust me - this is the pic that keeps on giving

GENIUS

[FitnessFrenzy]

.

[Humble Narcissist]

Zoom in - trust me - this is the pic that keeps on giving

GENIUS

What am I missing?

[joswift]

What am I missing?

everyones a hanky

[Rambone]

Zoom in - trust me - this is the pic that keeps on giving

GENIUS

Hahahah!

[The Scott]

Jeff,I hereby am changing Dereks name to....."Derek Lumpsford" !! 

H.O.F. post, Wes!

[wes]

H.O.F. post, Wes!

Thank Scott....it`s been a while since I made it to this thread.

[Skeletor]

.

"This is the diary of Dukie Wood Healy Hankins, car chaser, and all around good pup.
 
 My life started out pretty good, I remember this man they call Brian came and picked me up. It was tough leaving my brothers and sisters, but he had a huge house and a dimwitted good natured manner about him. He bought me lots of kibble, and occasionally gave me hot dogs and SpaghettiOs from his plate. Sometimes a couple of hours after we ate, he'd run to the bathroom and stink up the place. It smelled like blood and guts, and all types of other things. I imagined my ancestors smelled similar when they took down a wounded elk or deer long ago. Sometimes I wished I spoke English instead of barks so I could tell him to go outside and do his business like I do. 

There were other nice things, there was a drunk girl that came to visit. She was fun, she'd sit on the couch with a bottle of Jack, and watch Lassie with me. She left after the police came. I'm not sure what they do, but they sure do come around a lot. I think they're like dog catchers for humans. Brian complains that they don't knock a lot.

Then there was my buddy Rocky. Normally my type aren't suppose to like cats, but Rocky was different. He was big, African, and  mischievous. And he hated Hankins, that's what he called him, not master, boss, or Brian. He called him Hankins.

Rocky loved to knock Brian's drugs off the counter, and then paw them under the furniture. When he was down there looking for them, Rocky then pounce at Brian's head. Rocky said that patchy fur on Brian's head was the best toy a cat could have.

One day we were by the pool, Brian is always by the pool, I don't understand why he doesn't work, and he threw a ball to Rocky. Rocky ignored him like usually, but I wanted to play so I brought the ball back. Brian started dancing around half nude, yelling, "Dukie can't be faded, Dukie can't be faded. See that Rocky? Dukie can't be faded." I was happy, but Rocky told me he was certain our owner was fag now, not just a fag, but an asshole.

Rocky left soon after that.

I miss my buddy Rocky.

Things were slow, but normal. Brian would sit by the pool, and eat and get high. And then get high and eat. He'd argue with people on the internet, and sometimes he'd leave, and I wouldn't see him for a few days. Like the time he had to go to the vet, and get his pec fixed. He didn't say how that happened, just for me to be careful around bitches and cars.

Then one day it all changed, he'd been arguing all day with the Indians about his Summerboard, whining into the phone about it. Not a bark  , growl, or snarl, but a whine. He was angry the whole night, yelling about how many bio-identicals he could've bought with that Summerboard money. Brian was always buying silly shit. I'd gone to my couch to sleep, when Brian came walking over with a jar of peanut butter.......

From that day forward, my days of blissful puppyhood were over."


I imagine an audiobook book version read by Morgan Freeman.


                                                                                     

[Taffin]

Gah!  Beat me!  It's the Morgan Freeman voice that tipped me over the edge with this one!

 

[Rambone]

You're not saying that DaveLovesD is the kind of "guy" who bought his Oculus hoping they develop a  "backstage pump room" 4k virtual experience?

[Hulkotron]

if a guy wants to date a fat girl, i don't care it's his dick and reputation not mine

i just don't want to hear about "male privilege" or that it's harder to be a female because in today's day and age it clearly isn't, all they have to do is exist and they will be valued and desired, men always have to prove themselves

the whole left acting like women are victimized and that the system is rigged against them is total lies, i think some women know that but they like using the victim card to their advantage

E

Earl, did you ever find out what happened to the filthy, vile slag who sexually violated you with a fork and mocked your eyebrows?

LMFAO.  Please provide the back story.

It must have been around 7 years ago he posted it now, but it was funny as fuck. From memory, an innocent young girl tried to banter with Earl at work and gently prodded his ass with a fork. Earl, however, froze like a rabbit in the headlights, and his pupils dilated as if he'd just witnessed the Roswell alien come down from space and flash its cock at him.

Although the fork 'didn't quite penetrate his anus', it was (and I think I'm quoting)'easily the most shocking thing he'd ever experienced', and Earl went charging through to his HR department to report that he'd been raped.

Shockingly, HR were quite apathetic about this appalling workplace sexual assault, and they failed to handle the incident with the tact and professionalism it deserved. This, along with the initial 3-pronged assault on Earl's bodily autonomy, engendered a seismic shift in his worldview, and catapulted him down a path of misogyny, depression, and sexual abstinence. From that day forward, he traded handshakes and hugs for awkward salutes, flinched at the sound of a female voice, and vowed to protect his vulnerable asshole with an impenetrable shield of dense muscle tissue.

Naturally, it led him to Getbig, and in some perverse way I guess we all owe that trident-wielding young whore a great debt of gratitude.

[Rambone]

Solid pick!

[Hulkotron]

Solid pick!

It may be one of the best posts I've ever read on here, really fantastic.